Disclaimer: If I must...
I make no claim upon anything HP related.
Fat Friar:
Dear beloved. We are here gathered to officialize the union between Draco Lucius Malfoy and Harry James Potter.
Harry and Draco lock gazes and smile foolishly.
Ff:
These two kindred souls have gone through hardship and joy together, never their love wavered. It is with much pleasure that I, in the name of everything that's sacred, bound their souls together for all eternity. Harry, enlighten Draco of your intentions for this ceremony.
Harry: (blushing and sttutering)
Oh...well... Draco. It was hard for me to create a speech, because I think our actions say more than a thousand words...
Sirius Black, interrupting:
Har, har, har, I bet they do! (cheeky wink)
Remus Lupin:
(smacks Black on the back of his head)
Harry: (blushing harder)
What I meant was our bond has been tightened throughout the years and all the challenges we faced side by side, and if anyone still doesn't know that I'd gladly die if you just asked me to, or paint the sky red, or live on a hunger strike, or even shut up, now, (more blushing) they will all know now, because I'm saying it out loud, and will soon become Harry Potter-Malfoy, despite my rebellious godfather's protests.
(Amazingly, the aforementioned godfather was too emotional to argue.)
Draco Malfoy, soon to be Draco Malfoy-Potter:
Touching words Harry, but my speech will be much simpler and I hope you don't mind. I'm glad you're glad to die for me if I request, but that would spoil the purpose of things here, so chill. You have always been a stupid heart-on-the-sleeve-wearer, and if you had shortened your speech a little, we could all be out of here sooner, to get to the Point. I don't care about everything that's been, I don't want to remember most of it, and you know I'm just standing here in front of a million Gryffindors in an old church on a winter's day, listening to your ramblings...
(Harry wore a hurt expression. Everyone started whispering and shooting Draco killer looks, is this snake going to ditch him right here...)
Draco Malfoy:
...because I love you.
(Chapel silent as tomb. Last three uttered words never been heard from Malfoy's mouth before, for being the ultimate sign of weakness in an already troubled world.)
Draco Malfoy:
That is absolutely all that matters in the entire existence. Not this stupid ceremony, not the stupid war, not the stupid Malfoys, not my fucking life. Shockingly as it is, not even your magnificent godfather. All everything is made of is you and your bloody stupid self. And that is why I hate you. You have just made me confess it in front of a bawling crowd, just by existing so resplandescent in front of me. So I suppose this grants me a reward. C'mon, we've got more pressing matters to tend to.
(Harry Potter, seemingly too excited to wait to get somewhere more private, grabbed his not-yet-husband and kissed him quite thoroughly. The congregation was either crying or staring agape. And staring agape a bit more. And a bit more, perhaps.)
Sirius Black, breaking the trance:
This would be even better than "The Wild Dance Of The Crazy Blondes" if that weren't my baby.
Fat Friar:
Hem hem... well, we... I... taking that, erm, display of affection as a yes, I declare you now husband and, hum, husband.
(Everyone clapped and cheered and wept, and Sirius attacked Remus, obviously keyed up by the earlier demonstration by Harry and Draco. Before the newlyweds lived happily ever after, they had to close the chapel with their hormone-driven guests "at it" under a bench, and to endure fifteen minutes of back-patting and a cheesy speech by the best man Weasley, before they decided to stand it no longer and go make their own party at the back garden.)
This is just some one-shot silly rambling, but if you're kind enough to give me a review...