DISCLAIMER: Tamora Pierce owns the characters, except for the Narrator and the RSPP. I think the plot is unowned, but maybe it's owned by the Brothers Grimm. Eh, who cares. They're dead, anyway.

A/N: Here it is! The final chapter of Sleeping Magelet! Read my A/N at the end of the story to find out about my next fic, which will be rather different than Cinderalanna and Sleeping Magelet. (Don't worry, after that I'll get right back on track with a PotS fairy tale then a DotL fairy tale.)

Last but not least, thank you Roherwen for giving me the idea to use Varice as a minion of Ozorne(lla)'s.

Chapter 5: How it All Turns Out

Narrator: Back to the Divine Realms, near Sarra and Weiryn's land, TTRNGP and Neal were trying to convince Daine to come out of the tree...

Alanna: DAINE! Come down here!

Onua: C'mon, Daine!

Daine : Caw !

Thayet : I can order you down as Queen of Tortall !

Daine: Caw!

Neal: You come down here or I'll go up there!

Daine: CAWWWW! [flies down and turns back into a human]

Neal: [stares at Daine]

Daine: [screams, remembering that when she turns human again she's not wearing clothes]

Thayet: Erm...dear...go behind the tree and get dressed.

Daine: [runs behind the tree]

Neal: [still staring]

Onua: [smacks Neal] Snap out of it!

Narrator: Back to Ozornella...

Ozornella: [flying around his citadel] I CAN FLLLLYYYYYY!

RSPP: We believe you can flyyyyy...we believe you can touch the skyyyy...

Ozornella: What the heck?

Varice: [on the ground near the citadel] OZORNE! COME DOWN HERE!

Ozornella: Can't you read the word before the colon? IT SAYS OZORNELLA!

Varice: Whatever. Did you find her yet?

Ozornella: Would you stop asking me that every 5 minutes? I'm on my way to find her now!

Varice: Oh, goody! Can I prick her with the toothpick?

Ozornella: NO! I GET TO DO THAT!

Varice: WHYYYYY?

Ozornella: Because I'M THE BOSS! YOU ARE THE MINION!

Varice: [sniffs] I'm so unappreciated...

RSPP: SO ARE WE! [they wave their signs around]

Varice: Go away you annoying people!

RSPP: You called us ANNOYING? WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS DISCRIMINATION ANY LONGER! [they start bonking Varice on the head with their signs]

Varice: Ow! OW! OWWWWW!

Ozornella: MUAHAHAHA! I never liked you anyway! [he flies away]

Narrator: Meanwhile, TTRNGP take Daine to Weiryn's lands...

Sarra: MY BABY! [she runs to Daine]

Daine: Um...

Sarra: [looks at Neal] Is this your boyfriend?

Neal: Yup! [he kisses Daine]

Daine: [kicks him] Get off of me!

Weiryn: She can't have boyfriends, dear. She's betrothed.

Daine: [bursts into tears]

Sarra: I'm sorry, dear. Neal can visit you sometimes.

Daine: [starts crying harder]

Sarra: Was it something I said?

Alanna: Ummm...Neal's a...soft point with Daine.

Onua: [snorts] I don't think that's exactly what I would've called it, Alanna. More like he drives her so batty she gets mad at the very mentioning of his name.

Sarra: Isn't he her boyfriend?

Daine: [cries even harder]

Sarra: What am I doing wrong?

Weiryn: Erm, dear, drop the Neal thing.

Sarra: Why?

Weiryn: Just do it!

Sarra: You don't have to YELL!

Ozornella: [swoops in through the window]

Daine: [stops crying] Who's he?

Ozornella: SHE!

Daine: Whatever. Who's THAT?

Thayet: [gasps] OZORNE!

Ozornella: OZORNELLA!

Thayet: Whatever.

Ozornella: [turns to Daine] Because your parents did not invite me to your naming ceremony, I'm going to KILL YOU!

Daine: Sheesh, you can sure hold a grudge...

Ozornella: [moves TETOD around in the light, making it sparkle] Everyone knows that this is the most basic of sorcery-make someone look at a shiny thing and they must do whatever you tell them to! MUAHAHAHA! Daine-come here-the rest of you-get back!

Everyone: [obeys]

Ozornella: Now, Daine, give me a kiss before you say goodbye, would you?

Daine: [instantly snaps out of her trance because of the thought of kissing Ozornella] Aren't you female?

Ozornella: Crossdresser. They're two very different things. Now KISS ME!

Daine: [runs around in circles shrieking "EW! EW!"]

Numair: [bursts through the door] I heard my betrothed was here...

Daine: Um, Numair? Why are you here?

Numair: What are YOU doing here?

Daine: I ASKED YOU FIRST!

Numair: So?

Ozornella: EXCUSE ME! I'M STILL HERE!

Neal: So am I, but does anyone EVER pay attention to ME?

Ozornella: No, but you're not the evil crossdresser who's about to kill the heroine!

Alanna: Awww, well, I'm not amazing enough to be a HEROINE...

Ozornella: I mean DAINE you IDIOT!

Numair: Daine's a heroine?

Alanna: She's a goddess, goddesses are always heroines!

Numair: Goddess?

Alanna: Not THE goddess!

Numair: I know THAT!

