Scavenger Hunt

Part 3

By Steph (awriter78hotmail.com)

Dedicated to my buds at the TWoP fic board. Thank you for all the support.

--------------------------

"I have to warn you," Kirk said. "Sometimes I have trouble fitting into clothes."

Luke gripped the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. How could a fifteen minute car ride with no traffic take so long?

"My mother," Kirk continued, oblivious, "always told me I had a swimmers' build. I don't really like swimming though. My skin doesn't really react well to chlorine. Sometimes I get rashes."

They were driving to the tuxedo shop. The owner of the shop, some third cousin of Patty's second ex-husband offered to stay open late so they could go shopping after Luke closed the diner.

"Sure, I remember Patty," the owner had said smarmily. "And sure you guys can come on over after hours. Any friend of Patty's is a friend of mine."

"I was thinking about joining a gym," Kirk said. Either he didn't pick up on Luke's unease or didn't care. "Although I should have joined one a long time ago. I know I can't bulk up much before the wedding. I just want to look good for Lulu. For the wedding night, you know. When I'm naked."

"Stop," Luke said. "Please." Why was this car trip taking so long?

"Sorry," Kirk said quietly, finally picking up on Luke's mood. "Can I ask you one last thing?"

Luke took a deep breath and tried to keep his voice even. "What is it, Kirk?"

"What if the tux doesn't fit?" he asked.

"I'm sure we can get it tailored." He turned into the parking lot. "Come on," he said. "Let's get this thing over with."

-----------------

Kirk and Luke looked through the tuxes while the owner hovered creepily around them. Kirk's first question to the owner had been a high-pitched, "What if the tux I like doesn't fit me?"

The owner, who quickly introduced himself as Charles, reassured Kirk that he was more than happy to tailor anything for him.

"How about this?" Luke asked. It was a very traditional tux, no frills.

Kirk looked at it and frowned, deep in thought. "I don't know."

"Why don't you try it on?" Charles said. "And remember we can do alterations."

"Right," Kirk said. He took the clothes and went into the dressing room.

Charles turned to Luke and said, "Your son seems a little anxious."

Luke didn't know if he was more insulted that the guy thought he looked old enough to have a son Kirk's age or that the guy thought Luke could have a son like Kirk.

Honestly, it was a toss up.

"He's not my son," Luke said through gritted teeth.

"Oh," was the only thing Charles said.

"What's taking him so long?" Luke asked.

"Well," Kirk yelled, still inside the dressing room. "The good news is that I like this, the bad news is that it doesn't quite fit."

"You can keep looking," Luke said. "I'm sure you'll find something else."

"It's okay," Kirk said, stepping out of the dressing room. "I know you're in a hurry."

"Oh yes," Charles said rubbing his hands together. "We'll need to start on the alterations immediately."

Luke looked down, feeling slightly guilty, and said, "Kirk, if you really want to keep looking, it's fine."

Well that was one reason he looked down. The other was so he wouldn't make eye contact with Kirk, standing in front of them with pants that were both too wide and too long. The jacket also draped over Kirk's slight frame in a very unflattering way. He looked like he was playing dress-up.

Luke was afraid that he was just exhausted and stressed enough to start laughing and he didn't think that Kirk would appreciate that.

"No, no I like this," Kirk said. "And I know Lulu will love this. When can the alterations be ready?"

Charles looked Kirk over. "While he," nodding at Luke, "looks for a tux of his own, I'll start measuring where it needs to be taken in. Let me get my measure. I can put a rush order on this."

Luke shook his head. "I have a suit. I don't need a tux."

"Well," Charles said waving his hand. "I'll be a few minutes here working on this so feel free to look around. We have a wide selection of dress shirts and pants."

Luke frowned, but what else was he going to do with his time? Maybe he did need some new dressy pants.

He went through the racks twice before coming to the conclusion that there was not one pair in his

size. That couldn't be right, could it? It had been a long time since he bought new clothes. He grabbed a pair of pants that looked like it might fit and went into the dressing room.

He had just zipped up the pair of pants (much too long and a little too big around the waist-- what kind of customer was this store catering to?) when he heard Kirk say, "Luke, what do you think?"

After changing back into his jeans, Luke walked out into the front area and took a look. "See, we're going to take some in here and here," Charles explained. Luke had to admit that it was a huge improvement.

"How did your pants fit?" Kirk asked him.

"They didn't," Luke said. "Way too long."

"That's no problem to alter," Charles said.

"It's okay," Luke said. "Really. I have a suit."

"Tell you what," Charles said. "Buy the pants and get them altered and I'll give you a 15% discount as well as a 15% discount on his tux."

"That's a good deal," Kirk said seriously. "And I like saving money."

