Disclaimer: NO...I don't own Trigun.
Hello again...okay first of all I apologise for the delay, but after the cliff hanger I left I really had no idea where to go from there, its my own fault for leaving such a cliffy. The main problem I had was trying to find a solution, which would make everyone happy... (I think I failed on that) So once again I'll thank my lovely reviewers.
Snapdragon76: *hugs and hands more tissues* aww don't worry things will get better I promise...hopefully. Thanks for the review!
Pammi: ...O.O are you a mind reader? Your review was scary, maybe we thought alike cos we were both hyper. Yay! Anyway you'll have to read on to find out what I mean. Thanks for your review and sorry for the cliffy.
Blu and TK: Here's your update, sorry it wasn't out sooner, and I didn't mean to make you mad, well actually I knew people would kill me for that but if I kept writing the end part would have sucked big time...so plz forgive me *puppy eyes* thanks for your review!
Nekokito - *wipes away a tear*I'm so glad you are enjoying this, it makes me really happy when I get sweet reviews like yours. Thanks sooo much and here is your update.
Silverado6000 - wow a long review so you'll get a long reply...here goes: okay after seeing you mention about the few mistakes I read through and whoa did I ever, I hate the "to" and "too" mistakes *hits head against a brick wall* ahh stupid me. I'm also glad you liked my character, I tried to make her a little more interesting, at first I was gonna make Violet's character male but then I thought 'what the hell lets make the evil person female' so the result was Violet. I'm glad you liked my POV's I tried hard on them, I have to admit I found the last chapter difficult to write. I haven't written many action scenes before so it was my first proper one. I'm so glad you liked the end of my chapter, I thought some people might notice the drop in quality but at least I know someone liked it ^.^ Okay now onto the more serious part of your review, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the next chapter and what I should do with the situation with Meryl. I can see exactly where you are coming from by making it a tragedy and it would give more depth. Finally I decided what to do. I hope you will like what I decided to do in this chapter and I will write an alternative ending just for you seeing as you have been reviewing my fic so well. I'll email it to you or something as soon as it is done. Thanks so much for your wonderful review and I hope you enjoy this next chappie...hope I haven't said that to you already ^-^'
Happyjack - Okay another long review, so expect a long answer. Glad you liked the hug...I'm always like that when I'm hyper, just ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I'm crazy...right anyway...I see where you are coming from with the death thing, and to be honest that never crossed my mind, the reasoning for me giving Violet a sword was because everyone in Trigun seems to have a gun so I thought I would be different. I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Meryl's character, I have tried to keep her as the strong person she is in the anime, I can just visualize her getting through anything that life throws at her, well that's my opinion anyway, and that is what I wanted to show in this fic. YES...yes! you are so right about Vash getting angry so I might start off this chapter with Vash loosing it. Well anyway here is your update and I hope you like what I decided to do and thanks for your review.
Rainy-days13 - ahh I'm evil oh no!!! o wait...I killed Meryl. I guess that does qualify me as evil. Woo hoo! Anyway thanks for your review...I think ^-^' and I hope you like this chapter better.
Chibi Chibi - Well I promise that I won't make you cry again...do I? Yes I won't make you cry again, but just in case here are some tissues ^-^ hope you like this chapter and thanks for your review.
Darkraven - Wow I'm making so many people cry *kicks self* here is another tissue and you'll have to read on to find out what happens. No sneak previews for you, *sticks out tongue* nerr!
Xim_chan - aww your review was very sweet *hugs* thank you and here is the chapter you have been waiting for.
Neptune Butterfly - Ahh *hides from Kuroneko-sama* plzdonthurtme! Oh wait you're not after me, thank goodness for that ^-^. Ahh sounds like you're having computer problems too, I always have problems with mine, but lately it has been good *pets computer* good computer good! @.@ Ahh don't cry! I promise things will get better!! Thankies for your review!
Dustdragon - *checks list above* nope you never reviewed before! Let's hope your suspicions are right then huh dusty! Thanks for your review.
Wow that took a while but it was worth it, okay now on to the chapter, you may have to bear with me on this one cos I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do @.@ here goes...
Chapter 12 - Breathe
***Vash's POV***
I knelt over her, my body trembling with grief...with rage. I tried to calm my mind, which was now racing at such a speed I thought that I might die as well. Drawing in a shaky breath I glared up at the woman who had taken Meryl from me! That bitch had just jumped to conclusions, killed the one most beautiful, innocent and sweetest person I had ever met in my life - even more so than Rem! Would it be wrong now to take revenge? Would it be wrong to kill her? And even if it was, did I really care?
Laying my raven-haired angel on the ground I stood, my knees felt strangely weak and my hands shook so much I didn't think I would be able to hold my gun. A few seconds later I felt the cool, heavy weapon in my hand and raised it up to aim for the woman who had killed Meryl! She was really dead! I would never hear her voice again, shouting at me for being an idiot or telling me she loved me...never feel her sweet punches as they struck...never see those small smiles that she sometimes showed when she thought no one noticed. But I noticed them, and I would never forget them.
I steadied my hand and looked the woman straight in the eye, they were dull as if belonging to someone who was already dead and I increased the pressure on the trigger. An image of Rem flashed before my eyes but I ignored her, for the first time in my life I didn't care! Meryl...Meryl was gone.
***Normal POV***
Through her tears Millie could see Vash, his aim true and steady. She knew she should stop him but couldn't bring herself to do it; instead she rushed to Knives' side and helped him stand. Surprisingly he didn't even attempt to shake her off and she slipped her arms tighter around him in a gentle hug.
He wiped away the blood from where the sword had caught him and looked up at Millie with intense blue eyes. In them she saw something that she had never seen before, a sense of guilt and fear whirled inside of them and she tightened her grip in attempt to comfort him.
"You...you have to stop him." He murmured.
"Wha-what?" She looked at him with a confused look on her face.
"If he kills her...he will never forgive himself." He winced slightly. Millie could not believe what she was hearing; Knives actually cared about his brother!
