Disclaimer: No I don't own Trigun, I don't own anything.
Note: Yay the tenth chapter here we come, I won't keep on talking long this time even though I know you enjoy listening to me talk *crickets chirp* well just to let you know that this fic is nearing its end, I am guessing about four maybe five chapters left.
I have to apologise for the long wait, I can't remember when I updated last but it hasn't been for a few weeks now. There are reasons for this though:
- Lack of inspiration to make the chapter long enough
- A few of my reviews for the last chapter weren't showing up until recently.
- I came up with about three different endings for the chapter and had to decide on which one to use; Vash stays...Vash leaves with Knives...Knives disappears and Vash follows (read on to find out what one I finally decided to use.)
Well maybe I lied about not talking long, sorry about that, anyway now to thank my wonderful reviewers...I got ten this time so I'm really REALLY happy.
Blu - I agree that Millie and Wolfwood are more suited but I just couldn't bring myself to make Wolfwood miraculously live and change decisions made in the anime. Glad you liked my last chapter.
Allen - Thank you for your kind review I'm glad you are enjoying my fan fic.
SnapDragon76 - yay glad u registered and I'm extra glad that you enjoyed my last chapter.
Silverado6000 - Yeah I thought that it would only be appropriate that Vash realised what was happening - don't ask me why though - it just felt like the right thing to do. I agree that Vash probably isn't affected by alcohol as much as he lets people think as well, for the same reasons you put (glad I aint the only one). I'm glad you liked the last chapter I was pretty proud of it ^-^.
Rainy-days13 - Yup drunk vashie, glad you liked it and thanks for your review.
Darkraven - Yeah they kissed, I thought it was about time I made the two do something more than hug. Thanks for the review.
Dustdragon - I'm glad you liked the ending of the last chapter; I thought it would be good to end on something sweet. Thanks for your review
SolarBreeze07 - Glad you like the pairings; I'll try to do a little more Knives/Millie in the future chapters but maybe not so much in this one. Thanks for your review.
Sake21 - Glad you still like the story, thanks for your review.
Neptune Butterfly - Glad you liked all the fluff in my last chapter and you'll have to keep reading to find out what happens next, this was probably the hardest chapter to write so I hope you enjoy it and I will definitely drop by sometime.
Chapter 10 - Confession
The sunlight was shining delicately through the thin curtains that morning, making the whole room glow with a warm golden light. Vash opened his eyes and blinked the sleep out of them before yawning quietly; the intense light blinded him briefly so he shut them to block out the rays of the suns.
The bed felt strangely warmer and more comforting than usual and he snuggled down further to try and bury his head under the covers. Letting out a sigh of contentment he closed his eyes tighter and tried to fall asleep again. He was just drifting off when he felt something move beside him and his eyes flew open to see the beautiful face of the insurance girl beside him.
His heart leapt into his throat and he backed up slightly in sudden fear of what might have occurred. Then he remembered what had happened, the drinking and the dancing and...the kiss. 'Did that really happen?' He questioned his own actions but something in the back of his mind told him that it had.
Feeling slightly panicked at what he had done and how she had reacted to him he jumped from the bed and staggered backwards. The girl in the bed was totally unaware, sound asleep and for the first time looking completely relaxed and happy. His heart warmed at the sight of her in such a tranquil state and he found himself smiling warmly at her. 'That kiss...' the memory kept repeating again and again in his head, she hadn't rejected him as he had believed she would 'she never pushed me away.' He admitted to himself reluctantly, but maybe that was because she was tired and didn't know what she was doing. He hoped that was the case.
She stirred lightly and he dashed out of the door and into the hall hoping that she wouldn't remember what had happened.
"I can't believe I did that." He thought aloud and stretched lazily.
"Did what?" A little voice from behind him said and he jumped a foot in the air.
"Hey, didn't anyone teach you to not sneak up on people!" He growled and eyed Ashley warily; he was slowly learning not to trust women especially the little ones.
"Nope." She beamed up at him, "So how was your night?" She winked suggestively at him and he blushed deeply.
"Aren't you a little...well...young to know about that kind of thing?" His blush increased.
"Hmm naw I wouldn't think so, why are you blushing?"
"No reason, and just for your information NOTHING happened." He turned and dashed down the stairs to escape from the little menace who just wouldn't leave him alone.
Milly looked up from her place at the table as Vash entered the room looking extremely uncomfortable and flustered. She pushed the black cat off of her lap and stood up waving a pot of pudding at him.
"Want one?" She asked innocently but couldn't hide the smile that was appearing on her face.
"No thanks, I think you should teach that girl more manners." He whined and flopped down on the couch looking absolutely miserable.
"Vash did something happen last night?" Millie enquired gently and spotted Ashley in the corner of her eye.
"No." He replied simply and she noticed he had put on his sunglasses - she hadn't seen those in a while.
"Are you sure?" She asked again as she got up to move beside him.
Ashley entered the room fully to join them in the living room and tried to listen in on the conversation but they were whispering so quietly it was practically sign language. Sighing miserably she decided to go out and get some fresh air to leave the sulking outlaw to talk to Millie.
***Meryl's POV***
I woke up feeling the dull ache in my ribs and winced as I rolled over and stretched out on the bed. Slowly my head stopped buzzing and I opened my eyes to the bright sunshine that trickled through the window. It seemed like such a nice day and for some reason I couldn't rid myself of the smile that had grown over night.
I had the most wonderful dream last night and the memory of it lingered in my thoughts and warmed my very soul. 'You're pathetic' I thought to myself with a shake of my head, 'you put all your feelings into a simple dream' Sighing I stood up and felt the ache of the muscles in my legs from all the walking and dancing I had done. Even if it were a dream it was as good as the real thing and better still; no one would ever know. It would be my little secret to keep in my heart forever.
