Chiaki: Get your hankies out, kiddies.
Zim: Zim needs none of these 'hankies'! What are you on about?
Chiaki: You'll see... =(
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader ZIM. Jhonen and loadsa other people do.
GRAVE
Can you hear me?
I've heard that when people are in a coma they can still hear you, or something like that. I hope you can hear me. I came to say I'm sorry.
That's a bit rich coming from me, isn't it? I was the one always threatening you with torture and suffering, and here I am taking it all back.
Your dad's here; he's outside in the corridor, but he isn't speaking. I don't think he knows quite what to say. Your sister wouldn't come. She hasn't come for the past couple of weeks. I don't think she can take any more of it. I can understand why.
Why did you have to do it? She said she didn't care what that jerk said. She even walked away! But you couldn't let it go, could you? Normally I'd be insulting you for being so stupid but now I can't even think about doing it.
I don't know what happened to Torque. I saw him get in the police car, and that was it. I haven't watched the news or anything since it happened, though. I go all numb and I can't seem to hear what they're saying.
The bastard. If the court judges don't give him what he deserves then I'll make sure I do.
I never thought that humans could be so protective of their families. I mean, I know they care for each other, but you were willing to take on that idiot just because he insulted your sister. I still don't really understand what drives humans to feel like they need to protect others around them. I'll have to read about it or something.
The part I feel worst about... is the bit where I didn't help you. I wasn't standing that far away, just about a quarter of the length of the playground; I saw Torque beating on you. I was grinning with some sick pleasure- but there was something inside that told me that he was going too far.
It was... weird. I've seen human blood before, but never as much as that. I don't know what the hell stopped me from going over and trying to help you. Nobody else noticed, of course, and the ones that did probably didn't care. They never paid any attention to you anyway, and they would have probably thought it was funny.
Ha. Yeah. It's really fucking funny to watch a big guy like that beat the living shit out of someone weaker than him, isn't it?
That nurse outside is looking at me now. She probably heard me swearing, but I don't care. Not like it's her business anyway. She knows I come here every day to talk to you, so I don't know why she's acting surprised.
Look, they left your hair looking all messy. I've never seen it as bad as this. I tried to make it go back to the way it usually is but it always springs back into a funny position. Sure, it looked all dorky when it was all scythe-like and pointy, but now it's just... limp. Lifeless. Like you are right now.
They cleaned the dirt and blood off your face when you were first brought in, but you're still covered in bruises and cuts. I don't know much about doctors on this planet, but to me it looks like they're not making much of an effort.
They said they wanted to take you off life support, but that made your sister go into hysterics so they didn't take it any further. They said there wasn't much of a chance of you waking up in a while... What they actually said was the next few years, but I don't believe them. I can't believe them, somehow.
I don't know if I want you to wake up. Half of me wants you to wake up so I can say I'm sorry to your face and so I can help you get better. But the other half wants you to stay like this; what good is it being awake if you're so weak you can't even eat or talk?
I never hated you, Dib. Wow, I even said your name properly instead of spitting it like I usually do. I never really wanted to hurt you; to tell the truth, I didn't think you could seriously stop my plans for conquering this filthy planet. I'm sorry if I ever did hurt you, physically or emotionally. I can't even remember if I did right now. All my memories have gone all blurry and I know that the ones that are left are all messed up and wrong. All I know is that you were bullied a lot at skool, and that I became a part of the daily taunting; I hope you didn't take it too seriously. You're above it, right?
Now that's something that I really hate- you can't answer me. I want to hear your voice again; hear you speaking, shouting, even that nerdy guffaw you do so well. But the last time I heard you speak was when they were taking you to the hospital. I was in the ambulance, remember, with your sister? That was the last time I talked to you before you came here.
