Standard disclaimers apply.
Author's Notes: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
MuMu: Rei-chan's buzzed, so I guess it's up to me to fill you in on the weirdness of this chapter. My baka of a mistress divided Chapter 7 into three parts. The first, as you've probably read already, is entirely in Syaoran's POV, and was all about the present situation he was in. This part focuses on his history. You know, life, training, all the shit. Part 3 shifts back to the same atmosphere as Part 1. You know, pot, kettle. Make the connection. *nudges rei-chan with foot* Still out. Damn.
ASSASSIN by rei-chan
CHAPTER EIGHT: Retrospection: The Making of an Assassin
If I were to write a book describing the euphoria of my childhood, the resulting text would be blank.
Empty.
Like my life.
It wasn't that nothing significant that occurred in it was worth writing. On the contrary, it is quite the opposite. If I were to write a book discussing the intricacies of my childhood, then rest assured that it would be long and complicated. The austerity of my life was not only prevalent in my past.
It tortures me until now.
Before the Federation, I was the only son of a wealthy politician active in the abolition of illegal drugs. It was widespread in Hongkong during my childhood, affecting the youth and damaging the economy. My father, Li Hao Shi, dedicated his entire career to the eradication of the source of the problem; the Triad(1).
The country praised my father's work excessively. He succeeded countless times in his cause, putting behind bars four out of the seven suspected drug cartels in Hongkong that not even the entire government put together had managed to accomplish.
But his dedication came with a price. Every arrest he made increased the number of death threats my family received. It got so bad that my sisters and I even had to quit school for some time just to ensure our safety. I genuinely thought that the threats would not go further than what they were, and still remain empty. I was that innocent, for, at six, I thought that no man was actually capable of killing for revenge.
One rainy morning, my innocent thoughts were proven wrong.
My family was gathered around the dining table that day, that much I can remember. My sisters, all several years older than I was, were giggling hysterically over the spill I had somehow managed to create with my oatmeal. I remember my six-year-old self struggling not to cry with embarrassment. Our parents stood a short distance away, softly laughing at our antics.
The scene we made was cozy, and it would have lasted long if it weren't for the sound of gunshots that suddenly echoed across the mansion.
'Ambush!' A startled cry came from the other side of the estate, which quickly initiated instant pandemonium. Footsteps echoed all over the mansion, mostly from the servants who were in the middle of their chores upstairs as everyone fought to spare their own lives.
'Ieran, take the children and go. Hide.' My father calmly commanded all of us as he purposefully headed out of the dining hall, followed by our small contingent of guards that had suddenly materialized, running, armed, and out of breath, from the back door.
Upon hearing the thinly veiled fear and panic in my father's otherwise composed tone, I immediately scampered into the dry bar, completely missing Feimei's frantic grasp and Mother's panicked call of 'Syaoran!'. Unhooking one of the ancient cabinet doors behind the bar, I shoved myself inside and slammed the door behind me, efficiently hooking the latch located behind the door. The small compartment had always been my little secret. Whenever my sisters have the urge to torment me with ribbons and their pretty little dresses, I would hide out in there. Whenever my mother or my father scolded me for not performing my katana exercises properly, I would scamper in and hide myself for a good number of hours, resurfacing only when they were too frantically devoted to finding me to be absolved. The little room had always been my respite away from every one else.
Now it would be my saving grace.
Footsteps thundered outside, and I tensed up, one of my hands reaching for the practice sword I didn't have.
'I can take them all.' I remember telling myself as I listened hard for any signs of the gunmen outside, part of me worrying over the welfare of my mother and my sisters, who I left hiding under the meager protection provided by the dining table. 'I can take them all. Father taught me well.'(2)
A door burst open. I heard Fuutie let out a startled scream, slightly muffled by the piece of furniture separating myself from my family.
'Where is the boy?' I heard one man's deep baritone ask as his boots made a soft crunching sound when it made contact with the polished wooden flooring.
'He is not here.'
The sound of metal meeting soft skin in a harsh slap reached my hearing, and I whimpered. There was no doubt in my mind that that was my mother's face the man was abusing. My whole being shook violently at the thought, but I didn't make a sound.
'Where is he?' The brusque voice was demanding. I could hear my sisters' agonized sobs from where I was hiding, and I clenched my little fists tightly, waves of helpless fury racking my entire body as I listened to the tortured wails my family was emitting.
'He has escaped.'
One of the gunmen let out an enraged howl at my mother's calm declaration.
'You fool! You will just be making things extra hard for the boy!'
Another slap.
'Please, let her alone!'
Shiefa's plea must have fallen on deaf ears, for another resounding slap echoed in the air. A soundless sob of agony escaped my lips, but I ruthlessly held myself back. I knew deep inside that I had to keep myself safe, for in me lies the only hope of salvation for my family.