Looking through the draws I found some clothes and walked out into the hall so I could shower before making an appearance downstairs. The water felt extraordinarily warm and I stretched under the gentle caress of the water drops, yet the ominous feeling that something was going to happen could not be washed away.
Feeling refreshed and content for the first time in weeks I made my way downstairs and into the lounge and found that no one was there. The house was completely silent and I shivered as I realised I was extremely alone - if I didn't count Knives. Making my way to the kitchen I poured myself a glass of water and drank it slowly to try and pass the time quicker.
'Where have they all gone?' I wondered and flopped down on the couch to get the best view of the door. Millie had never said anything to me about shopping and surely Vash couldn't have...left. Then again he had told me a few times that he would be leaving and that Millie and I would not be able to follow. Taking this into account I started to wonder what would happen to our jobs, if we let Vash just walk away then we would most likely be demoted and put back into the offices to work on reports all day and everyday. That thought made me cringe, after living an exciting life and travelling around the world, would I be happy to just sit behind a desk? Would I be happy living a simple existence and most of all: would I be happy living my life without Vash there to brighten my day?
I heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs and my heart rose as I realised that I wasn't alone in the house. This feeling of joy was instantly crushed as I saw Knives appear, his icy gaze fixed on me and a scowl creased his features. We stood in silence staring at each other, both of us too proud to look away first.
"Where is my brother?" He asked impatiently.
"I'm not sure, you shouldn't be walking in your condition."
"Idiot." He snapped, "I heal much quicker than you pathetic humans." He tore his gaze away and glanced around the room to confirm that no one else was there.
"At least sit down." I broke the silence and he narrowed his eyes in irritation.
"I can't believe my brother has feelings for you." With that remark he crossed the room and sat down on a chair.
"Wha-what?" I stammered at his remark and couldn't hide the blush that was steadily creeping into my face.
He laughed and closed his eyes, which I was glad of, his eyes were terrifyingly cold. Shivering slightly I huddled into the couch further and watched him nervously. For a long while he remained silent and I almost believed that he had fallen asleep until his eyes opened again. This time they seemed less clouded and almost glossy with contentment. 'Why doesn't he kill me?' I thought.
"There would be no point to killing you, plus I made a promise to my brother." I jumped in surprise at having my unspoken question answered and I felt the starting of panic rise inside me.
"H-how did you know what I was thinking?" I cursed at the way my voice shook.
"Now that's my little secret." He grinned.
'That creep, getting into my thoughts.' I tried to stop myself from thinking but it was impossible and I saw the amusement in his face at seeing my impossible struggle.
"It is futile." He sighed and repositioned himself more comfortable on the chair and stretched out his legs.
"Can Vash do that too?" I asked nervously, 'What if he read my thoughts when I was thinking about him!?' A nervous twisting began in my stomach and I shuddered in terror.
"Of course." Came Knives reply and I forced back the feeling of utter panic and shame.
"Oh." I managed to choke.
"Don't worry human, Vash doesn't look into anyone's minds. He says it's breaking into something that should never be looked into."
"And he's right! A mind is someone's most private feelings, you cant just go and snoop around in people's thoughts."
"So that's why my brother likes you." Knives looked at me with a strange glint in his eyes.
"How do you know that?"
"It's obvious." He shrugged and suddenly the door flew open and Millie entered with bags of groceries in her arms.
***Normal POV***
Millie paused in the doorway and clung tighter to the bags that she was holding, her eyes settled on Knives and then on Meryl who were both looking at her with anxious glances. Millie pushed back the strange feelings inside of her and grinned happily to her friend who was now standing and making her way towards her.
"Hello Meryl." Millie began as she walked over to the small kitchen to put the groceries down on the side. Meryl smiled slightly up at her friend before digging around in the bags.
"I never knew that you were going shopping today." She said as she found the boxes of donuts piled up in one of the bags.
"I thought I might as well and I didn't want to wake you."
"I didn't mean to sleep so long." Meryl admitted as she packed away the food into the cupboards.
"I guess you tired yourself out last night." Millie grinned at her blushing friend.
After putting away all the groceries Millie looked nervously back at Knives who sat silently in the chair. He seemed to watch her - not with hate - but with deep curiosity and she wondered what could be so interesting about her.
"Where is Vash?" Meryl asked quietly, her embarrassment still obvious.
"He went to check on Ashley." Millie informed as she sat down on the couch.
"Why?"
"I don't know, he was bored I guess." Millie shrugged but even Meryl could tell that something wasn't quite right. 'Is Vash trying to avoid me?' She wondered and glanced over at Knives who nodded in reply to her unspoken question. 'Then it's true, he is avoiding me because he knows he has to leave, he is ashamed.' This time she didn't need to look to Knives for an answer, she knew in her heart that he had to leave.
"Meryl." Millie whispered and the two locked eyes.
"Yes?"
"Vash is leaving today." Her voice was barely audible but at the same time deafening, Meryl thought her heart would fail her and she would collapse on the ground and die, 'maybe that would be better.' She thought to herself sadly.
"I had a feeling he was leaving soon." She whispered with her face lowered to hide the traces of tears that had gathered in her violet orbs.
"I tried to talk him out of it this morning." Millie muttered as she caught sight of a tear in Meryl's eyes.
"What did he say?"
"He said he couldn't stay."
"That's it?" Meryl pushed back the tears and forced her anger to cover up the grief that she felt. "That idiot thinks about no one but himself!" She yelled and ran up the stairs leaving Millie and Knives alone in the lounge. They regarded each other sadly and let the silence consume them.
* * * * * *
Vash found Ashley sitting on the cliff where he and Meryl had sat together just a couple of months ago. Instead of being bathed in moonlight - which made everything silver under its touch - the sunlight soaked them in gold. The sand of the desert glowed with an inner fire that made everything seem alive and the whirling of a heat wave on the horizon distorted his vision slightly.