You kept slipping in and out of conciousness; most of the time you were unconcious, but you were always angry and confused when you were awake. You told me to go away, and kept calling for your mother. The rest of your speech was mostly incoherent, but you wouldn't stop crying. You were jabbering away and crying your eyes out at the same time; like you were seeing things that hurt you. I tried to tell you it was okay, but I know you couldn't see or hear anything because you didn't respond at all. That was what broke me; when we finally got to the hospital I ran to hide in the restrooms, and for the first time in my life I cried.
It's kind of ironic, isn't it? You're the one human I wanted to hurt more than anyone else; you were my number-one enemy, the person I hated more than anyone, and I never even got to cause you a decent amount of pain. And yet here's this guy who hardly knows you at all, that just picks on you at skool, and he was able to damage you more than I could do in all the time I've been here.
I have to go now; they want to have a word with your dad in here. I don't know if I'll go home. I think I'll have to; GIR might have trashed the house. You remember GIR, don't you? That little robot dog thingy. He likes you. Whenever I come back after visting you he always asks, "Ooh! Is Dibby comin' round to play today? Is he all better?". I can't answer him.
I'll come back tomorrow evening too, I promise. I brought flowers this time, see? I read that humans take gifts to the people who are really sick or hurt. I'll bring you a card tomorrow.
It's nine days later. I did come back the day after like I said I would, but you were gone. I panicked; your dad and sister weren't there either. When I asked one of the nurses where you were, she asked who I was. I said I was 'one of his best friends'- a downright lie. She told me to sit down, but I didn't want to. I demanded that she told me here and now. She looked a little unsettled at my tone, but I didn't care. I was desperate to know where you were.
The next two words she spoke were enough to reduce me to a sobbing wreck.
The morgue.
I didn't believe her at first. I screamed at her through my tears, demanding to see you. She said she'd get me a glass of water, but I yelled that she was a pile of unsensitive filth who should burn in hell and ran out of the hospital.
Now I'm here. The cemetary. I find it rather disgusting that they shoved you in a box and buried you in the dirt, but if that's the custom I guess I can't do anything about it. There's some candles from your dad and flowers from your sister. I didn't bring anything. I don't want to; if I leave something like that here it'll mean that I've accepted that you're really gone.
GIR was listening to the radio today. I heard this song... it caught my attention because it sounded so sad- I've been leaning towards the more depressing things since... you were gone.
There was one verse that really stuck in my mind, though. It keeps repeating over and over in my head.
[And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase]
When I heard that... it was then when I realised I had to let you go. If I don't accept that you're gone my bereavement is going to destroy me.
So that's why I'm here again by your grave.
Can you see me?
I've heard that some humans believe when you die you go somewhere in the sky or something. It sounds pretty stupid to me, but I still hope you've managed to make it to someplace nice.
I'm sorry for the way I treated you, Dib. I'm sorry I always put you down. I'm sorry I was stupid enough to laugh when you were in pain. I'm sorry that because of my stupidity you've lost all the oppurtunities that life offers you. I'm sorry I didn't help you when you needed it.
I know sorry isn't enough, but I don't really know what else to say. We were enemies after all, and I guess if you were alive you'd still want us to be.
I don't know if I'm still going to try to take over Earth. I know you wouldn't want it. I'll have to speak to the Tallest and then make a decision.
But I'm getting off track here. I came to say goodbye. I hope you're happy, wherever you are, and I wish that we could have become friends.
Goodbye, Dib.
Chiaki: Man, that's the hardest fanfic I ever wrote. I've never written a character death before. Oo;
Dib: ...You... you killed me!
Chiaki: I know. Sorry.
Dib: Sure you are! ::Sulks::
Zim: I think it was funny.
Chiaki: Really? I think it was quite tear-inducing. =( ::Sniffs:
Zim: PATHETIC HUMAN EMOTIONS! Zim would never stoop so low!
Chiaki: Uh-huh. ¬¬
Anyway, I hope you guys er, 'enjoyed' this fic, no matter how depressing it was. Let me know what you think.