A/N- I don't own any of the characters in this story. I only own the plot, if there is one. This takes place when the Marauders are still in school, around their sixth or seventh year. I'm still running a mild case of bloody writer's block for basically every story other than "Charades" and "Loving My Best Friend", so I thought I'd use this as a way to get my spare ideas out. I hope you like it!!!

A Look into the Life of the Wondrous Sirius Black

Entry One:

My Bloody Book

6:01 PM

Sunday

Hello, you bloody book. Sirius Black here. I hate you, you bloody book.

Why, you may ask, do I hate you?

Because you're a BOOK.

I don't like books.

Well, I guess you're not really a book book. You don't have any words in you. Well, you do now, because I am writing in you.

But that's not the point.

Sirius Black does not like books, and he most certainly does NOT write in them.

Well, actually, he does. Write in lesson books, that is.

But he does NOT write in diaries. So you are not really a bloody book, but a bloody diary.

"Bloody Book" sounds better.

So why does he continue writing in you?

WHY does he keep talking in the third person?!?

You must have cursed him- I mean, me, for why else would I still be writing in you?

YES, THAT'S IT!!! YOU HAVE CURSED ME!!!!

DIE, YOU BLOODY ROTTEN BOOK!!! DIE!!!

Now Moony is looking at me strangely because I have just attempted to strangle you.

But, alas, it is impossible to strangle a book, for you do not have a neck.

Or do you?

Maybe I should just go strangle Moony. He gave you to me in the first place, you bloody book.

I asked him what I could use you for.

He said to write my thoughts in.

Me?!? Write?!?

Is he crazy?!?

He very well might be.

To strangle Moony, or not to strangle Moony, that is the question.

Maybe I won't strangle Moony.

Yet.

I shall wait for a more opportune moment...

6:11 PM

Sunday

Like now.

6:15 PM

Sunday

Drat.

Operation "Strangle Moony" was a complete failure.

Prongs made me stop.

Dang Prongs.

Seems he thinks giving that giving you to me is not reason enough to strangle someone.

Has he gone crazy too?

No time to worry about that.

I'm hungry.

Time for dinner!!!

7:00 PM

Sunday

Dinner was good.

Poured pumpkin juice on Snivellus.

Ran away before the professors could catch me.

Time to play "Exploding Snap" with Prongs.

8:00 PM

Sunday

Now I must go pester Moony for his homework so I can copy it.

Be back soon!

10:00 PM

Sunday

After much pestering from yours truly, Moony finally coughed up the homework.

I suppose writing in you actually isn't that bad. It is actually slightly fun!

Now Prongs is giving me funny looks, as he was reading over my shoulder and just read the line previous of this one.

Poor Prongs. He just doesn't realize the wonders of writing.

Just don't tell Moony I said any of this. He would never let me hear the end of it.

But you won't tell, will you!

You're a book, and books can't talk!

Or can they?