"Snakes suck." Tuvok decided, throwing the last bag of writhing snakes into the incinerator.  It had taken practically all of Voyager's resources to round up all the intruders.

            "WAIT!" The EMH became frenzied.  "Was that the last bag, Tuvok!?"

            "Indeed." Tuvok looked relieved.

            "Oooh… Seven of Nine-Hundred was in there!" The hologram grieved.  "I wanted to keep her…"

            "Maintaining dangerous animals on a Federation Starship is strictly prohibited, Doctor."

            "Seven of Nine-Hundred wasn't dangerous… just misunderstood.  Sort of like the real Seven, and you didn't discriminate against her!"

            "The real Seven didn't rampage across Voyager biting people in an animal rage."

            The hologram took a moment to think about the Vulcan's last statement.  "You're right… we'd never be that lucky."

            "I didn't mean to make that sound like a good thing…"

            "How could Seven's biting people not be a good thing?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking.

            Little did everybody know that one sneaky, wiggly, slimy snake had escaped capture… and had a plan for REVENGE!  Bwahahahaahahahahahaha!  REVENGE!  Mweeeheeheeeheee!  REVENGE!  Kyahahahahaahahahahah!

…

…

            …Okay… maybe it was just sort of crawling around minding its own business… but that's frightening in it's own way, isn't it?  No?  Let's stick with its plan for REVENGE, then.  Everybody happy?

            She was ticking off the points on her fingers.  "You're off duty.  You're not on the bridge.  I am wearing a striking (not to mention revealing) dress… what is the problem then?"

            "Seven…" Harry was going to explain this as carefully as possible.  "I never invited you to my quarters."

            Seven became distraught.  "Your conclusion is flawed.  I do not need to be invited to show up."

            "So it seems."

            She kept staring.

            "Did you bring food again?" He shrank under her persistent glaring.

            "Affirmative."

            "Did you bring… that button Tuvok gave you earlier?"

            "Naturally."

            "Then… come on in!" He smiled warmly and welcomed her into his quarters… which was actually quite a mess.

            "I see Lieutenant Paris' full stops have wreaked havoc upon your room." She nodded.

            "Huh?  Oh… no… it's always like this." He shrugged.  "I'm going to get straight to the point, Seven.  I want that button!  I will not be the lowest ranking member on this ship."

            She grinned.  "First you will have to eat this fleet of starships… I mean… brownies!"

            "Then you'll give me the button?"

            "Then… I'm sure I'll think of something appropriate."

            "Oh no." Harry waved his hands.  "They have holodeck programs for that, you know…"

            "But holograms cannot appreciate my…" She paused intentionally.  "Cooking skills!"

            He winced.  "This is so wrong."

            "It's the Starship Reliant!  And it's looking for a docking port!" Seven began a brownie's flight, smiling maniacally.

            "You have a Tom Paris in your hair." Janeway chuckled.

            "Huh?" Chakotay was still quite drowsy from the doctor's snake poison antidote.

            "Want me to get it?"

            "Fine."

            She picked a little jello figurine out of his hair and studied it lazily.  "How did she make this anyway?  It's the spitting image!  Except this Tom isn't crashing the ship every five minutes."

            "I resent that!" Tom murmured from the front of the bridge.

            "It's a shame everything else got squished." The captain shook her head at the gelatin stain beneath the view screen.  There were little snake tracks criss-crossing through it.

            "If you're going to blame that on me," Chakotay defended himself sleepily.  "Keep in mind that I've gotten the worst out of Mr. Paris' treasure hunt.  I've completely ruined three uniforms in as many hours."

            "Oh, what a shame."

            "And I broke my arm… and those snakes bit me… I just want to go to bed."

            "Now what did I just tell you?" Tom pointed at his 'no flirting' rule, looking cross.

            "That's not what he meant!" Janeway snapped angrily.  "Right, Commander?"

