Disclaimer: I do not own any of the X-Men movie characters.

Title: Unforgivable Sinners

By: Cmdr. Gabe E.

Note: This fanfiction occurs entirely in the X-Men movie-verse . Characters' unspoken thoughts are enclosed in .

= = = = = = = = = = = =

W000T!!! finally!!! New chapters are up o!!!!

throws a party for SKETTY24, TOPWITCH/WAYTOEVIL666, XMENLOGANFAN, ROSEMEG AND LIZ/MUYLOCOCHICA123 for being great reviewers o!!!

I am so sorry if I haven't updated for a while .! I've been uber busy with tons of family/offline stuff lately x.x! Anyway, I hope you like chapters 37 and 38 . So sorry for the logan/yuriko fans out there if these two chapters are more stryker-centered. But don't worry...I'm working on chapter 39 now and L/Y will be back soon !

= = = = = = = = = = = = Chapter 37: Must I dream and always see your face

Stryker's eyes wandered at the floor as he walked down the hallway. Bobby's words still lingered in his mind. He didn't want to admit it, but his words hit him hard. It made him realize that the past will always haunt the present. And no matter how he tries, people will always look at him as the man he once was.

He wasn't even sure if he still wanted to look for Yuriko. Of course he wanted to see her again. He would do anything to see her face. But did she want to see him? There would be no point in looking for a woman who would just flee at the first sight of him. It would just turn into an endless chase, until he finally trips and falls behind.

Why would she want to see him again anyway? She was now happy. She now had Logan, a loving family and a new home. She now had everything she ever wanted. As for him, he was just a little stain from her past that needed to be washed away.

At first, he felt important because Yuriko needed him. He suffered under her, but she gave his life purpose. He could still remember the ways she made him feel pain, and he would rather feel that pain again, than feel nothing from her.

But now, she had forgotten him. He had to accept that fact. The only thing that was left for him to do was to wait until he finally regained all of his memories. Then after that, he would become the man he feared. He would become himself. The real him. The man he was supposed to be.

He reached the main entrance of the mansion and stared at the front door. He could go out of the mansion and look for her now, or he could just wait for her in their room. Then perhaps he could spend some time with her again if she decides to sleep there, in his company.

After all, if he did find her and Logan together, Logan would probably try to keep him away from her anyway. So he might as well wait until she returned. He sighed and looked at the stairs that led to the second floor.

He went up the left staircase and made his way to the next level. Then he walked down the hallway going to their room. He reached their room and was about to open its door, when he suddenly noticed a faint glow in the windows at the far end of the hallway.

"Huh?" He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at the glimmering windows. Something behind the mansion was giving off a faint light. What could that be?

He slowly walked to the end of the corridor and looked outside one of the windows. He could see the entire swimming pool area from where he was standing. He saw a huge swimming pool that was big enough to fit most of the mansion's students. Its waters seemed to be illuminated by an underwater light source.

Around the swimming pool were four lampposts, one on each corner. All of them were turned on, which was probably the reason why they were giving off so much light. But the forests that surrounded the swimming pool area were too dark for his eyes to see. It would have been a great view if the sun were up. If it were morning, he would be able to see everything, even the fields that lay behind the mansion.

Then he suddenly noticed two figures sitting by the side of the pool. It was a man and a woman and they were seated close to each other. He narrowed his eyes and adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He pressed his hand against the transparent glass of the window and moved his face closer for a better view. He finally recognized their familiar figures. It was Logan and Yuriko. Looks like he had found her after all.

He clenched his jaw as he watched them in each other's company. Yuriko looked so happy as she talked to Logan. He could even see her placing her hand on Logan's shoulder as she talked. She even leaned against him and pressed her arm against his arm, she also placed her head on his shoulder and she touched his face. She seemed to enjoy not only their conversation, but also their physical connection.

Stryker's closed his hand into a tight fist as he watched their display. He hated how close they were to each other. He hated seeing it. He wanted to turn around and walk away, but he wanted to see more of her smile...the smile that would never be his. He had never seen her that relaxed and happy with anyone before. She looked like a little girl who wanted to talk about everything in the world. While when she was with him, she seemed like a cold, heartless woman who felt nothing but hate.

How come Logan was the only one who could bring out her smiles? How come Logan was the only one who could make her laugh that way? He made her eyes sparkle and her cheeks turn red whenever she blushed. Logan didn't even seem like an open and joyful person. He seemed like the kind of man who always kept to himself. He was always so serious and quiet, and yet Yuriko enjoyed his company. Why?

