Scavenger Hunt

Part 5

By Steph

Summary: The wedding of the year…well it's not who you'd expect. The man very reluctantly put in charge…he's exactly who you expect.

A/N: I know there was already a "stripper in the diner" scene in the "Last Week Fights…" episode. I'm pretending, for this story's sake, that that scene never happened. Thanks.

I do not own anything related to Gilmore Girls.

------

His alarm went off Friday morning. He hit it, but didn't immediately start his morning routine. He didn't put a piece of whole wheat toast in the toaster, he didn't walk into the tiny bathroom to turn on the shower, he didn't look through his closet and make the very important decision of what color plaid he wanted to wear that day.

Instead, he lay in bed and his eyes closed again.

The last few days had been crazy. He continued to work his normal hours at the diner, forgoing meals, sleep and his sanity to also fix Lane's ceiling and to plan the wedding.

He had been groped by some guy fitting him for dress pants.

And best of all, he had given a sex talk to Kirk.

It had been quite a week…

And now it was Friday.

Tonight was the bachelor party and miracle of miracles, it was already planned and there was nothing left for him to worry about.

He had prepared sandwiches the day before. Jackson had presented him with bags of chips, dip, and some cartons of ice cream and had promised to bring fresh fruit and vegetable platters.

And best of all, five minutes before closing, Jackson had brought by some liquor.

Lots of liquor. It would come in handy.

Things were good. Sookie had everything food-related under control, Lorelai had the seating and decorations and all the girly-stuff under control.

Lane had all the music under control, but she wouldn't let him hear anything. Every time he asked her about the set list, she would grin at him and say, "It's a surprise."

That worried him a little.

But he wouldn't allow himself to worry right now. He should get up and start his day, but for now it felt good to relax and close his eyes.

The alarm beeped again. It was time to make a decision. Get his ass out of bed and start his day or sleep a little more.

He got out of bed.

-------

"Here you go," Jackson told him that night at the diner. "Cards and poker chips."

"Thanks," Luke said gratefully. "I should probably go check on the food--"

"Everything's organized," Jackson promised. "Oh and I have a special surprise for later."

"What kind of surprise?" Luke asked warily.

"It's a good surprise," Jackson said. "Trust me."

There was a knock on the door. Luke opened it. The guest of honor.

"Thank you for doing this for me," Kirk said. He moved to hug Luke.

"It's nothing," Luke said gruffly, sidestepping him. "Want a drink?"

"What do you have?" Kirk asked.

"I'll make you a Melville special," Jackson volunteered. "It's a little bit of everything."

"Do you think that's such a good idea?" Luke asked.

"Three Melvilles coming up," Jackson said ignoring him and pulling out the bottles and glasses.

"Lulu's at a strip club now," Kirk confided to Luke. "I hope tomorrow I'll measure up. You know. When I'm naked."

"Here you go," Jackson said just in time, placing three shot glasses of…well something in front of each of them. Kirk sniffed it and cautiously took a sip. "It's good," he said, not sounding truly convinced.

"Not like that," Jackson criticized. "Watch." He clinked his glass against Luke's and then they each downed their shots. Luke had never been a huge drinker, preferring plain old beer to anything harder, but if there was any occasion that warranted hard drinking, it was this one.

"Wow," Luke said, wincing. "Strong. What's in it?"

"It's a family secret," Jackson said. "Finally a benefit to having so many rednecks in the family. Want another?"

"Not now," Luke said. "Maybe once everyone gets here."

"Let me try," Kirk said. He downed the shot. He swallowed and immediately started coughing.

"It's good," he said hoarsely, giving Jackson a thumbs-up.

"Soda or lemonade, Kirk?" Luke asked.

"Lemonade," Kirk said. "With a flexi-straw."

"Coming right up," Luke said.

-------

"Well frankly I'm a little hurt, Kirk," Taylor said folding his arms against his chest. "The soda shoppe would have been a wonderful place for a gentleman's event such as this. I mean sure the diner is festive in its own idiosyncratic way, I suppose, but the soda shoppe is clean and new and honestly, what says celebration like a Doose world-famous banana split? I wouldn't have even charged you for extra whipped cream."

"That's awfully generous of you," Luke muttered. He shuffled the cards.

"I wouldn't be bragging about your bananas," Jackson said. "I don't know who your supplier is, but they should be executed for their puny bananas."

