By: Cmdr. Gabe E.
Note: This fanfiction occurs entirely in the X-Men movie-verse . Characters' unspoken thoughts are enclosed in .
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ROSEMEG = welcome back from Austria =D!!! I hope you had tons of fun =D! Ah, you're so lucky you got to travel =)! Anyway, thanks for dropping by! It's kewl to know that you're still loving the story so far =)!!! You also hit that last chapter's bullseye =D!!! Stryker is now somewhat split into three characters....but as to who/what he'll end up as in the end, will continue to remain a mystery ;). As for Logan, Yuriko and Stryker, I guess this chapter will give you a hint as to who she'll run off with at the end of the night. Thanks again for the review =D!
BEATLE! = LOL!!! I really wish I could erase the Yuriko/Stryker thing, but it now has a mind of its own and is now an essential part of the plot (and of Logan and Yuriko's past). Yuriko and Stryker's pairing seems quite "disturbing" to me too (I can't even believe I wrote it into the story), but I guess it'll make more sense a few chapters from now =)! Heheh...don't worry...the current Y/S session will end soon ;)!
SKETTY24 = I hope you're enjoying your holiday =D!!! Don't worry...the story will be here when you get back ;)!!! Thanks for the review =D!!!
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Chapter 51: I cannot run away
Yuriko's eyes opened wide and she felt her chest tightened when Stryker's words sank into her mind. He could stay? He could stay forever and never leave? She could wake up the day after tomorrow and still see him there? She gently pulled away from him and looked deeply into his eyes. She could see it in his face...he didn't want to leave either.
"What do you mean?" She asked with a hint of hope in her voice.
"I can stay this way forever, Yuriko. I don't have to go back to the man I used to be." He said as he looked back into her eyes. He knew that Yuriko also wanted his current self to stay. He knew it from the moment she told him that she would miss him. He knew it when he felt her tears trickling on his shirt. "Just imagine, Yuriko...I won't have to leave anymore. I won't have to hurt any mutant anymore. I will finally be able to free myself from my own past." He could feel his own voice shaking as he talked to her. He was yet to reveal the price for this freedom, and he feared it.
Quick breaths escaped from Yuriko's lips as she listened to his words. Of course she wanted to him to stay. He had finally come back after fourteen years of hiding behind his own shadow and she didn't want to let him go...not now when he was finally with her again...not ever. And yet, she couldn't understand why there was fear in his eyes. She couldn't understand why he was looking at her as if the puzzle was not yet complete.
"How?" She whispered. "You said there is a way. What is it?" She stepped closer to him and placed her hands on his chest. "Tell me." She said as she looked into his eyes.
Stryker breathed in and looked away, his eyes wandering at the floor. He looked like he was trying to hold back his own tears. "At...at first I didn't want to tell you about this." He said softly. "...because I didn't want to affect your decision about your past. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to force it upon you. I didn't want to make it into another burden that you had to carry...another reason for you to question your own choice. I wanted you to make up your own mind without me telling you what to do."
Then he looked at her, his eyes filled with empty hope. "I also didn't tell you because I thought you would never care whether I stay or leave. I also thought that it wouldn't matter because I thought I had no reason to stay this way, but now it does. It does matter, Yuriko." His hands shot forward and he held her firmly by her upper arms. "Because I do want to remain like this. I'd do anything to stay like this forever."
Yuriko's eyes widened as she looked back at him. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest as her wide eyes bore deeply into his. His words hit her hard, and his words also made her realize the price that she had to pay for his freedom. Yes, she had to let go of her past, in order for him to let go of his. That was the price, and now she could feel her own doubts and her own fears drowning her as she looked at him. Why did she have to find out about this now? Who now, when she was only one night's sleep away from the past that she had longed for? Why did she have to come face to face with another factor that will make her doubt the decision that she had made?
"When I talked with the professor today, he told me that he can completely erase all of my past's memories. Then the only memories I will have are those of the past two days...beginning from the moment when you found me by the lake...that moment when I opened my eyes and saw you looking down at me. I want you to be the first thing that I remember in this life." He said as he looked into her eyes, begging for her to listen to his plea. He could feel himself uncontrollably gripping her arms harder.
Yuriko could feel her tears wanting to break out of her eyes again. She slightly shook her head from side to side as she listened to his pleading words, as she looked at his begging eyes. He was practically begging for her to let him go of his past. But she didn't want to listen anymore. She didn't even know what to do anymore.
