Title: Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc
Author: Dr. Zephyr Tanaka
Rating: PG for light swearing.
Genre: Drama/Philosophy
Summary: Post-ep for 'Poisoning the Well'. When Beckett feels depressed about what happened to the Hoffans, he gets a wake-up call from who he least expected to be giving lessons in philosophy. One-shot.
Meaning of Title: Latin. You'll read what it means in this. It's relative, trust me.
Authoress's Notes: At end, for sake of not ruining story. Oh, and won't let me do my "---" scene breaks. So I'm gonna put [SB] at each one.
[SB]
It was late, and he knew it. Yet, he stayed in the lab, going over the so-called vaccine again and again. He already had the report on it to memory, able to recite it in his sleep. If he ever got any...
He glanced at the clock distractedly. 0200 hours. Two AM. He sighed, dropping his pen onto the desk and flipping the notebook closed. He knew he would not get any rest, even is he tried. But the cloud of what happened on Hoff hung on his mind, making everything seem... grey.
"You look like hell."
Beckett jumped out of his chair, whirling around to the door. The resident Canadian stood there, shoulder leaning on the frame of the door. He held a cup of coffee in one hand and his laptop powerbook in the other. Rodney pushed off the wall, approaching the medical doctor, who calmed visibly at his presence.
"Hello, Rodney. Set yourself on fire with one of your toys again? I think I'm running low on aloe vera." the Scot sent a half-hearted grin to the other man.
"Ha ha. Actually, I'm fine." he awkwardly offered the steaming coffee out, not making eye contact. "Though I can't say the same for you."
Carson gingerly took the warm mug, blowing on it before taking a few sips. "Just your everyday case of insomnia. I'll be fine tomorrow."
"Whatever you say."
He looked up at the cynical astrophysist. "I'm sorry?"
"You're the worst liar in the city."
Silence stretched between the two men, making Carson highly uncomfortable. He'd expected someone to ask, but not McKay.
"Let's go." the Canadian cocked his head toward the door, beginning to backpedal to it.
"Go where?"
"Nowhere in particular. Just for a friendly walk-an'-talk. Come on. You've been in here all day." Suddenly, he smiled. "And I thought I was bad. You've beaten my record for researching without sleep by three hours."
Carson allowed himself a shallow laugh. "Alright. I know you won't leave me be til I agree, eh?"
"Damn straight. Let's go."
[SB]
The two strolled almost casually around Atlantis with little more sound other than a few stray hellos from the night guard and their own footsteps on the cold floor. The quiet was familiar, the duo so well acquainted that meaningless chatter was not needed.
Eventually, Rodney waved his hand over a door panel to one of the balconies and they walked out into the night air to the edge, leaning onto the railing. Rodney's eyes floated upward to the stars, slightly obscured by the wispy clouds. In a very light tone so unlike his normal voice, he began talking.
"There's no point to any of this you know." Carson's eyes shot to him, surprised at the sudden talk and puzzled on the subject. "No matter what people learn, its only something to preoccupy them until whatever end they meet. Actually, when I really think about it, it takes away from living." He looked at Carson for any sign of reaction. Beckett only looked confused at where the topic was going. A light went on in his head, thinking of a way to explain it. "I mean, people love stargazing, right? Just for the beauty of it, the way one's imagination takes the notion and runs with it." he swept his arm outward to the sky, bring Carson's gaze up to the inky blue background and the pinpricks of white.
"But then you really do learn what is out there. And you learn more than that, you see the places you're so used to seeing from a distance up close." Rodney ran his hand over his chin, not entirely comfortable with his current soul-bearing.
"Then what? People continue, becoming scientists and doctors of astrophysics and astronomy and even astrology. They look at what they once considered beauty and see only numbers and letters in their mind, relaying completely useless information. Instead of seeing that lovely star they focused on, they see Ursa Minor, some odd light years away, whether it's a dwarf or supernova or whatever. They lose sight of what matters."
Beckett started to see the dawning of his own understanding, but the fact that this was Dr. Rodney McKay talking... A strange and completely foreign thought when he looked back on it...
"They delude themselves into thinking this is what it means to appreciate them. And their mind doesn't register what they're losing. It sees the stars and goes 'Wow, I understand them and love them more' because that's what they think they're supposed to feel. It's all a facade they subconsciously force onto the act of science to justify it." The trouble-prone of the two rested his face on his crossed arms, slouching against the barrier to avoid Carson's questioning gaze as he continued.
"But... realizing that... I wouldn't have it any other way. As futile as it was to learn, it made me finally get that. Once that clicked, I never regretted anything I've done.
"My point is... that there's no point. No point in regretting, angsting, wallowing, none of it. You make a mistake? That's fate. It's our jobs as scientists to make them and supposively to repair them and try again. Don't let not knowing guilt you so you avoid the path you chose in the first place. It's unjust."
"The Hoffans lost sight of the Without warning, he pushed off the rail and left the balcony without another word, leaving Carson staring at his jacket's back and with his own thoughts.
[SB]
About an hour later, Carson rubbed his eyes, hand running over the right wall as he headed back to his quarters, finally feeling a bit of peace. He came to his door and tore his weary eyes from the floor to open the door.
On the panel was a yellow sticky-note folded over. He picked the paper up and opened it carefully. Inside was what he knew unmistakably as Rodney's untidy scrawl of cursive writing.
'"Post hoc ergo propter hoc" is a lie. Get some sleep.
RM'
Carson pocketed the note, opening his door with a wave of his hand. Instead of his original plan of flopping onto the bed, he walked to the bookshelf of reference books in the corner, running his forefinger over the titles before pulling out an old Latin dictionary. Rodney was barely tri-lingual, speaking his country's native tongue, French, the required American-English, and to understand Ancient, Latin. He grabbed a legal notepad and a pen, jotting down the phrase and being to flip through, looking for the words.
Ten minutes later, he smiled and turned off the light. Post hoc ergo propter hoc; "After, therefore because of." Definitely a lie.
[SB]
Authoress's Notes: Alright, I admit these are my own thoughts on the subject being portrayed through McKay. I took a long walk after the episode aired. I found it very... intriguing. I have a habit of acting out scenes from my fic ideas aloud, and this is what came out.
This was just a little break from my trilogy. Please, don't Hit-The-Zephyr. I'll get back on it right now.
Hope you enjoyed this little one-shot as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Post hoc ergo propter hoc. Scary, no?
Dr. Zephyr Tanaka