By Norwalker
Part 10 of ?
Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.
Category: Romance/Angst/Drama
Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.
Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.
Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.
Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).
WARNING: There is always the possibility of major character death. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an Alternate Universe (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don't give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.
" Awww… Poop!"
" It's alright, Buffy" Giles says, encouragingly, " You're making good progress"
" I am not!" Buffy says, pouting, " I'm just a big , clumsy poopyhead!".
Buffy walked away from Giles, feeling discouraged. They've been training together for the last month now, and Buffy feels she's as awkward and ungraceful as when they started. She has the strength; she has the speed. It's just when she tries to put them together, everything goes whacko. Slayer powers my butt. That must be where they're located, cuz I keep landing on it. Damn I keep missing the target, my hands and feet get all tangled up, and I fall on my butt. All the damned time. At least I'm not hitting Giles on the chin anymore. First time we did the padded gloves, I missed so bad I knocked him out. Geeze, I'm hopeless. Where's all these " Slayer powers" they keep saying I got. I got strength, ok, that I can see. But I'm like a total klutz. I can just see it, at the Slayer convention, when they're handing out all the awards and stuff… Faith'll walk off with the good stuff, and I'll get the " Klutzy Slayer of the Year" award. Yay me, Go me!
"Come on, Buffy, you have to try again" Giles says, patiently, " I know it's not going like you thought, but you're really getting better," He smiles at her, " now, lets try the kicks again. "
Buffy mumbles something not too kind under her breath, and walks up to the dummy. She backs off a little, and starts doing some simple kicks. She hits the dummy, without sending it flying. Encouraged, she tries a roundhouse kick. Score. She gets happier, and starts a series of roundhouse kicks , one after another…she's doing fine, until she goes a bit too fast, and her legs get tangled up. She falls on the floor, hard, on her butt.
" Poop. This is just stupid" She whines, " I'll never get this stuff!" She gets up, brushing herself off. She glares at the dummy, like it's the dummy's fault… he tripped her!
" Buffy, you're being too hard on yourself," Giles says, mildly, " You're thinking that you're going to make a mistake, and then you do. You're thinking too much about it. Just let go, and let your body take you to it. You've got the basics, just trust yourself to do it."
Buffy shakes herself out, trying to get rid of the tension. She starts kicking again, this time just letting her rhythm flow. She starts out with some simple kicks, nothing too fancy, just to get her warmed up. Then, she moves on to more complex kicks. She does an axe-wheel ,then spins off, into a roundhouse. She does a back flip, landing on the balls of her feet. She pushes off into a flying hook, and after contact does a full back cartwheel. Moving forward, she does a K-kick, which knocks the dummy off the stand. It lies on it's back, and when she lands, she runs to it, kneeling, and raises a stake. She looks to Giles for approval.
" Much better, " Giles says, smiling, " Very good"
"Yay me !" Buffy says, excitedly. She does a little hopping victory dance, feeling good about herself. She dances over to the prone dummy, and does a few kicks on it as if saying " Don't mess with me, vamp". She picks up the dummy, and hangs it back on its support frame.
" Are we done?" Buffy says, hopefully. Some things never change, and Buffy still is not loving training regimens.
" Well, I think we're done with hand –to – hand ," Giles says agreeably, " But I think you need to put some time in on weapons".
"Awww…." Buffy says, the whine coming back in her voice, " Me and weapons… totally sucky. Do I have to?" She looks at Giles with big eyes.
" All the more reason to work on your skills" Giles says firmly. Bloody hell wish she wouldn't do that eye thing." Best we start with knives."
Buffy makes a semi-rude impatient noise, and like a child that has to do something she hates, she stomps to the weapons locker. She picks out some really vicious looking knives.
Giles watches her as she starts to set up for target practice with the knives. He's concerned about her. She's capable of doing well… he can see she has the ability and strength. But something just isn't clicking. At least her love of training hasn't changed Giles thinks as Buffy starts throwing the knives at the target. She'd still rather be doing something… anything… else.
" DAMN!" Buffy shouts, upset. She missed the target again. " This is so bogus, Giles." She turns to look at him.
" Just relax, Buffy , and concentrate. Narrow your focus on the target, and don't forget to follow through" Giles says.
He watches with a small frown of concentration on his own face. She's not concentrating, but it's more than that. I can understand, trying to absorb all she has to learn, and dealing with who she is, and how she reacts to her friends… that can be distracting for her. But it's more. More than just the missing memories. She's missing something else. But what is it? He watches as she readies to try again. He sees that she looks at the knife, then at the target, then back at the knife. Her brow is furrowed, and she has an unhappy expression on her face. It's almost as if she's afraid of the weapons. Or afraid of herself. She's lacking a confidence she used to have. Likes she's struggling to remember what she knows, rather than just trusting herself to know. She lacks a flow, because she can't stop thinking about the next step. It's so different than how she used to be. She used to just pick up a weapon, and could suss it out and use it very quickly. Now each new thing seems to be a struggle for her. Like she just won't trust herself to understand it.
"Ok, Buffy… pick up the knives and have another go at it" Giles says. The look of disappointment is plain on her face, but she obediently goes for the knives to do another round. She sets herself in front of the target, and starts throwing again, doing better this time.
"Good, Buffy" Giles says, praising her, " that's it, don't think to much about the target, just let the knife flow evenly from your hand". This has all been so very difficult for her. She feels like she has to be back to normal… yesterday. No one is pressuring her, but she's putting all this pressure on herself. She's gotten it into her head that if she doesn't hurry up and be perfect at everything, she's letting us all down. That's silly, of course, but she can be awfully stubborn… just like she used to be. The truth of the matter being that she's doing remarkably well. Considering the scope of her loss, she's coping admirably. But she is so hard on herself, giving herself no quarter for mistakes. Even the tiniest thing seems to upset her. Like for instance, she made a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Dawn(God, what these Americans eat!), but she forgot that Dawn prefers the smooth peanut butter, and made it with the crunchy. Dawn tried to tell her it was ok, it was just fine. But she insisted on doing it again, tossing the old sandwich and making a new one with the smooth stuff. And she was upset with herself for half an hour after, because she forgot that one silly little thing.
I wish I could find something to help restore her memory. I know how much more comfortable she'd be. But my researches have turned up a blank. There are plenty on spells for forgetting, but remembering seems to be untapped. That's odd, you'd think there would be lots about it; surely there have been lots of instances when someone wanted to remember things. But evidently, it just wasn't something popular. I haven't checked with the dark magicks, but I really don't want to go there. Enough damage has been done using them.
Giles is interrupted in his reveries when a hand comes down on his shoulder. Startled, he turns to see the Faith standing next to him, smirking a little.
"Hey, G" , She says softly, " for a watcher you kinda not keeping too good a watch", she teases him.
" Yes, well, concentrating on Buffy's performance" Giles says, covering over his woolgathering.
"How is our little student doing?" Faith asks…then winces when Buffy misses an easy throw.
" She's getting better, " Giles says , trying to be positive. Buffy misses another throw, and curses. He goes on, " Unfortunately, she still seems to be struggling somewhat."
