Chapter Five

A/N: Going to summer school for a week...I can't bring anything with me except my clothes and my textbooks, so out of sheer boredom I'll probably end up locked away in the library every night. In other words, expect lots of updates next week! I saw POA today...man was it awesome! Not as good as the book of course, but still awesome. I can't wait to see it again!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed...I really appreciate your feedback. It motivates me to keep this going. Everybody else, review dammit! ::cough:: I mean pretty please with sugar on top, review my story.

Severus Snape was not a morning person. Out of necessity he had become a night owl, and had grown to despise mornings with intense hatred he normally reserved for idiotic students and long deceased family members. If anything, Severus was used to waking to a gentle charm, or perhaps a quivering house elf with a tray of tea. He was not prepared at all for the loud crash that greeted him that morning.

Severus awoke with a jolt, and sat up to find his new 'bride' Katherine standing over a broken vase, looking rather sheepish. His first reaction was to reach for his wand and defend himself against this new intruder, until he came to remember exactly why this strange woman was standing before him and how he come to fall asleep on his own couch. Severus seethed in anger and frustration as he took stock of the situation. Three open trunks were sitting in the middle of his sitting room, apparently the "things" Katherine had sent for had arrived.

'I suppose she plans on staying for a while.' Severus thought with a scowl.

He stared down at the shards of glass on the floor, gratefully noting that at least it wasn't his vase that had been broken. Come to think of it, did he even own a vase?

"Sorry to wake you." Katherine smirked.

"Did you do that on purpose?" Severus croaked as he cleared the sleep from his eyes.

"Not really, but wouldn't it have been clever if I did?"

Katherine's voice held a mocking cheer to it. Severus inhaled an angry breath, and watched in groggy silence as she bent down and began to collect the shards of glass of the stone floor.

"Stop." Severus rose slowly from his place on the couch. He sneered at the imprint his body had made in the stiff fabric. For the love of Merlin his back hurt. "Let the house elves do it."

"I never had any house elves myself. I don't really like the idea of being waited on."

Severus scowled some more, decided that scowling was not going to get him anywhere with this woman, and stumbled across the room towards the wash room. He made sure to kick a few shards of glass as far out of the way as he went, hardly holding back his smirk.

He had just managed to splash his face with some cold water and begin to tackle his sleep mused hair when their was a resounding knock at the door.

"Do not touch that door!" Severus nearly screamed into the other room, his temper set on full force.

"I wasn't about to your highness!" Katherine barked back.

In the background Severus heard something else crash, and the fought the urge to slam his head against the porcelain sink. Unconsciousness was starting to look better and better...

No doubt the rumor mill was churning full force by now, and although the staff would be curious to see the truth behind rumor, Severus seriously doubted that few would actually dare to come down and invade his private territory to find out. Dumbledore maybe, but tomorrow being the first day of classes he was no doubt too swamped with work to visit. And he had meet Katherine already anyway. That fool Pomfrey would probably come down here as well, she never knew her place! But then again, she would be seeing Katherine later on to speak about work, so there was no reason for her to come down here either.

Tired of the guessing game Severus reached for the latch on the washroom door, and then swung it open violently. He was rewarding with a loud shriek, and then a equally loud swear. With a spiteful laugh, he turned to see Katherine clutching her nose, looking incredibly angry.

"I'm sorry, did the door hit you?" Severus bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"You could have broken my nose!" Katherine drew her hand away from her face and raised it as if she was prepared to slap him.

"It looks fine to me" Severus remarked cooly.

"Did you do that on purpose?"

"No, but wouldn't it have been clever if I did."

Katherine was fuming, but managed to draw her shaking hand back down to her side. The loud knocking continued once again, and Severus eyed the door with frustration.

"Are you going to answer it, or are you waiting for a written invitation?" Katherine leaned against the bookcase and glared at him.

Severus walked towards the door and then hesitantly opened it, trying his best to look angry and intimidating.

"Professor Snape"

Severus was not prepared for who was on the other side.

Minvera McGonagall, perhaps the biggest closest gossip of them all, but an intimidating creature none the less.

"I have just heard the strangest news, and I thought it was my duty to come down and investigate for myself."

"Professor McGonagall, I never though you much of a gossip." Severus said, his body blocking the doorway.

Minvera's face reddened the slightest bit, but she held her ground.

"I simply wished to congratulate you Severus, though this marriage is extremely out of character for you, I'm sure you have things under control."

Minvera tilted her head, trying to see around the potions masters lanky form and into the rooms beyond.

'Is she suspicious of us?' Severus thought for a moment, before dismissing the threat. 'Who wouldn't be suspicious."

