Explanations and Understanding

She knew she was in for it even before the Elders' messenger sought her out. As she watched the Sarmatian's retreating figure in the distance, she sighed heavily, preparing herself for what was surely to come next. Turning from Luguvallium, she whistled lightly and waited as her horse cantered lightly to where she stood. Mounting him, she headed deep into the thick of the forest, and was shortly met by Llyd.

"Nimue," he greeted her with a nod. "The Elders wish to speak with you."

"I expected as much," she replied, slightly surprised to see that Merlin had sent his top lieutenant.

They made the rest of the trip in silence, Llyd allowing her time to think through what she wished to say in her defense. When they had reached the clearing where the Woads of the area resided, Nimue dismounted, turned over her horse, and began her short but solitary walk to where the five Elders sat by the fire, waiting for her.

"Nimue," Merlin greeted her, motioning for her to take a seat.

She remained standing instead and said nothing, her chin tilted up slightly in defiance, as she waited for him to continue. When he did not, the man next to him, Galapas, cleared his throat.

"You must know why we have called you here," he began slowly.

"I have some idea," Nimue shot back coolly.

"You stopped an attack on the Sarmatian, you have allowed our enemy to live."

"That depends on your definition of enemy."

Galapas appeared taken aback. "You would consider the knights our allies then?"

"That is not what I said," she began to clarify. "Rome is my enemy…"

"And the Sarmatians fight for Rome," he cut her off.

"Not by their own choice," she shot back just as fast. "The are bound to the empire, but that does not mean they believe in what they are forced to do. They are good men who long for freedom just as we do."

"Be that as it may," Galapas made to reprimand her again. "As long as they serve Rome, they are no friends of ours."

"Are you so blind," Nimue retorted in spite of his attempts to chasten her. "Rome is leaving this land. In two months the Sarmatians will be discharged and the empire will withdraw her presence here. Once again our country will be free for the taking. In the north the Saxons grow in number everyday under the command of Cerdic. To the east the Angles lie and to the west are the Celts. With the Romans gone what is to stop any of them from trying to claim Britain for their own? For we certainly do not have the manpower to take up a new war when we have fought so long in this one."

"That is a matter of opinion, if we can maintain the Romans we can surely defend ourselves against those others."

"Maintained! We have maintained nothing! We no longer possess even half the land we once did. What you call maintaining, I call struggling to survive. With each battle our numbers dwindle, our forces grow smaller. But you refuse to see that as you sit here in the comfort of your circle. But I see it. I see it because I am out there fighting, I am out there watching my people die in a war they have no hope of winning. And it will only get worse. So whether you choose to see it or not, the day is coming when we may very well need the Sarmatians, and I will not burn my bridges without reason."

"That is not for you to decide," Galapas spat back, standing up in a rage.

"Well I already have. You have charged me with command of our forces and as such it is within my power to make decisions regarding when and where my warriors fight. If you do not like it, and you wish to name someone else in my stead, then so be it."

Galapas sucked in a breath, preparing to fire another comment when Merlin stood and rose a hand to silence him.

"That will not be necessary," he spoke calmly. "You have always served our people well and we are greatly indebted to you for it. As such, we will accept the explanation you have offered as to your actions. However, I ask that you not forget whom you serve Nimue. You may lead the people on the battlefield, but you ultimately answer to the us."

"Yes sir," Nimue answered slowly, attempting to mask just how badly his words had stung her. With a stiff nod, she turned and left the Elders.

Thrashing through the small Woad settlement, Nimue stomped angrily out of the clearing and into the surrounding trees. Cursing under her breath, she was not aware that someone was following her as she continued plodding along. As she went, she was greeted by those she passed, but she did not acknowledge them nor stop until she reached her destination, a small clearing near a mile and a half away from the settlement.

Throwing herself dejectedly on top of a large rock, Nimue grabbed a small stone lying on the ground and hurled it at the nearby stream with all her might. She watched indifferently as it skipped across the surface a few times before sinking to the bottom. By now she was beginning to cool down, and as her anger lessened she began to regain her typically astute senses.

"You can come out now," she spoke at last to the figure still hidden in the shadows of the trees.