" Yeah, I can see. That last throw was just… sad" Faith says, watching Buffy. Buffy gamely goes to collect the knives, to do another round, but you'd have to be blind to see she's not happy with her performance. " She's sticking with it though, right G?" Faith queries.
" Oh yes, " Giles says, " She works at it. Hard. But…." He watches as Buffy starts to toss the knives again. " Have you taken her out on patrol yet?".
" Been kinda not doing that, " Faith says, in reply, " You think she's ready?". Her own expression betrays her doubts.
" I think it would be a good thing, " Giles says, " She's been training a lot, but not had any practical use for what she's learning. I believe she'll do better if she actually puts some of the theory to use."
" Well, if you think so" Faith says, her tone still carrying an edge of hesitation. Giles looks at her, wondering if she's holding back something he should know. She pats his arm reassuringly, " No… I'm sure she'll do fine…do fine, " Faith says…and watches as Buffy throws, hitting the target dead on. She smiles, " Anyway, I'll watch over her, be sure she's ok."
" She's lucky to have you, you know, " Giles says, as he watches Buffy train.
" Yeah… whatever, " Faith says, never one to take compliments well. She's looking at him with that " I'm not an idiot…don't give me no B.S. " look.
" No, I mean it, " He says, turning to her and seeing the look, " really. She's lucky she has you to look out after her. " He smiles at Faith. She shakes her head as if to dismiss his words. " Look, Faith, " Giles confesses, " I'll admit I wasn't too happy when you came into her life a few years back. I thought it would be unnecessarily distracting for her. I didn't know you at the time, and I thought you were just in it for fun," he pauses, working out what he wants to say, " I was wrong. I've seen how loyal you've been to her, even when she was less than kind to you. I've seen how you've encouraged and supported her, letting her know you'd always be in her corner. Even after she came back, " Giles continues, " you stuck with her. Though she didn't remember anything about you. A lot of people would've given it up as a bad job, and moved on." Faith feels a twinge of guilt, knowing how close she came to moving out not all that long ago, " but you stuck the course, Faith. You've been really good for her. She's lucky, and I am too, having you here". He pats her affectionately on the shoulder.
Faith's staring out, feeling a flush creep up her neck. She's never been one to take compliments well. She's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. She looks at him, expecting to see he's only joking, but she sees him looking at her with caring and affection. She blushes, and turns away. She's not used to this; someone caring about her for no other reason but that she's herself. She makes a dismissive noise, as if it doesn't mean jack to her, but she's nearly glowing inside. It really matters that Giles thinks highly of her. She changes the focus, calling out to Buffy
"Hey, Buffy, you're doin' great!" Faith says, just as Buffy manages to hit another bulls eye.
" Liar!" Buffy says, but affectionately. She turns to Faith, and grins, " Guess I'm not doin' too badly". Without looking, she throws another knife…which again hits dead center. She gets a apologetic look on her face, anticipating disaster…then she looks, sees where the knife went, and gets a "Whoa" look. She jumps up and down, excitedly.
" Did you see that? Did you see that?" She cries, thrilled. She realizes she's acting like a kid, and puts on a layer of cool, " I mean" she clears her throat, " just the usual ". But she can't keep quite keep the excitement out of her voice.
Faith looks at her, doing her best to not grin like an idiot. She loves seeing Buffy feel so triumphant. Lately she's been all upset with herself because she's not doing everything perfectly. Seeing her so enthusiastic, even over a silly knife toss in training, warms Faith's heart. She's beginning to realize she's falling in love with Buffy all over again. She may be feeling just a tiny bit wary of that. A whole lot confused about that. Not like I'm cheating on her… with her. Is it? I mean, it's…her…and not her. She's different, but so many of the things I loved … do love… about her are the same. I feel so weird about it all… it like cheating on your lover with her. That makes no sense at all… but none of this does. It's so weird. Sometimes she acts grown up and reasonable, other times she acts younger than Dawn. Buffy was never like that… well, I mean, she never acted so enthusiastic about much. She was determined, and she was cool, and she was smart… but sometimes she seemed so… serious all the time. Whoa, girl… this is Buffy you're talking about, the love of your life…and the same woman that's standing there holding knives. It's like you took Buffy, stripped away some of the many layers of sophistication and pain she built up into a shell, and this is who you have. I dunno… I dunno anything. God, this is too much for my head!!!!
" So, Giles, does she always do this?" Buffy was saying when Faith starts to tune back into the training room.
" I'm sorry" Giles says, looking bewildered, " I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."
"Faith, " Buffy says, her tone a little on the ironic side, " Does she always just kinda space out for no reason?"
" You wish, Blondie" Faith says, a little embarrassed at getting caught.
" Yeah, well… been trying to get your attention, " Buffy says, " so what ya thinkin' about, huh?".
" And that would be your business because… ?" Faith asks.
" Because. " Buffy says, adopting a lilting, teasing tone," because you were thinking about me. How cute I am, and how sexy I am, and how you wanna date me, and…." She watches as Faith goes a little pink, and laughs.
Faith is so confused. God , that is so NOT Buffy. Buffy would never flirt openly like that… not around Giles. Not in the 'workplace' so to speak. It's not like anything she'd do… so why am I just so eating it up?
" I'm thinking of how I'm gonna protect your ass when we go out on patrol" Faith growls, not letting Buffy get away with it.
" Patrol?" Buffy says, looking at Faith. She looks at Giles and repeats, " Patrol?" Her face looks worried.
" Yeah, 'bout time you got off your butt and see if you can pull your own weight, Blondie" Faith says, teasingly. Turn about can be so fun, " Don't worry. I'll be there to cover ya if the boogums come for ya".
Buffy makes a face. "Puh-lease, " She says, full of false bravado, " I can so handle myself. Just wonderin' if I'm really ready?" She looks at Giles. Don't make me do this, please, please, don't make me do this!
" I think you're ready, Buffy, " Giles says, trying to allay her concerns." You've come a long way in your training, but you really need to go out and get some field time now. All the training in the world isn't going to do you any good if you don't put it to use."
"Well, I guess if you say so, " Buffy replies, putting on a big grin. Inside, she's not feeling so good about it. I'm so not ready. I know I'm gonna mess up, make a big botch of things, and then they're gonna know I'm a fraud. I'll blow it, then they'll know that I'm not her. They'll know, and they won't like me anymore. They want her, I know it. I'm trying so hard to be her… but it's tough. I forget things, I screw things up. Now it's really gonna be out there. I'm just a dumb klutz, and once Faith realizes that, she's not gonna want to be with me no more. She's gonna know I'm not her "B". I'm just some fraud trying to be. Cuz I love her, and … she loves that other one. Damn her! Why won't she just let that other one go? Why won't she just like me as I am? I hate this so much, cuz I'm talking like it's a whole different woman. I know it's not, it's me. That's who I used to be. Everybody acts like she was some kinda goddess or something. But hey, I'm right here! I'm pretty damned good too. If you'd only look!
" Buffy? You ok?" Faith asks solicitously, noticing Buffy seems distracted.