The child sat just ahead of him, totally oblivious to his presence and relaxed in the warm embrace of the twin suns. Her braided hair flowed back away from her pale face revealing large, sparkling eyes to the desert below. The beauty that flowed her could only exist in the innocence of youth. Yet underneath the naivety and purity was a very intelligent child who knew much more than others her age.
Vash paused to look at the girl with admiration, she was so strong for being so young and she had a wondrous talent for reading other peoples' emotions. In a way she was exactly like Millie.
"What are you doing up here?" He put on his cheerful façade. Ashley instantly turned her bright eyes to look at him and smiled cheerfully.
"I just wanted to look at the desert."
"There's nothing much interesting about that, it's always the same."
"That's just it, no matter how the world changes the desert will always be the same...familiar." Her voice was almost a whisper and Vash regarded her with curiosity.
"I guess that's true." He admitted.
"I just wanted you to be happy." She continued and he looked at her again, catching sight of tears that shimmered in her eyes.
"I am happy."
"No your not." Ashley stated firmly.
"What makes you say that?"
"You don't want to leave, but you're doing it anyway."
"I don't mind."
"So you're denying that you love her?" Ashley turned her glassy eyes to the outlaw sitting beside her. "You are saying you don't have feelings for her?"
"What are you taking about?" Vash blushed slightly.
"Meryl, I'm talking about Meryl." The little girl sighed miserably and looked back out across the wasteland.
For a long time the two sat in silence and finally Vash broke the silence, he leaned forward to rest his head in his hands and sighed despondently. "I do." He muttered.
"Millie and I just wanted you to be happy Vash."
"I know, but sometimes no matter how much you wish for something to be true it doesn't happen. I'm sorry."
"It's not me you should be apologising to." The girl remarked and Vash was stunned by how sharp the child was.
"You're right, will you take care of her for me when I'm gone?"
"Of course, it's the least I can do for her. She saved my life after all." Ashley regained her smile and stood up, the breeze caressing her face and slipping between the strands of hair.
Walking back down to the house the two spoke about more normal things, both trying to forget their grief and continue acting as if nothing was wrong. It didn't take them long to get home and as they entered Millie and Knives looked up at them.
Vash was glad that his brother was walking around, it would mean that he didn't have to carry him and yet seeing how relaxed his brother seemed in the company of humans was comforting. 'Maybe when he is fully recovered I can come back to visit them.' He cheered up at that prospect.
"Is it time for us to go brother?" Knives murmured in his emotionless tone.
"In a little while Knives, I have to go say goodbye to Meryl." At that statement Millie gave a small sob, which was as painful as a physical blow, and Ashley ran over to comfort the tall insurance girl.
Vash felt incredibly guilty at what he was doing to the girls. He realised that all the time they had been together as a group they had become close friends. He just wished that he could tell them how much this was hurting him but as it was, he couldn't.
He would never leave his brother again, he had made a promise to take care of him and he was definitely going to. He could not be selfish and just follow his heart when his twin needed him for emotional and physical support.
He made his way up the stairs knowing that Meryl would be there without even needing to ask. A terrible feeling of guilt and despair flowed over him but he knew he couldn't leave without saying goodbye. He didn't want to deny himself a last few words with her and he couldn't just leave without saying anything...again.
Tapping lightly on the door he was greeted by the faint clicking sounds of the typewriter and sighed, Meryl was never in a good mood when she had reports to write. He pushed the door open slightly and peered around it to look into the well-lit room.
A window was opened wide and the lacy curtains fluttered inside the room as the breeze freshened the pretty little room. Meryl sat at the small desk that was just right of the window a pencil behind her ear and hair mussed from running her hands through it - most likely in irritation. He smiled at how cute she was when she was working and so lost in thought.
"Hi." He murmured sheepishly as he entered the room. She jumped out of her skin and whirled round, terror flashing in her eyes. He cursed himself from sneaking up on her and being so insensitive. Considering that she had only just gotten over her fears it had been a stupid thing to do.
"Damn Vash you shouldn't sneak up on people like that!" She exclaimed as she stood up and straightened her hair. He laughed as he realised that had been practically the same thing he had said to Ashley this morning.
"I'm sorry." He rubbed at the back of his head in embarrassment.
"You came to say goodbye didn't you." Meryl said as she took the pencil from behind her ear and placed it on the desk.
***Meryl's POV***
He looked at me with an unreadable expression; his once bright eyes that were filled with life, now dull with a deep emotion. I knew what he was going to say and I had already planned what I was going to tell him. Yes I was going to confess my undying love to him whether he wanted to hear it or not, how I was going to go about it I wasn't too sure.
I noticed also how tense he looked and the blonde hair that flopped over his face caused pale shadows on his skin. I drew in a deep breath hoping that sudden inspiration would hit me and I would be able to express my feelings correctly.
"Vash I..." my breath caught in my throat at seeing the tears in his eyes, I know I shouldn't have been shocked at seeing him cry but I was so confused and it just didn't seem like something he would cry about. 'Is he really going to miss me...us?' I thought but shook that from my mind.
Like an idiot I just stood there looking at him as he wept silently in front of me, I couldn't go to comfort him because if I did I might not be able to let him go. I calmed my flailing heart and opened my mouth to try again but was interrupted.
"Meryl I know you probably will want to follow me because of your job and everything but...just promise me that you wont." His voice was so quiet but I could hear him perfectly.
"I can't promise that Vash." I replied sadly, "If we are asked to chase after you then we have to do it, it's our job after all."
"But Meryl." He sounded desperate now, "Don't you care that your life will be at risk?"
"Vash...you still don't understand do you? My job is my life." I made sure to look at the ground when saying this my mind screaming at me to tell him now, it was the perfect time, 'you are my life' I wished I had said it out loud.