Joe snickered. "Yeah, Taylor, you should know that no one likes a puny banana."

Andrew started laughing at that. As did Jackson. Joe was almost turning purple from laughing so hard. Kirk was staring at his cards, but was smiling too. Luke coughed, covering a laugh.

Taylor fumed. "This kind of talk would never be allowed in the soda shoppe. It's a family place."

"I'll go get the sandwiches," Luke said, happy to excuse himself. "Jackson, you can deal. I'll sit out this hand."

He busied himself with setting out the sandwiches and potato chips. He could hear people arguing as he walked out to the front of the diner. Joe and Kirk were arguing about cards.

"You do not have a better hand," Joe said exasperated.

"Yes, I do," Kirk said. "I was online all day today reading about poker in preparation. I'm an expert. Ask me anything."

"Okay," Joe said. "Here's a question. What kind of bizarro world do you live in where your hand would beat my hand?"

"Luke," Kirk called, as he often did whenever he had a question. "Whose hand is better? Mine or Joe's?"

Luke finished arranging the sandwiches and went back to where the guys were playing. He looked at both hands and said, "Sorry Joe. Kirk's right."

Kirk beamed. Joe frowned, pushing the chips over to Kirk. "Figures," he muttered. "We all know that Kirk's Luke's favorite."

Luke narrowed his eyes. "Put the cards away and get some food."

"Hey, Jackson," Andrew said. "Can you refresh our drinks?"

"You bet!" Jackson said. He went in back to concoct more drinks. He refilled Andrew's glass, placing another shot in front of Luke. "You look like you need one."

"Thanks," he said. He considered it for a second. This would only be his second one. If he ate a sandwich and drank nothing else but water for the rest of the night, he'd be fine. He downed the shot. Jackson downed his too.

------

After the sandwiches, after another few hands of poker, there was a knock on the door.

"Who else is coming?" Kirk asked. "Is someone else invited?"

Luke opened the door. There stood two young women, unfamiliar to him. They were both dressed in long coats and boots. "I'm sorry," Luke said. "We're closed."

"You don't look like you're closed," the blonde said looking at the bags of chips and empty glasses on the counter.

"We are," Luke said. "Private function."

"Yes," Kirk said proudly. "My bachelor party."

"A bachelor party," the brunette said to her friend. "Looks like we're in the right place then, huh."

"I'll say," the blonde said. "Hit it."

Her friend hit the switch on a small stereo that she was carrying and placed it on the floor. The two girls both took off their coats to expose…well they weren't exactly naked, but they weren't exactly dressed either.

"Jeez." Luke muttered, averting his eyes. "Okay, that's enough of that." He turned off the stereo.

"I disagree," Joe said.

"Me too," Andrew said. Kirk just stared, openmouthed.

"They can't do this here," Luke reminded them. "This is a place where people eat. Did you order these strippers?" he asked Kirk. "Cause when I asked you if you wanted them, you said no. If I had known, I would have found another place for a…a performance. Or we could have gone to a strip club."

"We don't belong to a strip club," the blonde said. "We freelance and we were paid for in advance." She batted her eyelashes at Luke. "A strip show and a lap dance for the groom-to-be."

"That's me," Kirk said sounding both excited and petrified.

"You get a lap dance," she said looking at Kirk briefly, before turning her gaze back to Luke. "If you wanted one too," she purred, "I'm sure we'd be able to work something out."

"Look Miss--," Luke began uncomfortably.

"I'm Holly and this is Daisy."

"This is a diner," Luke emphasized. "My diner. We do not have strip shows in the diner."

"I would hope not," Taylor said. "Do you know the health codes that you'd be jeopardizing?"

"Yes, I know," Luke said glaring. "Which is why I'm saying no."

"Good," Taylor said, satisfied. "These women even being here must be breaking some ordinance…"

"We can always go up to Luke's apartment," Joe suggested.

"No," Luke said.

"A diner, huh?" Daisy said. "That could be fun. Hey, Holly, have you seen those diners where they have the waitresses in miniskirts and roller skates?"

"I've seen those," Holly said. "You don't have those, do you?"

"No," Luke said, trying to keep his eyes on the ground.

"You should hire us," Holly said flirtatiously. "We look very good in miniskirts and are very, very athletic."

"And we're very good with customers," Daisy said. "Very very good."

