Disclaimer: We do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. Stuido Gainax is the brain behind its existence, and we are truly grateful. We are also happy, because Studio Gainax loves us and would never sue someone because they happened to borrow their creations for a non-profitable fan fiction stories.

Scenario: A/U, OOC Shinji, OOC Rei, OOC Kaoru, enough said…

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EVANGELION ZERO

Written by the deadly alliance of King Drako Starwind and Ultima Bigaroh

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Chapter One

September 12th, 2017. Tokyo, Japan. 0710 hours JST, It was a typical day for Shinji Ikari. As usual, the morning was started when Asuka Langley Sohryu barged into his bedroom and slapped him on his head to wake him up.

"Wake up, stupid!" she screamed  into his ears, at the top of her lungs.

"Ow, God Damn it! Why the hell do you keep on doing that?" the young man fiercely replied.

Asuka glared at him. "Idiot, you slept in, again!"

Shinji shrugged it off before rising from his bed. When he did get out of bed, Asuka could see the bulge in his pants.

"I guess you're happy to see me," Asuka implied with a sick grin plastered to her face.

Shinji's abrupt response was, "Yes, I mean... no!" He then remembered something, and appeared to be spacing out at the same time, I almost forgot, mother and father are going to tell us what all the training was for.

For the past several years; Shinji, Asuka (Shinji's FRIEND), Rei Ikari (Shinji's twin sister), and Kaoru Nagisa (Rei's boyfriend), have been in strenuous military training at the A.P.D.F. (Allied Planetary Defense Force) Headquarters.

Asuka noticed he was staring into black space, "Shinji, stop having perverted fantasies about me!"

"I wasn't thinking about you like that, I swear it!"

Asuka glared at him a bit, then winked afterwards. She walked out of his room and left him to get dressed. Naturally, he dressed into his blue A.P.D.F. uniform, which was laying atop of his desk.

After getting dressed, washing his face, and brushing his teeth, Shinji ran outside to greet his friends and sister.

Rei rolled her eyes, "Took you long enough, brother. Stroking your bologna pony, hmm?"

Shinji glared at her. "Whatever, let's go." He thought, God damn bitch.

They hopped into Shinji's Cherry Red, 1974 Mustang Convertible. Asuka, as usual, took shotgun and cranked the car's premium 7.1 channel Dolby Digital audio system up to full blast, playing some an album from some random death metal band that most people label as NOISE. On the other hand, Rei and Kaoru were making out in the back seat.

Shinji, severely irritated, thought to himself, this sucks. Shinji pulled out of the driveway and made way for the A.P.D.F. Five minutes later, Shinji couldn't take it any more. He screamed in bloody rage, "Turn that God damn noise off!" He then turned his attention to the rear-view mirror, at the two passengers who were virtually groping each other. "You in the back, that's fucking gross!" Seeing the rage in his eyes, they did as they were told.

When they got to work some odd minutes later, they went straight to the briefing room.

"Please take your seats," Lead Scientist, Yui Ikari, instructed,  "today you will find out why you have been in training for the past several years. You all know about the asteroid that crashed into Munich, Germany ten years ago, correct?

The children nodded.

Yui went on, "The story about the asteroid was just that, a story. It was analyzed by the A.P.D.F. and we discovered that it was really a alien spacecraft that was shot down by the United States Military."

Asuka burst out in open laughter while the other children were oblivious to what was so funny.

"Asuka, please shut the hell up," Shinji told the redhead, "mother, please go on."

Yui nodded, "we analyzed the spacecraft, and by searching through and compiling their databases, we found out that they planned on attacking Earth in ten years. By replicating the  technology onboard the craft, we were able to construct Evangelions, or simply, EVAs."

"What are EVAs?" Rei inquired.

Yui replied, pointing to a blast shielded window with her left had. Yui, with her left ring finger, pressed a button and the blast shield was raised. They saw seven gigantic humanoid machines.

"Wow, how tall are they?" Shinji asked.

"120 meters," Yui replied. "This is what you have been training for the past several years. You will pilot the EVAs to save the Earth."

The four children found themselves in a moment of eerie silence…

…and After the moment of silence, Shinji spoke up, "mother, I knew the training was for something important. But this… I had no idea!"

Yui continued without replying to her son, "meet the rest of your team."

As if on queue, three other teenagers walked in.

Doctor Yui Ikari introduced the newcomers, "they were trained under the American branch of the A.P.D.F. Their names are Toji Suzuhara, Hikari Horaki, and Kensuke Aida." The seven teens stood up straight and saluted to each other.

Unexpectedly, two attractive, big breasted women walked in. One had violet hair, and the other had blonde hair.

