Dear Catherine,

I'm sorry about the owl. Perhaps I should've warned you. But what's done is done, I suppose. Harry's got a beautiful owl, named Hedwig. Ron's got one that looks like a ping-pong ball, named Pig. Don't ask. Ron has a very sick sense of humor. And he's not always a prat. For instance, he always...well, he's a nice boy. Humble? Erm. Well, anyway. Ginny is his younger sister; we've become quite close over the past few years. I feel bad for the girl, having six older brothers. I thought being an only child was bad, but having to put up with belching, farting and sick boy-y jokes all the time? Not to mention her twin older brothers, Fred and George. I'm shocked those two haven't blown the Weasley home to smithereens. Percy is the only one fit for company, and he's a pompous ass! (There was a bit of a fall out between Percy and Mr. Weasley, involving Percy's inability to think for himself.)

We had our first double DADA with Slytherins today. I just don't understand these boys. They are completely incapable of keeping their mouths closed around her. And I don't mean talking. I over heard Seamus say something very improper about his next visit to the restroom. Wimblebop back flipped into the room and started the class with

"RAH RAH, D-A-D-A!

WE'RE LEARNING TO DEFEAT THE DARK LORD TODAY!

SO OPEN YOUR BOOKS

AND BOYS WHY ALL THE FUNNY LOOKS?"

She is an airhead. In the truest sense of the word. The DADA teachers are all disapointing here. First year, it was some nervous wreck possessed by Voldemort. Second year we had a wonderful teacher, but both Ron and Harry insist he was a prissy fraud. Third year we had a good teacher, but he was a werewolf and so he sort of got canned. Fourth year was a psychotic Death Eater disguised as a paranoid auror. And fifth year...oh don't get me started on that wretched Umbridge woman.

And this year seems to be another flop. She has no idea what she is going on about, and only used have the double period, and the other half teaching Lavender and Pavarti and a few other silly girls how to do splits.

Malfoy showed up in the Great Hall today, flanked by his shrinking entourage (as more and more Death Eaters are sent to Azakaban, many of the Slytherins are leaving the country.) He walked up to where Ron, Harry, Ginny and I were sitting and smirked. He's always smirking. If he's not smirking its because

a) Someone has recently punched him (Thank you, Thank you, hold your applause.)

b) He's recovering from being a bouncing ferret or

c) He gets a glimpse into just how pathetic and worthless he really is.

Anyway, he smirked at us. And then he looked me in the eye and mouthed something...I swear it looked like he said "Nice house." But perhaps he said "Nice mouse." Neither makes much sense. But he's the prattiest prat in the world.

Ron jumped out of his seat and yelled "WHAT DID YOU SAY MALFOY?"

"I said," Malfoy responded coolly, raising his eyebrows, "That your mother is fat!"

Ron looked like he might kill someone, and Harry grabbed his arms and pulled him back on the bench. I sat on his stomach and Ginny sat on his feet, though she looked like she would've preferred to let Ron do his worst.

Professor Snape came running over to the table "What is the meaning of this? Potter? Granger? Weasley...s?"

Wimblebop somersaulted between us and Snape and clapped her hands.

"READY? GO!

NOTHINGS WRONG, PROFESSOR SNAPE!

THEY'RE JUST TRYING, TO MAKE HIM WAKE!

AND FOR THAT NOBLE AIM

I MUST PROCLAIM

POINTS ARE DUE,

FROM ME TO YOU!

GIMME AN F!

GIMME AN I!

GIMME A V-E!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" and five rubies clinked into our hourglass.

And with that she danced around in a little circle and did a high kick. Snape looked as if he were going to be ill. The funniest thing, as she sashayed off, I think she winked at us.

Well, I must go, there is a Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff match out on the pitch, and I love to cheer for the Ravenclaws. Sometimes, I wonder why I wasn't placed in that house...

Love always,

Hermione.

Dear Hermione,

That new teacher sounds like a real treat. I hope you manage to learn something from her. I know how you feel about wasted class time.

I think Malfoy was just being a moron. It sounds like that's his only true talent. Unless he was making a vulgar comment using a ridiculous codeword.

Your parents came over for dinner last night. Apparently there was a break in at the office. Nothing was taken, it appears. They told me to tell you not to worry, they're insured, and they're having a state of the art alarm system installed.

Your owl was a bit out of sorts when it arrived. It seemed frightened, and its feathers were mussed. My mum says that perhaps it has something to do with hawks. There's been a great many of them about lately. I gave him a nice warm bath and some chocolate cake. I don't know if owls eat chocolate cake, but he seemed to appreciate it.

Marsha Herndale was caught in the broom closet with Mark Maloney. They've been expelled for two whole weeks. It sounds like a lot more than snogging was going down, and it wasn't anything to do with Sociology notes, which was Marsha's excuse. Even though Mark doesn't take Sociology. Who knows what goes on in that girls head sometimes?

I saw our favorite bible thumper on the street corner today. He's rather pompous for a man of god. And he needs a haircut.

I'll just have to trust you on that whole "Ron isn't a prat thing."

Tell Ginny I feel her pain. Remember that summer I spent with Auntie Louisa in France? She had twelve sons. It was torture, pure and simple.

They didn't even have any cute friends.

Love from above,

Catherine.