"Then maybe you should find something else more important."
"You don't have the right to tell me how to live my life!" I snapped 'I already have.' I answered mentally.
"Please Meryl." He seemed to be even more tired then before, he didn't want an argument with me.
"If it will make you happy then I'll quit my job." I told him and he looked up at me, his eyes wide in shock, he obviously had not expected that remark.
"You mean it?"
"Yes."
"But why?" He blinked and stepped closer but instinctively I stepped back.
"You really don't know?" I thought he might have some idea of my feelings - that I would do anything to make him happy - even quit my job.
"Know what?" Nope he had no idea, trust clueless Vash to be so blind.
"For a while now Vash...I...well I've known you for a long time...and I have seen everything you have had to endure...I have seen into your true personality. This is difficult for me to say so I think I'll just come straight out and say it...what I mean is that..." I paused mentally kicking myself 'he must think I'm such an idiot' I cleared my throat to try again.
"I'm still waiting." Vash reminded and I felt the anger flare up inside me, here I was trying to spill my heart out and all he could do was make rude comments.
"Will you just shut your mouth and listen to me you idiot!" I practically screamed and smiled at seeing him flinch. He looked so cute when he was scared.
"O-okay." He stammered.
Well here goes nothing, if this isn't the time to tell him there never would be and I let my gaze fall to the floor. My heart was pounding so loudly that I was sure he could hear it and a sickening writhing started in my stomach.
"Vash...I think...well actually I know...I'm in love with you." I wish I had heard his answer, but one glance into those stunned eyes was enough to tell me that I had been rejected. I dashed past him before he could stop me and locked myself in the room where Knives had been staying; yes I know that sounds pathetic but you have to understand. I knew that he was going to reject me, tell me that it was okay and I shouldn't be embarrassed of my feeling, because that was the kind of person he was. Even though I knew he would never be cruel I didn't want to hear his words of pity for me.
I knew that putting him in that position was probably just as awkward for him but I needed to tell him. Now that I had I would be able to move on with my life and possibly find someone else 'yeah right' I thought miserably, the most I could hope for was that I would still have a job at the end of the day.
I heard him leave a few moments later and the sound of the door closing behind him and his brother finally allowed the tears to flow freely. A feeling of deep shame at my actions swept over me and even worse was the regret of telling him and becoming another of his burdens. That thought almost killed me but I knew that I had to carry on; I still had Millie and Ashley to take care of after all.
***Vash's POV***
I can't believe I just heard her say that, I never ever believed I would hear those words from her. I had never suspected a thing - maybe guys are as dense as women say they are - and Ashley and Millie had known, they must have known something to want to set us up together.
I was so shocked that I didn't even notice that she wasn't even in the room anymore and that I was alone, staring into nothing. Then when I had finally recovered from the shock of her confession I realised that she must have taken my shocked silence as a rejection. 'It's just as well she did' I thought, 'if I had told her the truth it would have been harder for her to move on with her life when I leave.'
Sadly I walked down the stairs and into the living room where Knives was standing ready by the door, his head bowed slightly with impatience. Millie was standing in the kitchen looking for something in the cupboard and Ashley was sitting on the couch. She jumped up as she saw me enter and grabbed my hand tightly.
"You better write." She gave me one of her 'there's no choice in the matter' looks just like Meryl used and I nodded.
"Where will you be going?" I asked.
"Home." Millie replied as she walked over, she had two boxes of donuts in her arms and I felt the tears building in my eyes. I took the donuts gratefully and hugged them against me.
"Well I guess that's for the best." I felt Knives' icy gaze on me and sighed. Knowing that he didn't want to wait much longer.
"Goodbye then." I put on my best smile and headed for the door making sure not to look back.
I walked in a daze, hardly aware of Ashley and Millie yelling a final goodbye, or the bite of the sand on my skin. I even forgot that my brother was walking contentedly beside me, he was probably happy to get me away from them. The only thing that my mind could focus on was Meryl, everything else seemed unimportant and the look in her eyes at seeing my reaction to her confession kept replaying in my mind.
'Why did she have to tell me?' I wondered.
"Because she didn't want to be weighed down by the secret for the rest of her life." Knives answered and I shrugged.
"Even if that was true, why did she leave it to the last minute?"
"Human's are weak, she was scared to tell you her true feelings." Knives scoffed.
"No she isn't." I snapped and he grinned.
"So I hit a sensitive spot did I?" He laughed and for a split second I saw something like happiness glint in his eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I grinned but I could tell that Knives already knew my feelings for her. He seemed to know a lot about everything.
"Will you write to them?" Knives asked.
"No." I said simply. As cold as it may seem I knew that if I wrote, it would reopen painful wounds for both Meryl and me and she would never be able to move on. It would be better for both of us if we could just forget and move on.
"It's not like you to be so heartless and selfish brother." Knives looked at me curiously.
"It's for the best." I replied and he nodded and looked ahead.
My mind was blurred with grief and the only thing I could think about was the kiss that Meryl and I had shared. 'Why hadn't she mentioned it?' I wondered, 'maybe she didn't remember it, she had been half asleep' I hoped desperately that she didn't remember.
* * * Normal POV***
Standing on the outskirts of town a lone figure stood dressed in gold to match the desert and eyes fixed on the two approaching figures. The shoulders shook with silent laughter and stepping back the stranger waited for the right moment to strike the unsuspecting victims.
"I finally found them, now I can get my revenge." The voice swirled with the breeze and faded so that no one could ever hear it.
* * * * * *
Well there you go, its quite a short chapter and you are probably hating me for making Vash leave but don't worry there are more surprises in store - well maybe - so make sure you leave me a review and I'll try and get the next chapter up soon.