"Okay, but you stay here and rest Mr. Knives." She patted his shoulder gently and approached Vash who was standing frozen in one spot. She could see the tears that streamed down his face and his trembling body, 'he really did love her' she realised sadly and continued her slow path towards him.
Reaching out a hand to him she wondered if he even knew she was even there beside him, what if she startled him and he pressed the trigger? She paused and called to him softly, hoping that he would realise who she was, the cold look in his eyes was so strange and slightly unnerving but she knew it was the same Vash inside.
"Mr. Vash..." She called out gently, "Come on now, you can't kill her, it was a mistake."
"A mistake that killed Meryl!" He yelled, a horrific rage building in his eyes.
"Yes, but can't you see how sorry she is, and you heard Meryl...she will always be with you..." She sniffed back tears and forced a sad smile.
"It's not the same! She killed her, she killed Meryl." He dropped his head as the sobs bubbled up in his throat but kept his hand steady.
"Mr. Vash, no good can come of this. Meryl wouldn't want this." She took another small step forwards and at that moment Vash crumbled to his knees, the sobs racking his body.
Millie dived forwards and wrapped her arms around his shoulders to try and help ease the pain that was radiating from him like heat from the suns.
"I never got to tell her..." He whispered and she nodded, she knew what he meant and she wished that Meryl had stayed conscious just long enough to hear the confession she knew the short girl had wanted to hear.
"It's okay, I'm sure she knew." She comforted.
"No, I was so horrible to her! Now I can't say how sorry I am." He shuddered.
Ashley who was watching the scene in horror noticed the lilac haired woman and carefully approached her. The woman looked down at the child and their eyes locked, there was no need for words between them but Ashley knew she had to ask, if not for Vash's sake for Meryl's.
"Is there nothing you can do to help her?"
The question hung in the air and Violet's pale face travelled back to where the poor woman lay. Distant memories of this happening before flooded into her mind and brought tears to her eyes and she nodded slightly.
"There may be something, but there will be circumstances that will affect her."
"And what are they?"
"When Knives came and destroyed my second family my little brother was injured and dying. I used my energy to heal him, but the energy used is from the plant side, now my brother ages slower and he can use telepathy. The problem is that by using my energy to heal I become weak and if I heal the girl who is already in the clutches of death, I will most likely die."
"So you are saying that if you heal Meryl she will become a plant as well?!" Ashley half yelled.
"Yes, and because I will have to use so much energy to bring her back she will be more plant than human. I'm not sure whether she would want to be brought back if that was the case."
"You must bring her back!" Ashley demanded and Violet nodded.
Violet was aware of Knives' glare and how it burned into her as she approached the lifeless girl who lay on the sand just a few meters away. Gently she lifted Meryl up so her head and shoulders rested in her lap and cradled her with a gossamer touch. With a murmur of apologies to the unknowing woman before her she spread one palm over Meryl's silent heart and placed the other palm on her own beating one.
She raised her head to glance around her as if knowing she would never see this blistering hot planet again. She caught Knives' glare and their eyes locked, refusing to let go. In them she could see an unspoken apology and she knew the man she was looking at was not the same fiend of all those years ago. Finally her vengeful thoughts were quenched and she broke their gaze to look upon the broken man who knelt in the sand. She had hurt him so badly and if it meant she would have to die to make him happy she did not mind. It was the least she could do, her powers would finally come in use for something other than seeking revenge.
Closing her eyes she concentrated on the task ahead and heard a faint gasp from the child watching. Ashley's eyes widened in shock and stepped back in fear; the lilac haired woman seemed to be glowing with a deep inner light that resonated from her like moonbeams.
Vash glanced up from where he was kneeling in the sand - Millie's arms still around him in a gentle embrace - and spotted the strange light from where Meryl was lying. He tensed in anger and broke away from Millie who blinked in confusion.
"Mr. Vash..." She started until she spotted the light that was flowing from the strange woman and Meryl.
***Knives's POV***
From where I was I could see clearly what was happening. I knew now that I had been right to choose Violet to be one of my slaves, she was strong...maybe a little too strong, but she was proof of my good judgement.
Leaning against the car I watched the girl lean over Vash's woman and narrowed my eyes, I doubted that she could help her but it still interested me on how she planned to heal the spider. So when the plant energy started to glow inside of her, I must say that I was surprised. She could control her energy extremely well for such an annoying half-breed. Even more annoying was that it was working and I could already feel the life force of Vash's woman start to rise again.
Suddenly Vash noticed what was going on, or rather he didn't know at all what that Violet woman was doing.
"Vash!" I yelled and he turned to look at me, he looked absolutely pitiful with his eyes full of tears. I can't believe he is related to me! "Don't go near them, that woman is trying to revive her!" I practically screamed at him and smirked at seeing him flinch.
Suddenly Violet let out a strangled cry and her head drooped forwards slightly, her eyes fading quickly as the glow of energy began to leave her. I knew she didn't have long left to live at this rate and diverted my gaze towards more interesting things, Millie for example.
She was the strangest human I had ever met, naïve and yet wise at the same time. She confused me totally, but I don't know why. She stood watching Vash who was standing like a wide-eyed statue, her usually vibrant blue eyes wobbling behind swirling pools of tears. I had the strangest urge to go and comfort her, say something to bring that smile back to her face.
It was another cry of pain that snapped me from my trance and I turned my angle of gaze to where the Violet woman was.
***Normal POV***
Violet snatched her hand away from the girl before her and stumbled back, her breath was harsh and painful. Struggling to keep her eyes open she fell on the sand with a loud thud and glanced up at the sky. She had never seen such a beautiful, blue sky before, or maybe it was because she had never taken the time to look. She had always believed that the planet they lived on was an awful place, but now in the clutches of death she could finally see the beauty. Sighing she forced herself up on her elbows and dragged her eyes open, a small smile playing on her lips at seeing Vash leaning over the woman he loved. She hoped her energy had been enough and finally let herself fall into unconsciousness.
