Well, here we are with the fifth installment of "Reason why Wings are Useless".
This one requires a bit of exposition before we get started. See, this is set a year after The Wind Waker (although there are some inconsistencies in the first few chapters). So this means that all of Ganon's minions have moved out of Dragon Roost Cavern, and the Rito population has just moved back in. So there are maybe 50 Ritos living in there (yes, it's a small population). I will be referring to some of these Ritos occasionally from now on, and if they're referred to by name, chances are they're gonna be sub-characters.
So, on with the show!
LINK's high off... something.
[---]
So, how does everyone like their new living quarters? We also remind the mailworkers to get used to living with more Ritos again.
- Basht and Bisht
[---]
Dude, I think Link does drugs. I was minding my own business, staring out into the ocean, when he just attacks me with his hyperness, and we both fall into the water! I was preening my feathers for an hour! This was way over the top, even for him. I'm actually kind of worried.
- Prince Komali
[---]
For once, I have to agree with you. He's high off something, that's for sure. He was bouncing off the walls in here...
But maybe his attack was an attempt to get some from you. C'mon, you know you loved it.
- Skett
[---]
Heh, that's definitely it. He wants you, Komali...
Hey, something just occurred to me. If you think about the pairing, it doesn't quite work... I mean, neither of them seem like the top to take control of things... Sexually, I mean.
- Akoot
[---]
Skett, Akoot, Komali is only 14. Keep the more mature comments to yourselves.
Besides, with the way Link's been acting as of late, Komali would most definitely be bottom.
- Quill
[---]
Wow, this journal has gone to the gutter. Try to keep it at least a little clean?
- Namali
[---]
I hate you all.
- Prince Komali
[---]
Hey, don't worry, you wouldn't be the only gay one around here. Namali tried to snog me the other day.
- Ilari
[---]
Damn it, I told you I thought you were someone else! The cavern's fucking dark, okay?!
- Namali
[---]
Woo Namali! Who is it? Was it that hot babe up in 2C? Man, what a pair of legs.
- Skett
[---]
The mailworkers are also reminded to get their minds out of the gutter, please. Remember, small children (aka Link) and adolescents (Prince Komali) read this journal.
- Basht and Bisht
[---]
Besides, that "hot babe up in 2C" is my girlfriend, so don't even think about it.
- Hoskit
PS: Has anyone seen any Golden Feathers? Please? I'm getting desperate!
[---]
Hey, everyone! Have you ever drank the Forest Water from Forest Haven? It's really really good, and refreshing, and energizing, and it makes everything seem brighter, and louder, and it's really awesome! I have a bottle of it!
- Link
[---]
Well, time for our moral of the day: never drink the water from Forest Haven.
At least he's not doing drugs.
- Prince Komali
[---]
Well, was that funnier? I hope so. I can imagine Link being thirsty and drinking some Forest Water, and with its "magical properties"... you just know something bad's gonna happen.
Yes, the Ritos kind of went R-rated here, but what do you expect? They're all men, after all. shrugs It was bound to come to this sooner or later, and as they got more comfortable with the journal...
This one requires a bit of exposition before we get started. See, this is set a year after The Wind Waker (although there are some inconsistencies in the first few chapters). So this means that all of Ganon's minions have moved out of Dragon Roost Cavern, and the Rito population has just moved back in. So there are maybe 50 Ritos living in there (yes, it's a small population). I will be referring to some of these Ritos occasionally from now on, and if they're referred to by name, chances are they're gonna be sub-characters.
So, on with the show!
LINK's high off... something.
[---]
So, how does everyone like their new living quarters? We also remind the mailworkers to get used to living with more Ritos again.
- Basht and Bisht
[---]
Dude, I think Link does drugs. I was minding my own business, staring out into the ocean, when he just attacks me with his hyperness, and we both fall into the water! I was preening my feathers for an hour! This was way over the top, even for him. I'm actually kind of worried.
- Prince Komali
[---]
For once, I have to agree with you. He's high off something, that's for sure. He was bouncing off the walls in here...
But maybe his attack was an attempt to get some from you. C'mon, you know you loved it.
- Skett
[---]
Heh, that's definitely it. He wants you, Komali...
Hey, something just occurred to me. If you think about the pairing, it doesn't quite work... I mean, neither of them seem like the top to take control of things... Sexually, I mean.
- Akoot
[---]
Skett, Akoot, Komali is only 14. Keep the more mature comments to yourselves.
Besides, with the way Link's been acting as of late, Komali would most definitely be bottom.
- Quill
[---]
Wow, this journal has gone to the gutter. Try to keep it at least a little clean?
- Namali
[---]
I hate you all.
- Prince Komali
[---]
Hey, don't worry, you wouldn't be the only gay one around here. Namali tried to snog me the other day.
- Ilari
[---]
Damn it, I told you I thought you were someone else! The cavern's fucking dark, okay?!
- Namali
[---]
Woo Namali! Who is it? Was it that hot babe up in 2C? Man, what a pair of legs.
- Skett
[---]
The mailworkers are also reminded to get their minds out of the gutter, please. Remember, small children (aka Link) and adolescents (Prince Komali) read this journal.
- Basht and Bisht
[---]
Besides, that "hot babe up in 2C" is my girlfriend, so don't even think about it.
- Hoskit
PS: Has anyone seen any Golden Feathers? Please? I'm getting desperate!
[---]
Hey, everyone! Have you ever drank the Forest Water from Forest Haven? It's really really good, and refreshing, and energizing, and it makes everything seem brighter, and louder, and it's really awesome! I have a bottle of it!
- Link
[---]
Well, time for our moral of the day: never drink the water from Forest Haven.
At least he's not doing drugs.
- Prince Komali
[---]
Well, was that funnier? I hope so. I can imagine Link being thirsty and drinking some Forest Water, and with its "magical properties"... you just know something bad's gonna happen.
Yes, the Ritos kind of went R-rated here, but what do you expect? They're all men, after all. shrugs It was bound to come to this sooner or later, and as they got more comfortable with the journal...