I had to get out of this hellhole alive, no matter what happens.
'Then you leave us with no other option, woman.'
Gun shots, several of them, each shot sending a stabbing pain in my chest as I listened helplessly to their pleading screams.
After that, silence.
Blessed silence.
'Better toss the meddling bastard with his family, too.' One of the men said in a spiteful tone, and the tragic sound of one body landing solidly on top of another echoed in the kitchen. 'Fucking asshole.'
'Search the grounds. The boy could not have gotten that far.' Clothes rustled harshly on the floor, followed by several squeaks that could only mean that my family's murderers were walking on a wooden floor drenched in blood.
My family's blood.
My entire body grew cold at the thought. 'They're gone.' The fact had barely registered into my wildly spinning thoughts before the sound of something thumping against the table reached my hearing.
'What the hell are you doing, Wang?' One of the gunmen snarled, faint traces of disbelief coloring his tone of voice as he observed whatever it was his comrade was doing. 'The bitch is dead!'
'She's still warm.' A zipper being pulled open. A groan. 'So fucking warm...'
'Goddamnit, Wang! You're disgusting!'
The sound of fabric being torn roughly filtered through the deafening silence. 'Leave now. I'll join the search soon.' The last word was punctuated with a salacious moan as successive thuds of flesh meeting flesh reached my hearing.
I slid back against the cramped confines of my hiding place, tears stemming down in an unstoppable flow from my wide, unseeing eyes. Realization hit me like a splash of ice cold water. One of my family was being brutally raped. Even in death, these men showed no mercy.
I do not know how long I sat there, huddled, inside the dry bar, rocking myself back and forth pitifully. I wanted to go out and run for help, but I could not make myself push open the door and witness the sorry sight that awaited me. My entire body seemed to have tensed up, my mind completely numb with shock and disbelief at the unexpected turn of events my life has suddenly taken.
Just this morning...just this morning, we were so happy.
It seemed like hours had passed until courage melded back into my body. With great trepidation, I kicked open the cabinet door, fully expecting the worst form of murder to meet my innocent eyes. What greeted my vision in all its sordid detail still serves as fodder for my nightmares up to this time.
Blood was splattered in every possible surface. The counters, the table, the floor, the walls...Every available surface was covered with my family's blood. The meal that we never had the chance to finish spilled all over the table. Oatmeal, eggs, dumplings...All covered in blood.
'No.'
Bile rose up in my throat, but I ruthlessly clamped down the urge to vomit at the sight. Quickly, I averted my eyes and sucked in air when I saw the pitiful forms a few meters away from where I stood. Lying on the cool floor, in mingled crimson pools of their own blood were the bodies of my sisters and father, all bearing the same brutal sign of murder that tragically ended their lives. I whimpered, half in pity, half in disgust, and turned away, only to be greeted by the offensive sight that would continually haunt my thoughts to this day.
My mother lay there, splayed, on the dining table, her skirts pushed up over her waist, blood pooling down her legs in unending cascades. Her eyes were opened wide and staring, her mouth frozen in a desperate scream of plea.
My breath hitched harshly in my throat, and slowly, ever so slowly, I backed away from the tragic vision that presented itself sordidly in front of me. Anger, pain, confusion...all these thoughts spun in my mind, and I did my best to keep up with the turmoil of emotions.
But one thought stood out from the rest.
Revenge.
Rain thundered heavily on the mansion roof, and the strong gust of wind blew mercilessly through the open back door, but I paid no heed to the cold. My eyes were trained unblinkingly on the six figures of my deceased family. The only coherent thought in my mind was the need for cold-blooded revenge.
'Look at this and remember, Syaoran.' I told myself in anguish, my entire being numb with pain and sickened with grief. 'Look at this and remember. You will avenge their deaths.'
Slowly, I turned around and headed towards the door and out to the pounding rain, my innocence left dead and broken with the members of my family.
*****
I wandered for days after the massacre, not eating, not resting. My anger kept me going through those days without nourishment. It fueled my body. Any child would have collapsed from exhaustion in my place, but I was different. I was no child.
Not anymore.
The massacre had broken me in a manner that the pieces would never be put back together again. Each little piece that composed my innocence, my immaturity, my childhood, were all broken down into a thousand more little pieces and scattered with the wind.
Before the murder, I was an innocent mind living in a child's body. I walked out of it alive, but changed. I was now an adult straining to escape the confines of the child's body.
I was jaded.
For days I walked and walked with no real purpose ahead of me. Only one thing was resonant in my mind; The desire to find my family's murderers and make them pay for the damages they had done. Not only to my deceased kin, but also to myself.
