AUTHOR'S NOTES: Took me long enough, huh? Well, between work, seeing the folks, and normal summertime stuff, it's been busy. And then there was the lack of desire to write the big fight scene...but anyway, here you go. Don't whip me too hard; I promise it won't take as long next time. I hope.

Back in the real world, Shinji's synch ratio abruptly dropped alarmingly. Asuka's fingers dug into Matoko's shoulder. "What's happening to him?" she shrilled.

"I don't know!" Makoto yelled back.

From the wound in Shinji's chest, pink tendrils roiled outwards and began to cover his body. He turned deathly pale, and Serena grinned. "That's it...it'll be over soon."

Abruptly, Shinji grabbed the scepter and pulled it from his chest. "OW! What the hell did you do that for? That hurt!"

Serena's eyes went wide. "Wuh–buh–how did you do that--"

Shinji slapped her. "Wench!" he said in a distinctly Inuyasha like voice. "Nobody sticks anything in me! Not even As–" Luckily, before he could finish, Serena slapped him back, Ryoko style. "Oh yeah, bitch?" Shinji growled. He grabbed her nose with two fingers and shook it.

"OW!" Serena pried his fingers off and poked Shinji in the eyes. "And your girlfriend's a slut, too!"

"WHAT did you call her?" Shinji reached out and seized her ponytails. Before Serena could react, he tied them in a knot. "Take that, you tramp!"

Serena grabbed either side of Shinji's mouth and began tugging at his lips grotesquely. "Your girlfriend's a whore!"

Shinji squirmed out of her grasp and flicked his finger between her eyes as Asuka had once done to him. "At least she's not like you...you...you MINMEI!"

"That does it!" Serena shouted. "Get him, girls!"

All eight Serenas jumped Shinji

"Hey!" Serena leveled a finger at the author. "That doesn't sound right. Don't be giving the fanboys any ideas."

Fine, whatever. All eight Serenas dogpiled Shinji.

"Better." Serena left off giving the author lip and attacked Shinji as well. Shinji punched and kicked and punched some more and kicked and punched and...and now you readers know why I decided to write Inu-Yasha fanfics for a month. And since I don't want to run out of verbs and adjectives before the much kewler fight scene later, the end result was that Serena got kicked across the temple grounds and into the torii gate. "That's not fair!" she yelled at the author. "This is the only time in this whole fanfic I really get to kick ass, and you're skimping on details!"

Sorry, Serena. You do get a fight scene later on. I promise I won't skimp then, okay?

"I'll show you and Shinji!" Serena pulled herself from the gate and watched as Shinji grabbed the world's biggest pretzel rod and commenced cleaning house on the Serena clones. "More," Serena growled. "MORE!"

Every door in the shrine opened and dozens of Serenas began pouring onto the temple grounds, all united in a single purpose: to kill Shinji Ikari. Even as Shinji swung the metal staff from side to side, he began to be pressed from both flanks.

Chibi-Usa was walking by the old Higurashi temple, skipping along, snacking on a green tea-flavored ice cream cone. She stopped skipping when a Serena clone came flying over the parapet of the temple wall and smashed into the concrete at her feet. "Eeek!" She stepped back and looked through the open gate, where Shinji had grabbed one Serena clone by the pigtails and was using her as a mace. Then she realized that the one at her feet was getting up. Her ice cream cone fell to the ground in shock. "You!" she squeaked.

"Me." Serena pulled out her scepter and rammed it into Chibi-Usa's chest. "Me, me, me."

A second later, there were two Serenas. "Me too," the Scout Formerly Known as Chibi-Usa said. And they too joined the fray.

Things were not looking good for the Third Child. He had lost control of the pigtailed girl and had been bodychecked to the ground by yet another Serena clone. There were hundreds of them now, and they had him surrounded. "It is inevitable," the Serenas said as one. "You cannot stop us. Not even the author can stop us."

Hey, hold on. This is my story.

"Tough. That's what you get for leaving this thing sitting for almost two months. It's our story now."

Wanna bet?

Suddenly all the Serena clones were buck naked. A screech not unlike that of your mothers when they find out you've been reading this nearly deafened Shinji. Get out of there, he heard Asuka's voice, and knew that he'd better obey while all the Serenas were trying to cover themselves and yelling dire imprecations at the author. Concentrating, Shinji called EVA-01 to him. The Serena clones shrieked and ran as the purple mecha appeared from nowhere, dropping a hand to its pilot. Shinji scampered aboard and seconds later, the Eva was rising into the sky. You sorry for messing with the author yet, Serena?

"Yes, dammit! Gimme our clothes back."

