Entry 7
…Sigh…
I wonder if it's polite to sigh like this to you, diary. I'm sighing in real life, it's not just a stylistic something-or-other. It's how I feel.
Sigh…
We had another date, and he hugged me again, and I wrapped my arms around him… we held each other so tightly…
And then he was gone.
It was so sudden he was out of sight before I knew he was out of my arms. Like cotton candy, he'd vanished before I could really…
[Doodles in margins, appear to be tears]
Two days now, and a part of me is missing. Just when it was starting to get good…
Sure, I miss him (can you tell?), but what I had has been enough for me to walk on air. I've been twirling and ambling, leaping and skipping for two days now. It's still not enough. I need more.
He made me feel so alive when he held me. It's not like I was full of energy, it's not that "chemistry" thing you hear people talk about but never explain. It's just that, when he touched me, I felt every part of me. I was glad for everything that I am. I was happy that I had all of me, that my entire self was there to experience Sonic. Just being there was enough to make me feel like my life was a good one.
I would do anything to feel that again! I feel the hole in me, the place he should be. It's no different from your stomach, the way you feel when you're empty or full. You know when something's not there and should be, you feel good when you get it there. He left me full, and I'm empty now.
I'm careening between…. Feeling good with what he's left me, and feeling desperate for more.
I hope he comes back soon.