Title: Green Day
Author: StarQuality
Disclaimer: The Brittas Empire and all characters, place names, and the... thing, belong to the respective... people, not me.
Summary: Whitbury have a bit of a problem - with water.
A/N: I have no idea. I thought this up in the bath. I was lying there, and the water turned green... And I just thought, "Ooooh, what would Brittas do...". It didn't turn green because of me, don't worry, I don't have some kind of... You know, but it was the bubble bath. Green as green can be. Anyway, there's some Laura/Brittas fluff thrown in here and there. It's not that good, but hey, can but try.

There was a knock at the Manager's office door. Mr. Brittas instantly recognised the knock, straightened his tie and called,

"Come in, Laura."

Laura entered the room looking slightly disturbed. Her hair was wet and straggly, her clothes looked as if she'd just shoved them on in a mad rush. Normally, Brittas would've given a lecture on looking the part, but this was Laura, and he was very fond of her. Plus, she looked terrified. He pointed to the chair, and she sat down. Then she said,

"Mr. Brittas..."

"Yes...?"

"Mr. Brittas, I was just in the shower, and..."

"Whoooo..." Brittas said, clasping his hands together and sucking breath through his teeth, "A man of the world I may be Laura, but I don't feel that I can deal with the female bodily issues of my staff. Now, if you'd like to talk to..."

He was interrupted when Tim and Gavin crashed into the office, both in only swimming trucks and both dripping wet,

"Mr. Brittas! I think you'd better come down the pool!" Gavin panted, leaning against Tim for support.

Brittas raised his eyebrows slightly, "I'm actually dealing with Laura-" he smiled affectionately, "-at the moment, Gavin, if you don't mind."

Tim staggered over to Brittas' desk, and gave him a serious look, "Mr. Brittas. This is an emergency!"

"Has... Someone hurt themselves?" Brittas asked, looking serious, but still with that chirpy optimism.

"No, but...."

"Well I can't see what could be more of an em..."

That's when Linda burst in, cutting him off, "Mr. Brittas!" she shouted, frantically, "The water in the pool! It's gone green!"

The manager and deputy of the leisure centre hurriedly made their way to the pool. Gavin and Tim had been instructed to go and put some clothes on, and then round up the staff. Linda had been sent on a mission, a mission to find Deputy Manager (Wet), Colin.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your problem on the back burner for now, Laura." Brittas informed her. She was behind him. Smiling, she said,

"Mr. Brittas... The green water was what I was trying to tell you about."

"...What...?" he asked, in that Brittas-drawl.

Laura sighed. Mr. Brittas could be so... so... Mr. Brittas. And most of the time she was perfectly happy with that. After all, it wasn't everyday you got a boss like him. But, not this time.

"I was in the shower, downstairs, the staff showers.... And suddenly, the water turned... That colour." she pointed to the pool, which was full of pea-green water.

They looked at each other. Then they dashed off in different directions. Brittas to the staffroom, and Laura to tell Carol that the pool was off-limits.

Just another day at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre.

"So we've closed the centre for the time being..."

"Again."

"Yes, thank you, Timothy." Brittas gave him a funny look, but carried on regardless, "Anyway. Laura has very kindly phoned a plumber, who can't be with us until tomorrow afternoon. So, until then, the centre will be closed."

Linda entered the room and shook her head sadly, a rare frown forming on her face, she hated to let Mr. Brittas down, "I can't find him anywhere, Mr. Brittas!" Everyone looked confused so she added, "Colin."

A few people muttered, "Ohh...", but soon quietened down when the Manager cleared his throat.

"Thank you Linda. Ahh, Laura." he said, noticing his favourite Deputy standing in the doorway, "Any luck?"

"No. He refused to set foot in here. Not after last time. With the snake." Laura made her way over to Brittas. She could tell he was worried, his attractive face full of concern, a trait which he rarely showed. "I think we should send the staff home." she suggested quietly, leaning over the table so that the others couldn't hear her,

Brittas nodded, "Everybody, your attention please. Now, as the centre isn't open, there isn't much need for you to be here, so if you'd all kindly go home..." Tim and Gavin went to stand up, "Except Tim and Gavin, who I'd like to stay, to give us a hand.

Colin was still nowhere to be found, everyone, even Brittas, was getting a little bit concerned. Over the fact that he was missing, and their other little problem.

Every single drop of water in the centre was green. When Tim had gone to made a pot of coffee, the water came out of the tap the colour of grass. When Gavin had gone to was his hands (After Brittas had made him stick them into the water tank), the liquid had been a bright green.

"There's something quite worrying about this, don't you think, Laura?" Brittas sighed, sinking into his chair and burying his head in his hands.

Laura hated seeing him so... upset, so worried, depressed, even. She reached across the desk and patted his arm. "It'll be alright. It'll sort itself out, it always does."

"Yes, I suppose you're right, Laura. But... Oh. I don't know."

"Don't worry. Look, Colin will.. Oh... No."

Brittas sighed again. Typical Colin, never around when the water in your swimming pool is luminous.
Just as he thought that, there was a knock at the door, "Come in."

A slight smell filled the room, and the other half of the deputy management team stumbled in. "Ah, Mr. Brittas. Sorry to interrupt. I just wondered if you wanted me to take it out now?" he asked, grinning,

Brittas however, looked confused, "Take what out of where, Colin?"

"The lime jelly. Out of the filter in the water tank. You know, that I put in the other day." When Brittas claimed not to remember giving him permission, the enthusiastic... Colin, replied, "You did, you said to do whatever I thought best. Just before you rushed off to supervise the badminton championship."

"Colin..." Laura said, "I think it would be a good idea to take it out now. It's caused a few... problems."

"Oh. Nothing, major, I hope?"

Brittas started to say, 'Well...', but Laura cut him off. "No, Colin. Can I just, ask you something?" Colin nodded, "What... I mean... why lime jelly?"

"Ah well. I read somewhere that jelly has a way of, purifying the water. Which is actually quite interesting because..."

"Yes, alright Colin, we get the point, can you deal with it, please?" Brittas said, waving him out the office.

"Wilko, Mr Brittas!"

Colin left the room, closing the door behind him, leaving Laura and Brittas alone. "Well, it's certainly been an episode, hasn't it?" he said, finally breaking out into a smile,

"Yes, it has." Laura replied, sighing contentedly and joining Mr. Brittas in a smile, "But, it always is, around here."

The End
Well that wasn't too traumatic. Alright, so it was.

Thanks to everyone at the BBS (Link on Spring Cleaning) for inspiring this really. The thing about Tim/Gavin dripping wet, that was for you.

Thanks to the wonderful cast of Brittas, including the dee-licious Christopher Jonathan Barrie!

Title thanks to John. It's TWO words! Not one! (So obviously I didn't come up with it.) I did good! I didn't do TOO much fluffing! (Laura/Brittas) Proud of me? I was proud of me.

Oh, and as a special treat, here's a Red Dwarf reference that didn't make it in:
"So, what do you think it is then?" Tim asked, turning the tap on. The water was green. He turned it off again.
"No idea, Tim." Brittas sighed, "Aliens."
Aliens? See? Aliens. Rimsy. Yes?