Thoughts of the Past

By YoukaiTajaiyaSango

Summary: This is my first one-shot song fic that I came up with. My friend helped. She just happened to be talking about Kikyou and Inuyasha so this is a story that is in Kikyou's point of view. I think this is during the period of when she died, mulling over thoughts. The song, by the way, is "White Flag" by Dido.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the song that I'm using. Wish I did though. If I DID, then why would I be writing THIS?

Darn! This... death. It keeps me away from Inuyasha, that traitor. I thought that he would be different from all the other demons and hanyou. I guess not. Why would he, the corrupted youkai.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you

Or tell you that

But if I didn't say it

Would I still have felt it

Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I told him my feelings. I gave him my trust—and my heart. He broke it. I still can't believe it. I just can't. Why would he betray me so?

But I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I died. I went away and pinned him to that tree by the clearing. I left my village; the Sacred Jewel is with me in this realm. It's odd, really, how they burned it with my body. But now, my village, the pestering of demons will not bother you as much as when the jewel was alive.

I know I left too much mess

And destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules it's over

Then I'm sure that makes sense.

Inuyasha... Even though you betrayed me, I feel lust in my heart through all the hatred. You didn't seem right that fateful day. You did not. You had a fake aura and I was too foolish to sense that. Well, of course I sensed it, I just paid no mind to it. Then, you sneaked up on me and slashed my right shoulder. As I reached for the jewel, you crushed my hand, and my heart. Those words you said, those harsh, cold words of pure malice sunk in after moments of silence. You betrayed me, yet I still have feelings for you. I'm still infatuated.

But I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I'm still in love with you, Inuyasha. I still long for your lips. I want to change your hard, cold stare and help you trust me. I want to be there with you, grow old with you. Not a priestess, but a normal woman. I want to be alive again so I can hug you, kiss you. I want you to be with me and care for me as I do you.