" Oh? Huh? Oh yeah, I'm great" Buffy smiles, " Just great".
" Ok then, so … ummm… guess we go home, get some dinner, then we can go patrolling." Faith says.
" What about Dawn?" Buffy says, brightening. Maybe she's found an out, " Who's gonna watch Dawn?"
" Buffy, c'mon. Dawn's fifteen. She can handle herself. She has my cell number if there's a problem," Faith says, looking at Buffy with an odd expression, " You sure you're ok? I mean, we don't have to do this."
" Oh…fine, I'm great" Buffy says, " I want to do this. Get out there. Slay the vamps, ya know? It's my calling, right?"
" Yeah," Faith says, her tone a little doubtful, " But if you're not ready… ".
" No, I'm so ready!" Buffy says.Oh, yeah, just so ready!
" You're sure?" Faith asks, again.
" Yes, I'm sure!" Buffy snaps, a little irritated, " I'm gonna do fine, ok?"
" 'K, Buffy. It'll be great, " Faith says, smiling to encourage her.
Oh yeah
Great!
Tara lay beside Willow, watching her sleep. She was worried, and she didn't understand why.
Since they'd moved out from Buffy's , things had really changed. Willow had taken a 180 in their relationship, becoming very attentive and supportive of Tara. She apologized to Tara, saying she'd been so caught up in bringing back Buffy, then trying to make it all like it was. She hadn't really been paying attention to the most important person in her life… Tara. But she was going to make it up to her now, if Tara would let her.
" I was so stupid, Tara" Will says, " I thought I had the answers for everything. I knew how to make it all better. But I just messed it up. I just brought Buffy back wrong. I was full of myself, and I didn't pay enough attention to what you were telling me." Willow got up from the bed, and went to the window, and looked out. " Now, I've really screwed it up. I've kinda cut us off, Tara. I shouldn't have tried to use magic to fix things. Some things, you just can't fix".
" But you meant well, Willow" Tara says, " Your intentions were good. You wanted everybody to be happy again. There's nothing wrong with that. Just…."
"What, Tara?" Willow says.
"Well… It's just we…and I'm including myself in this, we shouldn't have messed with the dark magicks. " Tara says, feeling a little guilty, " They're dangerous. And they always have consequences. No telling what we've done."
" Tara, you weren't at fault, I was, " Willow says, " Whatever happens, it was my fault. You and Xander and Anya just went along cuz I convinced you. but you didn't do anything wrong." Willow looks away. She doesn't want to reveal anything about what she knows.
" Willow, I'm an adult. I knew the risks," Tara says, " I knew there would be consequences. It's not only your fault."
" No, Tara, you only went along cuz I told you it was safe," Willow says, a small edge to her voice, " I wanted so much to be the hero, to make it alright for everyone, that pushed you into it. You tried to stop me, but I didn't pay attention. I … dismissed your objections. You didn't want to upset me, so you went along."
" Willow, you weren't the only one that had ulterior motives, " Tara says, " I knew you wouldn't be rid of this Buffy obsession until I let you do this spell. I was… sick of Buffy. Sick of how she seemed to have a hold on you, even beyond the grave. It hurt, Willow, it really did."
" Oh , God, Tara" Willow cried, coming over to Tara, sitting next to her and putting her arm around Tara's shoulders, " I know I went to far, but you can't blame Buffy… or yourself. It was my fault for letting myself get all twisted around." Willow turns to her, taking Tara's chin in her hand, turning her face towards Willows. " I'm so sorry I hurt you honey. I never…wanted that. Not in a million years did I want to hurt you."
" I know, Willow, I know" Tara says, taking Willow in her arms and holding her tightly. They stay like that for awhile, each just wanting to share the moment, not let it end. Finally, Tara continues, " What're we going to do about Buffy?".
" I don't think there's anything we can do, Tara, " Willow says, quietly, " I've done tons of research, and I've not been able to find a memory restoration spell. Lots and lots of forget spells. Seems everybody wants forget something, " Willow wishes she could forget, " All we can do is be there, if Buffy or Faith need us. Otherwise, I guess we just have to leave them alone."
Tara almost can't believe what she's hearing. Something happened the night they decided to move out. Something between Willow and Giles. Willow has been avoiding Giles ever since that night. Now her attitude towards Buffy and Faith and her role in their lives has changed radically. There's something Willow isn't telling her.
" Willow, is everything ok? I mean… this is just so different from just last week. Is there something you're not telling me?" Tara asks, wanting to help.
"No, nothing, " Willow says, firmly, " Nothing at all." She changes the subject, " lets just go to bed."
Tara knew something was wrong. They had that discussion three weeks ago, and she hadn't said anything, but she could tell Willow was hiding something. She could feel a sadness surrounding Willow, as if she were mourning something. Every time she tried to talk about it, Willow just kind of veered away from it, diverting the conversation to something else. When Tara tried to come back to it, Willow would just shut it down, insisting everything was alright.
But everything wasn't alright. Willow wasn't Willow anymore. She seemed to have lost her interest in magic. She never suggested the practice spells anymore. If Tara wanted to try something, Willow would help, but she avoided initiating anything new herself. This worried Tara, because she knew Willow loved to do spells… even simple spells like glamours or floating small objects. It was almost as if she were afraid of doing spells.
Something happened between Giles and Willow, I know it. All this traces back to that night they spent so long in the kitchen. When Willow came out from the kitchen, she was pale. When I asked her about it, she just passed it off as being tired, and went to bed. But she's been different since that night. She won't talk about what she and Giles discussed. I wish she would, wish she'd share whatever it was with me. I can't help her if I don't know what's going on. But I can't force her to tell me, either. All I can do is try to talk to Mr. Giles, see if he'll tell me.
Tara lay awake, staring at the ceiling. She knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.
Or any night, until she knew.
She stood by the grave marker, waiting.
It was an early winter night in California, cool but not especially cold. Still, she was glad she'd brought her jacket, as the air had a bit of a nip to it. The moon, full and bright, gave the cemetery a particularly surreal look. Everything seemed to be a silhouette, an illusion of something rather than the real thing. It was almost as if you walked towards something, it would shimmer and fade away, only being an illusion, not real. She shivered a little bit, not from the cold. Everything right now felt that way to her.
Faith knelt by the stone. She was waiting for Buffy. They'd planned on going out on this patrol together, but at the last moment, Buffy told her she had something to do, something she had to do now. And that she'd meet her here. By this stone. Faith traced the name on the stone with her fingertip: Joyce Summers. Faith had brought Buffy out here a few times since she was back. She'd hoped that Buffy's memories might be jogged. She knew that the memories may never come back, but still she wanted to try. Although she was growing more and more fond of Buffy… the new Buffy, she still loved the old Buffy. And she felt that Buffy…the new one… was cheated , somehow, not having those memories. Especially of her mom, who in Faith's opinion, had been a very special woman.
