"I still can't believe Tuvok incinerated Seven of Nine-Hundred!" The EMH grumbled.
"That's not so bad." Chakotay, now recovered from the fit of insanity, shook his head. "At least you didn't assault the captain during a conference with all the senior officers present."
The doctor chuckled. "Everybody's going to be talking about that for weeks!"
"You're not helping. I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I see her again."
"Oh come on," The hologram began marching across sickbay thoughtfully. "She can't possibly hold that against you! You weren't in your right mind!"
"That's not going to be a good enough excuse for Super Captain. Besides, I wasn't completely unaware of what was going on…"
"If declaring you mentally insane will help, I have certain authorities."
The commander glared. "This is serious. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to hide until my shift tomorrow morning."
"Promotion Day is officially over." Janeway declared. It was a new day, and hopefully, a saner day than the previous twenty-four hours had been. "Why don't you collect all the extra buttons for me, Harry?"
"Yes, Captain!" Harry jumped at the opportunity. "I guess I'll start with yours then?"
She handed the stolen rank over, and Harry regained his ensign-hood.
"Blinkity… blinky… blink…" Tuvok monitored his console.
"Keep that to yourself, Commander." Janeway scolded the Vulcan. "There's no need to say it out loud."
"Sorry," Tuvok shrugged. "The lights told me to do it!"
The turbo-lift doors swished open and Chakotay sneaked onto the bridge. He tiptoed around Harry's console and thought he had made it to his own seat safely when:
"Good morning, Commander." The captain didn't really look at him.
"Hi." He realized it had been stupid to hope she would have forgotten so quickly. "How are you doing?"
"Oh, I do just fine when people aren't knocking me out of my chair." She made icy eye contact.
"You know… the doctor has a whole report explaining how that was not my fault. Maybe you should read it."
"Are you telling me what to do now?"
"I'm making a suggestion."
Janeway tightened her jaw. "Well then, may I suggest that you…"
Suddenly, Tom Paris' eyes grew extremely wide. (What, you thought he would stop?) He latched his seat belt and threw Voyager into a violent stop. Everybody was tossed ungracefully onto the floor beneath the view screen.
"Transporter room! Beam up these coordinates as soon as you can!" Tom raced out of the room in a hyper rush.
"Where'd the lights go?" Tuvok wondered dreamily, flat on his back.
"I assume I'm being squished because none of Seven's desserts were handy?" Janeway attempted some sarcasm, despite the fact that Chakotay had practically landed on her and her wind had been knocked out.
"Oh no, you're not hurt, are you?" Chakotay lifted her off the ground.
"I'm… fine!" She smiled, turning blue from lack of breath.
"No you're not! Breathe!" He shook her roughly by the shoulders, forcing her to her knees.
The captain convinced her lungs to recommence normal activities. She started gasping helplessly.
"I must return to the light!" Tuvok hustled back to his console.
"God… sorry…" Chakotay put an arm around his heaving captain so she wouldn't fall over. "I think it's time to reassign Tom."
"Good… idea…" She swayed, a little dizzy from the sudden bombardment of oxygen.
"Do you want to go to sickbay?"
"For this?" She tried to kneel without support but hadn't found any balance yet. "This is… nothing!"
"Okay, but you're going to have to lay down for awhile." He helped her to her unsteady feet and began leading the way to her quarters.
"Leave me here!"
"Oh no. If you fight, I'll tell the doctor, and you'll be spending the next few hours with him!"
"Tuvok… you have the… bridge." She ordered on the way out.
"Thank you, I'll take that!" Harry snatched another button from one of his fellow crewmen and placed it on his already crowded uniform. He had about fifty buttons arranged around his collar.
"Harry, you look stupid!" Another ensign handed over her extra button. "Why don't you just put them all in a bag or something?"
"Duh! Because I don't have a bag, Einstein! You're just jealous because you never thought of anything so creative!" He explained while affixing the new button.
"Harry!" Seven appeared from out of nowhere. (Well, actually she was hiding under a table waiting for him, but we're not supposed to know that.) "Have you been assigned to collect all the buttons from yesterday?"
"Yep!" He agreed proudly.
"You still haven't gotten mine."
"Captain's orders… you have to give it to me…"
"I didn't receive any orders." She said slyly. "But you still have to get it from me."
"Seven… give me the button." Harry pointed at his collar. "I outrank you and this is a direct order."
"Make me!"
"That's called insubordination, Seven! You won't get to work in astrometrics if you keep being stubborn."
"I can't be fired!" Seven grimaced. "I am the resident super sexy, super brainiac! I am a required character and will not be fired for any reason!"
The ensign realized she spoke truth and began to lose hope. "Okay… let's make a deal then. What exactly do you want?"
"Say something suggestive!" She clasped her hands excitedly. "And make sure I don't miss it."
