Chapter Four

A Letter to Remus Lupin

Professor Lupin

I know I'm not supposed to know that you are expecting a house guest this summer but I couldn't help over hearing as the matter was discussed by my bed when I was in the hospital wing. I don't know what the headmaster has told you but he has the Dursleys confining me to the attic of their home. The Weasleys and the Grangers have all sent me food, life essentials, and books (though I'm pretty sure 'mione considers those as life essentials). The books from the Weasley's are all about Quidditch (Ron) pranks (the twins) curse breaking (Bill) and Dragons (Charlie). 'Mione sent me a rather large variety; everything from transfiguration, to potions, to DADA, to charms and history. I've used one of the charms to make sure that you are the only one able to read this letter. It would be very bad if Voldemort, one of his minions, Dumbledore, or even Sirius were to read this letter.

This summer, while still only a couple of weeks old, has been quite… educational. I'm not sure if I should list things in the order that I learned about them or in the order of importance. The only problem is what you consider important. For some learning of how Dumbledore betrayed my trust might not be very important, while discovering just how powerful I really am would be. I guess the one main ruling factor in everything is the desire I've always had to have a family. A family that would care for me and protect me from harm. I thought I had found one, well as close to one as I could hope, in the headmaster but I discovered this summer that he is just as bad if not worse then the Dursleys. (Which led to me breaking and repairing one of the windows here in the attic, without my wand.) I know I told you back in third year that the Dursleys really weren't all that bad and that they had never actually hurt me but I have to tell you now sir that I lied. I lied my bloody arse off. When I was growing up being locked in the closet was more of a reward then a punishment, because at least that meant Vernon wasn't hurting me. Please don't tell Siri about this, they haven't touched me since Hagrid brought my Hogwart's letter and I know he would do something rash if he found out. Not just to the Dursleys either, it turns out that the headmaster knew exactly how the Dursleys treated me when I was growing up. If Sirius knew that not only did he not do anything to help me but that he tried to blackmail me with the information, then I'm sure he would try to hurt Dumbledore, and he needs all the help he can get to stay free. Also that would put a damper on all the plans that Hermione's currently concoting for her revenge on the old bastard.

The other thing I realised this summer was that I no longer needed to long for a family. I had already created the next best thing, a human dragon clan. It started forming on the train ride to Hogwart's in my first year when I became best friends with Ron. Then at Halloween Hermione joined Ron as a member of my 'family'. That summer when the Weasleys rescued me from the Dursleys they (the Weasleys) became a part of it, and this summer Hermione's parents joined. 'Mione says they were absolutely livid when they found out about the Dursleys and Dumbledore.

The only two people who I couldn't figure out when they went from friend to family were you and Siri. I wanted to say that it was at the end of third year but I already trusted you completely on the train to Hogwart's. I figured it out though, you've always been family. I can remember laying in the closet dreaming that I was on the back of some great black animal or on the shoulders of someone with sandy brown hair. Nothing could go wrong in these dreams, everything was right in the world and I didn't have a care in the world. These dreams were my favourites along with dreams of flying around in the night sky and sitting on someone's lap listening to them read out loud to me. When I was lonely I would pretend that instead of lying on my cot I was actually on a hard strong chest and that two sets of arms were about to wrap around me and hold me tight until I fell asleep. I knew that these people weren't my parents but I knew that these people loved me and wouldn't let anything harm me. I did this so often that I knew these arms like I had known my parents' and I could even imagined how the people smelled; like fallen leaves, dew soaked grass, and firecrackers, with the slight undertone of wet fur. You two, even though you couldn't physically be there, protected me. You gave me hope that somewhere out there somebody loved me. On the dark nights when all I wanted was to stop living, I would remember that there was someone out there that cared if I made it to my next birthday, because there was no way that I could have made up the feeling of being loved. You two were my family, even when I didn't know who you were.

I just wanted to make sure that you knew that you have been a part of my family, my clan for as long as I can remember, just in case He finds me this summer and I don't get to tell you in person. Tell Siri as much, or as little of this as you think is a safe, you know him much better than I do. Please take care of yourself, and Siri, you two mean the world to me.

Love Harry

A/N Sorry for the amount of time it took me to put this chapter out I had trouble getting it up to my standards. I want to give an extra special thank-you to Jaded-1 your comment about repeating the correspondence part really helped me figure this out, I simply couldn't figure out how to get Harry to tell Sirius and Remus everything. And don't worry I'm being extra careful not to 'short-circuit' the fic.

Thanks to everyone else that reviewed, (Willow Seras, Carrie, unknown, Cynical Slytherin, and last but not least Beth)

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