Yui was a little surprised, "Ah, Colonel Misato Katsuragi and Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, how unexpected. Would you mind telling the pilots about the EVA's weapons and functionality?"

Ritsuko replied, "no problem. With the magnum booster drive and the fiber optic entry plug wiring, you will be able to leap over eight story sky scrapers and run at Mach III speeds."

Misato continued, "As for the the weapons, you will be using a multi-purpose Garber for close combat.

Shinji inquired, "what functions does it have?"

Misato replied, "I'm glad you asked that, Ikari. The Garber has four functions.  It can be used as a spear, katana, ax, and can be split into a couple of wakasashis."

Yui replied, "this meeting is over. You are off duty until 1800 hours. We expect to see you then for entry plug training."

Rei asked Asuka, "You wanna hang out at the mall until then?"

Asuka replied, "I have nothing better to do. What about you, new girl?"

Hikari's responded, "Thanks, I would love to."

Kaoru asked Shinji, "You think we should take the new guys to the pub?"

Shinji replied, "Well, the girls are getting together, so we might as well.

Shinji then asked Toji and Kensuke if they would like to go to a pub.

Kensuke inquired, "you're allowed to drink here?"

Shinji answered his inquiry, "not normally. However, we're soldiers. We get to do whatever we want here."

Toji shouts out, "Hell yeah! I could definitely go for a Smirnoff and a shot of vodka right about now."

Kensuke replied, "Sweet!"

Shinji said "well, let's get moving."

"Wait right there, Ikari!" Asuka growled.

"Yeah, yeah, what is it?" Shinji asked.

"We need a ride to the mall!"

Toji asked, "Can you drive?"

Asuka replied, "Of course I can, stooge."

Toji then picked his pocket and drew a set of keys and threw them to Hikari. "As long as Horaki drives, I will trust you to my car."

Hikari blushed, then bowed, "T-thank you, Suzuhara."

*****

Nearly ten minutes later, after wandering the ridiculously long corridors of the A.P.D.F., Shinji and the others finally made it to the parking lot. The males and females said their good byes, then the females head downwards to Toji's car.

Toji asked, "which car is yours?"

Shinji simply replied, "The cherry red car…"

Kensuke was a bit excited, "That's your car? That's a 1974 Mustang, and one hell of a sweet ride!"

Shinji smirked. "thanks, I completely restored it myself."

Kensuke, needless-to-say, was drooling.

*****

At the mall's food court, the females, clad with bags that were more-than-likely stuffed with clothes, stuffed their mouths with some random fast food and having a conversation.

Asuka inquired, "so, how do you like living here in Japan?"

Hikari replied, "Actually, I was born here. However; I only lived in Japan for a month until we moved to the states. Same goes for Aida and Suzuhara. Because I lived in the U.S. so long, I consider it my home. It's nice here, but I miss the U.S. every now and again. You're not from here, are you?"

Asuka replies, "nope, I am from Germany, the greatest country there is!"

Rei muttered, "you'll get used to her after awhile, we all do."

Asuka then growled, "What in the hell do you mean by that? Are you implying that I'm egomaniacal?"

Hikari giggled a bit, then she said, "I think I'm going to enjoy living here after all."

*****

About twenty-eight minutes after leaving the A.P.D.F. compound, the guys arrived at the pub.

The bar tender greeted them, "Yo!"

"Shut the fuck up," Kaoru replied with a sick grin, "you know we don't like you."

Shinji chuckled a bit, then ordered the drinks, "four Smirnoff Ices, a bottle of Absolut Vodka, and four shot glasses."

Kensuke inquired, "do you guys come here a lot?"

Shinji replied, "we sure do. He just acts that way to the bar tender because they are pretty good friends."

Out of the blue, Toji blurted out, "You know, Ikari, your sister is pretty damn fine."

Indeed, Toji has earned a couple of vicious glares from Shinji and Kaoru.

End of Chapter One.

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King Drako's Notes: This is King Drako Starwind, king of the Outlonian Empire, and this is my first collaboration with Ultima Bigaroh. I hope you liked it. We put time and effort into it so it will ensure that it is an excellent series. There will be more chapters in times to come, with surprises around every corner and events that you won't believe. That is all form me for the moment… oh yes, for you little fuck nuts who don't like this, go fuck your little bitch dogs, because that is what you are. Signing off… -KDS

Ultima Bigaroh's Notes: Wow, what a great guy! A noble king, indeed. I have to say, this was a great collaboration (the only collaboration of mine that DOESN'T suck). With his creative and perverse ideas, inevitably, this will be an exciting fan fiction series to work on. By the way, if you like my EVA no More, Gundam Now series, you'll be happy to know that the first lemon side story (two in all) is on my Geocities sub domain. Until next time… -UB