            "Would you lock me in the brig if I said it was?" Chakotay shook his head suddenly, clearing his mind from the EMH's drugs.  "Uh… I mean…"

            "Great.  You're completely out of it, aren't you?" Janeway threw her hands in the air.  "You said we'd get a chance to talk about me taking a day off."

            "Sure, I'll help you take it off…" He cringed, trying to hold fleeting thoughts together.  "I meant, I'll help you take the day off."

            "Uh-huh.  So… when?"

            "Uh… uh… what were we talking about again?"

            "Try to concentrate… you've still got quite a shift ahead of you." The captain sighed.  "Now… when should I take a vacation day?"

            "Tomorrow?" He proposed, triumphantly remembering the word.

            "That's not enough notice…"

            "Of course I notice you!" He misinterpreted again.

            "That's… not what I said.  I think the doctor overdid it."

            "No… I'm okay… I'm okay now."

            Janeway became sorrowful.  "I think I've pushed you too much today.  I should have let you go after your first trip to sickbay."

            "It's been a bad day for everybody."

            "You're right."

            "Okay, that's the last brownie.  Where's my button?" Harry was busily cleaning the chocolate off his face.

            "You have such a great appetite, Harry!" Seven admired.  "I didn't think any normal human would be capable of devouring twenty-four brownies!"

            "Well I did it.  Button please?"

            The Borg smiled seductively.  "You're going to have to find it."

            The former-ensign despaired.  "This isn't fair!  Where is it?"

            "Neelix said that behaving playfully is attractive.  I have devised this clever little game to see if he is correct."

            "Is it in your left hand?" He prayed.

            "No."

            "Is it in your right hand?"

            "No.  You have no imagination."

            "Is it… in your hair?"

            "No.  That would be pointless."

            "Please tell me it's not in your dress…"

            She nodded gleefully.  "It is!  Good guessing, Harry!"

            "Okay…" He gulped.  "Can I have it?"

            "NO!  You're going to have to get it!" She giggled, clearly thinking she was irresistibly clever.

            "I don't want to…"

            "Janeway to all senior officers." Harry's comm-badge chirped.  "Please report to the conference room immediately."

            The Borg and the brownie champion stared at each other momentarily.

            "Dang," Harry said sarcastically.  "Guess I'll just have to pass on your game.  Duty calls!"

            Everybody had collected around the conference table.

            B'Elanna was slugging Tom in the arm… over and over and over.  "You… ruined… my… precious… engineering!" She complained, punctuating each word with a swift punch.

            "Ow." Tom assumed an innocent aura.  "Stop doing that!  Want me to tell you a joke I read on a bubble gum wrapper?  OW!  It'll cheer you up!  OW!!"

            "Blinkity… blinky… blink…" Tuvok repeated to himself, hypnotized after an entire day of staring at his console.

            Harry twiddled his thumbs, averting his eyes from a rather amorous Seven of Nine.  She kept staring.

            "Stay focused…" Chakotay repeated to himself, feeling his brain cloud up every so often.

            The EMH sat calmly, observing the insanity surrounding him.

            "STOP BEING CRAZY!" Janeway began her speech.  Everybody discontinued their unusual behavior.  "Thank you.  I called everyone here to inform you all that I've planned a day off for myself.  If there are any concerns about this, please bring it up now."

            Everybody stared blankly.

            "So… everybody's fine with this?" The captain continued.

            Everybody stared blankly.

            "Because if you don't say something now, you won't get a chance later!" She warned them.

            "Okay." The doctor spoke for the silent crowd.  "It's not really a big deal.  We'll all be fine."

            "Not a big deal?" Janeway seemed disappointed.  "Nobody's going to miss me?"

            "What'd you say?" Chakotay looked surprised.

            "I was just hoping someone would miss me."

            "Wait a minute," He shook his head.  "Are you sure?  Say it one more time."

            "I was asking if you would miss me."

            The commander looked dumbfounded.  "Uh… okay.  Whatever you say." He grabbed a very shocked Janeway by the shoulders and started kissing her.

