Chapter Title: Life of the Loonies
Author: Monkeys Are Dangerous Reptiles
Rating: PG-13
Category: Crossover
Genre: General/Comedy
Summary: Meet the inhabitants of Grunge's Mental Asylum, Suzi, Becca, Charlotte, and Trevor. To any ordinary people they are delusional, unfit to live in normal society, but to themselves, they are the heroes of the universe along with many people you may recognise they fight to save the universe from the evil empire...
Disclaimer: I own Becca, that's about it.
They are strong. They are silent. They are smart. They are the defenders of the universe!
Suzi pulled the blaster from it's holster and pointed it at the door.
"Harry, hurry up!" she shouted. "They're coming through!"
"Ok, Suzi," replied Harry Potter. "I've almost got the bridge across."
"Almost isn't good enough!" yelled Suzi. "If we not quick we'll be dead. If we're not super speedy, the ship we'll leave without us!"
"You don't need to tell me that!" retorted Harry. "Look the bridge is extended, so get your ass over here!"
He pulled the wand and blaster from his weapon belt and sprinted across the bridge. Suzi followed continuing to fire shots behind her. They reached the ship just in time. Han Solo and Chewbacca were just about to take off when Harry and Suzi grabbed the closing door. Becca and Luke Skywalker pulled them through.
"Trying to get rid of us, were you?" said Harry.
"You were beyond the time we set," said Becca. "We thought they'd got you."
"You're lucky you made it," said Luke.
"Tell me about it," said Harry, panting slightly.
The Millennium Falcon soared away from the Star Destroyer at awesome speed.
"Leia," said Suzi as the four walked through to the main quarters of the ship. "Is the R2 unit alright?"
"Yes," said Leia. "It should hold the data for the Empire's plans."
"Great," said Harry. "We should be able to come up with a counter attack then?"
"Yes," said Hermione Granger, who was sitting at the other side of the room. "We just have to hope they're not tracking us. It's hard enough trying to find a rendezvous point that won't be intercepted without leading them straight to it."
"Well, you guys will just have to magically sweep the ship for tracking devices then, won't you?" said Han, sardonically as he and Chewy entered from the cockpit.
"I take it we've gone to light speed then?" said Leia.
"Yes, your worship," said Han.
Harry rolled his eyes.
"You two bicker almost as much as Ron and Hermione," he said.
"Hey," came Ron Weasley's voice from behind Becca. "I resent that!"
Charlotte laughed.
"So, what's the plan?" asked Paige Matthews (from Charmed) climbing up from the main gun.
"We rendezvous with the rest of the fleet, analyse the data carried by R2-D2 and form a counter offensive," said Luke.
"Great," said Paige. "Need any potions?"
"Not at the moment," said Becca.
"Ok," said Paige. "I'll go tell Piper and Phoebe. It's all work, work, work around here."
"Yeah," said Suzi. "I know what you mean."
Five hours later the Millennium Falcon rendezvoused with the rest of the rebel fleet.
"You're late," said Admiral Ginny Weasley, when the crew of the Falcon entered the main chamber.
"We ran into a Star Destroyer," said Ron.
"They didn't track you did they?" asked Ginny, anxiously.
"No," said Hermione. "We did a sweep of the ship, as did Paige, Piper and Phoebe. We didn't find anything."
"Well that's something," said Ginny. "Leia, where's the R2 unit?"
"Right here," said Leia, allowing R2-D2 space to move forward. "You still got 3P0?"
"Yes," said Ginny. "But he's so annoying!"
"Tell me about it," said Han.
"Anyway," said Leia. "You need to get the droid to Dumbledore to see what the data says."
"I'll take care of it," said Ginny. "Trevor!"
Trevor ran up to the red head and bowed awkwardly.
"Yes, Admiral," she said.
"Get the droid to General Dumbledore," said Ginny. "We need the read outs quickly."
"Yes, of course, Admiral," said Trevor, leading R2-D2 away.
The crew of the Millennium Falcon moved to their seats in the assembly room. They were amongst the highest ranked field personnel of the rebellion, therefore they took front row seats. Ginny took a larger seat on the opposite side of the large, white room with Dumbledore standing in the centre. All the important personnel wore white, but crew members wore orange jump suits. They all sat in silence as Dumbledore explained the empire's plans, and Ginny explained the devised counter attack. Most of the assembled members nodded in agreement although some, like the falcon crew were surprised at the mission they were given. The falcon crew was to be the decoy!
"So you want us to go and parade in front of the controlling Star Destroyer while you attack the rest of the fleet?" Piper Halliwell-Wyatt questioned Ginny after the briefing.
"Yes," said Ginny. "They will immediately recognise your ship and without the commanding officers giving orders the rest of the fleet will not be working as a unit."
"I still don't see what you can gain from knocking out maybe three Star Destroyers at most," said Piper. "It will make no difference to their workings."
"Maybe not," said Ginny. "But it will help them realise that we mean business."
"They know that we mean business!" exclaimed Piper. "We did knock out the Death Star a couple of months ago."
"Yes," said Ginny. "But we can't let our advantage slip!"
"Advantage!" shouted Piper. "They have us running from one side of the galaxy to the other and there's always one ship less than a parcek away. This attack will only mean that we lose more ships and more pilots and we can't afford to keep replacing equipment or personnel!"
"People know there is a risk when they join us," said Ginny. "You can either accept that or leave."
"Come on, Piper," said Harry, approaching. "We need you on the ship, we're about to go."
"Ok," said Piper, turning to follow Harry. "This isn't over, Admiral," she called over her shoulder.
Piper and Harry arrived at the Millennium Falcon shortly. Captain Solo and Commander Skywalker took their places alongside Chewbacca and Princess Leia in the cockpit whilst the rest of the crew headed to the main quarters.
"The hyperdrive is damaged," was the news brought by Leia shortly after take off.
Becca headed deep into the ship with Harry and Paige. Becca pulled the levers to open up the passageways with the two magic folk behind her. She opened the final door into the control room where the hyperdrive operated from and opened up the cover. Paige and Harry then attacked with several spells, Becca locked up the cover and the three returned to the main quarters.
"Fixed?" asked Leia upon their return.
"Yes," said Becca.
Leia returned to the cockpit and a few moments after, the crew felt the familiar jolt of the ship moving to light speed. Whilst flying, the crew of the falcon practised aiming with their blasters and other weapons.
Meanwhile, back at Grunge's Mental Asylum, four patients by the names of Rebecca, Susan, Charlotte and Anne (Trevor) were standing in a room with a small circular table propped up against the wall with a variety of hair dryers in their hands...
A/N Well, that is an odd story for me. Erm, quite unlike anything I've written before. Review and tell me what you think!