My aimless wandering somehow led me to the nearest highway, miles and miles away from the hillside property my family owned--used to own. As luck would have provided, rain was still pouring in gigantic drops. I was cold, tired, hungry, and angry--
I was alone.
Exhaustion finally conquered my frail body, and as I felt myself start to collapse bonelessly on the unyielding ground, my last coherent thought was centered on my mother's abuse.
'I will avenge you.'
When I came to, I was nestled under the covers of a soft bed with various needles and beeping machinery attached to my arm. My first reaction to my unfamiliar environment was shrill panic, and I started thrashing about, which brought into the room a blur of people garbed in white.
It took them a lot of effort and several vials of sedatives to calm me down. As I dropped off into another uneasy slumber, one of the men braved my delirium and asked for my name.
Up until this moment, I still have no idea what prompted my response, but the day that I regret that answer is yet to come. As I felt the comforting arms of sleep pull me back, I slurred,
'Li Hao Shi.'
*****
It was later on when I found out that it was the General who found my unconscious body by the hi-way, and that the place I regained consciousness in was, in fact, his private estate and not the hospital that I have come to believe it. He visited me in my room out of the blue one morning, inquiring about my condition. As I observed his eyes while I sat, propped up against the light blue pillows, I could tell that he wanted to ask millions of questions. Questions about myself; my life, my identity. I was careful to avert my gaze, focusing instead on the azure hue of the horizon visible through my room's glass walls. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone, let alone someone I didn't know and trust. I was not ready to relieve the horrible image of blood that I am up to know still trying to bury within the recesses of my mind.
After several moments of tense silence, it was the General who broke through the deafening stillness. Clearing his throat, he said in a gentle voice. 'I understand that you don't trust me. But at least, out of gratitude, tell me one thing.' His voice held a desperate hint that was both pitiful and amusing at the same time. Imagine the General, a prominent man of high societal background, pleading to hear the truth from a mere child such as I.
Appreciation was not alien to me. Growing up under the tutelage of a father who, supposedly, was to head a clan in China but chose to pursue his political career ensured me and my sisters the best training in etiquette and values. My honor demanded me to respond, and I would rather die than betray my honor. It was all that I have now.
I nodded once.
He seemed surprise that I suddenly decided to be cooperative. Lacing his fingers together, he leaned forward on his perch and rested his chin on his hands, a thoughtful expression marring his otherwise blank expression. 'When you regained consciousness,' he began before casting a meaningful glance at my neutral features, 'one of my men asked you what your name was. You replied that it was Li Hao Shi.'
'What does that have to do with anything?' I calmly retorted.
'The man is dead. His entire family was massacred several days before I found you wandering.' I could feel his penetrating gaze on my face, gauging my reactions. I didn't grant him the benefit. I turned away and didn't respond. In my mind I could still picture the grotesque reality of that day. The dead carcasses of my father and sisters...My mother's splayed body, brutally raped and beaten up...My eyes tingled on the onslaught of tears, but I bit the urge back ferociously.
'Little boy?'
I sneaked a glance at the General, who was still staring at me pensively. 'So?' My one-word answer was but a mere croak.
'Who are you, really, little boy?'
I turned my gaze back to the window, once more observing the indigo skies slowly filter itself into darkness.
'Just a lost little boy, mister. Just lost.'
*****
Our relationship grew from mere respect to that of a symbiosis since that night. The General took me under his wing and cared for me. I suspect that he did so for I provided him with the companionship that he craved. I gave him a sense of family; he gave me everything that I needed to live.
At my request, the General hired a professional swordsman to train me during the day. I slaved doubly hard under my new instructor's scrutiny. I threw my entire self into the art, pausing only for meals and bathroom breaks. My desire for vengeance was the fuel for my body. I pushed myself to the limits, something I've never done before, and this drive was probably the reason for the General's later offer.
One morning, four months after our small bedside conversation, I was performing my afternoon exercises when the General came in from the garage. I diverted my attention away from my exercise to greet him, and it was then that I noticed his clothes. A formal military attire, complete with badges. I've always dreamt of meeting a true military, and for a second my deeply buried chidlishness peeked out from the blank wall I had built around my heart since the massacre.
'Ni hao!' My eyes danced excitedly at the General's attire. 'Where are you going?'
He smiled a paternal smile at me. 'Taking you somewhere, Hao Shi.' He replied in a gentle voice, nodding to dismiss my instructor. 'Let's go.'
Somewhere along the line, the General had gotten used to calling me by my father's name, even though I had indeed admitted to him my real identity. I have no qualms with this, for using my father's name had given me the strength that I craved to move on.
We drove for what seemed like two hours in companionable silence. Throughout the ride I kept myself busy gazing out at the pastures zooming behind us through the window. I was curious as to where the man was taking me, but I kept still and appeared to be patient, although inside, I was barely able to contain my excitement.
