Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N Grr! Hi everyone! Okay. . . well, thanks for all your exceptional reviews. You know they are much appreciated. The only thing is, I didnÕt get very many. So to all my faithful reviewers, maybe you guys have friends who read fan fiction and maybe you could get them to read it. I love reviews and you have no idea how much I appreciate them. Authors reading this probably sympathize.
Also, I apologize for all the symbols instead of apostrophes. It really pisses me off. Why does it want to do that to me?
Also really need a beta reader. Please e-mail me or drop a review if youÕre interested!
Okay, here it is. The much-anticipated chapter seven! LOL.
~Zsa Zsa
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~0~*Chapter Seven- Life Just AinÕt That Easy*~0~
~*~Life Just AinÕt That Easy~*~ YouÕve confused before
I couldnÕt take the hate anymore
And now you want me to believe you?
You tell me stories about yourself
Things you havenÕt told anyone else
And now you want me to forgive you?
What am I supposed to say?
How I am supposed to react?
You spring yourself on me
And expect me to forget everything
Life just ainÕt that easy
Work for the things you need
And then IÕll think about you and me
But until then, you got to know
Life just ainÕt that easy
You expect me throw my arms around you
Make me feel like I canÕt live without you
And honey, that isnÕt true
IÕve done some stupid things in the past
But I still want my life to last
And you think that you can save me
What am I supposed to say?
How I am supposed to react?
You spring yourself on me
And expect me to forget everything
Life just ainÕt that easy
Work for the things you need
And then IÕll think about you and me
But until then, you got to know
Life just ainÕt that easy
DonÕt act like everything is all right
DonÕt make it seem like we have no history
DonÕt say things that donÕt feel right
DonÕt act like the past is a mystery
What am I supposed to say?
How I am supposed to react?
You spring yourself on me
And expect me to forget everything
Life just ainÕt that easy
Work for the things you need
And then IÕll think about you and me
But until then, you got to know
Life just ainÕt that easy
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ÔHer eyes like glace break with tears. Her smile shatters when she thinks of him. Why does he have to make it so hard? Why is it him that sheÕll miss the most?Õ
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ÒDraco, stop.Ó Hermione gave him a very stern look. He shrunk back into his chair, a more pensive look on his face. She looked at him, her head cocked to the side, ÒDraco? Say something.Ó
ÒItÕs almost as if you donÕt want to be saved.Ó Draco mused, ÒLike you donÕt care if you live or die.Ó Hermione looked at him with wide eyes and then she slapped him.
ÒWhy the hell do you think a thing like that? You know that isnÕt true!Ó Hermione turned away from him, muttering something about the preposterousness of his predicament.
ÒWell, IÕm offering to save you.Ó
ÒWell, offering isnÕt really good enough. It has to be true love. ThereÕs no way you could ever feel true love for me. It just isnÕt possible. IÕm a mudblood, remember?Ó Hermione looked at him, her brown eyes piercing him. They were bigger then theyÕd ever been before. It was as if they were trying to search for signs of truth within him.
ÒCanÕt you give me a chance? You seem so keen on dying anyway, but whatÕs the hurt in trying? YouÕve lost all hope already.Ó
ÒExactly. I donÕt care anymore. I donÕt want to get my hopes up again!Ó She yelled. Draco was pacing now, but when she said again, he stopped.
ÒAgain?Ó
ÒYeah, again.Ó Hermione looked blankly at the wall opposite, ÒI had a boyfriend over the summer. I thought he might be able to save me, butÓ, she sighed deeply, ÒWhen I told him about. . . about my condition, he got this really guilty look on his face. I knew he didnÕt really feel anything for me.Ó
Draco looked at her, then he shook his head, ÒWhy canÕt you believe that I might be different?Ó
ÒBecause you never were before! You were always the same damn thing. Picture perfect image of what your stupid father wanted you to be.Ó Hermione looked at his face fall. She pursed her lips slightly, seeing that he was ashamed, ÒYou know what I have Draco.Ó
ÒYeah. But IÕm not my father. IÕm not what he wants me to be either.Ó Hermione shook her head and leapt towards him, ripping his shirtsleeve up. She saw the Dark Mark emblazoned on his pale arm. It stood out a mile.
Her eyes watered, ÒDraco, youÕre exactly what your father wanted you to be. I have thatÓ, she pointed to the tattoo, Òand RonÕs death to prove it.Ó Draco looked down, ashamed at his own stupidity.
