Sirena and Jayde bounced out of the meeting with a purpose clear in their sights and a plan of action rapidly forming. As they left the building and frolicked onto the set, their focused eyes spotted Gary Oldman walking alongside the costume director, discussing something neither or the girls had any interest in.

Sirena bounced, her crazy grin appearing. She squealed, poking Jayde in the arm repeatedly. "Can I do it now? Huh? Huh? Can I?"

"Go for it," Jayde said, still engrossed in her search for Tom's trailer. There was casting work to be done. Actors to be trained. That sort of thing.

Sirena cleared her throat in a very official sounding way before running ahead and grabbing Gary Oldman's shirt sleeve and turning him to face her. "Mr. Oldman."

"...Yes?"

She cleared her throat again and puffed herself up to her full height (which really wasn't very intimidating, at five feet and two inches). "You, sir, are fired."

The costume director blinked and patted Gary on the shoulder. "Catch you later, mate..."

Gary blinked several times at the short redhead standing before him. "Sorry, but... who the bloody fuck are you?"

"Sirena Lupin, official consultant for canon control, sex coordinator, and overall spiffiness director in cooperation with Jayde Lupin, my partner. I... called you a monkey yesterday."

Gary paused. "If you'll excuse me, I've got a scene and still have to get in to get in costume and makeup..."

"No you haven't," Sirena said firmly, regaining her decourum. "I've just fired you."

Gary sputtered for a moment. "I hardly think you're qualified to..."

Sirena arched an eyebrow and clapped twice, a chain she held around her hand clanging as she did so. On the other end of the chain was a rather scantily clad Criss Angel, who ran up quickly to the redhead's side. "You see, Gary... this is your replacement. Where you are ridiculously non-sexable, he is an orgasm on legs. Where you are not shaped or built or even HAIRSTYLED like Sirius Black, he suits the role to a tee. Where you are old and feeble," she took a dramatic pause to grin in the most sinister of ways. "He is young, nubile, fleeexxxxible..." she groaned softly, eyes rolling back before she remembered her purpose and resumed her evil stance. "And ever so capable of kicking your arse physically, so" she clapped once more, in a very final way, "I'd say that solves it. Nothing personal, mate. I'm sure you'd have cut the part emotionally... but be a pal and clear out your trailer, before I set him on you, will you?"Alfonso did not take long to notice the casting change as, when he entered the makeup trailer, he was visually assaulted by Criss Angel in a black leather banana hammock. And ONLY a black leather banana hammock.

"Where's Gary?" Alfonso asked, tersely.

Sirena giggled in the sinister manner that had come to bring a sinking feeling to Alfonso's heart every time it appeared. She tangled her fingers in the long, black mane of hair before here with a grin. "We fired him."

"What?" Alfonso screeched.

Jayde looked up from the script. "Don't do that," she advised, "you sound like a girl when you do."

Sirena tugged on her chain and gesticulated to Criss "I believe you've been introduced to our new Sirius Black."

Alfonso blinked. "Oh... my... god..."

"Y tu mama tambien!" Jayde added, her eyes drifting away from the script she was furiously writing on in bright pink pen.

Again, Alfonso could do nothing but blink. "But..."

"Shh, Alfonso," she whispered. "No talkie." She licked 'Sirius' as Alfonso turned to Jayde with a sigh.

"What's his name, again?" he asked, resigned.

"Se llama Criss Angel."

Alfonso looked at the girl funny. "You know that I speak English, don't you?"

She looked up from the script, annoyed. "Of course I do! You're speaking it right now. I just... am more fond of answering people in foreign languages. It confuses them. Of co

urse," she smiled brilliantly at Alfonso, "I don't expect you to be confused by espanol."

Alfonso felt thoroughly confused, like he always did when he was around Jayde. "Um, all right," he said, and half jogged away from them down the hall. He was going to have a word with B.S. Mann.

"I know we've spoken about it, Bihg, but... can't you do something? Gary could have gotten a wig or something. They've got the new guy in a... a... a BOYKINI!"

B. S. Mann winced, as though the very idea pained him. Particularly in the genital region. "I'm afraid our hands are tied. Jo's given then full control. The best we can do is enforce the rating and hope that they don't try to insert any sex scenes...."