Stryker pushed himself away from the window and he turned away. He didn't want to see anymore of that. He'd have enough. It pained him enough that she would never like him, and it pained him even more that she had fallen for another.

/"Stop thinking this way, William!"/ He thought to himself. He bowed his head and clenched his fists by his side. /"Why are even feeling this way towards her?! You should hate her for making you suffer! You're a fool, William! You know the only reason you want her is because she's the only one you have. You have no choice. You don't even love her. You don't even want to make her happy! You just want her for yourself!!!"/

"You like her, yes?" Asked a familiar voice.

"I don't love her!!!" Stryker shouted impulsively. His eyes suddenly widened. Who did he just answer to? He was the only one in the hallway. He quickly turned around to see if anyone was there, but found no one in sight.

He furrowed his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes. His eyes darted from left to right as he keenly watched his surroundings. He knew he heard a voice. Someone else was there with him. He turned around, and suddenly saw Kurt right in front of his face.

Stryker's eyes opened wide with shock, then he yelped and jumped back with his hand clutching his chest. He could feel his heart beating so fast. Then he suddenly remembered Kurt's powers. Kurt could teleport himself from one place to another in the blink of an eye. And apparently, that's what he just did.

"Hello!" Kurt said with a smile as he waved at Stryker.

Stryker's chest heaved up and down as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes were still wide with surprise as he looked at the blue man in front of him, and he could still feel his heart pounding in his chest. He really didn't know if he would ever get used to Kurt's teleportation ability.

He took a deep breath and looked at the mutant. "Mr. Wagner...Oh god, you almost gave me a heart attack." He said as deep breaths escaped from his lips. His hand continued to clutch his chest while his heartbeat slowed down to a more normal pace. "I do appreciate your company," He added. "But please don't do that again." He looked at Kurt with pleading eyes. He could feel himself calming down now.

"Oh." Kurt said with his eyebrows raised. He forgot that Stryker was still new to the mansion and was not used to his teleporting ability yet. He could still remember the horrified look on the older man's face when he suddenly appeared right in front of him. Stryker looked like he was about to faint.

Kurt made a small, apologetic bow, and then he smiled at him. "I am very sorry for surprising you like that, Mr. Stryker." He said softly. "I think I just got too carried away." He folded his arms and pressed his three-fingered hands together. "It's just that I saw you alone in the hallway...so I thought I would drop by and keep you company. Perhaps I could get to know you better, yes? You tell me about yourself." The smile on his face grew wider as he looked at Stryker.

Stryker arched an eyebrow as he looked back at Kurt. He was quite taken aback by Kurt's optimism and friendliness. And yet, he couldn't help but admire that. Despite the fact that Kurt looked so different, he still wasn't afraid to interact with the people around him. He didn't seem to care what the others might think of his appearance...he was just a young man who wanted to make friends. He was also the first mutant to have ever forgiven him, and Stryker would never forget that.

He sighed and bowed his head down. "Look, Mr. Wagner. If you want to know more about me, then you're better off asking your friends." Then he looked at Kurt. His eyes looked like the eyes of a man who had lost all hope. "They seem to know everything about who I am." He said softly. "They even know me more than I know myself." His last few words almost faded into a whisper.

He couldn't deny the truth behind what he had just said. While he remembered nothing of his past, his victims still remembered everything about it. They knew every facet of the man he used to be, knowing only of his monstrosity, but none of his humanity.

He will always be known as the man that almost killed the entire mutant population. He will always be remembered as the murderous, heartless bastard who only cared for himself. And it pained him whenever they reminded him of his past self. It pained him so much because he himself can't accept the man who he used to be.

Kurt saw the distant look in their former nemesis' eyes. After the words Stryker had just spoken, he knew what he was thinking about.

He stepped towards Stryker and placed his hands on his shoulders. A gentle smile curled up his lips as he looked at him. "My friends do remember the man you once were, and I know that some of them still look at you as such. But I, my friend, would like to know the man who you are now."

Stryker looked back at him, and then he stepped away from Kurt, pulling his shoulders away from his hands. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Wagner..." He said softly. "But there is no new man." His voice was void of any hope, any optimism. He continued to slowly walk backwards. "Can't you see? I'm still me. I'm still the man you once knew. You're just wasting your time." He said coldly.