Vash pulled Meryl up into his arms and cradled her gently still not daring to hope in case Knives had been mistaken. It was only when he saw the slight rise of her chest as she drew in a small breath that he felt his heart come alive again. A tear trembled down his face and landed on her forehead, which he quickly wiped away before pulling her further into his arms and lifting her up.
"Is she alright?" Ashley asked as she ran over to his side and glanced up at them with large eyes. Vash nodded and looked over his shoulder to Millie who was kneeling beside Violet.
"Millie..." Vash started but was interrupted by his brother.
"Millie, you drive Vash and the other two home, I will care for the girl." His tone was surprisingly gentle and gained strange looks from everyone.
The tall girl nodded slightly and walked past him to get into the drivers seat. Ashley jumped into the passenger seat beside her so that Vash and Meryl could sit in the back together.
Vash was careful to make sure that Meryl was comfortable before checking her wound that was now almost completely healed. He ran his fingers through her raven hair and buried his face into her neck. He was still concerned that she might die even after having the energy transported into her, he wasn't even sure whether Meryl would want to live as a plant...would she hate him for bringing her back?
More tears built up in his eyes and he held her tighter against him, her soft breath tickling his ear. He drew in a deep breath as he felt her move slightly in his arms and nuzzled his face against her neck. "I love you..." he whispered gently, hoping that she would be able to hear him.
Millie glanced sideways to where Ashley had fallen asleep, curled up on her side like a kitten. Then she angled her head back to see Vash and Meryl curled up together, the short girl snuggled against his chest from her place on his lap. Vash's face was hidden against her neck but the way his shoulders trembled slightly gave away the sobs he was trying to hold back.
She turned back to face the desert ahead and hoped they would get back soon, she also hoped that Knives would come back to them, she didn't know what it was, but for some reason she wanted him to be with her. She wondered whether these feeling she felt for him might be something deeper than just friendship...she hoped not.
* * * * * *
Vash watched over Meryl as the town doctor leaned over to examine the unconscious girl. She straightened and glanced over at the nervous looking man.
"She hasn't had much luck lately has she." She smiled gently and pulled the blankets up around her shoulders. "She seems to be fine, she just needs rest." She glanced at him severely before turning and leaving the room.
Letting out his held breath Vash went to sit beside the bed and reached over to stroke the hair away from Meryl's eyes. Her face was pale and her breathing was shallow but even, and for him that was enough. He was so engrossed in looking at her that he didn't even notice Ashley creeping into the room until she tapped him on the shoulder. He looked at her and forced a smile onto his face, she ducked her head in embarrassment.
"Vash..." She trailed off.
"What's up?"
"She will get better, wont she?" Her voice was desperate.
"Of course, Meryl is strong." He said but his voice quaked in fear. He had no idea what he would do if Meryl didn't survive this ordeal...would he be able to live without her?
Ashley clambered up into his lap and peered at Meryl's sleeping form before snuggling back against Vash's chest. "Yes she is strong." She nodded confidently and he found himself strengthened by her remark.
"Is Millie okay?" He asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yes, she seems to be, I think she is worried about Knives though."
"Yeah...maybe he has changed."
"I don't think you need to worry about him hurting anyone, he seems quite nice to me." Ashley told him. "I think Millie is more concerned about whether he is coming back or not."
"What do you mean by that?" Vash raised an eyebrow curiously.
"Oh...nothing." Ashley laughed nervously and slipped away from him before heading for the door. "I'm hungry so I'll see you later." She gave him a small wave before darting out of the door.
Vash turned his gaze back to the woman in front of him and reached out to clasp her hand in his own, lacing his fingers with hers. He hoped with all his heart that she would forgive him for being so cruel, considering he hated to hurt people he had done a pretty good job of hurting her without even trying.
He leaned forwards to rest his head on the side of the bed and closed his eyes, he could not believe that Meryl had died trying to save him...or at least almost died. Did she really love him that much to give up everything just to keep him alive? A few more tears slithered down his face and landed on the bed before he finally fell asleep, his hand still entwined with Meryl's smaller one.
***Violet's POV***
I was too weak to even move let alone speak so I couldn't tell Knives to just leave me alone, he must have known that I didn't want him around though as he made sure not to do or say anything to me. For a long time he just sat beside me as if contemplating what to do next, I wondered why he had even decided to stay behind in the first place; surely he would have preferred to leave me here to die.
I let my head fall to the side so I could get a better view of him; he was sitting slumped up against a rock with his head lowered against his chest. For a while I thought that maybe he had fallen asleep or fainted due to the heat but suddenly his head snapped up and his eyes caught mine.
"So..." He began, "I'm waiting to hear an explanation."
'An explanation of what?' I thought, 'he must know that I can hardly speak.' I frowned and coughed violently.
"Why did you decide to show up after all this time?" He scowled and I shook my head slowly.
"I...had to...wait." I tried to clear my throat and speak again when he stood up and walked over to me.
"Don't get me wrong, the only reason I am helping you is because you made my brother happy, otherwise I would have finished you off."
"I don't...doubt it." I forced a smile and winced.
"I'm going to take you home." He informed me before lifting me up into his arms as easy as if he was lifting a doll.
My eyes closed but I didn't want to fall asleep, I was afraid that if I did I would die in the arms of the man I had hated for so long. I never would have thought that Knives was capable of caring and even if it wasn't out of affection for me it was out of affection for his brother.
"How...do..."
"You live with that brother or yours, don't you?" Knives interrupted and I nodded lightly. "Well, I'm taking you to him. He can care for you."
"I'm...dying." I forced my eyes open and met the scorn and disgust on my face.
"Giving up so easily?" He snapped.
I didn't answer him, instead I let him carry me until my eyes grew heavier and heavier, urging me into sleep.
***Normal POV***
Meryl opened her eyes very slowly, they felt like stone and the only sight that greeted her was a giant white blur. She tried to move but found that the rest of her body felt like rock so simply waited for her vision to clear. She felt so strange, like she was floating but still being kept down by gravity and her head span so violently that she thought she was going to be sick.