"How can you eat at a time like this?" Chuck cried as he watched Greg shovel Caesar Salad into his mouth. "We've got a dilemma, and you're bloody eating?"

"I'm hungry," Greg said around a piece of lettuce. "And so I'm going to eat."

"But!" Chuck waved his hands around manically, "But! It's a hostile takeover, it is! They've fired Gary! They've fired David! The black haired one's working with Kloves to 'fix' the script!"

Greg snorted. "Gary can't act, David isn't fangirl material, and the script needed to be fixed."

Jayde flounced into the cafeteria. "Hi, everyone!" she called out, waving to the masses of crewpeople in the room. "How're you tonight?"

A few people bothered to look up from their food. No one answered. Jayde looked around at everyone and then turned and left.

A minute later, the door opened again. "Hi, everyone!" she called out, waving to the masses of crewpeople in the room. "How're you tonight?"

Again, there was no answer. She sighed wearily, turned on her heal, and left the room. The door slammed rather loudly behind her.

Five minutes later, the door opened again. "Hi, everyone!" Jayde called out, waving to the masses of crewpeople in the room. "Look! TITS!" She flashed the room and suddenly all eyes were on her. She smiled cheekily. "Now that I have your attention, senors and senoras, how the fuck are you all doing tonight?"

There was some mumbling and a general chorus of "fine". Jayde was satisfied. Just barely.

She ambled over to our two favourite random crewpeople. "Hi, boys," Jayde said as she walked by their table towards the buffet tables at the other end of the cafeteria, "How're you enjoying our hostile takeover?"

She was off before either of them could utter a syllable.

"I don't see what's so wrong with her. She doesn't seem so off," Greg stuffed another oversized piece of lettuce into his mouth. "It's the red head that worries me."

Sirena perched herself on the end of the table and grinned manically. "As it should be."

Chuck looked at Sirena and blinked for a moment, before turning back to Greg and shaking his head vehemently. "You've never had a conversation with her, have you? Or whatever constitutes as a conversation with her, at least. She'll come up to you and tell you random things you didn't really care to know."

"In fact," said a voice from behind them, "I'm putting out a book. '10,001 Spiffy Facts for Everyday Conversation.'" Jayde smiled. "The title needs some work."

Sirena arched a puzzled eyebrow over the heads of the men. "Why? I think it's...well... spiffy, actually...."

The two men nodded, dumbstruck. Jayde's eyes drifted down the Caesar salad in front of Greg. "You know, Greg... There was a Roman emperor by the name of Lucius. Isn't that interesting? Ms. Rowling takes so much from history and astronomy... Well, I'm going to eat this..." she looked at the chicken and ham pie on her plastic lunch tray, "whatever it is. I'll see you two around!" She patted them both on the head and was off.

Sirena tugged on the chain leash and Criss/Sirius followed soon after. She grinned wickedly. "And I've got my lunch right here... enjoy, you two..."

Chuck groaned and pushed his own plate of chicken and ham pie away from him. Greg snorted and shoved another piece of lettuce into his mouth. "Lighten up, Chuck," he said around a mouthful of lettuce and dressing, "It could be worse."

Sirena tugged sharply on the leash, shooting a grin at her now leather-clad companion. "Come now, my lovely. It's time to pick up your new friend!" Her manic grin moved over to Jayde. "This one, I think you'll want to see."

Jayde nodded in affirmation, a similar manic grin finding her face as one word eeked out from her lips: "Slash."

Sirena nodded, petting Criss' hair. "Lots of it, too, I suspect. We have to hurry, though. He'll be here any minute and we want to give him a proper greeting at the gates."

Jayde didn't hear the last part because she was distracted. Very distracted. A flash of white blonde hair had her stopped dead in her tracks. "Me see... he... boy... pretty...."

Sirena looked back and groaned, grabbing Jayde by the shirt and pulling her along. "Of COURSE there will be pretty boys. We just need to go get Remus and the others will be in tomorrow. Come ON."

As Sirena pulled Jayde away from the retreating blonde hair, the deprived slasher screeched indignantly. She turned to kick Sirena in the leg, and when she turned back, successful smile on her face, Tom was gone.