Hello. It is I, Snape=Sexy. I've decided that this story is too good to pass up. So, I shall up-date it when I feel the need. Do enjoy this next segment. But first, I'd like to thank my three readers:

LFMPMD: Thanks and yes, Eurotrip is a very funny movie.

The Rogue Prince: I'm glad you liked it and again, Eurotrip is the best.

Vicioskitten156: Are you really vicious? Glad you liked it.

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any other movie/book that shows up, mainly Eurotrip.

Jamie's Magical Hogwarts Adventure

We finally arrived at the Great Hall as I finished telling the others about what Snape did.

"Oh my god, Becky, look... Sorry guys, got a bit carried away..." Ron trailed off.

"So, Snape really winked at you and smacked his ass?!" Harry seemed slightly shocked, "Snape? The mean old 'I hate everyone' Potions Master winked at you?!"

"Yeah."

"Wow... And I missed it... Damn..."

We arrived at the big doors and walked into the bustle of the students. "Well guys," I yelled over the noise, "It was fun! Let's hang out tomorrow, say at the library, around... 11:00 maybe?"

Everyone nodded and I headed towards the Ravenclaw table. I thought I heard Harry mutter, "I wonder if he'd smack my ass..."

Dirty, dirty little nerd boy... I found an open seat at my table, well actually, the girls pushed some guy onto the floor so I'd have someplace to sit.

"Ladies, hello. How you doing?" I casually replied as I sat down.

"We're doing fine." One of them purred.

"Who are you sexy?" another asked.

"Jamie and who are all of you fine young ladies?"

They gave me their names and I think that if we weren't in the Great Hall, they would have all tried to do me at once, not that I'd mind...

Although, one girl in particular stood out. Her name was Cho Chang. She was one sexy piece of ass. I think I might add her to my 'To Do' list along with that Ron kid, Draco, Hermione, Fred and George and maybe Harry, if he lost the glasses and trimmed his hair slightly.

I pulled it out, wrote her name down and was stuffing it in my pocket when one girl asked, "What's that?"

"Oh, my To Do list."

"Oh." Then Dumbledore started to speak.

"Hello returning staff and to returning students. Please, bring in the first years."

The doors opened and lots of little children came into the hall. Professor McGonagall came out with an old hat. Then she called the names of the children and they were sorted into houses. When the sorting was done and the children at their tables, Dumbledore stood up again to speak.

"Again, I would like to welcome the returning students and staff and I'd like to welcome the new students and new staff." He motioned towards a tall man who was starting to bald slightly. "May I introduce Professor Dabuya."

Dabuya stood up and pulled a large white cowboy hat from under the table, put it on and tipped it as we politely applauded.

"Howdy Hogwarts!" he yelled to us.

I stared at him. He looked very familiar... Oh!!! I know who he is but what the hell is he doing in Europe?!

As I pondered this, Dumbledore announced it was feast time. The table in front of us then suddenly filled with food. And man, was it good food!! At last when we were stuffed, Dumbledore bid us all a good night.

So, with my new fan club, we headed for the fifth floor, where the Ravenclaw dormitories were. Upon reaching our statue of a naked chic or at least I think it's a chic..., we found Snape and Dabuya in a heated discussion.

When we were close enough, this is the conversation we heard:

"Y-you!! And that git Jackson?!"

"There ain't be nothin' wrong with him! He be my bestest friend."

Snape looked more disgusted than usual. Dabuya then noticed us standing there. "Oh! Howdy children! Me n' Snape here was just talkin' bout' my good friend Michael Jackson from America."

We stared. Michael Jackson? Oh god...

Snape spoke up in the uncomfortable silence, "Go to your dormitory or I'll take 50 points from Ravenclaw."

Cho spoke up, "Ummm... Excuse me Professor but we don't have any points yet and both of you are standing in front of our entrance."

"Oh." Snape looked slightly irked and he pushed Dabuya out of the way and moved. "Go."

"We can't. You're not supposed to know the password."

Dabuya suddenly perked up, "Passwords!! I love passwords!! Ooh! Ooh! Let me guess!! Oval Office!! Monica Lewinski!! Butterfly! Underwear!!" He started to giggle at his last guess, "Hehe... I said underwear..."

Snape gave an exasperated sigh and stalked off muttering, "Stupid yank..."

The only problem was that Dabuya heard him, "What?! Who's havin' a wank?"

I burst out laughing and fell onto the floor, rolling. My roars of laughter could be heard throughout the fifth floor.

Dabuya looked confused and walked off muttering, "What is a wank..."

As you can see, Jamie's already in for an interesting year. Sorry I didn't put too much Snape in there. I was trying to get a somewhat decent plot down. Also, I can't guaranty that every chapter will be really sketchy but I'll try. As always, my e-mail is in the profile, feel free. Please review!