She tried to remember what had happened to her but couldn't, every time she found the memory it slipped away from her grasp and teased her until she grew angry. She had no idea where she was or what had happened to her since being asleep.
She tried to speak but her throat felt thick and unusable and left her lying in the silence of the blurred room. She felt like she should be dead.
It was only when she felt something move against her hand that she knew she was still alive. She tried to move her own hand and managed to wiggle her fingertips very slightly before pain shot up her arm and causing a gasp to bubble and catch in her throat.
Meryl lay completely still until she began to get the feeling back into her limbs once more and her double vision melded into one. She drew in a breath and let her head roll to the side. Her heart stopped.
She wondered whether maybe she was lying in a dream, for there next to her was Vash, his head rested against the bed and his face turned towards her - completely relaxed in sleep. She felt a smile twitch at her lips and lifted a hand to stroke the golden stands of hair away from his eyes.
'He left with his brother, but now he's here with me...' she couldn't think why he would suddenly return to her, maybe he was reconsidering her confession. Maybe he had decided that maybe he could fall in love with her, or maybe he had returned because he pitied her. She was so confused but it didn't stop her from enjoying the moment.
Ignoring the ache in her arm she continued to stroke her fingers through his unruly mop of golden hair. It was softer than she thought possible and she felt tears gathering in her eyes. It was only when she felt him shift under her gossamer touch that she snatched her hand away and swore as the pain returned to her muscles.
He sat up and his eyes widened at seeing a pair of violet eyes looking back at him. Then he looked down at their linked hands and blushed violently before untangling his fingers from hers and pulling away.
'So that's why I found it so hard to move my other hand' she thought happily and continued to look at him.
"So you're awake." He laughed nervously.
"Why are you back...what happened to me?" She finally managed to find her voice.
"What...you don't remember?" She noticed that he grew even more nervous and her heart shuddered in growing suspense.
"N-no...what happened?" Her tone was bordering on fear.
"Hey it doesn't matter right now, just get some rest okay." He smiled softly and stood up.
"No, you tell me now!" She yelled and he tried to quieten her.
"Fine...but don't hurt me when you find out okay."
"Idiot." She breathed.
"Well, uhh...you kind of got hurt...well actually...you died." He gave her a stupid grin, which faltered at the sight of her terror-stricken face.
"I...I remember." The memory, which had up till now evaded her now finally settled in her grasp and she remembered everything. She tried to sit up but was rewarded with striking pain in her body and was forced to remain still.
"I'm sorry." Vash whispered.
"So why am I still alive?" She choked, her voice barely audible.
"The woman who hurt you, she was a plant...she used her energy to cure you."
"And where is she now?"
"With my brother." He leaned closer and lifter her small hand into his own once more. "Meryl..."
She swallowed nervously and forced herself to meet his gaze, she found no comfort in them - only a deep grief - and her heart beat cold.
"The energy she used to revive you, well...you are no longer...you are more plant than you are human."
"Like...you." Meryl whispered and clung to his hand as if he would slip away from her.
"Yes, please forgive me." He was crying now but desperately trying to hide it from her.
"I should have known you wouldn't have let me die without a fight." She forced a smile even though on the inside she felt confused and like a total stranger. She no longer knew herself; she had woken up to find that she wasn't even the same species anymore.
"Well actually it was Ashley's idea." Vash admitted.
"Oh." Meryl found herself slightly disappointed that it hadn't been him fighting to save her.
"Meryl..."
"Yes."
"I need to tell you something, because if I don't then I will regret it for the rest of my life." Their eyes met again.
"Okay, I'm listening." She nodded slightly and squeezed his hand.
"I tired to tell you when you were hurt...but you had already fallen unconscious." He drew in a deep breath and tried to stay calm, he had never said this to anyone before, and he had never realised how hard these words were to say. 'Breathe' he reminded himself and drew closer to her.
"I love you." There he had finally said it.
She stared silently at him, her eyes clouded over and tears building inside of them. She shook her head slowly and tugged her hand out of his grip.
"You are only saying that because you feel guilty, and now that I have turned into this plant thing you feel like you have a responsibility to look after me." Her eyes burned in rage but also with a deep anguish.
"No you have it all wrong." His voice was desperate now and he reached out for her hand again. "I promise Meryl, I have felt this way about you for ages, I was just scared and...and I knew I would be leaving and I didn't want to hurt you. But I failed and you got hurt badly and I was so selfish...can you ever forgive me?" His eyes were whirling pools of tears now and he seemed to look deep down into her soul for the answers.
"I don't know if I can believe you." She murmured softly.
"Then how can I prove it? I'll do anything, just say the word and it's yours." He was begging with her and she shrugged slightly.
"I don't want anything." She replied and closed her eyes slowly.
* * * * * *
Knives finally found the small house where Violet and her brother had been staying in. He had thought that maybe he had been mistaken and he had gone in the wrong direction, but once again he had been right.
She was dying and he knew that all too well, but he would not let her die alone with people she didn't even know. Maybe it was because he felt he had to make up for what had happened in the past or maybe it was because he actually wanted to...either way he didn't care.
She shifted slightly in his grip and her eyes opened, it scared him to see how much death lingered inside of them.
"We're almost there." He told her sharply and increased his step...she didn't have long left.
The small house they were approaching seemed to be nothing more than a tatty little building but Knives knew it had to be the right one, and walking quicker still, he made his way up to the small house.
"Hey! Is anyone in there?" He yelled as he pushed the door open and peered into the one-roomed house.
"Who's there?" Someone called out from inside.
"I brought back your sister, she is dying." Knives informed coldly and laid her down on the ground.
A boy maybe a few years younger than Violet scampered over to her and Knives stood for a moment, watching him cry over her. The girl was too far gone to be helped, Knives knew that better than anyone but he remained until the very end.
* * * * * *
Umm yeah...no comment...if it is any excuse I have been preparing for exams for a few weeks so my creativity isn't what it used to be...
I'll let you make up your own minds about this chapter.
So please review for me.