Little did I know that the car ride we took was the stepping stone that would begin an entire existence for me.
We stopped in front of a sprawling edifice. The General gunned the engine down and pulled the car keys off the slot before turning to face me, his features arranged in the most serious expression I have ever seen from him. 'What I am about to show you might mark the biggest transition of your life, Hao Shi.' He began gravely, his eyes seeking to pin my own ones down. 'I would not force you to embrace the new life that I will be presenting you. But I do ask you to keep an open mind about this. Is that understood?'
I gave no hesitation to deliver my reply. 'Yes.'
He then motioned for me to get out of the vehicle, and I did so obediently, quickly making my way to stand beside him. He gazed down at me before taking my hand, an action that he had never done to me before.
It was comforting, in a way. My father, though a very lovable man and a responsible father, had never been affectionate. There was just no ending to the surprises of this man.
He took me around the Federation Training School, and while we ventured, gave me succinct explanations as to what and why these children were here. I never turned to look at him the entire time, but I was listening to his every word, processing each tidbit of information he was providing me. I was going to be the exception to the norm, the General told me, because normally, the Federation picked out choice students for their special training program from the school that they operated. I was here not because I've been assessed to have the special talent they seek in their students, but because he, an influential persona and benefactor of the Federation System, had recommended me to join the program. At one point I interrupted him with the question of why he recommended me. The man that I've come to consider as my only ally in this damning world perched on one of his folded knees and gave me a level stare. 'Because you have the talent to be in the program. I've overseen your training sessions, and even I have to admit that you are good at what you're doing.'
We scoured the area some more, from the classrooms, dorms, the shooting range, and the Tactics room, before the General grabbed me by the shoulders and propelled me to face him. I looked up, but kept my gaze hooded.
'Well, Syaoran?' He pressed, using my real name for the first time since I came under his care. 'What do you think?'
I clenched my fists together tightly.
'Okay.'
*****
We boarded the plane to Japan a week after I made my decision. In all honesty, I was afraid of the new life that I would be soon beginning in another country. Though my father, with his governmental position, took numerous trips to other places frequently, he had never taken any of us, except for my older sister Feimei, with him. It would be my first time leaving the place that I've known as home.
The plane ride was uneventful. The General and I did not even talk to each other the whole time, just went about with our own business. Twice he had pressed whether or not I was sure about what I had decided, and twice I gave him a pointed glare and an impatient frown. I was no fool. I could tell that he was scared for me. But I was not going to be weak and admit that I was feeling the same as well.
A stout man of air met us at the airport, and introduced himself simply as the Commander, the person who foresees the overall operation of the Federation Training School in Japan. I met the man's penetrating stare with one of my own, and I could tell right away that my attitude surprised him. He turned to the General and nodded.
'I can see now why you chose the lad. He has spirit.'
The General squeezed my fingers lightly. He had been holding on to my hand ever since we stepped out of the plane. 'He's just broken.' He replied softly.
I sharply jerked my head towards his direction, surprised at his sudden words. I had never told the General my feelings about the massacre, but judging from the sound of things, he knew.
He gave me a bitter smile and a plaintive nod. 'I expect you to care for the boy, Commander. Any form of maltreatment to the lad will reach my knowledge, you know that.'
The Commander gave a brief nod of acceptance. 'So noted.' He held out a hand to the General. 'We should be on our way, then, General. Young Hao Shi has a big day ahead of him.'
The General knelt in front of me. 'This is where I take my leave now, Syaoran.' He began softly, laying a hand on one of my shoulders and giving it a gentle squeeze. 'Be strong.' He added in a whisper.
I gave him a sharp nod. 'Of course.'
He gave me another squeeze before rising up back on his feet and gently nudging me towards the Commander's direction. 'Remember, Commander. My wrath is something no one should dare cross.'
'Of course, General. You can count on me.'
I left the airport with the Commander a skulking presence at my side, leaving behind the one man I have learned to trust with my life ever since my family died.
I was beginning my new life.
TBC
==Oi! If some of you are looking for the narration about Syaoran's-Hao Shi's-escape with Eriol, don't despair. That part of the story would be tackled with at another time, at another chapter. Trust me.==
* Chapter 7 Part 3 is also up *
FOOTNOTES:
1. The name was chosen solely for fictional purposes. Please be considerate.
2. It might seem strange that a six-year-old boy like Syao-chan thinks too much like an adult. Let me explain. I'm adapting some of the two anime's concepts here. In GWing, Heero was trained to be a soldier since he was four. In CCS, Syaoran has been training with the sword at the same age. I'm trying to incorporate Heero's and Syaoran's character into one being. Other explanations would be delivered by the Syaoran character I have here.