Hey, Joyce. I know, been a long time since I've been here. What with Glory trying to make the world a better place…for demons, and then Buffy dying…and taking care of the P-nut, guess I… Will you listen to me? Sounding like you're really here and care. Kinda dufus of me, I know. But … damn I could really, really use you to listen to me 'bout now. Guess that's why I loved ya, Joyce. Well, one of the reasons, anyway. You always made time to listen to me and my dopey problems, no matter how stupid they were, or how busy you were. I always felt better after talking to you, even if I didn't like the answer you gave me, or if you couldn't give me an answer at all. I guess it was knowin' ya cared an all. So, guess I'm gonna bend your ear one more time. I know ya got better things to do… God probably put you in charge running things around there, but hope ya'll give me a few moments anyway.
I really don't know what to do here, Joyce. Kinda all mixed up, and not really thinking too straight here. Guess that's nothin' new huh? Especially when it comes to Buffy. Faith grins, remembering how many times she ran to Joyce when Buffy made her nuts. Thing is, Mrs. S, is that even if you were here, not sure you could help me with this one. Not sure anybody can help me. It's so damned weird. And stupid. I mean, if you think about it, it's totally stupid. But I'm kinda torn up about it, don't know what to do.
You know I love Buffy. God, I love her so much, she's part of me. Does that make sense? I mean, she's like my blood, or my breath, or something vital to me living. That's how much I love her. Loved her. She was my everything. When she died, I felt a whole big piece of me died, too. It felt like someone took a knife and ripped out vital bits of me, it hurt so much. It left me feeling numb and dead and all achy bad inside. Only thing kept me goin' was takin' care of the P-nut. She misses ya, by the way. Misses her mom real bad. I can so get that! I just hope I aint been screwin' her up too badly. But I kinda feel you're there helpin' me with that.
Anyway, Red tried to bring Buffy back. She did some of that hocus- pocus stuff she does, and did bring her back… sorta. Ok, ok I know I shouldn't have been so hard on Red. I know she had good intentions, and all. But that ooglie-booglie stuff always makes me nervous, and … well… she kinda screwed up. She brought her back, but it wasn't the Buffy that was your baby… or my honey. I mean she looks like Buffy, and talks like her, and some of the things she does is so much like Buffy it's eerie. She reacts to things a lot like Buffy would… some stuff… other stuff, it's all different. And upstairs, where it counts? She doesn't remember anything. She don't remember you, or me, or the P-nut, or Red, or Tara or anyone. It's likes someone reached into her brain and messed around with it, throwin' out a lot of the important stuff… the stuff that made Buffy- - Buffy. Man, it's been torture to look at her in the morning, look into the beautiful eyes of her, and realize that all the stuff we been through together, all the stuff we meant to each other, is just gone. It's almost worse than when she was gone.
She's been 'back' over a month now, and here's where it gets weird. Ya sittin' down up there? Some nice comfy cloud? Hopin' so. Anyway, thing is… I'm kinda fallin' for her again. I guess that'd be natural, huh? Cuz it's Buffy, even if it isn't 'our' Buffy. I mean, I knew almost from the first, when I met her in L. A. she was somethin' special. Didn't take a whole long time for me to know she was special, very special, to me. We've had our ups, and our way downs, and all. We fought lots, and sometimes came near to leavin' again… too many times, really. But through it all, she was my everything, my love, my joy, my heart. I never ever want no one else. So what's the problem? Well, here's this 'new' Buffy. She looks like Buffy, talks like her, smells like her, acts a lot like her. But, she's not her, doesn't have a lot of the stuff Buffy was. And… the way I'm startin' to feel, it's like I'm cheating on Buffy. With Buffy. Now, aint that weird?
It's stupid, I know. I mean, how can I cheat on Buffy with Buffy? But it's not MY Buffy. It's not the Buffy I've lived with and loved and shouted at and wanted to bean and wanted to kiss til I died Buffy. She's different. The same but different. God, this is so fucking confusing. It shouldn't be this confusing, should it? But it is .If I even casually touch her, I feel like I'm betraying the Buffy I knew. That's stupid thinking, but I can't help it. I know the Buffy I knew, the Buffy I adored, is gone. Gone for good. So I shouldn't be so weirded out. Afraid. But I'm afraid, big time. Cuz even getting past the feeling of cheating on Buffy… what if this stuff I'm starting to feel, this stuff… is just me? Trying to get back what I lost? What if she… new Buffy… doesn't feel the same way? I'm sensing she's feeling something, but it could just be friendship. Or something like that. So what if I put my heart out there, and she steps on it. Not meaning to, don't think she'd hurt me deliberately, but what if she doesn't want me like that? God, I'd … it'd be like losing Buffy twice. Don't think… no, I know I couldn't handle it. So, Mrs. S, you're so much better at this stuff than me. What do I do?
Faith sits silent in her mind, just looking at the stone. Almost as if she's expecting an answer. She's so wrapped up in it, that when the hand touches her shoulder, she nearly jumps out of her skin. She's up on her feet in a flash, and whirls around, stake in hand pointing towards…. Buffy. Buffy, who's looking a little more than scared at the moment, who has her hands in the air and is backing away.
"Faith. It's me…it's just ME!" Buffy says, fearfully. " Sorry! Sorry, didn't mean to startle you!"
"Buffy!" Faith says, aggravated, " What the hell? Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone at night in a cemetery? God, you coulda gotten yourself killed!".
" God, Faith, I'm so sorry" Buffy says, regretfully, " I… I didn't think .So stupid. I'm so stupid! Please, please don't be angry at me, ok?"
Faith looks at Buffy, and seeing her so distressed, feels her anger dissipate. She feels embarrassed snapping at her… not her fault, really. Faith just feels mortified, cuz of what she was thinking, and all of a sudden Buffy is just there. She was surprised and a little upset, almost like Buffy was eavesdropping on her thoughts. God that's so stupid!.
"It's ok, Buffy," Faith grumbles, "just be more careful, ok? Don't want ya to get hurt, is all".
"'K" Buffy says, quietly. She changes the topic, wanting to forget the little scene, " She was really important to you, wasn't she?" Buffy asks.
" Who?" Faith answers her question with a question.
" My mom, " Buffy says, pointing at the grave, " She was special to you."
" Oh yeah… Mrs. S? Oh yeah" Faith says, " She…well, I didn't have a mom. Lost my mom when I was real young. Never had a mom growin' up… let me tell ya, it totally sucks. But I didn't even know what I was missin' til I came here and met your mom. I mean, my dear old mom… well, she had lots of problems. Didn't really want me, ya know? Kinda drunk and high all the time… anyway, when I came here, you're mom… just kinda took over as my mom. God, she just made me feel like part of the family… and like it was natural and all. Ya know? She treated me like another daughter, and it was great. I mean…well, like the prom, for instance, I remember…." Faith stops. She knows that memories and things are painful for Buffy, because she can't remember any of this. " It's not important, we should get going…" Faith starts off, figuring to just let it drop.
" No…Faith? Please? Tell me? I mean… I … I can't remember her…and anything you can tell me is important" Buffy pleads. She really wants to know this stuff. Wishes she remembered it.