ÒI know, Hermione. I know.Ó He looked at her, his grey eyes sad and empty, searching for acceptance within her, ÒBut I didnÕt know what to do. You didnÕt love me anymore. I couldnÕt help it.Ó He looked up, and saw HermioneÕs shocked expression.
ÒWhat makes you think I ever loved you?Ó She spat. Her eyes were flashing and she stared malevolently down at him from her crouched position.
ÒI donÕt know. Maybe you didnÕt. But you didnÕt want to love me. ThatÕs for sure. ThatÕs why you did what you did. ThatÕs why I did what I did. You ran from me, therefore I ran to the only place I could ever call home.Ó
ÒHome?Ó She looked at his sad eyes. ÒHome? You call that shit hole a home?Ó Draco looked up at her use of words, ÒYou know what? You know why I ran? You drove me away. You drove my car off the cliff. ThatÕs why IÕm dead inside, Draco.Ó Draco looked as if he might cry.
ÒOkay, IÕm going to let you cool off for a little while. Maybe Potter will visit you and you can let out your anger to him.Ó
ÒPathetic.Ó Hermione muttered. She watched the SlytherinÕs retreating back and smile sadly. ÔI could love you. Could you love me?Õ
She settled down into her pillow and closed her tired eyes. She groaned when she finally realized her wrists were throbbing. She opened her eyes again and saw the bandages. She swallowed and slowly unwound them.
ÒScary, isnÕt it?Ó Hermione jumped. Harry was standing in the doorway.
ÒWhat?Ó
ÒLooking death in the face.Ó
Hermione looked down at the red lines on her wrists, ÒYeah.Ó
ÒHow are you?Ó Harry came closer, sitting in the chair Draco had occupied moments earlier. She looked at his emerald eyes. They had lost their sparkle. She felt a tear threaten to escape her eye.
ÒNot good. You?Ó
ÒSame.Ó He whispered. Harry looked at his hands, ÒI miss him.Ó Hermione finally let the tear go. She pulled the covers open and tugged at HarryÕs robes. He saw the empty space beside Hermione and climbed in. He put his arm around her and heard her cry softly into his shoulder.
ÒHarry?Ó Hermione finally asked as she pulled up ten minutes later.
ÒYeah.Ó
ÒI miss you too.Ó
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Hermione was well enough
to walk the halls now. She tried to ignore the stares she got. She tried to
ignore the whispers behind her.
ÒHermione?Ó Harry came up behind her. She looked into his eyes, seeing them empty like that made her sad. She looked back towards the floor. ÒI was just wondering what you meant when you said ÔI miss you tooÕ. IÕm here.Ó
Hermione stopped and Harry looked inquisitively at her. Her eyes darted around for a few moments before she said, ÒLet me rephrase then, ÔIÕll miss you too.Õ Will you miss me?Ó HarryÕs eyes widened in confusion.
Hermione smiled slightly, and then it faded as quickly and as discreetly as it had come. She stood on the balls of her feet and gave Harry a peck on the cheek. She leant in and whispered in his ear, ÒIÕm dying.Ó
She began to walk away, but felt a rough tug on her arm.
ÒWhat?Ó HarryÕs face was chalk white. He let go of HermioneÕs arm and looked at her as if she were about to break. He stood like that for a while, and then he walked over to the wall and slid down it. He put his head in his hands.
ÒItÕs not so bad, Harry. We werenÕt talking before anyway.Ó Hermione whispered, sliding next to him, but Harry wasnÕt listening to her.
ÒSo thatÕs why youÕve been so depressed lately. God, IÕm such an idiot.Ó He looked over at her, her eyes had lost their sparkle just as his own had.
ÒWeÕre all dying in this world.Ó Hermione whispered as she leaned her head on HarryÕs shoulder.
ÒYeah.Ó
They sat like that for hours, just content with hearing the beat of each otherÕs hearts.
ÒHermione?Ó Harry finally said, ÒWhatÕs . . . what exactly is wrong with you.Ó He looked at her and put his arm around her, maneuvering her so her head lay on his lap. She sighed heavily and laughed.
ÒIs it really important?Ó
ÒOf course it is.Ó
She sighed again and sat up, ÒOkay, itÕs called Pelformatae Telmingo. It usually isnÕt terminal because to be saved you have to have true love. Most people tend to. Us unlucky people just end up in a coffin.Ó
Harry smiled, ÒAre you sure you havenÕt true love? Does true friend love count?Ó
Hermione giggled, ÒSadly, no. I wish it did though. I know IÕd be saved in an instant.Ó
ÒDefinitely.Ó
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Draco wondered through the halls on his own for a few days after Hermione had told him about her condition. He also went to the library to find out as many things about the disease as he could.