Author's Notes: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
MuMu: Rei-chan's buzzed, so I guess it's up to me to fill you in on the weirdness of this chapter. My baka of a mistress divided Chapter 7 into three parts. The first, as you've probably read already, is entirely in Syaoran's POV, and was all about the present situation he was in. This part focuses on his history. You know, life, training, all the shit. Part 3 shifts back to the same atmosphere as Part 1. You know, pot, kettle. Make the connection. *nudges rei-chan with foot* Still out. Damn.
ASSASSIN by rei-chan
CHAPTER EIGHT: Retrospection: The Making of an Assassin
If I were to write a book describing the euphoria of my childhood, the resulting text would be blank.
Empty.
Like my life.
It wasn't that nothing significant that occurred in it was worth writing. On the contrary, it is quite the opposite. If I were to write a book discussing the intricacies of my childhood, then rest assured that it would be long and complicated. The austerity of my life was not only prevalent in my past.
It tortures me until now.
Before the Federation, I was the only son of a wealthy politician active in the abolition of illegal drugs. It was widespread in Hongkong during my childhood, affecting the youth and damaging the economy. My father, Li Hao Shi, dedicated his entire career to the eradication of the source of the problem; the Triad(1).
The country praised my father's work excessively. He succeeded countless times in his cause, putting behind bars four out of the seven suspected drug cartels in Hongkong that not even the entire government put together had managed to accomplish.
But his dedication came with a price. Every arrest he made increased the number of death threats my family received. It got so bad that my sisters and I even had to quit school for some time just to ensure our safety. I genuinely thought that the threats would not go further than what they were, and still remain empty. I was that innocent, for, at six, I thought that no man was actually capable of killing for revenge.
One rainy morning, my innocent thoughts were proven wrong.
My family was gathered around the dining table that day, that much I can remember. My sisters, all several years older than I was, were giggling hysterically over the spill I had somehow managed to create with my oatmeal. I remember my six-year-old self struggling not to cry with embarrassment. Our parents stood a short distance away, softly laughing at our antics.
The scene we made was cozy, and it would have lasted long if it weren't for the sound of gunshots that suddenly echoed across the mansion.
'Ambush!' A startled cry came from the other side of the estate, which quickly initiated instant pandemonium. Footsteps echoed all over the mansion, mostly from the servants who were in the middle of their chores upstairs as everyone fought to spare their own lives.
'Ieran, take the children and go. Hide.' My father calmly commanded all of us as he purposefully headed out of the dining hall, followed by our small contingent of guards that had suddenly materialized, running, armed, and out of breath, from the back door.
Upon hearing the thinly veiled fear and panic in my father's otherwise composed tone, I immediately scampered into the dry bar, completely missing Feimei's frantic grasp and Mother's panicked call of 'Syaoran!'. Unhooking one of the ancient cabinet doors behind the bar, I shoved myself inside and slammed the door behind me, efficiently hooking the latch located behind the door. The small compartment had always been my little secret. Whenever my sisters have the urge to torment me with ribbons and their pretty little dresses, I would hide out in there. Whenever my mother or my father scolded me for not performing my katana exercises properly, I would scamper in and hide myself for a good number of hours, resurfacing only when they were too frantically devoted to finding me to be absolved. The little room had always been my respite away from every one else.
Now it would be my saving grace.
Footsteps thundered outside, and I tensed up, one of my hands reaching for the practice sword I didn't have.
'I can take them all.' I remember telling myself as I listened hard for any signs of the gunmen outside, part of me worrying over the welfare of my mother and my sisters, who I left hiding under the meager protection provided by the dining table. 'I can take them all. Father taught me well.'(2)
A door burst open. I heard Fuutie let out a startled scream, slightly muffled by the piece of furniture separating myself from my family.
'Where is the boy?' I heard one man's deep baritone ask as his boots made a soft crunching sound when it made contact with the polished wooden flooring.
'He is not here.'
The sound of metal meeting soft skin in a harsh slap reached my hearing, and I whimpered. There was no doubt in my mind that that was my mother's face the man was abusing. My whole being shook violently at the thought, but I didn't make a sound.
'Where is he?' The brusque voice was demanding. I could hear my sisters' agonized sobs from where I was hiding, and I clenched my little fists tightly, waves of helpless fury racking my entire body as I listened to the tortured wails my family was emitting.
'He has escaped.'
One of the gunmen let out an enraged howl at my mother's calm declaration.
'You fool! You will just be making things extra hard for the boy!'
Another slap.
'Please, let her alone!'
Shiefa's plea must have fallen on deaf ears, for another resounding slap echoed in the air. A soundless sob of agony escaped my lips, but I ruthlessly held myself back. I knew deep inside that I had to keep myself safe, for in me lies the only hope of salvation for my family.