"Well… ummm … the prom. Yeah." Faith starts, trying to make it easier for Buffy to understand, " Thing was, it was kinda our 'coming out' , so to speak. We'd been together up to that time, but it'd never been like… public. So… it was a nervous night for both of us. I mean, I didn't mind us being a couple, but there was still the Angel thing. We'd kinda got past that… but it still was kinda there, though we'd finally resolved it. So anyway, I was all nervous that night, and I'd decided to wear a dress, even though I'd told you I was gonna do the 'butch' thing and wear a tux. So I was nervous about your reaction to that too. And I was kinda fluttering around, scared and all. Then Joyce… your mom… came in, and kinda had this box with her. She said she had a present for me. And when I opened it, it was … god, they were beautiful… it was a necklace and earrings. Her mom had given them to her on her prom, and … well, she wanted to hand them down to her daughter. But like, I said shouldn't Buffy have these? And she said, No, Buffy's got her own stuff she wants to wear… and I want you to have them, Faith. God, I … I got so all weepy… she had to kid me about my makeup to keep me from bawling like a baby, ya know? But they were so beautiful, and they just went so well with what I was wearing… but , thing is, that's just how she was…" Faith trails off, feeling the emotions rising. She also is remembering how Buffy looked that night. So beautiful, in her white floor length gown… she was like an angel, coming down those stairs… Faith turns away, afraid Buffy might see her tear up.
She turns back when she hears a small sob. Buffy is standing there, tears running down her face, her lip quivering. She's trying her best not to burst out crying.
"Buffy…what is it?" Faith says, coming over to the diminutive blonde slayer, " what's wrong?"
" Oh, God Faith I so wish I could remember her!" Buffy says, her voice cracking, " She sounds so wonderful. It's hell, not remembering." Faith feels her heart melting; Buffy looks so small and alone. She can't help feeling… God, I got it bad for her…again!!!!!!!
" Look, Buffy" Faith says, trying to comfort Buffy, " Look… I still have the necklace set. I got them in my room. I … you should have them. You know? It'd be something of hers, something personal, you can have. When we get home, I'll get them for ya, ok?"
" No… faith, no!" Buffy says, firmly, " She wanted you to have them. She gave them to you. It was important to her… and to me too. I want you to have them, ok?" Faith nods. Buffy goes on, " but, you could do something for me"
" Sure, Buffy, anything" Faith says
"Well…two things, actually, " Buffy says, quietly, " First, when you get time, could you sit with me and tell me more about mom? I'd… I'd really like to know her better. Could you do that for me?" Buffy asks.
" Of course, Buffy. I'd be happy to, " Faith says, " so, what's the second thing?"
" Well.. ummm… don't know how to ask this, " Buffy says, hesitantly, " but when I first…well… came back, you had a little nickname for me… "B". Thing was I got confused, cuz I thought you meant "Bea" like Beatrice. But … then you stopped calling me that… and I kinda… well, I thought it was kinda sweet…and I'm kinda missing it… so I was wondering…?"
Faith looks at Buffy, and is biting her lip. She feels weird again, and she doesn't want to upset her, but this is just too much to ask right now… so she thinks, anyway.
" Look, Buffy. I'm… well, please don't take this wrong. But… when you came back, I … well, I thought you were the 'other' Buffy… and well, "B" was a special little name I had for her… and… I know you're sorta her… but… well, I can't… not just now…don't be mad, but I just…." Faith trails off.
" No, no, I get it" Buffy says, a little disappointed, " No big… really."
" Give me time, ok? Please? I…" Faith starts, but Buffy interrupts her.
"No…forget it. Kinda stupid, " Buffy says, hiding her hurt, " I didn't think."
" Look, Buffy… I…." Faith says, then sees Buffy's face. She can tell that she's closed a tiny bit of herself off from Faith…first time she's seen that. It cuts Faith, just a little bit. She sighs, and changes tack. " Buffy, maybe we should just get to patrolling. That's what we're out here for. We gotta get you back up to snuff so you can start patrolling on your own again."
" By myself?" Buffy says, not liking that, " How come? I mean… I kinda…." Then she cuts it off. She senses something's changed, and it's not to the good.
"What Buffy?" Faith asks, her tone businesslike.
" Just… kinda like being with you… thought we could patrol together?" Buffy says, quietly.
" Yeah, well, Buffy, there's like 12 cemeteries in Sunnydale, never mind the parks and other places vamps like to hang. One slayer can't do it all in a night, " Faith says, retreating a bit into her shell, " Since there's two of us, we gotta split up the territory , so we have a chance to cover everything."
"Yeah, ok, I got it, " Buffy says, retreating a bit into her own shell, " So, lets get this done, ok?". Buffy starts off.
"Where you going, Buffy?" Faith asks.
"Ummm… this way?" Buffy replies, pointing in the direction she started off in.
" Look, for the first couple of nights, just follow my lead, ok?" Faith says, " You're still new at this. Kinda prefer I know where you are … don't want you rushing off, taking on more than you're ready for".
"Yeah… ok… don't worry. Not exactly hero type here, ok?" Buffy says, a little cross, " You lead, I'll follow, ok?"
" Ok, " Faith replies, curtly, " Let's go".
For the next hour or so, they do a sweep through a couple of cemeteries. The silence grows between them, each keeping to themselves. The only conversation is about slaying, and it's Faith doing the talking, mostly, pointing things out, telling Buffy some things she needs to know, what to look for, etc. For the most part, however, it's quiet… awkwardly quiet, between them. Both are on their own little islands of thought.
Smart, Buffy, really smart! Buffy thinks to herself. She's not ready… she's still mourning … me? God, that's just too weird. But you had to go and ask her to use the little pet name she had for her… me… god, I really getting to hate this!!! Grrr!!!
So what's the big, Faith? Faith chides herself, she only asked you to call her B. God, you act like it's some big deal. But it's not…is it? But that's MY Buffy's nickname… I … she… shit, this sucks. Faith, it's her. She may be acting different, but it's her. You gotta stop this… but… she might not… she doesn't want me that way… does she? She…she just wants to be buds, I'm sure. No, I don't wanna give her that name. It'll make it too fucking confusing. God, I hate this, I hate this I HATE THIS!!!!
"What's that?" Buffy asks, whispering. She grabs Faith's arm.
"What?" Faith asks, also whispering, but not knowing why.
" Listen!" Buffy says.
From inside the crypt next to them, Faith can hear some faint noises. She looks at Buffy, and tilts her head, indicating to follow her into the shadows.
" Sounds like the crypt has some visitors…and I'm so thinking they don't have heartbeats" Faith whispers, " Let's wait here for them to come out. That way, we got the drop on them, and aren't confined by the crypt". Buffy nods agreement.
Both blend back into the shadows, waiting for the vampires to appear. The adrenaline starts to pump inside them: this is their destiny, what they were born to do. After a few minutes, two rather large vampires appear, carrying stuff.
" Ready?" Faith whispers. Buffy nods." Ok, you got the guy on the right, I got the guy on the left, lets go"
" Hey, guys, " Faith calls out to the vamps, " grave robbing? Tsk tsk. It's so… tacky! Whatever is Ms. Manners gonna think?"
The vampires, startled, drop their loot and turn towards the slayers. They look, and a look of disbelief comes over them.