'Love and Peace'
Hello again...okay first of all I apologise for the delay, but after the cliff hanger I left I really had no idea where to go from there, its my own fault for leaving such a cliffy. The main problem I had was trying to find a solution, which would make everyone happy... (I think I failed on that) So once again I'll thank my lovely reviewers.
Snapdragon76: *hugs and hands more tissues* aww don't worry things will get better I promise...hopefully. Thanks for the review!
Pammi: ...O.O are you a mind reader? Your review was scary, maybe we thought alike cos we were both hyper. Yay! Anyway you'll have to read on to find out what I mean. Thanks for your review and sorry for the cliffy.
Blu and TK: Here's your update, sorry it wasn't out sooner, and I didn't mean to make you mad, well actually I knew people would kill me for that but if I kept writing the end part would have sucked big time...so plz forgive me *puppy eyes* thanks for your review!
Nekokito - *wipes away a tear*I'm so glad you are enjoying this, it makes me really happy when I get sweet reviews like yours. Thanks sooo much and here is your update.
Silverado6000 - wow a long review so you'll get a long reply...here goes: okay after seeing you mention about the few mistakes I read through and whoa did I ever, I hate the "to" and "too" mistakes *hits head against a brick wall* ahh stupid me. I'm also glad you liked my character, I tried to make her a little more interesting, at first I was gonna make Violet's character male but then I thought 'what the hell lets make the evil person female' so the result was Violet. I'm glad you liked my POV's I tried hard on them, I have to admit I found the last chapter difficult to write. I haven't written many action scenes before so it was my first proper one. I'm so glad you liked the end of my chapter, I thought some people might notice the drop in quality but at least I know someone liked it ^.^ Okay now onto the more serious part of your review, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the next chapter and what I should do with the situation with Meryl. I can see exactly where you are coming from by making it a tragedy and it would give more depth. Finally I decided what to do. I hope you will like what I decided to do in this chapter and I will write an alternative ending just for you seeing as you have been reviewing my fic so well. I'll email it to you or something as soon as it is done. Thanks so much for your wonderful review and I hope you enjoy this next chappie...hope I haven't said that to you already ^-^'
Happyjack - Okay another long review, so expect a long answer. Glad you liked the hug...I'm always like that when I'm hyper, just ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I'm crazy...right anyway...I see where you are coming from with the death thing, and to be honest that never crossed my mind, the reasoning for me giving Violet a sword was because everyone in Trigun seems to have a gun so I thought I would be different. I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Meryl's character, I have tried to keep her as the strong person she is in the anime, I can just visualize her getting through anything that life throws at her, well that's my opinion anyway, and that is what I wanted to show in this fic. YES...yes! you are so right about Vash getting angry so I might start off this chapter with Vash loosing it. Well anyway here is your update and I hope you like what I decided to do and thanks for your review.
Rainy-days13 - ahh I'm evil oh no!!! o wait...I killed Meryl. I guess that does qualify me as evil. Woo hoo! Anyway thanks for your review...I think ^-^' and I hope you like this chapter better.
Chibi Chibi - Well I promise that I won't make you cry again...do I? Yes I won't make you cry again, but just in case here are some tissues ^-^ hope you like this chapter and thanks for your review.
Darkraven - Wow I'm making so many people cry *kicks self* here is another tissue and you'll have to read on to find out what happens. No sneak previews for you, *sticks out tongue* nerr!
Xim_chan - aww your review was very sweet *hugs* thank you and here is the chapter you have been waiting for.
Neptune Butterfly - Ahh *hides from Kuroneko-sama* plzdonthurtme! Oh wait you're not after me, thank goodness for that ^-^. Ahh sounds like you're having computer problems too, I always have problems with mine, but lately it has been good *pets computer* good computer good! @.@ Ahh don't cry! I promise things will get better!! Thankies for your review!
Dustdragon - *checks list above* nope you never reviewed before! Let's hope your suspicions are right then huh dusty! Thanks for your review.
Wow that took a while but it was worth it, okay now on to the chapter, you may have to bear with me on this one cos I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do @.@ here goes...
Chapter 12 - Breathe
***Vash's POV***
I knelt over her, my body trembling with grief...with rage. I tried to calm my mind, which was now racing at such a speed I thought that I might die as well. Drawing in a shaky breath I glared up at the woman who had taken Meryl from me! That bitch had just jumped to conclusions, killed the one most beautiful, innocent and sweetest person I had ever met in my life - even more so than Rem! Would it be wrong now to take revenge? Would it be wrong to kill her? And even if it was, did I really care?
Laying my raven-haired angel on the ground I stood, my knees felt strangely weak and my hands shook so much I didn't think I would be able to hold my gun. A few seconds later I felt the cool, heavy weapon in my hand and raised it up to aim for the woman who had killed Meryl! She was really dead! I would never hear her voice again, shouting at me for being an idiot or telling me she loved me...never feel her sweet punches as they struck...never see those small smiles that she sometimes showed when she thought no one noticed. But I noticed them, and I would never forget them.
I steadied my hand and looked the woman straight in the eye, they were dull as if belonging to someone who was already dead and I increased the pressure on the trigger. An image of Rem flashed before my eyes but I ignored her, for the first time in my life I didn't care! Meryl...Meryl was gone.
***Normal POV***
Through her tears Millie could see Vash, his aim true and steady. She knew she should stop him but couldn't bring herself to do it; instead she rushed to Knives' side and helped him stand. Surprisingly he didn't even attempt to shake her off and she slipped her arms tighter around him in a gentle hug.
He wiped away the blood from where the sword had caught him and looked up at Millie with intense blue eyes. In them she saw something that she had never seen before, a sense of guilt and fear whirled inside of them and she tightened her grip in attempt to comfort him.
"You...you have to stop him." He murmured.
"Wha-what?" She looked at him with a confused look on her face.
"If he kills her...he will never forgive himself." He winced slightly. Millie could not believe what she was hearing; Knives actually cared about his brother!
