Disclaimer: Once again I don't own Trigun or any of its characters even though I would like to -'

Edited!!

Note: Okay first off I would like to thank all those nice reviewers out there who gave me enough courage to post this second part of my fan fic, secondly I would like to say that this chapter is a lot more interesting with a bit of that Meryl and Vash fluff... and finally I would like to say that I will try to remember to put " instead of ' for my speech, its just an annoying little habit I have picked up so without further to do here is my second part:

Chapter 2: Denial

Meryl sat looking up at the patterns of stars that glittered above her trying desperately to re-enact the night when she and Vash had been up on the very same cliff. That memory made her warm with happiness and she clung to it desperately, afraid that she might forget it and be left with nothing of him at all.

That time with him had been almost perfect but of course it had been missing something as all of their time together had been. If only she could have said those three little words, then that time would have been full even if he had not been able to say them back.

'Why is it so hard to say such three simple words?' She mused silently and drew in a deep breath. 'I know why,' her conscience prodded irritatingly. 'Because you know he could never love you, he would laugh or just leave, and you don't want that, do you Meryl?' She clapped her hands over her ears to shut out the voices and for a moment believed she was going mad.

Shuddering from the cold of the night she tugged her jacket tighter around her shoulders and sighed. It was hopeless to try and keep warm when her heart felt so icy cold, nothing could ever warm it - well maybe one thing - but it was too late for that.

'I just have to accept that he is not coming back...' She wiped the tears from her eyes before any could escape.

Running a hand through her raven hair she looked up at the twinkling of the stars again and hoped that maybe Vash was looking up at the very same stars and possibly thinking of her. If only he could see her right now looking so miserable without him, if only he knew that she needed him then maybe everything would be all right, but she knew it was wishful thinking.

"I need you" she whispered to herself and smiled slightly at having admitted this openly to herself. For so long now, she had enclosed her feelings and kept herself from getting close to anyone. Now she had grown so fond of that stupid, pervert, donut-eating man that she could not bear to hide it any longer. He had taken her totally by surprise and ever since she had met him her life had been completely turned upside down.

She had been informed that this outlaw was a womaniser - which was partly true, and a partner with the devil - which was definitely not true. He was the kindest, weirdest person she had ever met but his overall innocence and need to protect people had slowly won her over whether she had wanted it to or not.

When he had told her about himself, about all the pain he had suffered during his long life she hadn't been able to contain the small tear that had trailed down her face. He had seen and accomplished so much in his life and also suffered...possibly too much to ever be able to love someone or trust them.

Closing her eyes she pressed her hand over her aching heart in attempt to warm it and felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She wished that she could blame him for what she was feeling now - for the emptiness in her heart and the constant pain - but she couldn't. It wasn't Vash who was the coward hiding his feelings; he wore his emotions on his sleeve, crying and laughing whenever he felt like it. Meryl could not do such things; she would not allow herself to be seen in such an emotional state in front of others.

Suddenly she heard a sound behind her and jumping in fear she whirled around to see someone she didn't expect. Those large enticing eyes blinked at her and the soft purr that followed brought a smile to her face. The black cat that had been curled up asleep in her bed earlier had come to make her feel better.

"Well hello there little cat." She grinned and stroked a tender part behind its ears. With a loud purr the cat crept up onto her lap and joined in with the stargazing. It was then that Meryl realised how much she had missed the comfort of having someone around, she had never had anyone to love her just like this little stray cat.

"Look at me, comparing myself to you." She laughed and raised her eyes once more to the stars. With a meow the black cat crept up into her arms and closed it's round eyes when she felt another presence behind her. Turning around with frustration she stopped short when she saw who stood there.

Every barrier she had built around herself came crashing down at this unexpected meeting and the days of planning what she would say were long forgotten. She hadn't seen him crossing the desert, which must mean that he had been in town for a while and at this realisation she felt cheated.

Her heart pounded in her chest so loud that she believed that he could hear it and she opened her mouth to talk only to find that she was lost for words. She could do nothing but stare dumbly at him until he broke into one of his amazing smiles and sat down beside her.

"What are you doing out here in the cold?" He asked casually but Meryl could do nothing but shrug and look down at the cat still in her arms.

"Is that cat yours?"

"No" was the only thing she managed to say and carefully she raised her eyes to look at him again, his perfect profile highlighted by the moons' beautiful light and his eyes tired but still containing a little warmth inside of them.

"Are you okay?" He asked again and Meryl noticed how uncomfortable he looked and decided she better at least try to act normal.

"Yeah, things have just been crazy around here lately, that's all. I thought I would get a bit of peace and quiet here, but I didn't count on having a cat or an outlaw for company that's all." She hoped he wouldn't take offence by the comment but she had only offered him her honest answer, or as honest as she would be anyway.

"Yeah I guess so." He replied quietly.

"So does Millie know you are back?"

"Yeah."

"And what about your brother?" Meryl dared to ask.

"He is resting in the house."

"W-What!?" Meryl was sure she would have fallen over if she hadn't been sitting down already, but then after a moment of careful thinking she realised that Vash would never have killed Knives and it should have been expected.

"Don't worry, he is too injured to cause much harm, but when he is healed I will have to take him away from here."

"So you wont be staying then..." Meryl murmured trying not to sound too hurt even though she felt like her heart had just shattered. He really had no idea about her feelings at all - or maybe he did and that was the reason he was leaving as fast as he could.

"I don't know...I really don't know." He whispered and then his face turned towards her and she felt the burn of embarrassment settle in her cheeks.

"Maybe we should head back. You look cold." With that remark he reached out a hand to her.

Meryl blinked and looked at his hand with conflicting emotions, part of her wanted to take his hand but she knew if she did she might not be able to let go and that would lead to even more uncomfortable situations.

Before she could even think, she had jumped to her feet and took a couple of steps back before he could touch her and had turned to walk as fast as she could down the cliff, her violet eyes shimmering with sadness. Unknowing to the short insurance girl was the hurt expression that Vash wore openly on his face.

Okay I'm not sure what to think of this and yes I do love the little black cat...so cyuute . any way please leave a review and I promise the main story will start to become apparent in the next chapter as well as a bit more fluff...well a lot more than what was in this chapter. Sooooo go ahead and review for me cos I loooove them.

'Love and Peace'