" What the hell? You two little girls lost? God, the both of you together hardly make a meal. Almost not worth the trouble to eat you… almost!" The vampires start towards the slayers." Hey, Bumpy face? Ever hear the term " Vampire Slayer?" Buffy calls out to 'her' vampire. He looks confused. "Ok, how about, " Oh god, my leg, my leg?" He looks even more confused. He starts at her, but she does a forward axe kick, hitting him on the thigh bone, cracking it. He goes down, screaming.
" Oh god, my leg, my leg!" He screams. Buffy just smiles, and runs in to put in the killing blow.
But he's not quite out of it yet. As she approaches, he swings his arm out, hitting her. She flies back from the force, hitting the wall of the crypt, a little stunned
" Buffy!" Faith calls out, distracted and worried. She starts towards Buffy, to see if she's ok, but her vampire grabs her and tosses her….throwing her over to his left. She twists and lands on her feet, ready for him. He runs towards her, ready to lunge, but she does a backwards kick, knocking back and on his butt.
Buffy, recovering from her blow, gets up, seeing her vampire trying to limp off. Oh, no you don't, butt ugly! She runs after him, stake raised. She figures she'll stake him in the back. But he senses her, and turns suddenly, thrusting out an arm, hitting her again. She's prepared, though, and does a half flip, coming down on her feet. She rushes in, but this time does a roundhouse kick on him, knocking him onto his bad leg. He screams, and tries to get up. But his leg is just too bad. He kicks out with his good leg, but the slayer just hops over it, and is on top of him. Buffy delivers the stake to the heart, and he dissolves into dust.
Faith, in the meantime, is having a bit of trouble with her vampire. He got up quickly, before she could get to him, so she punched him, but it only rocked him back. He punched her, and she went down on her butt. She was up quickly, but the large vampire was on her, and she had to bend over and let him go over her shoulder, using his weight against him. He's on his back, and she's about to deliver the killing blow, but he grabs her hand and through sheer strength manages to flip her over himself. Faith does a barrel roll in the air, and lands on her feet, crouching. She up in a flash, stake up, The vampire is on her quickly though, and grabs her stake hand. He twists it around… and pushes it back towards her. She fights him, but he manages to push the stake in her gut. Faith screams out.
" BUFFEE!" She screams, and backs off…seeing the stake sticking out of her abdomen. She pulls it out, but the pain is enormous… and the vamp is coming for her.Buffy, hearing Faith, sees her backing off… wounded. She sees red. Not even thinking, she rushes as fast as she can over to the vamp, jumping on his back. She starts to beat him around his head.
" You leave her alone… you bastard!" She cries, hitting him around the head, boxing his ears.
The vamp roars out, and flings her off his back. She does an aerial somersault, and lands on her feet. She charges the vampire, who's turned to face his attacker. She rushes at him, not thinking. She does a front kick, but he grabs her leg and shoves her back… she lands on her butt. He's on top of her, and is bending over, for the kill…. When he dissolves into dust. Behind him, Faith appears, holding a stake. She kinda half grins… then falls over, wounded.
" Faith!" Buffy cries out, going to the wounded girl. She turns her over, and sees the blood on her blouse. She blanches, but then rips the blouse open, and sees the stake wound. " Oh, god, Faith… you're hurt!"
" Nothin' gets by you, does it blondie?" Faith quips, gasping. She puts her hand on the wound to staunch the bleeding. " Not lookin' so good now" She pales, the pain enormous. " Help me up". She tries to stand, but her legs won't cooperate. " Hmmm… not good, that." She sits down hard on her butt.
" I gotta get you to the hospital" Buffy says, a little panicky. She's scared… another first. Faith wounded. This wasn't in the training!
" No… no hospitals, thanks. I'm ok, just help me get home!" Faith says. Last time she was in a hospital, she didn't wake up for 3 months. Not wanting to relive that experience.
" This looks bad, Faith!" Buffy says," you gotta go to the hospital!"
" And tell them what? Got staked killing vamps? So not in the mood for a lecture on running around with pointy sticks and all" Faith says.
" Stop kidding around. This is serious!" Buffy says, angrily.
"I'll be fine… slayer healing…remember? Just… get … me home" Faith says. She's starting to get dizzy.
Buffy tries to help her to her feet, but Faith can't stand up well. She then puts Faith's arm around her shoulder, and putting her arm carefully around Faith's waist, she starts to half walk, half carry her. But Faith's feet keep tripping and sliding out from under her. Finally, Buffy just picks her up, and carries her in her arms.
Despite her misgivings, Buffy starts towards home. It's closer, and she wants to get Faith safe as quickly as possible. I can call an ambulance from there, if I need to. Still upset, and panicking a little, Buffy speeds up, until she's almost running. Her heart is beating a lot faster than the exertion she's putting out would warrant. She's frightened. God, no! Please! She's gotta be ok. I love her, you can't… you can't take her from me. Not now!
Carrying Faith, Buffy runs towards home as fast as she can.
" Dawn? Dawn! Where is she? DAAAWWWN!!!" Buffy calls out as she enters the house, " DAWN!"
"Geeze, Buffy. God, don't have a cow!" Dawn says, descending the stairs " I'm coming…. Faith! What's wrong with her?" She says as Buffy carries Faith to the couch, " God, Buffy what happened?" Dawn rushes over to the couch.
" She's hurt, Dawn . We fought some vampires and she got hurt!" Buffy says, feeling some guilt. If I hadn't been along, she never would've gotten hurt! ." I wanted to take her to the hospital , but she wouldn't let me. We gotta do something … Dawn…where's the med kit? Get me the med kit!"
" Buffy, maybe we should…" Dawn starts, but Buffy interrupts her.
" Dawn… GO!" Buffy says. She throws her sister a look saying Don't even argue with me now!
Dawn , feeling the force of the look, retreats upstairs to get the med kit. Buffy walks over to the phone. She looks at the handmade numbers list by the phone, finds the number she wants, and dials it.
The line rings, and Buffy is antsy, waiting for an answer. C'mon, c'mon. Answer the phone! Be there. Please, please answer! Finally the phone is picked up on the other end.
" Hello?" Tara says sleepily. She'd just dropped off to sleep, and was a little sluggish.
" Tara? TARA! Thank god you're there!" Buffy exclaims, " Please, I need you're help!"
" Buffy? What is it?" Tara asks, " What's wrong?"
" It's Faith. She's been hurt. She's being stubborn, and won't let me take her to the hospital. Please, I need help. Can you come?".
"Sure, of course" Tara says, trying to calm Buffy down." Don't worry, Buffy. Faith's pretty strong. I'm sure she'll be ok. I'll get some healing herbs and stuff, and come right over!"
" Thanks… thanks…hurry, please?" Buffy says, anxiously, "Please?".
" I'll be there as quickly as possible. Don't worry, Buffy" Tara says, and hangs up.
" Dawn? Where's that med kit?" Buffy calls out, hanging up the phone. She hears a chuckle, followed by a cough.
"Faith?" Buffy says, running to the couch. She leans over Faith, looking down, worried. Faith is looking at her, eyes half open, a half smirk on her face.