"Fine," Luke reluctantly agreed.

-------------------

He was in the process of getting his pants measured for alterations (a very uncomfortable process) when a cell phone rang.

"That's me," Kirk said. "Lulu gave me a phone for my birthday."

"Yeah, he's right here," Kirk said into the phone. He handed Luke the phone. "It's Lorelai."

Luke shot Charles a look to stop fiddling with his pants. Charles didn't pick up on it.

"I hate cell phones," he said into the phone.

She laughed. "I'm sorry to interrupt the male bonding, but I was wondering if you can stop by the inn tomorrow."

He was trying to figure out when he'd be able to squeeze that in (he still hadn't looked at Lane's ceiling yet) when Charles, still altering, started to get a little too close to a certain area.

Way too close to a certain area.

"Watch where you're putting your goddamned hands," Luke warned angrily, forgetting for a second that he was still on the phone.

"You're all done," Charles said quickly. "I'll start ringing everything up."

"Sorry," he said to Lorelai.

"I know it's belated, but can I just add a 'dirty?'"

"I'd rather you didn't," he said dryly. "What do you need tomorrow?"

"Just finalizing the seating chart. And I wanted to show you some decorations. It'll just take twenty minutes."

"Fine," he said.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "Is someone sexually harassing you?"

"No," he said. "I'm fine."

"Good to hear," she said.

"I'll come by tomorrow," he promised.

"Thanks," she said.

He hung up and walked over to the cash register.

After Charles promised that he would call them in two days with the alterations, Kirk and Luke walked outside. Luke noticed that Kirk had a piece of paper in his hands.

"What's that?" Luke asked curiously.

"Job application," Kirk answered.

------------------

"You don't look so good," Lorelai said to him. "No offense."

"I was looking at suits until eleven last night. I had to wake up at four to open up. Cesar's coming in late because of a family emergency which not only means that I've got double duty, but that I've had to put an eighteen-year-old in charge while I'm here."

"I'll be quick," Lorelai said. "Or better yet, we can reschedule. Can we look over everything tonight?"

Tonight. He knew he was doing something tonight. Oh yeah.

"Can't," he said, shaking his head. "I have to go see Jackson and plan a bachelor party."

"Tell you what. I'll come by the diner for dinner and bring the paperwork with me. I'll take some pictures of the decorations and bring them too."

"That'll be great," he said. "Cesar will be there, so I won't be as busy."

And it was back to work.

--------------------

"I'm really glad you asked Jackson for help on the bachelor party," Sookie said to him when she answered the door. She was holding the baby. Luke tried not to look at him.

"Why?" he asked.

"He's had some problematic crops lately," Sookie said gravely. "He's spent a lot of time singing to them, playing them pop music, talking to them…"

"Talking to them?" Luke asked. "About…?"

"Anything," Sookie said. "That's why I'm happy to see you. He needs more human interaction. More two-sided conversations."

"Sure," Luke said. Who didn't?

"Oh, before I forget," she said. "I talked to Lulu. Gave her the names of some male strippers. There's this one guy who wears this…"

"Hey," Jackson said, joining them. Luke breathed a sigh of relief that that conversation had ended where it did.

"Hey," Luke said. "And thanks for helping her," he told Sookie.

"No problem," she said. "So, I'll let you guys get started and I'll bring out some cookies."

They sat down and Luke started talking. "He doesn't want strippers; he wants games and food. So I was thinking poker. Kirk wants a really small party including you and me, Andrew, Joe and for some reason that I haven't been able to figure out, Taylor. I was just going to make something easy like sandwiches…chips and dip…nothing too fancy. Will you invite everyone for me? Say eight o'clock Friday at the diner?"

"Got it," Jackson said making a note. "What else can I do?"

"If you can go to the market and buy some stuff…just some chips and drinks. Sodas and harder stuff too. I don't think Kirk's much of a drinker, but by Friday night I know I'll be."

"Sure," Jackson said. "Glad to be able to help. Let me know if you there's anything else you need help with."

"Thanks," Luke said standing up. "Let me know if there are any problems."

"I will," he said. "Hey, Luke, can I get your opinion on something?

"Sure."

"If you were a zucchini, do you think you'd prefer Britney or Christina?"

----------------

The next night, Kirk came to see him. "Charles called. The alterations are done. I'll pick them up tomorrow."

"Great," Luke said. "Thanks." One less trip for him.

Kirk didn't say anything. Luke waited for something, anything from him. Finally he said, "Is there something else I can do for you, Kirk?"

He looked up at Luke and almost shyly said, "Remember how we were talking before? About the honeymoon? I think I'm ready to get your advice now."

To be continued…