I had to get out of this hellhole alive, no matter what happens.
'Then you leave us with no other option, woman.'
Gun shots, several of them, each shot sending a stabbing pain in my chest as I listened helplessly to their pleading screams.
After that, silence.
Blessed silence.
'Better toss the meddling bastard with his family, too.' One of the men said in a spiteful tone, and the tragic sound of one body landing solidly on top of another echoed in the kitchen. 'Fucking asshole.'
'Search the grounds. The boy could not have gotten that far.' Clothes rustled harshly on the floor, followed by several squeaks that could only mean that my family's murderers were walking on a wooden floor drenched in blood.
My family's blood.
My entire body grew cold at the thought. 'They're gone.' The fact had barely registered into my wildly spinning thoughts before the sound of something thumping against the table reached my hearing.
'What the hell are you doing, Wang?' One of the gunmen snarled, faint traces of disbelief coloring his tone of voice as he observed whatever it was his comrade was doing. 'The bitch is dead!'
'She's still warm.' A zipper being pulled open. A groan. 'So fucking warm...'
'Goddamnit, Wang! You're disgusting!'
The sound of fabric being torn roughly filtered through the deafening silence. 'Leave now. I'll join the search soon.' The last word was punctuated with a salacious moan as successive thuds of flesh meeting flesh reached my hearing.
I slid back against the cramped confines of my hiding place, tears stemming down in an unstoppable flow from my wide, unseeing eyes. Realization hit me like a splash of ice cold water. One of my family was being brutally raped. Even in death, these men showed no mercy.
I do not know how long I sat there, huddled, inside the dry bar, rocking myself back and forth pitifully. I wanted to go out and run for help, but I could not make myself push open the door and witness the sorry sight that awaited me. My entire body seemed to have tensed up, my mind completely numb with shock and disbelief at the unexpected turn of events my life has suddenly taken.
Just this morning...just this morning, we were so happy.
It seemed like hours had passed until courage melded back into my body. With great trepidation, I kicked open the cabinet door, fully expecting the worst form of murder to meet my innocent eyes. What greeted my vision in all its sordid detail still serves as fodder for my nightmares up to this time.
Blood was splattered in every possible surface. The counters, the table, the floor, the walls...Every available surface was covered with my family's blood. The meal that we never had the chance to finish spilled all over the table. Oatmeal, eggs, dumplings...All covered in blood.
'No.'
Bile rose up in my throat, but I ruthlessly clamped down the urge to vomit at the sight. Quickly, I averted my eyes and sucked in air when I saw the pitiful forms a few meters away from where I stood. Lying on the cool floor, in mingled crimson pools of their own blood were the bodies of my sisters and father, all bearing the same brutal sign of murder that tragically ended their lives. I whimpered, half in pity, half in disgust, and turned away, only to be greeted by the offensive sight that would continually haunt my thoughts to this day.
My mother lay there, splayed, on the dining table, her skirts pushed up over her waist, blood pooling down her legs in unending cascades. Her eyes were opened wide and staring, her mouth frozen in a desperate scream of plea.
My breath hitched harshly in my throat, and slowly, ever so slowly, I backed away from the tragic vision that presented itself sordidly in front of me. Anger, pain, confusion...all these thoughts spun in my mind, and I did my best to keep up with the turmoil of emotions.
But one thought stood out from the rest.
Revenge.
Rain thundered heavily on the mansion roof, and the strong gust of wind blew mercilessly through the open back door, but I paid no heed to the cold. My eyes were trained unblinkingly on the six figures of my deceased family. The only coherent thought in my mind was the need for cold-blooded revenge.
'Look at this and remember, Syaoran.' I told myself in anguish, my entire being numb with pain and sickened with grief. 'Look at this and remember. You will avenge their deaths.'
Slowly, I turned around and headed towards the door and out to the pounding rain, my innocence left dead and broken with the members of my family.
*****
I wandered for days after the massacre, not eating, not resting. My anger kept me going through those days without nourishment. It fueled my body. Any child would have collapsed from exhaustion in my place, but I was different. I was no child.
Not anymore.
The massacre had broken me in a manner that the pieces would never be put back together again. Each little piece that composed my innocence, my immaturity, my childhood, were all broken down into a thousand more little pieces and scattered with the wind.
Before the murder, I was an innocent mind living in a child's body. I walked out of it alive, but changed. I was now an adult straining to escape the confines of the child's body.
I was jaded.
For days I walked and walked with no real purpose ahead of me. Only one thing was resonant in my mind; The desire to find my family's murderers and make them pay for the damages they had done. Not only to my deceased kin, but also to myself.