"Okay, but you stay here and rest Mr. Knives." She patted his shoulder gently and approached Vash who was standing frozen in one spot. She could see the tears that streamed down his face and his trembling body, 'he really did love her' she realised sadly and continued her slow path towards him.
Reaching out a hand to him she wondered if he even knew she was even there beside him, what if she startled him and he pressed the trigger? She paused and called to him softly, hoping that he would realise who she was, the cold look in his eyes was so strange and slightly unnerving but she knew it was the same Vash inside.
"Mr. Vash..." She called out gently, "Come on now, you can't kill her, it was a mistake."
"A mistake that killed Meryl!" He yelled, a horrific rage building in his eyes.
"Yes, but can't you see how sorry she is, and you heard Meryl...she will always be with you..." She sniffed back tears and forced a sad smile.
"It's not the same! She killed her, she killed Meryl." He dropped his head as the sobs bubbled up in his throat but kept his hand steady.
"Mr. Vash, no good can come of this. Meryl wouldn't want this." She took another small step forwards and at that moment Vash crumbled to his knees, the sobs racking his body.
Millie dived forwards and wrapped her arms around his shoulders to try and help ease the pain that was radiating from him like heat from the suns.
"I never got to tell her..." He whispered and she nodded, she knew what he meant and she wished that Meryl had stayed conscious just long enough to hear the confession she knew the short girl had wanted to hear.
"It's okay, I'm sure she knew." She comforted.
"No, I was so horrible to her! Now I can't say how sorry I am." He shuddered.
Ashley who was watching the scene in horror noticed the lilac haired woman and carefully approached her. The woman looked down at the child and their eyes locked, there was no need for words between them but Ashley knew she had to ask, if not for Vash's sake for Meryl's.
"Is there nothing you can do to help her?"
The question hung in the air and Violet's pale face travelled back to where the poor woman lay. Distant memories of this happening before flooded into her mind and brought tears to her eyes and she nodded slightly.
"There may be something, but there will be circumstances that will affect her."
"And what are they?"
"When Knives came and destroyed my second family my little brother was injured and dying. I used my energy to heal him, but the energy used is from the plant side, now my brother ages slower and he can use telepathy. The problem is that by using my energy to heal I become weak and if I heal the girl who is already in the clutches of death, I will most likely die."
"So you are saying that if you heal Meryl she will become a plant as well?!" Ashley half yelled.
"Yes, and because I will have to use so much energy to bring her back she will be more plant than human. I'm not sure whether she would want to be brought back if that was the case."
"You must bring her back!" Ashley demanded and Violet nodded.
Violet was aware of Knives' glare and how it burned into her as she approached the lifeless girl who lay on the sand just a few meters away. Gently she lifted Meryl up so her head and shoulders rested in her lap and cradled her with a gossamer touch. With a murmur of apologies to the unknowing woman before her she spread one palm over Meryl's silent heart and placed the other palm on her own beating one.
She raised her head to glance around her as if knowing she would never see this blistering hot planet again. She caught Knives' glare and their eyes locked, refusing to let go. In them she could see an unspoken apology and she knew the man she was looking at was not the same fiend of all those years ago. Finally her vengeful thoughts were quenched and she broke their gaze to look upon the broken man who knelt in the sand. She had hurt him so badly and if it meant she would have to die to make him happy she did not mind. It was the least she could do, her powers would finally come in use for something other than seeking revenge.
Closing her eyes she concentrated on the task ahead and heard a faint gasp from the child watching. Ashley's eyes widened in shock and stepped back in fear; the lilac haired woman seemed to be glowing with a deep inner light that resonated from her like moonbeams.
Vash glanced up from where he was kneeling in the sand - Millie's arms still around him in a gentle embrace - and spotted the strange light from where Meryl was lying. He tensed in anger and broke away from Millie who blinked in confusion.
"Mr. Vash..." She started until she spotted the light that was flowing from the strange woman and Meryl.
***Knives's POV***
From where I was I could see clearly what was happening. I knew now that I had been right to choose Violet to be one of my slaves, she was strong...maybe a little too strong, but she was proof of my good judgement.
Leaning against the car I watched the girl lean over Vash's woman and narrowed my eyes, I doubted that she could help her but it still interested me on how she planned to heal the spider. So when the plant energy started to glow inside of her, I must say that I was surprised. She could control her energy extremely well for such an annoying half-breed. Even more annoying was that it was working and I could already feel the life force of Vash's woman start to rise again.
Suddenly Vash noticed what was going on, or rather he didn't know at all what that Violet woman was doing.
"Vash!" I yelled and he turned to look at me, he looked absolutely pitiful with his eyes full of tears. I can't believe he is related to me! "Don't go near them, that woman is trying to revive her!" I practically screamed at him and smirked at seeing him flinch.
Suddenly Violet let out a strangled cry and her head drooped forwards slightly, her eyes fading quickly as the glow of energy began to leave her. I knew she didn't have long left to live at this rate and diverted my gaze towards more interesting things, Millie for example.
She was the strangest human I had ever met, naïve and yet wise at the same time. She confused me totally, but I don't know why. She stood watching Vash who was standing like a wide-eyed statue, her usually vibrant blue eyes wobbling behind swirling pools of tears. I had the strangest urge to go and comfort her, say something to bring that smile back to her face.
It was another cry of pain that snapped me from my trance and I turned my angle of gaze to where the Violet woman was.
***Normal POV***
Violet snatched her hand away from the girl before her and stumbled back, her breath was harsh and painful. Struggling to keep her eyes open she fell on the sand with a loud thud and glanced up at the sky. She had never seen such a beautiful, blue sky before, or maybe it was because she had never taken the time to look. She had always believed that the planet they lived on was an awful place, but now in the clutches of death she could finally see the beauty. Sighing she forced herself up on her elbows and dragged her eyes open, a small smile playing on her lips at seeing Vash leaning over the woman he loved. She hoped her energy had been enough and finally let herself fall into unconsciousness.