"But the professor can only erase my memories now, while I still haven't regained my past. He can only wipe them from my mind while those memories are still in the recessive part of my brain. But...but you know what that means, don't you? If he erases all of my past memories then...then you..." He could feel his fingers wrapping around her arms tighter as his eyes stared intensely into hers. "...you...you won't be able to remember all of your past...never again". "But you'll have me." He whispered.
Yuriko wanted to free herself from his grip. She wanted to pull away from him and never see him again until tomorrow, when they were finally in the procedure. She didn't want to stare into his blue eyes and hear another word from his lips and feel his touch again. She wanted to escape from him. Why? Was it because deep inside, she really would give up her past so that he could stay the way he was?
She shook her head from side to side as tears started to run down her smooth, tanned cheeks. "No, please, William. Don't do this to me. Please don't." She begged, in between her gasps. She could barely move her body as he gripped her arms.
"Think about it, Yuriko. You wanted me to stay and now I can. I know you want me to stay. I know you do." He said firmly, trying to hold back his own tears. He could see the pain in her eyes as she cried in front of him. He knew his words were hurting her, tugging at her heart, tearing it into two pieces, but it was the only for him to reach out to her...to hear his side of the story...his side of the bargain.
"Then we could run away." He whispered. And those words hit Yuriko hard. "We could just forget our own pasts and live new lives. We could get out of here and live the lives that we want to live. You don't even have to be a mutant anymore, Yuriko. You can finally live your life as a normal human being. Think about it. You can just forget about your mutant powers and you'll never have to unsheathe your claws again. You don't have to fight anymore. You don't have to spill someone's blood for the rest of your life. We can just wake up everyday, eat breakfast, read the morning paper, and walk the dog. Then every night we could ask each other how our days went." He said, forcing a faint smile upon his face. "I know you want that, Yuriko. I know you do. I know it's what you've always wanted...escape. You want to escape."
Yuriko couldn't hold back her tears and her sobs as his words entered her ears. She would do anything to deafen herself at the moment...to block out the words that he had spoken. She didn't want to hear him anymore. She didn't want to hear the truth behind his words and see the sincerity in his eyes. And he did speak the truth. She did want to live such a life. She wanted to escape her past and live life anew...live the life that she knew she deserved after fourteen years of pain.
"Please, stop." She cried as she tried to get away from his grip. But no matter how much she tried...no matter how much she forced herself to move away, she couldn't. Perhaps it was because she did want to give in to him and embrace the future that he had told her.
"And I'll stay by your side." He said firmly. "I'll live by your side for the rest of my days and I promise that I'll make you happy. I'll give you the freedom and the life and the happiness that Logan could never give you. I'll make you happy, Yuriko."
"Why are you telling me all this, William?!" She cried out, her voice filling the kitchen. Her tears continued to stream down her cheeks and her chin like fading waterfalls. "You barely even know me, and now you speak as if you're willing to give your life to me!" She shouted. She reached out and clutched the chest of his shirt. "You're living in an illusion, William! You're just saying all this because you want to escape from your own past! You don't need me! You're just trying to save yourself." She shouted as she continued to clutch on his shirt. "You don't even know who I am." She said softly.
Stryker looked deeply into her eyes, then he moved his hands away from her arms and he gently cupped her cheeks. "But I have the rest of my life to find out who you really are."
Yuriko cried out and she pulled away from him. She had to get away from him. When she heard him speak those words, there was a split-second when she almost said yes to his picture perfect future. She almost became a part of his picture perfect painting.
"Please stop!!!" She begged again. "I don't want to hear any more of this!!!" She shouted. She took another step away from him. "William, please. Don't give me a reason to be angry at myself for choosing the path that I had chosen."
He took a step towards her and tried to reach out for her. "How about me? How about my future? My choices?! Do you think I want to go back to the way I was? You think I want to turn back into 'that' man and start hurting everyone again?! You think that's going to make me happy?! Huh? Huh?!" He shouted.
She took another step away from him and felt her back against the kitchen counter. "You talk as if I have the power to choose and have whatever I want! You talk as if all of my choices are on my favor! Well, you know what? My life isn't perfect either!" She shouted at him. "I also have to pay the price to have the things that I want! I also have to give up something in order to earn something in return! I also have to lose what I want in order to have what I need! So don't tell me that my world and my choices only revolve around me alone! You have no right to tell me that! You have no right!" She said as she pointed at him.
Then she clenched her hands into tight fists as she stared back into his eyes. "And you, William...you are someone that I want...I do want you...I do. But my past...it is something that I need." She said as she looked back into his sad, blue eyes. "I need my past and I won't let anyone and anything stand in my way. Not even you." She wanted to make her point. She wanted to tell him that nothing would change her mind.
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