            "I didn't catch the suggestive remark!" Seven wailed.  "I always miss it!"

            "There wasn't one…" Harry cringed.  "This is just weird."

            "HEY!" The captain yelled.  "What are you doing, Chakotay?!"

            "But you said…" Chakotay looked truly mystified.

            "I said to miss me, you fool!" She glared.

            "I'm trying!" He kissed her again, and this time her entire chair fell over backwards.

            "Oh." The doctor realized.  "I can explain the peculiar behavior we're witnessing in our first officer."

            "Please do." B'Elanna sat a little higher in her chair, trying to see where the command team had landed.

            "Overdose." The EMH looked embarrassed.  "I was so busy trapping snakes… it appears I've made a slight error."

            "I wish somebody would miss me!" Seven yelled across the table, clearly aiming for Harry's attention.

            "You what?" Tom addressed the doctor.  "That's not like you!"

            "It's been… an irritating day.  So I made a mistake." The EMH shrugged.

            "What is wrong with you?" Janeway's exasperated voice reached the group.  She sat her chair back up and sat in it determinedly.

            "But…" Chakotay also reclaimed his seat, looking groggy and confused.  "I thought you said…"

            "Well I didn't." She said angrily.

            "This is my fault." The doctor admitted.  "The commander should be out of it… I gave him an overdose.  Nothing lethal, of course."

            "Will you give Harry an overdose?" Seven requested.

            "Just make sure you don't do it again, Doc." Janeway growled.  "If that's everything, this meeting's adjourned."

            "Actually, there is the matter of engineering." B'Elanna began spurting out stacks of reports she had been saving up.

            Some of the gathering began drumming their fingers, or humming quietly, blocking out B'Elanna's lengthy report.

            "And the warp core needs to be temporarily shut down so we can begin repairs on…" She continued… on and on and on.

            "Is it just me, or is this extremely boring?" Janeway whispered.

            "…and that console will have to be…" B'Elanna lectured.  "…and of course there's a plasma leak that…"

            "Yep… boring." Chakotay had his hands on his head, focusing.

            "…which short-circuited so we won't have access to…"

            Janeway rolled her eyes.  "You know what?" She whispered.

            "…three hours minimum to complete repairs on the…"

            "Hmm?" The first officer leaned on the table.

            "…main power and even life support…"

            "I just don't care about engineering right now."

            "…and a five hour wait on external…"

            "Me neither."

            "…so we all should be extra conservative when it comes to…"

            "So… how do you suggest we get out of this lecture?"

            "…and help from other specialties…"

            "I can think of a few ways."

            "…so we'll have to divide our resources pretty thin…"

            "Just as long as it doesn't include firing a phaser at our chief engineer.  I'm not that irritated."

            "…even security would be helpful with the elementary repairs…"

            "I do have an acceptable alternative to violence."

            "…so everyone will end up serving a shift…"

            "And what might that be?"

            "…and that is my proposal." B'Elanna looked proud.

            SMASH!  Everybody turned just in time to watch Janeway's chair topple backwards again, taking Voyager's two highest ranking crewmembers to the floor with it.

            "I missed the suggestive remark again!" Seven's eyes welled up with tears.

            "HEY!" B'Elanna raged.  "They weren't listening to my ideas!"

            The EMH cringed.  "Uh… Captain?  Do you need help over there?  Because I can't help but feel responsible…"

            There were a few squeaks of complaint and then Janeway's voice from under the table.  "Warn me next time you do that!  I mean… don't do that!  Are you crazy?"

            "You wanted a distraction!" Chakotay argued.

            "This is so unacceptable!  You're attacking me in front of the entire crew!"

            The doctor decided to take action.  "Come on, Commander.  I'll get that antidote out of your bloodstream."

            "Do that, Doctor!" Janeway reappeared, straightening the now dented chair once again.  "And this meeting is over, dang it!"