"Oooo, Action Girl! So forceful and commanding. I… like!" Faith says, a little weakly. Buffy looks at her, wanting to slap her and kiss her at the same time.
" Stop it, Faith. You're hurt!" Buffy says, concern coming out as anger, " Stop kidding around. This is serious!"
Dawn rushes into the room, carrying the med kit. Buffy grabs it from her, and takes it to the couch. Dawn follows her.
Buffy rummages through the kit, looking for antiseptic and bandages. She turns to Dawn.
" Dawn, take off Faith's blouse. We gotta have access to the wound, " Buffy says, taking charge.
" Buffy!" Dawn says, a little embarrassed. She blushes.
"Dawn… this is no time for modesty. Just do it!" Buffy says, turning back to the kit.
Dawn goes to Faith, and starts to fumble with the buttons. She's nervous, worried about Faith, but also her own feelings are all jumbled up.
Faith, seeing that Dawn's nervous, realizing why, smiles at her. " Dawnie, honey, don't worry. Nothing there you haven't seen before, " She quips, trying to make Dawn laugh. It fails, but Dawn does calm a little. Faith helps her, arching her back so Dawn can slip the blouse off. Dawn blushes a little, but averts her eyes and concentrates on the wound.
Dawn blanches a little. It's bloody, and angry and red. But you can see the slayer healing already kicking in. The bleeding has stopped, and the wound appears to be closing. Still, Dawn is a little sick, realizing how much it must hurt.Buffy comes over, and looks at the wound. Her stomach does a back flip, but she keeps her face neutral… she doesn't want to scare Dawn or Faith.
" Dawn, honey, get some warm water and a cloth please, so I can clean the wound…ok?" Buffy says, her tone gentler than before. She can see by Dawn's expression she's scared, and near freaking." Don't worry, Dawn, it looks worse than it is ," Buffy lies. Dawn goes for the water and cloth.
"That was good, Buffy" Faith says, smiling, " Dawn was getting a lil green. "
"Shhh… don't talk, you're hurt. I got Tara comin' to help" Buffy says, concern written all over her face.
" Pfffft. This? God, I've had worse than this" Faith says, trying to allay Buffy's fears… and boasting just a little bit, " One time, I was fighting some big daddy vamp in the Midwest, and the dude kept alligators. I had to wrestle one to get to the vamp… and the sucker musta been a little hungry, cause he took a nip at me… still got the scar on my calf", Faith chuckles at the memory.
"Faith, stop, please!" Buffy says, her anxiety making her short, " you're really hurt! You coulda been killed!" Buffy gets up, pacing, " What would I do then?"
" But I didn't get killed, Buffy. That's the point, " Faith says, trying to ease Buffy a little, " We aren't exactly accountants Buffy. Our work is dangerous. We fight, we win, and sometimes we get hurt. It's part of the job."
Buffy is about to reply, when Dawn returns with the basin of water and towels. She bites back her words, and takes a towel. Soaking it, she goes to Faith and starts to clean the wound. Though she's healing fairly quickly, Faith winces a little. It still hurts like a … well, really, really bad. Buffy is as gentle as she can be, but it still hurts somewhat. She gets up , rinses the towel, and seeing the blood in the water, kinda feels woozy. Not now, Buffy, don't go fainting now! She takes another towel, and starts to daub at Faith's wound and the surrounding area, drying it.
There's a knock at the door, and Buffy turns to Dawn.
" Dawn, get the door please, that's probably Tara now." She turns to the med kit, to get the antiseptic.
Dawn puts down the basin, and answers the door. Tara is standing there, looking concerned.
" Hi, Dawnie, " Tara says, coming in the door. " How's Faith?".
Dawn doesn't say anything, her expression saying it all. She's clearly worried and upset. Tara understands, and puts an arm around her, leading her back into the living room.
" Don't worry, sweetie, " Tara say, calmly, " I'm sure she's gonna be ok. Faith's a tough girl, she can take a lot" She smiles at Dawn, and Dawn smiles back, feeling better now that Tara's here.
" Tara! I'm glad you're here!" Buffy cries out. She looks behind her. " Where's Willow? Isn't she here?"
" I … I didn't wake her, Buffy. She's kinda been having trouble sleeping, lately. First night she's slept decently, " Tara says, a tiny bit of concern seeping through, " Anyway, thought I could handle this ok."
"I'm glad you're here!" Buffy says.
" Heya, Tara, " Faith calls out, " how's tricks?" she quips.
Tara just gives her a half smile. That's Faith for you. She could be on her deathbed, and be making jokes about it. She walks over to Faith, looking at the wound. She pales a little. She's not used to looking at wounds. She kneels by Faith, and gets something out of her purse.
Buffy in the meantime is liberally applying antiseptic to Faith's wound. As she daubs it on, Faith is hissing a little.
" Hey, watch it blondie. That stuff really stings!" Faith says, through gritted teeth.
"Quiet, you big baby, " Buffy scolds her, " it's not that bad!"
"Yeah, well, you get cut, and we'll see, ok?" Faith growls.
" Buffy, let me put this on. It'll ease the pain, and help the healing" Tara says. She starts to apply some greenish colored salve to the wound. Faith sighs, as it feels better. She looks down, one eyebrow arched.
" Hey…Tara… that stuff isn't gonna like… turn me into a frog or nothin', is it?" Faith says, " I mean… I'm already a horny toad, don't need the upgrade" She chuckles. Everybody but Faith kinda blush at her remark, "Now, now, ladies. Minds out of the gutter" She quips.
"Tara, you got anything in that bag to make Faith start acting seriously?" Buffy says, irritated, " She's been doing this ever since we got home!". Buffy starts to bandage Faith's wound.
" That's just Faith, Buffy" Tara says, " She always jokes when she's hurt. She's so worried everybody else is going to be worried, she tries to just slough it off." Tara grins, " though, it's a good sign when the jokes start getting a little racy. Means she's feeling better".
"Well, yeah, " Faith says, mockingly, " but did you have to tell them that? I was gonna goof off from work a couple of days, have 'em wait on me hand and foot here!"
" You're so not going to work injured, you can bet on that, girl" Buffy says, adamantly. " But the hand and foot thing? Don't get you're hopes up!". She finishes putting on the bandages.
"You're such a meanie!" Faith complains. She turns to Tara, and winks, "she's sooo bossy. I love it". She sniffs the air, and wrinkles her nose, " What is that stuff, Tara? It stinks!"
" Just some healing herbs and garlic and a few other things, " Tara doesn't want to elaborate.
"Well, swell. You just put a big damper on my sex life, let me tell you!" Faith says. Again, the other women in the room blush. She goes on, " Yeah, I know… what sex life? God , a nun aint so celibate as I've been lately!" Faith looks pointedly at Buffy, who turns about 6 shades of red.
"Faith! Dawn! Little ears, you know?" Buffy says, going over to Dawn and putting her hands over her ears. Dawn gives her a look something a cross between irritation and what the hell are you doing?
"Oh, c'mon Buff, " Faith says, " Dawn's fifteen. She's probably heard lots worse than that, for Christ's sake!"
