"Are you happy?" Janeway leaned against the sickbay wall, holding back tears.  "Can you imagine what those people are thinking after seeing us like that?"

            Chakotay looked mildly guilty, waiting for the doctor to get around to setting his arm.  There had been too many injuries during Tom's last stunt, and the EMH was busy.  "I'm sorry."

            "I'm having a bad day." She added, nodding to herself.  "And nobody seems to notice.  Everybody thinks I'm fine with it."

            "I'm sorry."

            "I thought today might quiet down and I could relax, but no!"

            "I'm sorry."

            "Well stop being sorry and do something about it!"

            Chakotay winced.  "I would… but it'll have to wait until this arm gets fixed up… don't you care about that?"

            Janeway slid down the wall until she was sitting on the ground, a miserable look on her face.  "I just want some help."

            "I guess that's what I'm here for." He looked ceiling-ward, trying to ignore the steady pain.  "What did you have in mind?"

            "Just a little time off." She held up two fingers to emphasize how little she was asking for.

            "Sorry about the wait Commander." The EMH finally appeared with a medical tricorder.  "Oooh… that's nasty." He commented unnecessarily upon examining the wounded arm.  "What'd you do, arm-wrestle the captain?"

            "If you're trying to make me laugh," Janeway mumbled from her spot on the floor.  "You might as well give up now."

            "Very well." The doctor conceded.  "If you don't mind, I'm going to sedate you now, Commander."

            "It's just a broken arm…" Chakotay argued.  "And I need to get back to my post as soon as possible.  Do you have to?"

            "You're also suffering from head trauma and a variety of other ailments that I would attribute to smashing into a wall at high speeds.  Don't argue with me, I know what I'm doing."

            The patient sighed.  "We'll figure something out later, Kathryn."

            The EMH applied a sedative and Chakotay drifted to sleep.  Janeway stayed on the floor, where she soon fell asleep herself.

            "I didn't know this medical facility had become an inn." The hologram snorted.  "Computer, activate log."

            "Activated."

            "Er-hem.  Today has become a busy one after all.  I've treated more patients over the last couple hours than I have in a few weeks.  Also, the captain has parked herself in a rather inconvenient place on the floor, where she's sleeping.  This kind of erratic behavior is somewhat common from her, but I wish she'd just opted for a nap in her own quarters.  How can I blame her for wanting to be close to me, though?  What would she do without all my insights and advice?  Voyager would practically fall out of space!"

            Seven of Nine could almost cry.  "It's so difficult."

            "What happened now?" Neelix asked, drying some pots and pans.

            "I continually misinterpret everything.  And the cake was utterly destroyed."

            The Talaxian felt her pain.  "Maybe it's just the wrong time for you to be exploring this kind of relationship?"

            "Why not?  There has to be something else I could try?  Suggestions, Neelix, suggestions!"

            "Well," He grinned.  "There is one recipe that never fails."

            "Intriguing.  Should I get the oven mitt?"

            Unlike Seven, B'Elanna could cry.  She was openly weeping into her hands.  "Why does my stupid husband keep crashing the ship… into nothing?  Why does he torment me?  Why is everything in engineering… broken?"

            It was true… everything was malfunctioning… except the warp drive.  (A/N: We need to keep that operational for plot purposes.)  There were only three people with any kind of expertise working in the area after all the accidents.

            "We've got a fire over here!" One of the remaining engineers yelled from behind a station.

            "I know…" B'Elanna sobbed.  "And one over there… and over there!  And right here… OW!  There's a fire over here!"

            "My console's short circuiting!" The only other person cried out.

            "That's it… I so quit!"

            Tuvok addressed the replicator in his quarters.  "Access Tuvok file three." He requested soberly.  Startlingly, a horde of striped snakes slithered out of the replicator and onto the floor.  As a mass, they wriggled to Tuvok's door (which opened) and they escaped quickly.

            Tuvok watched about five hundred of them follow this path.  "Dang.  This isn't file three."

            "Eaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhh!" A frightened voice echoed down the corridor.