Thayet: What I'm confused about is the Threefold Goddess. If you go to it says that the Great Mother Goddess and the Threefold Goddess are the same. So what's up with the two names?

Onua: Maybe that's her Carthaki name, because you only hear it in Carthak.

Numair: WHAT'S GOING ON?

Neal: What I'M confused about is why Queen Thayet's name is pronounced Thigh-Yet. Why not Thay-Yet?

Thayet: Well why isn't your name spelled N-E-I-L?

George: What I'M confused about is if I'm one of the author's favorite characters, why do I have ONE LINE in Cinderalanna? And I don't show up until NOW in Sleeping Magelet?

Alanna: She doesn't want to mess up your character, dear. Like she messed up everyone elses. And don't worry, you'll have a big part in Sound of Chickens.

Daine: Alanna, I don't think you were supposed to tell...

Alanna: Oops.

Ozornella: EVERYONE SHUT UP!

Crickets: [chirp]

Ozornella: Neal, you seem to be good at talking, tell Numair what's going on.

Neal: You see, Daine's last name isn't really Stormwing. It's Sarrasri. Her real name is Auroradaine. She's the daughter of Weiryn and Sarra the Green Lady. She was brought to TTRNGP when she was a baby, and she didn't know who she was until today. She's betrothed to some weird prince dude, even though she really wants to marry me. Got it?

Thayet: Did you know a DUDE is an infected hair on an elephant's rear end?

Numair: YOU CALLED ME AN INFECTED HAIR? [tries to stab Neal, but misses and kills Ozornella] Um, oops?

Ozornella: I'm MEEEEEEEEELLLLTING! MEEEEEEEEEELLLLTING! [dissolves into a puddle, with two eyeballs floating in it]

Daine: Ew.

Sarra: So, Arram, did you come to meet Daine?

Numair/Arram: DAINE? I came to meet Aurora...

Sarra: Well, she's used to Daine now.

Daine: I'm...betrothed to...YOU?

Sarra: Oh, I'm sorry it wasn't Neal, dear. If I'd had my druthers, you would have married your true love, but Weiryn thought-oh my!

Daine and Numair/Arram: [kiss]

Neal: Here we go again...

Varice: [swoops in] NOT SO FAST! [she snatches TETOD up from where it was unnoticed next to the eyeballs] I managed to escape from those evil RSPP, and now I'll KILL YOU! [she pricks Daine with the toothpick]

Daine: [faints in deep sleep]

Numair: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Neal: OK! OK! We get the picture!

Numair: O!

Varice: Now, Arram, or Numair, or whatever, we have things to do!

Numair: No!

Neal: Will you stop with the no thing?

Numair: Stop this, Varice!

RSPP: Stop! In the name of love!

Varice: [turns to RSPP] You again? Why I'll-

Numair: [hits her over the head, rendering her unconscious] Now...[he kisses Daine]

Daine: [her eyelids flutter open] Numair...

TTRNGP and Sarra: [sigh]

Weiryn and Neal: [gag]

Numair: Marry me?

Daine: Why, I don't think I have a choice! [giggles]

Maura of Dunlath: I want to protest! I'm not in this at all!

George: Join the club.

Maura: Oooh, we can call ourselves the Unfortunately Ignored By The Almighty Author Association! Also known as the UIBTAAA!

Alanna: No more acronyms, please!

Numair: We need to just take care of Varice right now.

Jon: [appears out of nowhere] That's the only good thing about me. I'm KING, so whatever I say goes, and everyone's gonna live happily ever after! OK, first, Daine and Numair?

Daine: Yessir?

Jon: You can marry Numair and live in his palace!

Daine: Yay!

Jon: Sarra and Weiryn?

Sarra: Yes?

Jon: You are allowed into the Mortal Realms as often as you like, as long as it's to see your daughter.

Weiryn: Thank you, your Highness.

Jon: Alanna.

Alanna: Yeah, Jon?

Jon: You and George get to go home and live out your life in peace, until the Almighty Author says otherwise.

George: No problem! [they disappear]

Jon: Onua.

Onua: Uh-huh.

Jon: Go...muck out the stables or something.

Onua: Okey-dokey. [disappears]

Jon: Varice?

Varice: [wakes up] Hmmmm?

Jon: You get to spend the rest of your life in a jail cell tormented by RSPP

Varice: NOOOOO!

RSPP: We hate you, you hate us, we're gonna grind you into dust! [they disappear]

Jon: And, finally, Thayet.

Thayet: Yeah?

Jon: You get to stay with me!

Thayet: Oh...goody.

Neal: Hey, what about me?

Yuki: Hi, Neal.

Neal: Uh, nevermind.

THE END

A/N: THANK YOU REVIEWERS!

My next fic is...[drumroll] THE SOUND OF CHICKENS! It's the Tortallan Sound of Music. I'm doing a non-fairy tale because...well, I felt like something different. It's starring characters from all 3 quartets, with Alanna as Maria. To know more...well, read it. I'll put it up soon, cross my heart.

Also, after that fic I'm going right back on track with a PotS fairy tale, then a DotL fairy tale. I'm just stalling so I can't get my DotL fairy tale up until I read TQ.

So, thanks again, and I'll see you soon!