Bad Girl III
A/N: don't own anything you recognize.
Hermione was dragged through the whole train, to the compartment that happened to be the very last. She was so damn confused about the whole thing, that she didn't even bother to ask where Parvati was taking her.
In the compartment, the walls of which happened to be very pink and sparkly, sad Padma, Lavender and Fleur (never mind that by that time, she'd be around 20, graduated from school and already be working somewhere... not to mention that technically, she should have been in France). They all happened to be in their pajamas... Hermione's clothes were also magically swapped for a pair that matched the compartment walls.
"Lyke, ohmigosh, Hermy, welcome to I-Dressed-as-a-Catholic-Schoolgirl-Slut society!" greated her Padma.
"Lyke, we are lyke, the people who dressed as lyke a slutty schoolgirl! And we are lyke, so unoriginal with titles!" squealed Lavender.
"And lyke, as soon as someone dresses that way, they are lyke, joined!" added Fleur.
"But we lyke have to initiate you first!" finished Parvati. Then they all smiled toothily and looked at Hermione, as if expecting her to say something.
"But lyke... I mean, what if I don't want to be a part of this?" slowly she uttered, as she started looking for the exit from this compartment of Doom (she wasn't very fond of the pink...) but the exit sealed itself.
Fleur laughed. "Oh Hermy. So innocent. What can you lyke tell me about Slytherin?"
"Well, he founded Hog---"Started Hermione, happy at the chance to talk about... well, about anything, but she was interrupted. By Lavender.
"Wrong information to start with. We knew all of that already. Tell me something I couldn't learn in Hogwarts, A History"
"Well, he was known for his fetishes and a huge libido... He got reincarnated a couple of times, and his most famous reincarnate was Marquis de Sade. But how is that relevant?" said Hermione so happy to talk about something she learned in books, that she started up and down a little bit.
"Well, as a co-founder of Hogwarts, he had quite a fetish for schoolgirls – you know, because they had LOTS of those a long long time ago when Hogwarts was founded. In any case, any Hogwarts student, male or female, who dresses as such, is magically bound to pleasure the current Slytherin House Head at least once a year until graduation" giggled Padma happily.
"Then why the hell is she here?" said Hermione, pointing at Fleur, ever so happy at pleasing Snape. In her own, bitter cynical way.
"Cause the author felt that I have the most slutty outlook on life out of all of you, therefore, my presence here is essential."
"Hmm. So we all have to screw Snape?! What kind of an implausible plot line is this? Speculated Hermione outloud.
"Yeah, well, bear with it." Rumbled an omniscient voice from above. "Plus, maybe the head of Slytherin isn't Snape anymore, you don't know!! Uh-oh. Did I just spoil it for people? Better change it back."
The girls giggled again, and Padma muttered while smiling happily: "Why else do you think Snape's not getting the DADA job? As the head of Slytherin, he has to keep his Potions position or else resign to teach anything else. Dumbledore knows that, and never gives Snape the DADA position. Though THAT has it's own benefits too. But we'll talk about that in later chap---.... I mean, at a later time." The girls giggled again and started pillow fighting.
"Oh great. What a convinient way for me to shag Snape." Thought Hermione outloud. "And I'm stuck in some pink and sparkly society with superslutty girls who don't know anything and make a mockery of the English language"
The chatter and the insane giggles around her stopped, as the girls dropped their pillows and turned to glare at Hermione.
"I'm French, I have a right to mock English. So piss off." Said Fleur loudly and clearly, and with a flick of her wand, the compartment was back to it's normal glum appearance. The clothes on the girls changed too, to their normal Hogwarts robes. "And we were just trying out this new Sluts-R-Us-Party-In-a-Box from the Weasley Brothers. We are not all sluts and giggles you know!" and with a satisfied smirk, the girls opened their books on analytical psychology, and started an in-depth discussion, ignoring Hermione. She, on the other hand, confused about the conversation, turned, and seeing the exit door finally there, ran out of the compartment. Behind her, an omniscient voice was rumbling again: "Before you do it, you must go through it... Or else I blew it!... No, wait, that's not it. Oh yes, go through with your Sluts-R-Us duty, or bad stuff will happen."
Hermione, shaking her head at the silly omniscient voice, and started wandering back to her own compartment. As she passed Draco's compartment, she saw him and the mysterious stranger dude making out. By some mysterious plot hole, there was a stereo next to them and it was emitting upbeat pop music with deep vocalizations.
Hermione figured "what the hell, it can't get any more strange" and stormed in the compartment, satisfied with the looks of surprise she got from the boys within.
TBC