            "Perhaps I should do something about this." Tuvok wondered, exiting his quarters to find some unconscious crewmembers on the ground.  "Hm.  It appears I have unleashed a herd of violent coral snakes.  Dang." He pressed his comm-badge.  "Captain?"

            "…That's Super Captain until tomorrow morning." She answered groggily.

            "Super Captain, we have a situation." He continued.

            "Explain."

            "Coral snakes are rampaging across deck three."

            "Poisonous?"

            "Extremely."

            There was a moment of complete silence.  "Tuvok… why are poisonous coral snakes rampaging across deck three?"

            "It appears the replicator has not been fixed since the 'button' incident this morning.  We should make haste and begin some course of action, or the whole ship will be overrun."

            "Get the security team on it."

            "You want me to go… snake hunting?" The EMH clasped his hands, excited.  "What happened to your security team?"

            "It has become apparent that they all have phobias against small wriggly creatures… very illogical.  I believe it would be more efficient to take you along so you can administer antidotes to the fallen crewmen."

            "Alright!  I'd be happy to help!" The doctor said, replicating some snake tongs, and two cowboy hats.  "You'd better put this on." He offered one of them to the Vulcan.

            "Why?"

            "I'm just getting into the spirit of things, Commander.  Now let's go wrangle some snakes!"

            "Oh, Crewman Harry!" Seven appeared on the bridge with a large covered plate.  "I'm back."

            "Oh no.  Go hit on somebody else… please?" Harry, (buttonless) tried to ignore her.

            "I have already spent too much time on this project to switch my focus." She explained.  "Now look what I brought this time!"

            "No munchies on the bridge." Tom pointed towards the rule sheet again.  "And no Borgs." There was a new scribble underneath the official rules that read: 'NO BORGS ON THE BRIDGE!'

            "I am no longer a Borg." Seven snarled.  "And this is not a munchie," She whipped the lid off of her plate, revealing a jello sculpture that must have taken hours to form.

            "Wow!" Harry noticed the sugary treat.  "That looks just like Voyager!  That's pretty neat!"

            "Yes," Seven became jolly.  "We are here." She gestured to a small carving that represented the bridge.  "And there you are!"

            He leaned in to look, and sure enough, there was a little yellow jello Harry sitting in the gelatin bridge.  "This is amazing!  But I just ate and am stuffed."

            "But there's always room for jello!  How about a warp nacelle?"

            "Maybe later… it is a really great job!"

            "And for the time being," Chakotay ordered.  "Put it somewhere safe, where it won't get ruined next time Tom stops the ship."

            Seven looked indignant.  "Tom Paris doesn't ruin my baking… you do.  Just make sure you don't roll on my Starship Voyager."

            "I thought it was mine now?" Harry asked hopefully.

            "Oh… yes, I brought it for you." She remembered.  "Does this mean we're on for Saturday night now?"

            "Wha?"

            "Our big dinner date, Harry…" She said.  "I'm cooking up a storm!"

            "…"

            "Ooh… feisty one!" The EMH grinned, unafraid, at a coral snake he had captured.  "I'll name it Alfred."

            "Must you give names to all the snakes?" Tuvok complained, rounding up a few more of the creatures.

            "Of course!  This one is… Betty!" He held 'Betty' up to his face as she tried to bite his holographic nose.

            "They're all just going to be destroyed in the incinerator, so I don't see the point in affixing titles."

            "Well I do… how's it going Charley?"

            "And then," Seven flew the jello starship in a little circle.  "Voyager defeated the Kazon!"

            "Haha!" Harry was enjoying the gelatin puppet show.  "Do the one where I save the day!"

            "No, do the one where we fought the Borg Queen!" Janeway, (and the rest of the bridge crew, except for Tom) was absorbed in watching Seven perform recreations of past missions with her sculpture.

            "I would prefer to do today." Seven looked down her nose at the crowd.  "Voyager was flying through space," She began, sailing the model around.  "When suddenly Tom Paris' eyes grew wide!" She jerked it roughly.  The jello wobbled gleefully.

            Everybody started laughing.

            "And then Chakotay rolled on some dessert I had made." She frowned.

            "I swear I'm not doing that on purpose…" He sniffed.

