Crying Out

Summary: Spinner and Paige get into an argument. Hearts are broken, words are misinterpreted and things are left unsaid. One-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or anything. The title isn't even mine. It's a song by Shinedown.

A/N: Another little depressing one-shot I came up with. I have no idea where this came from, I just...sat down and wrote. I don't know how good it is, I just wrote it randomly. Feedback would be appreciated. =)

I don't know how it happened, which made this hard to talk about. I'm sitting here in this little coffee shop, hoping, no, praying that maybe he'll come in and we can sort this out. That's a crazy thing to hope for, though, and I know that very well. He wasn't the type to hang about in coffee shops and stare out the window, observing the scenery. Then again, neither was I. Not until recently.

I didn't mean for things to happen as badly as they did. I didn't mean to snap at him and criticize him. I just want to talk this out and get our relationship back to normal.

Who was I kidding? That was never going to happen.

It suddenly got very cold in the tiny shop and I immediately reach for my sweater. I shiver slightly and throw it on before taking a sip of the coffee that sits in front of me.

I can't believe that it's over. Over. Just like that. We were Degrassi's most popular couple. Everyone wanted what we had. And just like that, he destroyed it. I guess it'd be easy just to blame you for this, but I know that I deserve more blame than he does.

I could have been a better girlfriend. I could have stopped him from feeling the way he did...right? Maybe if I had been more supportive. Maybe if I had actually been there for him when he needed me the most. Maybe if I hadn't always let my mouth get the best of me.

I'm just a selfish, cruel person. How could he ever love someone like me?

Oh that's right. He doesn't. Not anymore.

----

"Spinner, stop it! Can we just talk about this?" I had pleaded, chasing after you as you practically ran down the street.

I caught up to you and grabbed your arm. Violently, you flung me away.

"I don't want to 'depress you with my problems', Paige," you snapped at me, coming to a halt.

My heart ached. "I didn't mean that, Spin! Please, would you just stop this? You're being so immature!"

You laughed bitterly. "That's right, Paige. Because I'm always the one who's just so immature!" you shouted at me.

I was already near tears. "I didn't mean any of that! Why can't you just listen?"

"You can't say things like that and not mean it," you said. "Forget it, Paige, I'm through with this. Through with you nagging at me and yelling at me, and telling me how much I mess things up. Find someone else who will put up with your shit because I'm done," you spat and began to walk away.

"I will!" I screamed at your back. "Trust me, I will. And I'll be much happier than I've ever been with you!"

"Good. Because I could find at least ten other girls who'd make a much better girlfriend than you."

---

The words still stung at my heart. I knew he was having problems at home. I knew things at school weren't looking up for him. Yet, why did I still continuously criticize him and make him feel insignificant? I guess I just had a knack for doing that...I'd done it enough times in the past few years.

I didn't mean to drive him away, as much as he'd beg to differ.

I'm getting sick of sitting in this little coffee shop, all by myself. I gather my purse and head for the exit, walking into the cold, piercing air. It's almost December.

I haven't realized until now how long we've actually been together. Practically three years. Give or take a few months. That's why this whole situation just tears me apart. Because I gave my heart to you, because I loved you. Because I still love you.

I walk down the street, unsure of where I'm headed. I immediately think of heading down to Hazel's place, but I reject that idea seconds later. She doesn't need me whining and weeping to her about my life. Although that's what Spinner had done and I had hurt him. I had hurt him so much.

---

"After you, Honeybee," you said, holding the door open for me as we entered the restaurant.

I smiled sweetly and replied, "Thanks, honey."

We got a table and began to order. We laughed and joked just like we always did. A perfect evening. Or so I thought.

We ate our food, talking and enjoying each other's company.

We left soon after and you asked if you wanted to go on a walk before we went home. I happily agreed and we walked hand in hand down the sidewalk.

You stopped and sat down on a bench nearby and I joined you. Before I knew it, your arms were around me and you were murmuring some nonsense about how 'you just can't take it anymore'. I looked up at you and asked you what was wrong. You began to tell me all about the stress you're under and how nothing seems to matter anymore. You don't go into details, and I'm too scared to ask.

I've never really liked confrontation like this, and hearing you talk about it scared me to death.

"Spin, can we please just..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

"Just what?" you asked.

"It's just that we have the whole night ahead of us. We should go out and have fun, to get your mind off of this."

"Easy for you to say," you muttered.

I took offence to this. "I'm sorry," I replied sarcastically without thinking, "that I don't want you depressing me with your problems. You're—"

You cut me off before I could say anymore. "Depress you with my problems?" your voice was rising. "Excuse me for thinking you actually cared about someone other than yourself."

You got up and walked off. You had a tendency to do that often.

You left me there, stunned, completely outraged and hurt.

---

And that's how it had started. It was official—I was the biggest moron to ever walk Earth.

I'm headed in the direction of my house, although I really don't feel like going home. I pass the Dot on the way there, and see Dylan in the window, talking with Marco. At least their relationship seems to be working out.

I decide to go in for a moment and say hello...company actually sounds very comforting at the moment.

I walk in and Marco spots me almost immediately. He waves me over and I take a seat next to him.

They both greet me. I know Dylan senses something is wrong. He's been asking me for days whether I'm alright. Marco seems to notice as well. Was I that obvious?

"Paige, you seem a little out of it. Are you okay?" Marco asks.

I take a deep breath. I'm not okay. Not at all.

"Yeah, sure," I lie. Telling that I'm not okay would lead to me spilling the beans about what happened and I wasn't ready for that just yet. Unless Spinner said something to Marco.

Oh, I hope not.

Dylan takes a sip of his soda and stares at me, as if looking at me is going to get answers. We talk for a few moments, Dylan reminding me that he has a hockey game next Saturday and inviting Marco along, and Marco happily agreeing.

I sigh and focus my eyes on the table. It's a rather nice table, actually...

I notice the door open and to my astonishment, Spinner walks in. And he's not alone. He's laughing with someone I recognize as...no...it can't be. Ashley Kerwin? My eyes are now focused intently on the two. Behind them walks in Hazel and Jimmy. My eyes narrow. The four are there together?

My heart sinks and I glare daggers at the people I once thought were my friends.

"I-I have to go," I say to my brother and Marco, getting up and rushing for the door. I brush past Spinner and Ashley, and I meet Spinner's eyes, pleading with him wordlessly. Come with me. Don't do this. I need you.

I get no reaction from him at all. He looks away, and I realize that it's hopeless. I've ruined all chances of there ever being another relationship with him.

I want to say something to him; to yell at him, to scream at him. Something. But I stay quiet. I walk out of the Dot silently and into the cold, forcing myself not to look back.

I'm a terrible person. I deserve this pain. No, I deserve worse. Because I made the most horrible mistake I could ever make. I did the worst things I could ever possibly do. Because I'm selfish and cruel and unworthy of ever being loved by him again.

A/N: I know, I'm so mean to Paige. I don't know how I got inspired to write something like this, but here it is. I might do Spinner's POV next, but I'm not totally sure yet.