Vash pulled Meryl up into his arms and cradled her gently still not daring to hope in case Knives had been mistaken. It was only when he saw the slight rise of her chest as she drew in a small breath that he felt his heart come alive again. A tear trembled down his face and landed on her forehead, which he quickly wiped away before pulling her further into his arms and lifting her up.
"Is she alright?" Ashley asked as she ran over to his side and glanced up at them with large eyes. Vash nodded and looked over his shoulder to Millie who was kneeling beside Violet.
"Millie..." Vash started but was interrupted by his brother.
"Millie, you drive Vash and the other two home, I will care for the girl." His tone was surprisingly gentle and gained strange looks from everyone.
The tall girl nodded slightly and walked past him to get into the drivers seat. Ashley jumped into the passenger seat beside her so that Vash and Meryl could sit in the back together.
Vash was careful to make sure that Meryl was comfortable before checking her wound that was now almost completely healed. He ran his fingers through her raven hair and buried his face into her neck. He was still concerned that she might die even after having the energy transported into her, he wasn't even sure whether Meryl would want to live as a plant...would she hate him for bringing her back?
More tears built up in his eyes and he held her tighter against him, her soft breath tickling his ear. He drew in a deep breath as he felt her move slightly in his arms and nuzzled his face against her neck. "I love you..." he whispered gently, hoping that she would be able to hear him.
Millie glanced sideways to where Ashley had fallen asleep, curled up on her side like a kitten. Then she angled her head back to see Vash and Meryl curled up together, the short girl snuggled against his chest from her place on his lap. Vash's face was hidden against her neck but the way his shoulders trembled slightly gave away the sobs he was trying to hold back.
She turned back to face the desert ahead and hoped they would get back soon, she also hoped that Knives would come back to them, she didn't know what it was, but for some reason she wanted him to be with her. She wondered whether these feeling she felt for him might be something deeper than just friendship...she hoped not.
* * * * * *
Vash watched over Meryl as the town doctor leaned over to examine the unconscious girl. She straightened and glanced over at the nervous looking man.
"She hasn't had much luck lately has she." She smiled gently and pulled the blankets up around her shoulders. "She seems to be fine, she just needs rest." She glanced at him severely before turning and leaving the room.
Letting out his held breath Vash went to sit beside the bed and reached over to stroke the hair away from Meryl's eyes. Her face was pale and her breathing was shallow but even, and for him that was enough. He was so engrossed in looking at her that he didn't even notice Ashley creeping into the room until she tapped him on the shoulder. He looked at her and forced a smile onto his face, she ducked her head in embarrassment.
"Vash..." She trailed off.
"What's up?"
"She will get better, wont she?" Her voice was desperate.
"Of course, Meryl is strong." He said but his voice quaked in fear. He had no idea what he would do if Meryl didn't survive this ordeal...would he be able to live without her?
Ashley clambered up into his lap and peered at Meryl's sleeping form before snuggling back against Vash's chest. "Yes she is strong." She nodded confidently and he found himself strengthened by her remark.
"Is Millie okay?" He asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yes, she seems to be, I think she is worried about Knives though."
"Yeah...maybe he has changed."
"I don't think you need to worry about him hurting anyone, he seems quite nice to me." Ashley told him. "I think Millie is more concerned about whether he is coming back or not."
"What do you mean by that?" Vash raised an eyebrow curiously.
"Oh...nothing." Ashley laughed nervously and slipped away from him before heading for the door. "I'm hungry so I'll see you later." She gave him a small wave before darting out of the door.
Vash turned his gaze back to the woman in front of him and reached out to clasp her hand in his own, lacing his fingers with hers. He hoped with all his heart that she would forgive him for being so cruel, considering he hated to hurt people he had done a pretty good job of hurting her without even trying.
He leaned forwards to rest his head on the side of the bed and closed his eyes, he could not believe that Meryl had died trying to save him...or at least almost died. Did she really love him that much to give up everything just to keep him alive? A few more tears slithered down his face and landed on the bed before he finally fell asleep, his hand still entwined with Meryl's smaller one.
***Violet's POV***
I was too weak to even move let alone speak so I couldn't tell Knives to just leave me alone, he must have known that I didn't want him around though as he made sure not to do or say anything to me. For a long time he just sat beside me as if contemplating what to do next, I wondered why he had even decided to stay behind in the first place; surely he would have preferred to leave me here to die.
I let my head fall to the side so I could get a better view of him; he was sitting slumped up against a rock with his head lowered against his chest. For a while I thought that maybe he had fallen asleep or fainted due to the heat but suddenly his head snapped up and his eyes caught mine.
"So..." He began, "I'm waiting to hear an explanation."
'An explanation of what?' I thought, 'he must know that I can hardly speak.' I frowned and coughed violently.
"Why did you decide to show up after all this time?" He scowled and I shook my head slowly.
"I...had to...wait." I tried to clear my throat and speak again when he stood up and walked over to me.
"Don't get me wrong, the only reason I am helping you is because you made my brother happy, otherwise I would have finished you off."
"I don't...doubt it." I forced a smile and winced.
"I'm going to take you home." He informed me before lifting me up into his arms as easy as if he was lifting a doll.
My eyes closed but I didn't want to fall asleep, I was afraid that if I did I would die in the arms of the man I had hated for so long. I never would have thought that Knives was capable of caring and even if it wasn't out of affection for me it was out of affection for his brother.
"How...do..."
"You live with that brother or yours, don't you?" Knives interrupted and I nodded lightly. "Well, I'm taking you to him. He can care for you."
"I'm...dying." I forced my eyes open and met the scorn and disgust on my face.
"Giving up so easily?" He snapped.
I didn't answer him, instead I let him carry me until my eyes grew heavier and heavier, urging me into sleep.
***Normal POV***
Meryl opened her eyes very slowly, they felt like stone and the only sight that greeted her was a giant white blur. She tried to move but found that the rest of her body felt like rock so simply waited for her vision to clear. She felt so strange, like she was floating but still being kept down by gravity and her head span so violently that she thought she was going to be sick.