            "This is just so detailed!" Harry took the platter.  "I mean… I can see a little Captain Janeway right here… and Chakotay… and Tom Paris."

            Suddenly, Tom Paris' eyes grew wide.  He snapped on the belt and pressed the emergency stop button.  Everybody smashed into the front of the ship, screaming.

            "Transporter room, beam up these coordinates!" He sped out of the bridge, an excited look on his face.

            "I hate him…" Harry decided at the bottom of the heap.  "I really hate him."

            "NO… where is Voyager… where is Voyager?!" Seven tried to get up to look for her creation, but was pinned again.

            As if it weren't bad enough, a hatch above the crumpled bridge crew opened up and Tuvok's snakes fell through.

            "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Janeway scrambled.  "It's the snakes!  Don't get bit!"

            "Too late!"

            "OUCH!"

            Harry was apart from the group, wrestling with a heavy snake.  "Get it off me, get it off me!"

            "What happens if you do get bit?" Chakotay wondered, looking guilty.

            "Don't tell me you got bit…" The captain despaired.

            "I didn't say that… necessarily."

            "Okay then," She kicked an advancing snake across the bridge.  "I'll tell you.  YOU DIE!"

            "Oh." Chakotay promptly fell over, squishing the last bit of the gelatin Voyager.

            "Get it off!" Harry was on his back now, holding the snake's fangs away from his face.

            "Mr. Kim…" Seven watched the match with exasperation.  "That one's dead."

            Harry stopped struggling and discovered it was true.  "Oh.  I knew that."

            "However, that one is not."

            "Argh!" A snake attacked Harry from behind.  This time it was a real wrestling match.

            "That's better." Seven nodded.  A few snakes bit her at once.

            "Seven, they got you!" Janeway was standing on her chair, fending off the horde.

            "My nano-probes make me immune." The Borg bounced on her heels, looking pleased with herself.

            "Where's Tom when you do need him?" Harry suddenly found himself fighting three violent snakes.

            "Help!" Janeway couldn't come up with anything more profound to say as she began to lose the battle.

            "There you are!" The EMH dropped through the hatch, looking at the snakes lovingly.  "This was George's idea wasn't it?"

            "Who's George?" Seven queried, half a dozen snakes climbing up her ankles.

            "One of these little fellas." The doctor started scooping masses of the wiggling creatures into his already heavy bag.  "He's a bit of a ringleader."

            "Get it off!" Harry had both his fists around his snake's neck, strangling ruthlessly.

            "Oh, there's George!" The doctor looked relieved.  "Now don't run away again you little scallywag!"

            "Get these ones, Doctor!" The captain (who was now perched on the very top of her chair) pointed.

            "Very well." He gathered them easily.  "Frederick, you shouldn't scare the captain like that.  Tsk, tsk."

            "That tickles." Seven pushed some snakes off her knees, getting bit dozens of times in the process.

            "Oh NO!" The EMH stopped in his snake-catching tracks.  "Chakotay's dead!"

            "What!?" Harry, Seven, and the captain jumped.

            "This is terrible!" The hologram continued.  "I was hoping he'd make it back to Earth!"

            "Noooo…" Janeway wailed, wringing her hands.  "Why did I have to be so mean to him all the time?"

            "Such a waste." The EMH picked up the dead snake Harry had been battling.  "Poor Chakotay."

            Blink, blink.  "You mean that's Chakotay?" Janeway looked at the deceased snake, confused.

            "Sure!" The doctor said cheerfully.  "And that one's Harry… and there's Tom Paris… and Seven of Nine-Hundred."

            "So what about the real Chakotay?" Harry was backing away from the scene nervously.

            "Oh him?" The doctor used one of his hypo-sprays and injected the fallen commander casually.  "He's fine."

            "What happened in here?" Tom returned, smiling brightly.

            "Just a war, Lieutenant.  Nothing for someone like you to worry about." Janeway grumbled.

            "Well, look at this!" He held up a rotten banana peel proudly.  "What are the odds that I'd find three great treasures on the same day?"

            "Less than the odds of me strangling you right now."

            "Haha." He disregarded the threat.  "You people should really get some seatbelts, you know?"