Dawn mumbles something under her breath.
"What? What?" Buffy says, not hearing her.
" I said," Dawn replies, " I've said a lot worse than that!"
"Dawn!?!?" Buffy says, a little shocked.
" Oh, stop being such a prude, Buffy!" Dawn says. She gets an evil look in her eye, and turns to her sister, " Sex, sex, sex!" she says, to Buffy's apparent horror. Faith, hearing the exchange, starts to chuckle. Buffy puts her hands over her ears, and moves away. Dawn, encourage, follows her.
"Sex, Buffy, sex, sex, sex! " Dawn says, torturing her, " what's the matter, Buffy? Don't you ever get …" She pauses for effect, " … horny?"
"DAWN SUMMERS!" Buffy shouts, " You stop that!" But Buffy is blushing a deep red.
Faith is laughing now, and groaning, because laughing hurts. But she can't help it. She starts to needle Buffy, too.
" God, I'm surprised at you, Buffy!" Faith says, laughing and groaning, " I mean, c'mon, you were just slaying. You know slaying makes ya hungry and horny, don't ya?"
Buffy blushes some more, and turns to Tara for support.
" You see what I gotta put up with?" She whines, " they're incorrigible…or something".
But Tara is just smiling. She's loving the obvious familiarity these three are showing. They're acting like a family. She'd been a little worried that things would be weird around here, but obviously that wasn't the case. She thinks about her own situation, and her smile slips a little. I wish Willow would start acting like herself again. She's been so depressed, lately. She's going around, acting like a whipped puppy. I just wish I knew what's eating her. Tara decides that Faith is going to be ok, and it's time she went home. She goes over to Buffy, and hands her the jar with the salve in it.
" I think she'll be ok now, Buffy" Tara says. Buffy just sighs, but nods. Tara continues, " I'm leaving you some of the salve, in case her wound gets infected. But I don't think it will."
" That's right, Tara!" Faith calls out from the couch, " leave some more of that smelly goop you put on me! No more lovin' for ole Stinky Faith… of course, not like I was getting any anyway!" Buffy and Dawn both blush, then roll their eyes. Faith just chuckles from her couch.
" Goodnight, Faith" Tara says, a little sternly… teasing her just a little. She turns to Buffy, " If you need anymore help, just call me, ok?"
" Do you have to go?" Buffy asks
" Yeah, better get back. Hate for Willow to wake up and see me gone." Tara starts to turn away, but Buffy catches her arm.
" Are you ok, Tara?" Buffy asks, solicitously, " You seem kinda … distracted."
" Yeah, I'm ok, Buffy, " Tara replies, " But… well, I'm kind of worried about Willow."
"What's wrong, Tara?" Buffy asks, feeling a little concerned.
" Not now, Buffy" Tara says, " Maybe we can talk… in the next day or so?" She asks.
"Sure, anytime. Just call me, 'k?" Buffy says. Tara nods. Buffy, on impulse, hugs her and kisses her cheek. Tara smiles.
"Well, goodnight, Buffy, Dawn." Tara says. She notices Dawn standing by herself, a strange look on her face, " Hey, Dawnie? Walk me out?" Dawn nods, and they leave the living room.
Buffy walks over to Faith, turns and starts to pack up the med kit. She slips the jar of salve Tara left into the kit. She finishes, and turns to Faith.
"Well, we better get you upstairs." She leans over, as if to pick up Faith, but Faith waves her off. She gets up slowly, wincing form the wound. She stands, but is still a little wobbly on her feet. Buffy comes over to assist.
" Here, stupid. Let me help," Buffy says, putting Faith's arm on her shoulder, and her own arm around Faith's waist. She is more than aware of Faith's half naked condition, and how warm Faith feels in her arms. Buffy feels her heart start to beat faster. God, Buffy… get a grip. She's hurt! " C'mon, Faith, lets get you to bed." Buffy says, helping her to walk towards the stairs.
" Ummm… well… you're bed or mine?" Faith says, flirting madly. I can deny it in the morning, say it was fever talking.
Buffy just gives her a hard stare. They start up the stairs, and Faith gets another one in.
" Well, ya know I'm gonna need help undressing…" Faith grins. Buffy blushes
" Yeah, right." Buffy says, tartly, " Just knock it off, ok?"
" Do you really want me to quit?" Faith says, half-joking.
Buffy just gives her a disgusted look. They continue up the stairs
But in her head, it's a whole different story.
Never! Don't ever quit!
" You ok, Dawnie?" Tara asks, on the porch. She knows that what happened in there must've been hard for Dawn.
"Yeah, I'm fine, " Dawn says… then confesses, " No, I'm not fine, but I'll deal, ok?"
Tara walks over to Dawn and hugs her. Dawn hugs her back, almost clinging to her.
"You're really brave, Dawn. I know it hurts, honey. But… I really admire you, you know that?" Tara says." You're doing the right thing."
"Yeah, well, if it's so right, " Dawn complains, " why does it hurt so bad?".
Tara doesn't answer, she just keeps hugging Dawn. Dawn finally breaks away.
" This love stuff sucks, " Dawn says, a little sulkily, " I wish… I hope I never fall for anyone again!"
" Dawn, honey, " Tara says, taking Dawn's hand, " I know it really hurts right now, and it seems so unfair. But someday you're gonna meet the right person, and you'll be so glad that you found them, and then you'll see love isn't sucky at all". Tara smiles at her.
" Like you and Willow?" Dawn says, hopefully. She thinks Tara and Willow have the neatest love going.
" Yeah, honey, " Tara says, not letting any of her sadness leak out, " Like me and Willow."
Dawn goes to Tara, and hugs her again, hard.
" I love you , Tara, you know that, right?" Dawn says.
"Yes honey, I know that" Tara says, smiling a big genuine smile. " I better go now, before Willow wakes up and is worried about me" Tara says, gently disengaging from Dawn. " Goodnight honey" She says quietly.
" Goodnight, Tara, " Dawn says.
Dawn watches as Tara walks away. There is definitely a frowny, sulky expression on her face. She sighs, then, making her best effort, she puts on the best happy face she can.
She walks back inside the house.
It's 4 am at the Revello drive house.
Faith is wakened suddenly by a sharp pain from her wound.
Damn, that really is hurting! I better get up and check it out. She starts to move, then realizes something… there's an arm draped over her. She carefully turns in the bed, and sees someone sleeping next to her, on top of the covers.
It's Buffy. Her heart almost stops in her chest.
When did she get here? Faith wonders to herself. What the hell is she doing here? She suddenly feels the blonde slayer move a little in the bed, and all of a sudden she's pressed up next to Faith. Faith freezes, not wanting to move and spoil the moment.
She suddenly doesn't care how Buffy got here. She's just enjoying the feel of Buffy lying next to her again. She can't help it… she adores this woman, even if she's not the same woman. She feels…so right, next to Buffy. She feels…so much better with Buffy next to her. This is wrong! It's so, so wrong! But I don't care!
Faith snuggles deeper into the covers, and slowly drifts off to sleep.
To be continued.