'Love and Peace' (=*.*=) (''')
Note: Yay the tenth chapter here we come, I won't keep on talking long this time even though I know you enjoy listening to me talk *crickets chirp* well just to let you know that this fic is nearing its end, I am guessing about four maybe five chapters left.
I have to apologise for the long wait, I can't remember when I updated last but it hasn't been for a few weeks now. There are reasons for this though:
- Lack of inspiration to make the chapter long enough
- A few of my reviews for the last chapter weren't showing up until recently.
- I came up with about three different endings for the chapter and had to decide on which one to use; Vash stays...Vash leaves with Knives...Knives disappears and Vash follows (read on to find out what one I finally decided to use.)
Well maybe I lied about not talking long, sorry about that, anyway now to thank my wonderful reviewers...I got ten this time so I'm really REALLY happy.
Blu - I agree that Millie and Wolfwood are more suited but I just couldn't bring myself to make Wolfwood miraculously live and change decisions made in the anime. Glad you liked my last chapter.
Allen - Thank you for your kind review I'm glad you are enjoying my fan fic.
SnapDragon76 - yay glad u registered and I'm extra glad that you enjoyed my last chapter.
Silverado6000 - Yeah I thought that it would only be appropriate that Vash realised what was happening - don't ask me why though - it just felt like the right thing to do. I agree that Vash probably isn't affected by alcohol as much as he lets people think as well, for the same reasons you put (glad I aint the only one). I'm glad you liked the last chapter I was pretty proud of it ^-^.
Rainy-days13 - Yup drunk vashie, glad you liked it and thanks for your review.
Darkraven - Yeah they kissed, I thought it was about time I made the two do something more than hug. Thanks for the review.
Dustdragon - I'm glad you liked the ending of the last chapter; I thought it would be good to end on something sweet. Thanks for your review
SolarBreeze07 - Glad you like the pairings; I'll try to do a little more Knives/Millie in the future chapters but maybe not so much in this one. Thanks for your review.
Sake21 - Glad you still like the story, thanks for your review.
Neptune Butterfly - Glad you liked all the fluff in my last chapter and you'll have to keep reading to find out what happens next, this was probably the hardest chapter to write so I hope you enjoy it and I will definitely drop by sometime.
Chapter 10 - Confession
The sunlight was shining delicately through the thin curtains that morning, making the whole room glow with a warm golden light. Vash opened his eyes and blinked the sleep out of them before yawning quietly; the intense light blinded him briefly so he shut them to block out the rays of the suns.
The bed felt strangely warmer and more comforting than usual and he snuggled down further to try and bury his head under the covers. Letting out a sigh of contentment he closed his eyes tighter and tried to fall asleep again. He was just drifting off when he felt something move beside him and his eyes flew open to see the beautiful face of the insurance girl beside him.
His heart leapt into his throat and he backed up slightly in sudden fear of what might have occurred. Then he remembered what had happened, the drinking and the dancing and...the kiss. 'Did that really happen?' He questioned his own actions but something in the back of his mind told him that it had.
Feeling slightly panicked at what he had done and how she had reacted to him he jumped from the bed and staggered backwards. The girl in the bed was totally unaware, sound asleep and for the first time looking completely relaxed and happy. His heart warmed at the sight of her in such a tranquil state and he found himself smiling warmly at her. 'That kiss...' the memory kept repeating again and again in his head, she hadn't rejected him as he had believed she would 'she never pushed me away.' He admitted to himself reluctantly, but maybe that was because she was tired and didn't know what she was doing. He hoped that was the case.
She stirred lightly and he dashed out of the door and into the hall hoping that she wouldn't remember what had happened.
"I can't believe I did that." He thought aloud and stretched lazily.
"Did what?" A little voice from behind him said and he jumped a foot in the air.
"Hey, didn't anyone teach you to not sneak up on people!" He growled and eyed Ashley warily; he was slowly learning not to trust women especially the little ones.
"Nope." She beamed up at him, "So how was your night?" She winked suggestively at him and he blushed deeply.
"Aren't you a little...well...young to know about that kind of thing?" His blush increased.
"Hmm naw I wouldn't think so, why are you blushing?"
"No reason, and just for your information NOTHING happened." He turned and dashed down the stairs to escape from the little menace who just wouldn't leave him alone.
Milly looked up from her place at the table as Vash entered the room looking extremely uncomfortable and flustered. She pushed the black cat off of her lap and stood up waving a pot of pudding at him.
"Want one?" She asked innocently but couldn't hide the smile that was appearing on her face.
"No thanks, I think you should teach that girl more manners." He whined and flopped down on the couch looking absolutely miserable.
"Vash did something happen last night?" Millie enquired gently and spotted Ashley in the corner of her eye.
"No." He replied simply and she noticed he had put on his sunglasses - she hadn't seen those in a while.
"Are you sure?" She asked again as she got up to move beside him.
Ashley entered the room fully to join them in the living room and tried to listen in on the conversation but they were whispering so quietly it was practically sign language. Sighing miserably she decided to go out and get some fresh air to leave the sulking outlaw to talk to Millie.
***Meryl's POV***
I woke up feeling the dull ache in my ribs and winced as I rolled over and stretched out on the bed. Slowly my head stopped buzzing and I opened my eyes to the bright sunshine that trickled through the window. It seemed like such a nice day and for some reason I couldn't rid myself of the smile that had grown over night.
I had the most wonderful dream last night and the memory of it lingered in my thoughts and warmed my very soul. 'You're pathetic' I thought to myself with a shake of my head, 'you put all your feelings into a simple dream' Sighing I stood up and felt the ache of the muscles in my legs from all the walking and dancing I had done. Even if it were a dream it was as good as the real thing and better still; no one would ever know. It would be my little secret to keep in my heart forever.