She tried to remember what had happened to her but couldn't, every time she found the memory it slipped away from her grasp and teased her until she grew angry. She had no idea where she was or what had happened to her since being asleep.
She tried to speak but her throat felt thick and unusable and left her lying in the silence of the blurred room. She felt like she should be dead.
It was only when she felt something move against her hand that she knew she was still alive. She tried to move her own hand and managed to wiggle her fingertips very slightly before pain shot up her arm and causing a gasp to bubble and catch in her throat.
Meryl lay completely still until she began to get the feeling back into her limbs once more and her double vision melded into one. She drew in a breath and let her head roll to the side. Her heart stopped.
She wondered whether maybe she was lying in a dream, for there next to her was Vash, his head rested against the bed and his face turned towards her - completely relaxed in sleep. She felt a smile twitch at her lips and lifted a hand to stroke the golden stands of hair away from his eyes.
'He left with his brother, but now he's here with me...' she couldn't think why he would suddenly return to her, maybe he was reconsidering her confession. Maybe he had decided that maybe he could fall in love with her, or maybe he had returned because he pitied her. She was so confused but it didn't stop her from enjoying the moment.
Ignoring the ache in her arm she continued to stroke her fingers through his unruly mop of golden hair. It was softer than she thought possible and she felt tears gathering in her eyes. It was only when she felt him shift under her gossamer touch that she snatched her hand away and swore as the pain returned to her muscles.
He sat up and his eyes widened at seeing a pair of violet eyes looking back at him. Then he looked down at their linked hands and blushed violently before untangling his fingers from hers and pulling away.
'So that's why I found it so hard to move my other hand' she thought happily and continued to look at him.
"So you're awake." He laughed nervously.
"Why are you back...what happened to me?" She finally managed to find her voice.
"What...you don't remember?" She noticed that he grew even more nervous and her heart shuddered in growing suspense.
"N-no...what happened?" Her tone was bordering on fear.
"Hey it doesn't matter right now, just get some rest okay." He smiled softly and stood up.
"No, you tell me now!" She yelled and he tried to quieten her.
"Fine...but don't hurt me when you find out okay."
"Idiot." She breathed.
"Well, uhh...you kind of got hurt...well actually...you died." He gave her a stupid grin, which faltered at the sight of her terror-stricken face.
"I...I remember." The memory, which had up till now evaded her now finally settled in her grasp and she remembered everything. She tried to sit up but was rewarded with striking pain in her body and was forced to remain still.
"I'm sorry." Vash whispered.
"So why am I still alive?" She choked, her voice barely audible.
"The woman who hurt you, she was a plant...she used her energy to cure you."
"And where is she now?"
"With my brother." He leaned closer and lifter her small hand into his own once more. "Meryl..."
She swallowed nervously and forced herself to meet his gaze, she found no comfort in them - only a deep grief - and her heart beat cold.
"The energy she used to revive you, well...you are no longer...you are more plant than you are human."
"Like...you." Meryl whispered and clung to his hand as if he would slip away from her.
"Yes, please forgive me." He was crying now but desperately trying to hide it from her.
"I should have known you wouldn't have let me die without a fight." She forced a smile even though on the inside she felt confused and like a total stranger. She no longer knew herself; she had woken up to find that she wasn't even the same species anymore.
"Well actually it was Ashley's idea." Vash admitted.
"Oh." Meryl found herself slightly disappointed that it hadn't been him fighting to save her.
"Meryl..."
"Yes."
"I need to tell you something, because if I don't then I will regret it for the rest of my life." Their eyes met again.
"Okay, I'm listening." She nodded slightly and squeezed his hand.
"I tired to tell you when you were hurt...but you had already fallen unconscious." He drew in a deep breath and tried to stay calm, he had never said this to anyone before, and he had never realised how hard these words were to say. 'Breathe' he reminded himself and drew closer to her.
"I love you." There he had finally said it.
She stared silently at him, her eyes clouded over and tears building inside of them. She shook her head slowly and tugged her hand out of his grip.
"You are only saying that because you feel guilty, and now that I have turned into this plant thing you feel like you have a responsibility to look after me." Her eyes burned in rage but also with a deep anguish.
"No you have it all wrong." His voice was desperate now and he reached out for her hand again. "I promise Meryl, I have felt this way about you for ages, I was just scared and...and I knew I would be leaving and I didn't want to hurt you. But I failed and you got hurt badly and I was so selfish...can you ever forgive me?" His eyes were whirling pools of tears now and he seemed to look deep down into her soul for the answers.
"I don't know if I can believe you." She murmured softly.
"Then how can I prove it? I'll do anything, just say the word and it's yours." He was begging with her and she shrugged slightly.
"I don't want anything." She replied and closed her eyes slowly.
* * * * * *
Knives finally found the small house where Violet and her brother had been staying in. He had thought that maybe he had been mistaken and he had gone in the wrong direction, but once again he had been right.
She was dying and he knew that all too well, but he would not let her die alone with people she didn't even know. Maybe it was because he felt he had to make up for what had happened in the past or maybe it was because he actually wanted to...either way he didn't care.
She shifted slightly in his grip and her eyes opened, it scared him to see how much death lingered inside of them.
"We're almost there." He told her sharply and increased his step...she didn't have long left.
The small house they were approaching seemed to be nothing more than a tatty little building but Knives knew it had to be the right one, and walking quicker still, he made his way up to the small house.
"Hey! Is anyone in there?" He yelled as he pushed the door open and peered into the one-roomed house.
"Who's there?" Someone called out from inside.
"I brought back your sister, she is dying." Knives informed coldly and laid her down on the ground.
A boy maybe a few years younger than Violet scampered over to her and Knives stood for a moment, watching him cry over her. The girl was too far gone to be helped, Knives knew that better than anyone but he remained until the very end.
* * * * * *
Umm yeah...no comment...if it is any excuse I have been preparing for exams for a few weeks so my creativity isn't what it used to be...
I'll let you make up your own minds about this chapter.
So please review for me.
'Love and Peace'