"I'm guessing you'd like to meet my wife." Severus kept his voice flat and cold, but his throat almost closed up on the word 'wife.' That word was suddenly not very pleasant at all.

"What a deduction!" Katherine called from inside.

"Is that her now?" Minvera craned her neck even further to see around Severus. "She sounds young."

"She's not young." Severus snapped. "And you can meet her along with everybody else tonight. Now if you don't mind, I'm busy."

"I can see that." Minvera chuckled.

Severus inwardly cringed as he realized that he was still wearing yesterdays clothing, and it was very obviously slept in. Severus felt his arm being pushed aside as Katherine breezed into the hallway.

"You must be professor McGonagall!" She exclaimed. "Let me please apologize for my husband's rudeness. You must have known him for many years, so I'm sure that you're used to it."

Katherine smirked, while Severus fumed. Fake marriage or not, he was going to strangle her.

"My name is Katherine, but you may call me Kit if you like."

"Please, call me Minvera."

Katherine nodded, and smiled prettily.

"You are much more agreeable than I would have imagined." Minvera blurted out.

"You just don't know her well enough yet." Severus said crossly.

Katherine gave a musical laugh, and subtly jabbed Severus in the ribs.

"Stop that!" Severus hissed under his breath.

"Stop what?" Minvera looked confused.

"Nothing!" Katherine said sweetly. " If you don't mind Minvera, I have to get ready to met Madame Pomfrey, will I see you at dinner?"

"Of course dear." Minvera's faced brightened at the reminder of the students arrival. "I should get to work myself."

She turned towards Severus and gave a polite nod before making her way back towards the stairwell, shaking her head all the while.

"Good job Snape." Katherine hissed, once they were back inside with the door shut. "How are we supposed to pass ourselves off as a happily married couple if you keep insulting me."

"You insulted me first if I recall correctly." Severus spat.

Katherine huffed, and then glanced at the clock on the mantle. She was going to late for Madame Pomfrey at this rate.

"Which way is the hospital wing?" She asked.

Severus rattled off directions, looking none to pleased. He had intended to walk her there himself, but he didn't think meandering around the school in wrinkled and disheveled clothing was the best idea right now. Although, it might lend a certain air of credibility to their charade...

'Nevermind. I'll put a tracking spell on her first thing tomorrow.' He thought with a yawn.

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Severus was overjoyed to once again have his rooms to himself, at least for a little while. He was able to bathe in peace, and even look up a few potions that he intended to brew in his spare time. He thought about going up to his office, but shrugged off the thought. He was more than prepared for the start of classes tomorrow, and he did not like the thought of Katherine coming back in his absence. She would probably snoop around, and then go running to the dark lord with whatever she had found. Thankfully, anything of importance was in his office, which was heavily warded.

As the day went on Severus decided it was wise to visit the hospital wing after all. He had a sudden image of Madame Pomfrey hog tied on the floor while Katherine wrecked the place. He wouldn't put it past her.

Upstairs in the hospital wing he found the two of them fussing over one of Hagrid's rather exotic pets, giggling and carrying on like old friends. Madame Pomfrey eyed Severus coldly as he entered, but ever the nurturing type, urged him to take a drink of tea.

"You look too pale." She commented.

Katherine turned to look as well, but shrugged it off.

"Look at this little thing." She almost sang. "He had a stomach ache."

She held up a cat sized creature that looked like a mix between a dragon and a dog.

"What is that thing." Severus asked in disgust.

"I'm not sure actually." Katherine admitted. "But he's a lot better looking then..."

"Katherine!" Severus mentally threw up his hands.

Katherine burst into laugher, scaring the little creature, who began to wail like a child.

Severus bit his lip to keep from flying into a homicidal fit of rage, and Madame Pomfrey swooped in to rescue the creature.

"Hagrid will want to see this!" She exclaimed, busting out the room with the thing in her arms.

"Don't forget." Severus said in a cold whisper, "That our master is depending on us. If you mess this up, I'll be sure to make if clear to him that it was your childish behavior and no fault of mine."

Katherine's face suddenly fell.

"Yes." She said, her voice a dangerous whisper. "But it would your word against mine, wouldn't it? And I know for a fact that our master trusts me a great deal more than he trusts you."

Severus felt his chest tighten. She was probably right, and he didn't doubt she would turn him in either. He sneered, but decided that this was probably a time for silence.

"I'll see you before dinner then?" Katherine asked as he turned to leave.

Severus nodded, and then stormed from the room in his usual fashion.

"I am a fantastic liar." Katherine whispered to herself after he had gone. "A fantastic, fantastic liar."