Disclaimer: No, I don't own it! I wanna own my Weasleyness! Why can't I own him? Why! Why! Why!
To the Reviewers!
Fool Moon: Ron/Snape slash! Ron/Snape slash! Now you've got me saying it! Thank you for your review!
Reese Craven: It's fun pointing out your mistakes. Your temper is amusing too. Now settle down, turbo. You'll get your slash!
That's now well out of my system! Here's, now, the last chapter of Ron Weasley Kills. (sniff sniff) As you all recall, last chapter had Ron dying in Snape's arms. Will he stay dead? Or will there be a way to revive him? Find out right now!
After the Battle
"No! Ron, you can't be dead!" Hermione said. "Say it isn't so!"
"Isn't there a movie called that?" Harry asked.
"Yeah!" Hermione said. "Where a guy falls in love with a girl that chops off his ear on accident, then he proposes, they have sex before they get married, the guy gets sucked on by the girl's cat. At the same time he's looking for his mother, and he finds out his fiance's mother is his mother! So he screwed his sister! And then he finds out that he really isn't related to her, so he's trying to find a way to make her believe that, but everything he tries just gets worse and worse! And then..."
"Hermione! We get it!" Snape said. "now let's focus on trying to revive Ron! Anyone know CPR besides me?"
"He needs mouth to mouth resuscitation!" Hermione said. "But the only one that can do it is you."
"No," Snape said.
"Please Professor," Harry pleaded. "He's our friend, and you're the only one that can save him. Please do it."
Grumbling, Snape laid Ron on the ground. Opening Ron's mouth, Snape put his own on Ron's. He breathed into Ron's mouth hoping that this would work. He'd never admit it, he liked this part of saving Ron's life.
Ron opened his eyes just as Snape was about to kiss him a second time.
"Professor?" Ron asked.
"Weasley?" Snape replied.
Both screamed and stood as far away from each other as possible. They looked to Harry and Hermione, who were laughing their heads off.
"You will mention this to no one," Snape said. "Or I will kill you."
"No one will ever know," Harry promised. Though he kept his fingers crossed. He actually planned on telling Sirius about this. (I don't care what they say, SIRIUS IS ALIVE! HE'S ALIVE! I TELL YOU, HE'S ALIVE!)
A few weeks later, Harry, Ron and Hermione were all at Hermione's house. They hung out there for a while.
"Let's watch some TV," Hermione said. The other two agreed.
The TV turned on, and they almost expected SpongeBob to still be on TV, but he was not. A new show called The Fairly Odd Parents was now showing!
"Finally! A show worth watching!" Harry said. The three of them sat down and watched the coolest Nickelodeon show besides Ren and Stimpy.
Way out in Timmy Turner's house, Timmy, Wanda, and Cosmo were watching the world and laughing as the ratings went up.
"If they only knew," Wanda said. They laughed forever as everyone was liking this show better than (twitch) SpongeBob.
Reaka: Okay! That's it. As you can tell, I like the Fairly Odd Parents a lot better! They're actually funny! And that's it! That's the end! I hope you enjoyed it, and have a nice day!