Looking through the draws I found some clothes and walked out into the hall so I could shower before making an appearance downstairs. The water felt extraordinarily warm and I stretched under the gentle caress of the water drops, yet the ominous feeling that something was going to happen could not be washed away.
Feeling refreshed and content for the first time in weeks I made my way downstairs and into the lounge and found that no one was there. The house was completely silent and I shivered as I realised I was extremely alone - if I didn't count Knives. Making my way to the kitchen I poured myself a glass of water and drank it slowly to try and pass the time quicker.
'Where have they all gone?' I wondered and flopped down on the couch to get the best view of the door. Millie had never said anything to me about shopping and surely Vash couldn't have...left. Then again he had told me a few times that he would be leaving and that Millie and I would not be able to follow. Taking this into account I started to wonder what would happen to our jobs, if we let Vash just walk away then we would most likely be demoted and put back into the offices to work on reports all day and everyday. That thought made me cringe, after living an exciting life and travelling around the world, would I be happy to just sit behind a desk? Would I be happy living a simple existence and most of all: would I be happy living my life without Vash there to brighten my day?
I heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs and my heart rose as I realised that I wasn't alone in the house. This feeling of joy was instantly crushed as I saw Knives appear, his icy gaze fixed on me and a scowl creased his features. We stood in silence staring at each other, both of us too proud to look away first.
"Where is my brother?" He asked impatiently.
"I'm not sure, you shouldn't be walking in your condition."
"Idiot." He snapped, "I heal much quicker than you pathetic humans." He tore his gaze away and glanced around the room to confirm that no one else was there.
"At least sit down." I broke the silence and he narrowed his eyes in irritation.
"I can't believe my brother has feelings for you." With that remark he crossed the room and sat down on a chair.
"Wha-what?" I stammered at his remark and couldn't hide the blush that was steadily creeping into my face.
He laughed and closed his eyes, which I was glad of, his eyes were terrifyingly cold. Shivering slightly I huddled into the couch further and watched him nervously. For a long while he remained silent and I almost believed that he had fallen asleep until his eyes opened again. This time they seemed less clouded and almost glossy with contentment. 'Why doesn't he kill me?' I thought.
"There would be no point to killing you, plus I made a promise to my brother." I jumped in surprise at having my unspoken question answered and I felt the starting of panic rise inside me.
"H-how did you know what I was thinking?" I cursed at the way my voice shook.
"Now that's my little secret." He grinned.
'That creep, getting into my thoughts.' I tried to stop myself from thinking but it was impossible and I saw the amusement in his face at seeing my impossible struggle.
"It is futile." He sighed and repositioned himself more comfortable on the chair and stretched out his legs.
"Can Vash do that too?" I asked nervously, 'What if he read my thoughts when I was thinking about him!?' A nervous twisting began in my stomach and I shuddered in terror.
"Of course." Came Knives reply and I forced back the feeling of utter panic and shame.
"Oh." I managed to choke.
"Don't worry human, Vash doesn't look into anyone's minds. He says it's breaking into something that should never be looked into."
"And he's right! A mind is someone's most private feelings, you cant just go and snoop around in people's thoughts."
"So that's why my brother likes you." Knives looked at me with a strange glint in his eyes.
"How do you know that?"
"It's obvious." He shrugged and suddenly the door flew open and Millie entered with bags of groceries in her arms.
***Normal POV***
Millie paused in the doorway and clung tighter to the bags that she was holding, her eyes settled on Knives and then on Meryl who were both looking at her with anxious glances. Millie pushed back the strange feelings inside of her and grinned happily to her friend who was now standing and making her way towards her.
"Hello Meryl." Millie began as she walked over to the small kitchen to put the groceries down on the side. Meryl smiled slightly up at her friend before digging around in the bags.
"I never knew that you were going shopping today." She said as she found the boxes of donuts piled up in one of the bags.
"I thought I might as well and I didn't want to wake you."
"I didn't mean to sleep so long." Meryl admitted as she packed away the food into the cupboards.
"I guess you tired yourself out last night." Millie grinned at her blushing friend.
After putting away all the groceries Millie looked nervously back at Knives who sat silently in the chair. He seemed to watch her - not with hate - but with deep curiosity and she wondered what could be so interesting about her.
"Where is Vash?" Meryl asked quietly, her embarrassment still obvious.
"He went to check on Ashley." Millie informed as she sat down on the couch.
"Why?"
"I don't know, he was bored I guess." Millie shrugged but even Meryl could tell that something wasn't quite right. 'Is Vash trying to avoid me?' She wondered and glanced over at Knives who nodded in reply to her unspoken question. 'Then it's true, he is avoiding me because he knows he has to leave, he is ashamed.' This time she didn't need to look to Knives for an answer, she knew in her heart that he had to leave.
"Meryl." Millie whispered and the two locked eyes.
"Yes?"
"Vash is leaving today." Her voice was barely audible but at the same time deafening, Meryl thought her heart would fail her and she would collapse on the ground and die, 'maybe that would be better.' She thought to herself sadly.
"I had a feeling he was leaving soon." She whispered with her face lowered to hide the traces of tears that had gathered in her violet orbs.
"I tried to talk him out of it this morning." Millie muttered as she caught sight of a tear in Meryl's eyes.
"What did he say?"
"He said he couldn't stay."
"That's it?" Meryl pushed back the tears and forced her anger to cover up the grief that she felt. "That idiot thinks about no one but himself!" She yelled and ran up the stairs leaving Millie and Knives alone in the lounge. They regarded each other sadly and let the silence consume them.
* * * * * *
Vash found Ashley sitting on the cliff where he and Meryl had sat together just a couple of months ago. Instead of being bathed in moonlight - which made everything silver under its touch - the sunlight soaked them in gold. The sand of the desert glowed with an inner fire that made everything seem alive and the whirling of a heat wave on the horizon distorted his vision slightly.
