Disclaimer: I can honestly say I own nothing!

Warnings: major OOCness!

A/N: I got this idea after reading the FotR when Bilbo shouts 'I don't suppose you will be able to keep a diary, Frodo my lad, but I shall expect a full account when you get back!'- The Fellowship of the ring chapter 'the ring goes south'.

DAY ONE.

11.ooam.

I'm leaving Rivendell today. Bilbo gave me this diary to record my journey, be he never gave me any ink or quills. His has serious short-term memory loss. Oh, I also got a sword, for what use I don't know, I can't fight! And he gave me a mithril chain mail to wear underneath my clothes. It's very prettyful and shinyful!

Oh, there goes that damn bell again! Stupid bell and it's annoying ringing! It rings at like, three in the morning. For what purpose I do not know, but these elves are mad!

Sam loves them though he keeps saying stuff like 'oh, Mr. Frodo did you see that elf!' 'Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo, look at these elvish designs' 'Mr. Frodo! An elf just talked to me!' it is just so annoying! I was even thinking of buying him an elf for his birthday, but I didn't know where to get one, and then there's the issue about money... so I gave him an elvish statue instead. I'm sure Elrond won't mind... I hope...

The food here also has much to be desired, I mean, yeah, it's good... for elven food, but I can't see myself surviving on this stuff long-term. Pippin loves it though... Merry says it's awful. For once in my life... I agree withy him!

2.00pm.

My fellow travellers are Gandalf, the extremely annoying, he took full leadership of the group because he's 'the oldest and wisest'... yeah right.

The next person is Aragorn; he's cool in the sort of I'm-a-big-brooding-ranger-so-don't-mess-with-me kind of way.

Sam, Merry and Pippin, just invited themselves along, although I'm glad they did, I couldn't stand this journey without some homely reminders, so to speak. Although I worry about Merry's carrot obsession...

Legolas is some elf prince with absolutely no brains, honestly! If you blew helium through his ears and tie a string to him, you have an air balloon! I bet he's older than Gandalf though.

Boromir is some dude with a serious attitude; I'll have to watch out for him.

Gimli, whom I first thought was a moving hillock, is a dwarf. He likes axes...

We set off after Elrond gave us a 'going away on a perilous mission speech' I didn't listen... I don't think anyone did. Merry started twiddling his thumbs and Legolas started doing his hair. Aragorn listened however; I think he's trying to get a car off him because I've never seen someone suck up so much to another person. Sam stared at Legolas the whole time.

7.00pm

Dinner was quiet so we don't attract awareness to our presence. It was fun though. I got Legolas' food because he's 'watching his figure' so yay for me! Sam ate enough food to feed the whole of Brandy hall! Well, maybe that's exaggerating a bit, but he did eat more than me, and I had two shares!

Merry started to get twitchy, and he kept scratching his behind, and when Boromir shouted at him 'what's wrong with you?' did we realise he was sitting in a patch of nettles. Oh, well I don't think brains run in the family.

Legolas and Aragorn went off somewhere. I don't know where, but I think love in the air. Either that or it's the broccoli burning...

We kept walking after that for a few hours, then we found like the hardest ground in the history of Middle-Earth! I mean, come on... dried dirt? That's the best we could have found in fields and fields of grass? Eh... I'm not bothered.

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I know it's a bit mad, al right, but please R&R anyway. I will certainly take any flames or bashings from you, anything to get reviews! So if you want to say how much you hate this and me please drop a review. And even if you love this, please drop a review anyway!