He walked into the library solemnly, and as quietly as possible. Nobody noticed him come in. The silence of the library engulfed him and his senses became incredibly alert. He began to hear everything going on in the room, the people sniffing, coughing. He thought heÕd even heard someone swallow. He saw everything, people turning pages, crossing and uncrossing their legs. He felt everything, how the impact of HermioneÕs untimely news affected him.
He walked to the medical part of the library and slid down the wall. At that moment in time, both Draco and Hermione were in the same position. Both were up against the wall, thinking about the person they would miss the most once Hermione left.
Hermione didnÕt know why she would miss Draco so much. He wasnÕt nice for so long. HeÕd hurt her, and though heÕd never really been her enemy as much as HarryÕs, sheÕd always disliked him tremendously.
Draco shook his head, asking himself why heÕd taken so long to put his life into perspective. He questioned everything his father had ever told him about muggleborns being different. Why had he let himself believe that bullshit? He wasnÕt an idiot.
He slowly brought himself to stand up. He looked through the bookshelf to find the book heÕd been looking for. He found it and opened it to the index. He traced his long finger down the page. HeÕd found it: Pelformatae Telmingo.
Pelformatae Telmingo is a form of cancer. It affects the heart in a most peculiar way. If one isnÕt in love, the heart shuts down. Most people who are victims of this disease are those who have never believed in love with all their heart. If one does have the disease and they are in love, a complicated charm and potion can be made and it will save the victim.
The potionÕs ingredients include two hairs from the victim and one from their lover. Along with other ingredients, the potion has an 30% success rate. It is only full proof when it also includes a hair from their childÕs head. The disease often affects younger people, therefore the decision to have a child isnÕt always the best one.
The charm is also another way of saving the victim. Their true love must utter the words and if their love isnÕt true, the victim will die on the spot. One must be sure of the lovers dedication to the victim.
Draco closed the book and gulped. So thatÕs why she was so unwelcoming to the idea of being saved. If he was just forcing himself to love her to save her, then sheÕs die faster. If they tried the potion, thereÕs no way one would know if it would work. The chances were pretty unlikely, so theyÕd have to get pregnant. He sighed.
HeÕd have to go see Hermione.
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After Harry had left her to go to class, she had free time since she was still on sick leave. She wandered the grounds, exploring places sheÕd never been able to before. She went into the forest a little ways, admiring the wild and coarse plant life growing there, free and intertwining.
She sat down on the ground at the edge of the forest, leaning against a big tree. She sighed and took out her book of poetry from her bag. She opened it, flipping to a new page. She took her quill and ink bottle out and began to write.
I havenÕt see him for daysBut I know heÕs here
Lingering in my mind
Steadfast in my heart
He brings me happiness
And so much sadness
How can he be so different
In so many ways
And yet be the same?
I miss him when heÕs gone
And I donÕt even know why
If I could kiss him right now
Maybe he could leave
And I wouldnÕt be missing him for eternity
Because I would still taste him on my lips
ItÕs funny how so much can change
How everything youÕve ever known
Disappears, never to be revisited
Hermione closed her book and looked up. Just that second, she saw Draco come out of the castle. He looked around for a second, and then spotted her. He walked towards her, and as he did so, she could feel her heart sinking into her stomach. What could she say?
ÒHermione!Ó Draco sat down across from her. He looked intently at her face, willing her to look at him. ÒHermione? Come on. Look at me.Ó He pulled her chin up with his hand and smiled at her. She just looked blankly back at him
ÒI read about your disease.Ó He began, swallowing slightly when her face paled, ÒNow I understand everything a bit better. I understand why you donÕt want to take risks.Ó
Hermione didnÕt know what to say, so she didnÕt speak. She just continued to look at him, trying to keep her expression as blank as possible. It was becoming hard for her not to give in to his genuine concern and his twinkling eyes.
ÒCan I tell you something?Ó He saw her nod very slightly, and continued, ÒMy father, I never liked him. He influenced me, but I never actually liked him. I didnÕt know what else to think. He just made me feel what I did and I almost felt that if I did go against what he said, if I did become a rebel, that he would kill me without so much as a second thought.