My aimless wandering somehow led me to the nearest highway, miles and miles away from the hillside property my family owned--used to own. As luck would have provided, rain was still pouring in gigantic drops. I was cold, tired, hungry, and angry--
I was alone.
Exhaustion finally conquered my frail body, and as I felt myself start to collapse bonelessly on the unyielding ground, my last coherent thought was centered on my mother's abuse.
'I will avenge you.'
When I came to, I was nestled under the covers of a soft bed with various needles and beeping machinery attached to my arm. My first reaction to my unfamiliar environment was shrill panic, and I started thrashing about, which brought into the room a blur of people garbed in white.
It took them a lot of effort and several vials of sedatives to calm me down. As I dropped off into another uneasy slumber, one of the men braved my delirium and asked for my name.
Up until this moment, I still have no idea what prompted my response, but the day that I regret that answer is yet to come. As I felt the comforting arms of sleep pull me back, I slurred,
'Li Hao Shi.'
*****
It was later on when I found out that it was the General who found my unconscious body by the hi-way, and that the place I regained consciousness in was, in fact, his private estate and not the hospital that I have come to believe it. He visited me in my room out of the blue one morning, inquiring about my condition. As I observed his eyes while I sat, propped up against the light blue pillows, I could tell that he wanted to ask millions of questions. Questions about myself; my life, my identity. I was careful to avert my gaze, focusing instead on the azure hue of the horizon visible through my room's glass walls. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone, let alone someone I didn't know and trust. I was not ready to relieve the horrible image of blood that I am up to know still trying to bury within the recesses of my mind.
After several moments of tense silence, it was the General who broke through the deafening stillness. Clearing his throat, he said in a gentle voice. 'I understand that you don't trust me. But at least, out of gratitude, tell me one thing.' His voice held a desperate hint that was both pitiful and amusing at the same time. Imagine the General, a prominent man of high societal background, pleading to hear the truth from a mere child such as I.
Appreciation was not alien to me. Growing up under the tutelage of a father who, supposedly, was to head a clan in China but chose to pursue his political career ensured me and my sisters the best training in etiquette and values. My honor demanded me to respond, and I would rather die than betray my honor. It was all that I have now.
I nodded once.
He seemed surprise that I suddenly decided to be cooperative. Lacing his fingers together, he leaned forward on his perch and rested his chin on his hands, a thoughtful expression marring his otherwise blank expression. 'When you regained consciousness,' he began before casting a meaningful glance at my neutral features, 'one of my men asked you what your name was. You replied that it was Li Hao Shi.'
'What does that have to do with anything?' I calmly retorted.
'The man is dead. His entire family was massacred several days before I found you wandering.' I could feel his penetrating gaze on my face, gauging my reactions. I didn't grant him the benefit. I turned away and didn't respond. In my mind I could still picture the grotesque reality of that day. The dead carcasses of my father and sisters...My mother's splayed body, brutally raped and beaten up...My eyes tingled on the onslaught of tears, but I bit the urge back ferociously.
'Little boy?'
I sneaked a glance at the General, who was still staring at me pensively. 'So?' My one-word answer was but a mere croak.
'Who are you, really, little boy?'
I turned my gaze back to the window, once more observing the indigo skies slowly filter itself into darkness.
'Just a lost little boy, mister. Just lost.'
*****
Our relationship grew from mere respect to that of a symbiosis since that night. The General took me under his wing and cared for me. I suspect that he did so for I provided him with the companionship that he craved. I gave him a sense of family; he gave me everything that I needed to live.
At my request, the General hired a professional swordsman to train me during the day. I slaved doubly hard under my new instructor's scrutiny. I threw my entire self into the art, pausing only for meals and bathroom breaks. My desire for vengeance was the fuel for my body. I pushed myself to the limits, something I've never done before, and this drive was probably the reason for the General's later offer.
One morning, four months after our small bedside conversation, I was performing my afternoon exercises when the General came in from the garage. I diverted my attention away from my exercise to greet him, and it was then that I noticed his clothes. A formal military attire, complete with badges. I've always dreamt of meeting a true military, and for a second my deeply buried chidlishness peeked out from the blank wall I had built around my heart since the massacre.
'Ni hao!' My eyes danced excitedly at the General's attire. 'Where are you going?'
He smiled a paternal smile at me. 'Taking you somewhere, Hao Shi.' He replied in a gentle voice, nodding to dismiss my instructor. 'Let's go.'
Somewhere along the line, the General had gotten used to calling me by my father's name, even though I had indeed admitted to him my real identity. I have no qualms with this, for using my father's name had given me the strength that I craved to move on.
We drove for what seemed like two hours in companionable silence. Throughout the ride I kept myself busy gazing out at the pastures zooming behind us through the window. I was curious as to where the man was taking me, but I kept still and appeared to be patient, although inside, I was barely able to contain my excitement.