Shinji blinked as he felt the connector probe being pulled from the back of his head. The main room of the Bebop swam and then came into view. Asuka was instantly beside him. "Are you all right?" Weakly, Shinji nodded.

"It was Serena." Gendo made it a statement, not a question. "Now there's more than one of her."

"A lot more," Shinji amended, slowly getting up.

"How is that possible?" Makoto asked from the control station.

"I don't know. Somehow she's found a way to copy herself." Unconsciously, his hands went to his chest, where the scepter had nearly run him through, again.

"Is that what she was doing to you?" Gendo asked.

"I don't know," Shinji repeated, "but I do know what it felt like. Felt like I was back in that hallway. Felt like all the fanboys do when they saw all those naked Serenas."

"And what's that?" Asuka said, arching an eyebrow icily.

"Felt like dying."

At Central Dogma in the Geofront, a meeting was taking place on the bridge tower. Crowded together, as they had been during the party, were the captains of the Geofront's ships. This time, however, there was no cheer in the room. In front of the assembled captains stood Rick Hunter. Behind him, a giant hologram of the Inus' progress towards the Geofront was projected. "The Inus are tunneling to avoid our defense systems," Hunter explained, "but I believe that they're going to intersect certain pipelines in order to keep us from escaping in the ships. These areas are crucial, because they've got to split their forces–leave a couple of Inus to guard the pipelines. We can counterattack them there.

"Although it has been suggested that this is the same kind of attack we've fended off for years, I urge the Council to realize the truth: this is the single greatest threat we have ever faced, and if we don't act accordingly, we will not survive." He folded his arms across his chest. "Not even the Grand Cannon can help us this time."

"Admiral, the Council is well aware of the seriousness of this attack." Councilor Genma Saotome nodded gravely. "You have our leave to prepare our defenses by all means necessary."

Hunter bowed. "Domo arigato, Councilor."

"We do ask if there's been word from the Bebop."

Hunter fought down an urge to groan. "No, Councilor, no word."

"Then we request a ship be dispatched to ascertain the fate of the Third Child," Fuyutsuki said.

"I wish that were possible, sir, but I don't believe our defenses can suffer the loss of another ship."

"It will, Admiral, if it must," Saotome replied.

"It could take days for a single ship to find the Bebop," Hunter argued.

"Then send two."

Hunter scowled and looked down. "This is insane."

"What's that, Admiral?" Fuyutsuki asked.

"Nothing, sir. I just don't understand why the Council wants to find the Bebop so badly."

"You're not required to understand, Admiral."

Hunter looked up, his hands balling into fists. "You can't ask me to order two of my captains–"

"The captains are present," Councilor Kaede interrupted. "Let them answer for themselves." Her one good eye flicked over the assembly. "The Council is calling for two volunteers to aid the Bebop. Are there two amongst ye that will answer the call?"

Almost instantly, Yurika Misumaru began jumping up and down. "Ooh! Ooh! I'll do it!"

"Ye understand the mission, Captain Misumaru?" Kaede asked, a little taken aback by the woman's enthusiasm.

"Oh, yes, ma'am! The Nadiesco will find the Bebop, no problem!" She tugged on a younger girl's shoulder. "Let's go, Ruri!"

"Yes, Captain." Ruri slowly followed Yurika out the door. "Idiots..."

"Er...thank ye, Captain," Kaede said to the now-departed Yurika. "Is there another?"

Amongst the crowd, Heero Yuy leaned forward and grabbed Duo Maxwell's shoulder. "We should volunteer, Duo."

"Is your brain broken, Heero?" hissed Wu-Fei.

Duo shook his head. There was no way he was going out there alone. The memories of that super-quick Scout still bothered him. "Shut it, Heero. We're not volunteering." He looked back at Heero, who not only had begun wearing his hair in pigtails, but had switched from wearing a basic black muscle shirt to a white one with puffy shoulders. "What is with you these days?"

"Is there no other?" Kaede was asking.

There was silence for a few more uncomfortable moments. Hunter looked at the Council pointedly. "Be hard for anyone to risk their lives, especially if they don't understand the reason."

Rally Vincent stepped forward. "Captain Vincent of the Cobra will answer the Council's call." She ignored Hunter, who whirled on her with a silent What? on his lips.

"Thank you, Captain. Admiral Hunter, you have your orders." Saotome looked at the other Council members. "This Council is hereby adjourned." He brought down a length of bamboo down on the deck of the bridge tower and then began to chew on it.

Hunter pushed his way through the departing Captains. "Rally, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.

"What I can," she answered him dispassionately.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, then he growled, "Why?"

"Because some things never change, Rick." She shrugged. "And some things do." With that, she walked out of Central Dogma.

Hunter stood alone on the bridge for a few moments. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"