ÒItÕs horrible to think of you father that way. I honestly hate to hate him. I do ask myself why do I then hate him. ItÕs so fucking hard to explain. I donÕt expect you to understand. ItÕs like. . . he drove my mother to her death to put it simply. He beat her and never treated her the way she deserved to be treated. The women in her family werenÕt very respecting of women, and they gave them away like they were selling them.Ó Draco flinched when he said this, and he looked at HermioneÕs reaction. Her eyes were oddly bright and he noticed her bottom lip quivering.
They looked at each other for a while until Hermione began to full out cry. Draco was alarmed, but too her into him arms, stroking her hair. They stayed like this for a while, and the soft sound of HermioneÕs tears nearly brought Draco to tears himself. She was crying out of sympathy for him. He couldnÕt believe that.
ÒHermione?Ó He whispered. She looked at him, her eyes puffy. She looked so lost. When did it get this far? Draco thought. He couldnÕt help it. He kissed her lightly. They didnÕt move from the spot for several seconds. When they did finally pull away, Hermione was no longer crying. She was smiling instead. She was as happy as she could get in her situation.
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A/N Hope that was good. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I REALLY ADORE THEM SO MUCH AND DESPERATELY REQUIRE THEM! No, seriously. Okay, now you guys add me to your favorite list!
My thanks:
LILY!!: Hi bunny-boo. I love you. Thank you for your help but if you tell my mother I will come to Fromageagogoland and kill you. I really will. I thought you said you were going to give me a nice big detailed review. I got fantastic chap and that was it. ThatÕs fabulous, but I really like it when people give constructive criticism too. Please!
Jess: Hey chica. How are you? Sorry about the forwards. Icksville, I know. Thank you for your enthusiastic review. Love the story, but I wonÕt tell you if itÕs what IÕm planning on doing or not because that would spoil everything. Grr! It sucks majorly that you donÕt have AIM. Grr. . .
Mary: Um, yeah, thanks for your review but IÕm like not sure whether you liked it or not. ? Am I being dumb here?
Asiha: Thanks for you your review. DidnÕt explain about the blood cause it really wouldnÕt be a good idea for me to spoil it just yet. I like the major compliment you gave me saying my songs were like Evanescence. Happiness! Now, as for the poems, I donÕt know whether you were referring to the ones on this story or my journal web page blog thing. Your poem is good. Definitely morbid and my style. ;). I donÕt know where IÕd use it cause my journal is strictly my stuff unless itÕs something that really inspires me and the poems arenÕt very frequent on this story so I donÕt know where I could fit it in.
Pink-lemonade: The ÒWalk to RememberÓ movie was kind of what I originally based it on. Glad you spotted the connection. Also, I really appreciate your compliment on my songs. Major confidence boost! Thanks! As for Evanescence, yes, I did get the title from that song. And I love them too. IÕm loving ÒTourniquetÓ and ÒHelloÓ right now. I also really like ÒSurrenderÓ, ÒMy ImmortalÓ and ÒImaginaryÓ. Very cool! Thanks! Your review is supreme awesomeness too! And I read your story and wrote a poem based on it. I shall find it. Hold on a sec! ~rummages through all poems and smiles satisfied upon finding the right one~. Okay, this is based on the first chapter of ÒWhispered VoicesÓ. Great title by the way.
The Beauty of a Bloodstained Rose-Part 2
I face the lake
A salty tear in my eye
I'm holding your rose
And willing myself not to cry
Your hateful words
Echo through the halls
You watch my dreams get squashed
You watch me stumble and fall
I look down at the rose
Its beauty is unreal
I begin to crush it in my hand
The blood reflects how I feel
I thought you loved me
This ordeal was like a slap to the face
I feel your breath behind me, on my neck
But what you did cannot be erased
I turn around
Facing you with pride
I smear my blood down your face
It's your turn to cry
You like? LOL. Well, thanks for your review anyhow. Mwahz!
Tenshi-Hotaru: I love you! You review like every chapter! Thanks! I really appreciate it! Thanks for all of your support and I really hope you liked this chapter! Click the review button ASAP! :-D!
Chicken Rocks: I love chickens too! Remind me of my best friend Lily. She adores them! Thanks for the really sweet review. Haha, guess what? I updated. *No shit Sherlock!*
HPFCarly: Aww! Merci beaucoup! Je suis tres fiere de ton revue! (Thanks a lot! IÕm very proud of your review!) Thanks a million times! God, youÕre so sweet!
A/N Guys! YÕall have to review AND add me to your fave lists! IÕll love you forever, I promise. *bows down to all her little reviewer people*