The child sat just ahead of him, totally oblivious to his presence and relaxed in the warm embrace of the twin suns. Her braided hair flowed back away from her pale face revealing large, sparkling eyes to the desert below. The beauty that flowed her could only exist in the innocence of youth. Yet underneath the naivety and purity was a very intelligent child who knew much more than others her age.
Vash paused to look at the girl with admiration, she was so strong for being so young and she had a wondrous talent for reading other peoples' emotions. In a way she was exactly like Millie.
"What are you doing up here?" He put on his cheerful façade. Ashley instantly turned her bright eyes to look at him and smiled cheerfully.
"I just wanted to look at the desert."
"There's nothing much interesting about that, it's always the same."
"That's just it, no matter how the world changes the desert will always be the same...familiar." Her voice was almost a whisper and Vash regarded her with curiosity.
"I guess that's true." He admitted.
"I just wanted you to be happy." She continued and he looked at her again, catching sight of tears that shimmered in her eyes.
"I am happy."
"No your not." Ashley stated firmly.
"What makes you say that?"
"You don't want to leave, but you're doing it anyway."
"I don't mind."
"So you're denying that you love her?" Ashley turned her glassy eyes to the outlaw sitting beside her. "You are saying you don't have feelings for her?"
"What are you taking about?" Vash blushed slightly.
"Meryl, I'm talking about Meryl." The little girl sighed miserably and looked back out across the wasteland.
For a long time the two sat in silence and finally Vash broke the silence, he leaned forward to rest his head in his hands and sighed despondently. "I do." He muttered.
"Millie and I just wanted you to be happy Vash."
"I know, but sometimes no matter how much you wish for something to be true it doesn't happen. I'm sorry."
"It's not me you should be apologising to." The girl remarked and Vash was stunned by how sharp the child was.
"You're right, will you take care of her for me when I'm gone?"
"Of course, it's the least I can do for her. She saved my life after all." Ashley regained her smile and stood up, the breeze caressing her face and slipping between the strands of hair.
Walking back down to the house the two spoke about more normal things, both trying to forget their grief and continue acting as if nothing was wrong. It didn't take them long to get home and as they entered Millie and Knives looked up at them.
Vash was glad that his brother was walking around, it would mean that he didn't have to carry him and yet seeing how relaxed his brother seemed in the company of humans was comforting. 'Maybe when he is fully recovered I can come back to visit them.' He cheered up at that prospect.
"Is it time for us to go brother?" Knives murmured in his emotionless tone.
"In a little while Knives, I have to go say goodbye to Meryl." At that statement Millie gave a small sob, which was as painful as a physical blow, and Ashley ran over to comfort the tall insurance girl.
Vash felt incredibly guilty at what he was doing to the girls. He realised that all the time they had been together as a group they had become close friends. He just wished that he could tell them how much this was hurting him but as it was, he couldn't.
He would never leave his brother again, he had made a promise to take care of him and he was definitely going to. He could not be selfish and just follow his heart when his twin needed him for emotional and physical support.
He made his way up the stairs knowing that Meryl would be there without even needing to ask. A terrible feeling of guilt and despair flowed over him but he knew he couldn't leave without saying goodbye. He didn't want to deny himself a last few words with her and he couldn't just leave without saying anything...again.
Tapping lightly on the door he was greeted by the faint clicking sounds of the typewriter and sighed, Meryl was never in a good mood when she had reports to write. He pushed the door open slightly and peered around it to look into the well-lit room.
A window was opened wide and the lacy curtains fluttered inside the room as the breeze freshened the pretty little room. Meryl sat at the small desk that was just right of the window a pencil behind her ear and hair mussed from running her hands through it - most likely in irritation. He smiled at how cute she was when she was working and so lost in thought.
"Hi." He murmured sheepishly as he entered the room. She jumped out of her skin and whirled round, terror flashing in her eyes. He cursed himself from sneaking up on her and being so insensitive. Considering that she had only just gotten over her fears it had been a stupid thing to do.
"Damn Vash you shouldn't sneak up on people like that!" She exclaimed as she stood up and straightened her hair. He laughed as he realised that had been practically the same thing he had said to Ashley this morning.
"I'm sorry." He rubbed at the back of his head in embarrassment.
"You came to say goodbye didn't you." Meryl said as she took the pencil from behind her ear and placed it on the desk.
***Meryl's POV***
He looked at me with an unreadable expression; his once bright eyes that were filled with life, now dull with a deep emotion. I knew what he was going to say and I had already planned what I was going to tell him. Yes I was going to confess my undying love to him whether he wanted to hear it or not, how I was going to go about it I wasn't too sure.
I noticed also how tense he looked and the blonde hair that flopped over his face caused pale shadows on his skin. I drew in a deep breath hoping that sudden inspiration would hit me and I would be able to express my feelings correctly.
"Vash I..." my breath caught in my throat at seeing the tears in his eyes, I know I shouldn't have been shocked at seeing him cry but I was so confused and it just didn't seem like something he would cry about. 'Is he really going to miss me...us?' I thought but shook that from my mind.
Like an idiot I just stood there looking at him as he wept silently in front of me, I couldn't go to comfort him because if I did I might not be able to let him go. I calmed my flailing heart and opened my mouth to try again but was interrupted.
"Meryl I know you probably will want to follow me because of your job and everything but...just promise me that you wont." His voice was so quiet but I could hear him perfectly.
"I can't promise that Vash." I replied sadly, "If we are asked to chase after you then we have to do it, it's our job after all."
"But Meryl." He sounded desperate now, "Don't you care that your life will be at risk?"
"Vash...you still don't understand do you? My job is my life." I made sure to look at the ground when saying this my mind screaming at me to tell him now, it was the perfect time, 'you are my life' I wished I had said it out loud.