"You would need to talk to the city about instituting that," Taylor mentioned helpfully. "And I would insist on you setting them up with health insurance. Roller skating can be dangerous."

"I would come if you had miniskirt-wearing, roller skating waitresses," Joe said to Luke. "And I don't even like your cooking."

"If you're hiring, I'd be interested," Kirk said to Luke, "Well, I'd wear pants of course, but I know how to roller skate too."

"I'm not hiring anyone," Luke said.

Luke wondered who had hired these women. He quickly eliminated Kirk as a suspect, based on his reaction to their presence. Taylor wouldn't have of course.

He remember what Jackson had said earlier about a surprise. Of course. "Come with me," he said to him. Jackson nodded and followed him in back.

"This is your surprise?" Luke asked. "You could have left it a surprise for Kirk. But next time you plan to have strippers in my diner, tell me in advance."

"I didn't hire them," Jackson protested. "I'm married."

"That doesn't mean anything," Kirk said. Luke and Jackson both turned, not realizing that he had followed them in.

"Of course it means something," Jackson said, his voice high-pitched. "You don't even know strippers if you're happily married."

"Not true," Kirk protested. "Sookie knows lots of strippers. She's the one who found some for Lulu's party."

Luke groaned. Jackson gaped at Kirk for a minute, before moving closer to Kirk.

"For God's sake," Luke muttered. "You're not going to hit him."

"I might," Jackson said. "Yep, I think I will." He walked even closer to Kirk, who had started walking backwards, looking like he was about to wet his pants.

Jackson curled his hand into a fist and Kirk yelped, grabbing onto Luke, the sudden movement pushing him forward, leaving Luke's jaw the unfortunate recipient of Jackson's fist.

"Damn it," Luke said, his eyes watering from pain. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He directed the question to both of them.

"I'm sorry," Kirk said, sounding like he was going to cry. "I get jumpy when people come after me raising their fist."

"And what's wrong with you?" Luke said to Jackson. "You know he didn't mean anything by it."

"Luke, I'm so sorry," Jackson said. "Let me get you some ice." He went into the walk-in.

"Go back in front," Luke said to Kirk. Kirk meekly obeyed.

Jackson came back with an ice pack. "It's swelling."

"Of course it's swelling," Luke said irritably. He grabbed the pack roughly, angrily from Jackson and glared at him.

"I'm really sorry," he said. "I know I probably had a few more Melvilles than I should've. I've just been so stressed with some of my crops. And Davey's been colicky, so we haven't been sleeping much. And I know he didn't mean anything. I just---"

Kirk anxiously walked back into the kitchen, not looking at either of them. "Joe's the one who hired Daisy and Holly. They're friends of his cousin. They're going to go perform at his house and Andrew's going too. They invited me and I think I may want to go. Because this is going to be my only bachelor party."

"Go," Luke said.

"Thanks and sorry again," Kirk said. He started walking before he turned back around. "I forgot to give you this." He handed a slip of paper to Luke.

"What's this?" he asked. He pressed the ice harder on his jaw.

"That's Holly's phone number," Kirk said in awe. "She told me that if you ever want a lap dance to call her. She said she wouldn't even charge you."

Luke closed his eyes.

-------

Because he was feeling so guilty about hitting Luke, Jackson felt the need to have another Melville special. Luke declined.

Luke walked him home, because at this point, Jackson seemed very out of it. "I'll walk you home," he said. "But you touch me again and I'll have no problem decking you back."

"Oh dear," Sookie said when she opened the door. "What happened to you?"

"Too many Melville specials," Jackson slurred. "I'm going to bed."

"Alright," Sookie said. "I'll bring you up some water in a second."

To Luke, she said, "This is my fault. His crops haven't been looking too good lately and I told him to relax and have a few tonight to take his mind off of things."

He shrugged. "Thanks for walking him home," Sookie continued. "Do you want something? Come inside for a second and I'll get you some water too. You look a little worse-for-wear too."

He stepped inside and under the light, she saw his jaw. "Oh my god. Your jaw!" she said, her hand on her mouth. "Did Jackson hit you?"

"He wasn't aiming for me," Luke said.

"Promise me something," Sookie said. "Promise me you'll take some time off after the wedding."

Luke held his jaw, which had started to ache again. That sounded like a good idea. "I promise."

To be continued…