Little did I know that the car ride we took was the stepping stone that would begin an entire existence for me.
We stopped in front of a sprawling edifice. The General gunned the engine down and pulled the car keys off the slot before turning to face me, his features arranged in the most serious expression I have ever seen from him. 'What I am about to show you might mark the biggest transition of your life, Hao Shi.' He began gravely, his eyes seeking to pin my own ones down. 'I would not force you to embrace the new life that I will be presenting you. But I do ask you to keep an open mind about this. Is that understood?'
I gave no hesitation to deliver my reply. 'Yes.'
He then motioned for me to get out of the vehicle, and I did so obediently, quickly making my way to stand beside him. He gazed down at me before taking my hand, an action that he had never done to me before.
It was comforting, in a way. My father, though a very lovable man and a responsible father, had never been affectionate. There was just no ending to the surprises of this man.
He took me around the Federation Training School, and while we ventured, gave me succinct explanations as to what and why these children were here. I never turned to look at him the entire time, but I was listening to his every word, processing each tidbit of information he was providing me. I was going to be the exception to the norm, the General told me, because normally, the Federation picked out choice students for their special training program from the school that they operated. I was here not because I've been assessed to have the special talent they seek in their students, but because he, an influential persona and benefactor of the Federation System, had recommended me to join the program. At one point I interrupted him with the question of why he recommended me. The man that I've come to consider as my only ally in this damning world perched on one of his folded knees and gave me a level stare. 'Because you have the talent to be in the program. I've overseen your training sessions, and even I have to admit that you are good at what you're doing.'
We scoured the area some more, from the classrooms, dorms, the shooting range, and the Tactics room, before the General grabbed me by the shoulders and propelled me to face him. I looked up, but kept my gaze hooded.
'Well, Syaoran?' He pressed, using my real name for the first time since I came under his care. 'What do you think?'
I clenched my fists together tightly.
'Okay.'
*****
We boarded the plane to Japan a week after I made my decision. In all honesty, I was afraid of the new life that I would be soon beginning in another country. Though my father, with his governmental position, took numerous trips to other places frequently, he had never taken any of us, except for my older sister Feimei, with him. It would be my first time leaving the place that I've known as home.
The plane ride was uneventful. The General and I did not even talk to each other the whole time, just went about with our own business. Twice he had pressed whether or not I was sure about what I had decided, and twice I gave him a pointed glare and an impatient frown. I was no fool. I could tell that he was scared for me. But I was not going to be weak and admit that I was feeling the same as well.
A stout man of air met us at the airport, and introduced himself simply as the Commander, the person who foresees the overall operation of the Federation Training School in Japan. I met the man's penetrating stare with one of my own, and I could tell right away that my attitude surprised him. He turned to the General and nodded.
'I can see now why you chose the lad. He has spirit.'
The General squeezed my fingers lightly. He had been holding on to my hand ever since we stepped out of the plane. 'He's just broken.' He replied softly.
I sharply jerked my head towards his direction, surprised at his sudden words. I had never told the General my feelings about the massacre, but judging from the sound of things, he knew.
He gave me a bitter smile and a plaintive nod. 'I expect you to care for the boy, Commander. Any form of maltreatment to the lad will reach my knowledge, you know that.'
The Commander gave a brief nod of acceptance. 'So noted.' He held out a hand to the General. 'We should be on our way, then, General. Young Hao Shi has a big day ahead of him.'
The General knelt in front of me. 'This is where I take my leave now, Syaoran.' He began softly, laying a hand on one of my shoulders and giving it a gentle squeeze. 'Be strong.' He added in a whisper.
I gave him a sharp nod. 'Of course.'
He gave me another squeeze before rising up back on his feet and gently nudging me towards the Commander's direction. 'Remember, Commander. My wrath is something no one should dare cross.'
'Of course, General. You can count on me.'
I left the airport with the Commander a skulking presence at my side, leaving behind the one man I have learned to trust with my life ever since my family died.
I was beginning my new life.
TBC
==Oi! If some of you are looking for the narration about Syaoran's-Hao Shi's-escape with Eriol, don't despair. That part of the story would be tackled with at another time, at another chapter. Trust me.==
* Chapter 7 Part 3 is also up *
FOOTNOTES:
1. The name was chosen solely for fictional purposes. Please be considerate.
2. It might seem strange that a six-year-old boy like Syao-chan thinks too much like an adult. Let me explain. I'm adapting some of the two anime's concepts here. In GWing, Heero was trained to be a soldier since he was four. In CCS, Syaoran has been training with the sword at the same age. I'm trying to incorporate Heero's and Syaoran's character into one being. Other explanations would be delivered by the Syaoran character I have here.