"Then maybe you should find something else more important."
"You don't have the right to tell me how to live my life!" I snapped 'I already have.' I answered mentally.
"Please Meryl." He seemed to be even more tired then before, he didn't want an argument with me.
"If it will make you happy then I'll quit my job." I told him and he looked up at me, his eyes wide in shock, he obviously had not expected that remark.
"You mean it?"
"Yes."
"But why?" He blinked and stepped closer but instinctively I stepped back.
"You really don't know?" I thought he might have some idea of my feelings - that I would do anything to make him happy - even quit my job.
"Know what?" Nope he had no idea, trust clueless Vash to be so blind.
"For a while now Vash...I...well I've known you for a long time...and I have seen everything you have had to endure...I have seen into your true personality. This is difficult for me to say so I think I'll just come straight out and say it...what I mean is that..." I paused mentally kicking myself 'he must think I'm such an idiot' I cleared my throat to try again.
"I'm still waiting." Vash reminded and I felt the anger flare up inside me, here I was trying to spill my heart out and all he could do was make rude comments.
"Will you just shut your mouth and listen to me you idiot!" I practically screamed and smiled at seeing him flinch. He looked so cute when he was scared.
"O-okay." He stammered.
Well here goes nothing, if this isn't the time to tell him there never would be and I let my gaze fall to the floor. My heart was pounding so loudly that I was sure he could hear it and a sickening writhing started in my stomach.
"Vash...I think...well actually I know...I'm in love with you." I wish I had heard his answer, but one glance into those stunned eyes was enough to tell me that I had been rejected. I dashed past him before he could stop me and locked myself in the room where Knives had been staying; yes I know that sounds pathetic but you have to understand. I knew that he was going to reject me, tell me that it was okay and I shouldn't be embarrassed of my feeling, because that was the kind of person he was. Even though I knew he would never be cruel I didn't want to hear his words of pity for me.
I knew that putting him in that position was probably just as awkward for him but I needed to tell him. Now that I had I would be able to move on with my life and possibly find someone else 'yeah right' I thought miserably, the most I could hope for was that I would still have a job at the end of the day.
I heard him leave a few moments later and the sound of the door closing behind him and his brother finally allowed the tears to flow freely. A feeling of deep shame at my actions swept over me and even worse was the regret of telling him and becoming another of his burdens. That thought almost killed me but I knew that I had to carry on; I still had Millie and Ashley to take care of after all.
***Vash's POV***
I can't believe I just heard her say that, I never ever believed I would hear those words from her. I had never suspected a thing - maybe guys are as dense as women say they are - and Ashley and Millie had known, they must have known something to want to set us up together.
I was so shocked that I didn't even notice that she wasn't even in the room anymore and that I was alone, staring into nothing. Then when I had finally recovered from the shock of her confession I realised that she must have taken my shocked silence as a rejection. 'It's just as well she did' I thought, 'if I had told her the truth it would have been harder for her to move on with her life when I leave.'
Sadly I walked down the stairs and into the living room where Knives was standing ready by the door, his head bowed slightly with impatience. Millie was standing in the kitchen looking for something in the cupboard and Ashley was sitting on the couch. She jumped up as she saw me enter and grabbed my hand tightly.
"You better write." She gave me one of her 'there's no choice in the matter' looks just like Meryl used and I nodded.
"Where will you be going?" I asked.
"Home." Millie replied as she walked over, she had two boxes of donuts in her arms and I felt the tears building in my eyes. I took the donuts gratefully and hugged them against me.
"Well I guess that's for the best." I felt Knives' icy gaze on me and sighed. Knowing that he didn't want to wait much longer.
"Goodbye then." I put on my best smile and headed for the door making sure not to look back.
I walked in a daze, hardly aware of Ashley and Millie yelling a final goodbye, or the bite of the sand on my skin. I even forgot that my brother was walking contentedly beside me, he was probably happy to get me away from them. The only thing that my mind could focus on was Meryl, everything else seemed unimportant and the look in her eyes at seeing my reaction to her confession kept replaying in my mind.
'Why did she have to tell me?' I wondered.
"Because she didn't want to be weighed down by the secret for the rest of her life." Knives answered and I shrugged.
"Even if that was true, why did she leave it to the last minute?"
"Human's are weak, she was scared to tell you her true feelings." Knives scoffed.
"No she isn't." I snapped and he grinned.
"So I hit a sensitive spot did I?" He laughed and for a split second I saw something like happiness glint in his eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I grinned but I could tell that Knives already knew my feelings for her. He seemed to know a lot about everything.
"Will you write to them?" Knives asked.
"No." I said simply. As cold as it may seem I knew that if I wrote, it would reopen painful wounds for both Meryl and me and she would never be able to move on. It would be better for both of us if we could just forget and move on.
"It's not like you to be so heartless and selfish brother." Knives looked at me curiously.
"It's for the best." I replied and he nodded and looked ahead.
My mind was blurred with grief and the only thing I could think about was the kiss that Meryl and I had shared. 'Why hadn't she mentioned it?' I wondered, 'maybe she didn't remember it, she had been half asleep' I hoped desperately that she didn't remember.
* * * Normal POV***
Standing on the outskirts of town a lone figure stood dressed in gold to match the desert and eyes fixed on the two approaching figures. The shoulders shook with silent laughter and stepping back the stranger waited for the right moment to strike the unsuspecting victims.
"I finally found them, now I can get my revenge." The voice swirled with the breeze and faded so that no one could ever hear it.
* * * * * *
Well there you go, its quite a short chapter and you are probably hating me for making Vash leave but don't worry there are more surprises in store - well maybe - so make sure you leave me a review and I'll try and get the next chapter up soon.
'Love and Peace' (=*.*=) (''')