"That's not too bad." He shrugged. "But you're not allowed to jump on me or anything, okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay… then… hey baby, how's it going?"
"Was that it?" She looked disappointed. "Say something really good. Something like what Chakotay would come up with."
"Argh! Why don't you just go ask him then?"
"I'm asking you."
"Fine. What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty old Starship like this?"
Seven sniffled a little. "Is this really the best you can do, Ensign?"
"I came unprepared. Ah, I've got it! Do I know you from somewhere?"
"This is not what I had in mind. You are spouting insignificant introductory lines! Where is the substance?"
Harry glared at her. "Okay fine. But I'm not saying anything better out loud."
"Tell me." She leaned her head towards him hopefully.
He began whispering into her ear hurriedly. The implant above her eye shifted positions on her face as she narrowed her eyes.
"There." Harry said out loud. "Was that good enough?"
Seven considered. "That was approaching inappropriate, Ensign. I suppose that's what I was asking for, though."
"Good. Where's the button?"
"Well, according to your whispered statements," She smiled. "You wouldn't mind searching me for it."
"This wasn't the deal! I was just making that stuff up!"
"Regardless, you have given me some new ideas! Want to go to your place and try them out?"
"GIVE ME THE BUTTON!"
"Hey!" Tom danced onto the bridge. "Where'd everybody go? I wanted to show them this spiffy cotton ball that was floating outside!"
"I wonder where these objects are coming from?" Tuvok examined the cotton ball. "And I wonder how you can see them without aid from sensors when we are traveling at warp speeds."
"Nobody else pays attention." Tom explained. "Now where is everybody?"
"Ensign Kim is recalling rank buttons." He began. "And the captain was injured by your recklessness so Commander Chakotay took her away."
"Oh!" The pilot responded happily as if an injury were something to celebrate. "Then I guess you and me are in charge for now, eh?"
"Give me the button!" Harry pleaded angrily. "I've gotten all the other buttons on the ship except for yours."
"Be appreciative that I provide such a unique challenge." Seven smirked. "You have not displayed much ingenuity in this matter. Where is your ambition?"
The ensign (if you could still call him that; he had almost two hundred buttons placed randomly across his uniform) bristled. "My… ambition… must still be on Earth."
"What's up guys?" Neelix walked into astrometrics flippantly.
"Ah, Neelix," Harry greeted the Talaxian warmly. "I was just in the middle of explaining to Seven that I need a certain button from her."
"And I keep saying no." Seven added, as if it were a victory.
"Why?" Neelix immediately fell into his 'super helpful counselor' mode. "Certainly members of this crew can come to some kind of reasonable agreement."
"I provided a compromise." The Borg looked defensive.
"She wants me to find the button… if you know what I mean."
"I know what we should do!" Neelix looked almost too thrilled. "Let's go to sickbay!" He began dragging them both across the ship.
"I do not see how sickbay will solve this problem." Harry grumbled.
The Talaxian and his two reluctant friends reached sickbay, pushing everybody inside.
"Oh, hello." The EMH greeted them. Strangely enough, he had a vase of flowers balancing on his head.
"Doctor!" Neelix said. "These two are having a problem and-"
"Notice anything… different… about sickbay today?" The doctor interrupted carelessly.
"Different than what? Your question is too vague without a frame of reference." Seven replied Borgishly.
"Different than the last time you were here."
"Ah yes." She made a quick scan of the surroundings. "The lights are point two percent different than my last visit to sickbay, you are monitoring a different patient, there is a different report on your computer screen, there are fragments of glass in that corner..."
"And?"
"And there is a vase of flowers growing out of your head."
The EMH seemed to glow with joy. "Seven! I never knew you cared!"
"And I never knew you had taken to wearing pottery on your head." She nodded. "Just when you think you know somebody."
"Anyway, about this-" Neelix began.
"I always knew you were my favorite Borg!" The doctor cut him off again.
"Based upon the personalities of other Borgs… I am not surprised." She watched as a carnation in the vase flopped to one side.
"Doc, tell Seven to give me the button!" Harry couldn't take the cheerful scene anymore.
Neelix interjected skillfully. "They're having a bit of an argument. Harry's been ordered to collect all the buttons from yesterday's holiday. It seems Seven's being a bit stubborn."
"Really?" The EMH looked stern. "Bad drone!"
"Eep!" The Borg withered under his disapproval.
"Bad, bad drone! Give Harry the button!"
"Yeah! Give it to me!"
She sheepishly reached into her hair and pulled out the button. "Here you are, Ensign Kim."
"Wha…" Harry accepted it. "But I guessed that it was in your hair and you said no!"
"I am sorry.
"But you lied to me…" He smiled. "That's actually kind of attractive, Seven."
She regarded him plainly. "Do not flirt with me. I am sick of you." She departed from sickbay.
"Huh?" Harry was astounded. "After all that she's sick of me?"