He clenched his jaw, and then he turned around so that he wasn't facing Kurt anymore. He stood in place and looked at the far end of the hallway "But I thank you for your forgiveness." He said with a hint of gratitude in his voice. "That forgiveness will at least give me an ounce of comfort once my soul is finally burning in hell." Stryker had accepted his fate. He had accepted the fact that he will soon revert to his former self. And that in the end, he would have to pay for his sins, one way or another.

Kurt looked at Stryker's still form. Even if he couldn't see his face, he could still feel his pain. He wanted to reach out to him. He wanted to tell him that a person's past could never make a person's future. He wanted to give him hope...to tell him that people could change if they tried.

"Yuriko..." Kurt whispered.

Stryker's eyes suddenly opened wide as he heard her name. He saw an image of her face in his mind and he felt his chest tighten. And not just her face, but also everything about her. She was the only one that mattered to him, and now she belonged to another.

"I saw the way you were looking at her." Kurt said softly. "Then I asked you if you liked her, and then you said you didn't love her." He emphasized the word 'love'.

Stryker closed his hands into tight fists as he heard Kurt's words. "Because I don't!" He shouted through gritted teeth. Then he turned around to face Kurt, his eyes filled with intensity as he looked at him. "After all, how could I love her?" He asked coldly. "According to your friends, I am man who is incapable of loving...incapable of feeling emotions." He looked away and focused his eyes on glistening windows that lined the wall of the hallway. He didn't even want to think about her anymore. He knew that Logan and Yuriko were still out there in each other's company, and the thought killed him inside. It pained him to see her smile whenever she looked into Logan's eyes. It pained him to see her touching Logan in ways that she could never touch him.

Logan had given her the happiness that he could never give. And it hurt him so much, to the point that he already wanted to revert to his former self and become the heartless, uncaring man that he used to be. Then he would never have to suffer like that again.

"You say that you are incapable of loving." Kurt said softly. "But I asked you if you liked her. Not if you loved her. And yet you deny that you ---"

Stryker breathed in and ran his fingers through his hair. "Look...Can we just stop talking about this for now, Mr. Wagner?" He looked at Kurt, his eyes filled with frustration. "I...I really don't want to think of it right now." His eyes darted from left to right as images of her flooded his mind. He wanted to stop thinking about her, but he couldn't.

"I understand." Kurt said with a humble smile.

Stryker sighed and looked away. "I'm sorry, but I just...I just need some time alone, okay? I need to get my mind off things...keep myself busy...do something to keep her out of my head." He said as he rubbed his hands together. He felt as if he was mumbling to himself...telling himself what to do. He really didn't know what he wanted anymore. Of course he wanted to see Yuriko again, but seeing her would just cause him pain. He was trapped in a situation where winning was not an option.

Kurt's face suddenly perked up, and a wide smile curled up his lips. "Ah! So you want to keep yourself busy!"

Stryker's eyebrows furrowed when he saw the expression on Kurt's face. It was as if a light bulb had lit above the blue man's head, and that somehow worried him. Kurt seemed to have something up his sleeve.

"Um...Well, yes..." He said with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. He wasn't sure if he should have agreed with Mr. Wagner's recent inquiry.

Kurt smiled and stepped towards him. "Good! I know something that would keep you busy all throughout the night." He said happily. He took another step towards Stryker.

Stryker's eyes widened when he saw Kurt move towards him. He forcedly smiled at him and took a step back. His moved his hands in front of him in a refusing manner. "It's really okay, Mr. Wagner. I can take care of myself." He said courteously.

He appreciated Kurt's gesture, but he had a bad feeling about what was going to happen next. Based on his latest encounters in the mansion, those mutants tend to use their powers when he least expected them.

Kurt stepped towards him again. "But I really do want to help you, Mr. Stryker." He said with a smile. His hands seemed to be reaching out to him.

Stryker slowly took another step backwards as Kurt moved even closer to him. They were almost an arm's reach away from each other. "Mr. Wagner...Really, you don't have to help me. I'm fine." He forced a wide smile on his lips as he looked back at Kurt. "See? I'm all right now." He said, trying to make himself sound happy.

"Come on, Mr. Stryker. I really want to help you as a friend." He said as he took another step closer. "You don't have to worry about anything." Kurt smiled and suddenly wrapped his arms around Stryker.

Stryker's eyes widened with shock as he felt Kurt's arms around him. He was about to shout in protest, when the two of them suddenly vanished in a blue cloud of smoke.

= = = = = = = = = = =