Leaning on his walking stick, Merlin came forward at her words and took a seat beside her on the rock. Though she knew he was waiting for her to continue speaking, Nimue instead remained silent.

"Is it the Elders you are angry with, or me," the old man spoke at last.

"They are one in the same are they not?"

"You know what I mean Nimue," he answered firmly.

"Oh Father, I hope you did not come all this way to patronize me," she huffed in response.

"No, I came to tell you how proud I am of you. You spoke with courage and strength today to the other Elders and I. And more importantly, you spoke the truth."

"And yet you did not defend me."

"As you should know by now that I wouldn't. You must remember my dear, that though you are my daughter, I have a whole people to look after, and as a leader you must stand on your own two feet."

"You might have said something to quell Galapas."

"Did I not?"

Sighing, Nimue knew there was no use in arguing that point. "Still, if you say I speak the truth, then I would expect you to support it."

"And I do Nimue, but that does not mean that everyone shares our sentiment. Our people see the Sarmatians as their enemy, and until we can change that, we must tread lightly in our actions or else we risk division among ourselves. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she answered solemnly.

"Good, then come here," he said pulling her to him in a hug.

After a few moment's embrace, Merlin gave his daughter a kiss on her forehead, bid her goodbye, and retreated back into the shadow's leaving Nimue once again with her thoughts. She could see his point, but she could not quite stifle the harsh bitterness she felt over Galapas' treatment of her. Grabbing another stone, she skipped it across the stream just as she had with the first. She was not alone for long though, for shortly after Merlin left her, she heard a familiar set of footsteps approaching.

"You let the Sarmatian go," a voice full of disbelief and accusation spoke from behind her.

With a another heavy sigh, Nimue turned to confront her accuser. "What of it?"

"Father says the Romans have clouded your judgment and that you would join them and take all of Britain if you had the chance," Guinevere pressed on.

"You're father's an idiot."

Guinevere gasped. "My father is one of the Elders!"

"As is mine."

"And still you would dare speak of him like that?"

"I will speak however I want of whomever I please. Your father included," Nimue snarled back at the younger woman.
"Nimue he is your uncle!"

"What do I care," Nimue cried in a rage as she jumped from her place on the rock. "He has no love for me. He would see my death in an instant if it meant that his precious Guinevere would take my place!"

"You know that is not true."

"Of course it is!" Nimue's eyes blazed with fury at her cousin. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes in attempts to calm herself and turned away. "I am not having this conversation with you Guinevere. You are young, and your naivety and blind hatred are sickening. You are disillusioned with notions of a victory that is not coming. You would believe anything if only the Elders were to tell you it was true."

"Oh, and I suppose you would have me believe you instead," Guinevere cut her off.

"No! But I would at least give you both sides of the story and let you choose for yourself. You will not have the luxury of your youth and irresponsible ways forever. Soon you will be a leader among our people and you will have to make decisions on your own without having someone looking over your shoulder to tell you what to do. When you are right there will be glory, but when you are wrong you will have to offer explanations for your choice."

"As you have had to explain today," Guinevere asked, her voice now free of anger as she began to understand her cousin's words.

"Yes," Nimue answered solemnly.

This simple answer seemed to be enough for Guinevere as she fell quiet upon hearing it. For some time after that, the two women sat together in silence, each sifting through the turmoil of their own thoughts.

Author's Note: Just want to take a minute to say thanks to those of you who have reviewed so far. As writers yourselves I'm sure you know how inspiring they are and how much they help to keep a story going.

Blue Eyes At Night, kungfuchick, Blue Butterfly: Glad to know you all like it, hope I can live up to your expectations.

Sweet Saturn: I see your point about preferring the legend over the movie, I find the legend far more interesting myself. I chose the movie though because I don't think I could accomplish what I'm going for in the context of the legend. I find movie fandoms to be a little easier to write in because you have a little more creative liscense; book readers and reviewers tend to be a bit more strung out over sticking to cannon than movie. I just couldn't see this story fitting in with "Crystal Cave" or "The Once and Future King" so that's why I chose to write from the movie perspective. Hope you'll still enjoy!

Angie