Chapter Two

Seconds after Toji pointed out that Rei was hot…

Koaru was not taking the situation lightly. "You better stay away from her, got it? I'll rip you a new asshole if I see you within 25 meters of her!"

Toji surrendered by raising his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. Let me guess, you two are an item?"

Koaru, still somewhat cross, replied, "Got that right, so you better stay away from her."

Toji considered another prospect. "What about Asuka?"

A few moments passed in awkward silence…

Toji asked again, "So, what about As…"

"…I think she might be in love with Shinji," Kaoru interrupted

Shinji pondered the situation. "I don't think she feels that way at all."

Kaoru asked, "Do you love her though?"

Shinji replied, "I don't know…"

Kensuke said, "You know that Hikari is in love with you. You can get her to do whatever you want."

Toji replied, "I know, I know, but I always wanted to have a threesome with her and another hot girl."

Sweatbeads dripped down the heads of the other guys.

((((S))))

Three hours of drinking and getting to know each other flew by. It was time for the testing…

Shinji, Kaoru, Toji, and Kensuke arrived at the APDF completely drunk. Asuka stormed up to Shinji and screamed, "You dumb ass! Why did you get drunk today? Couldn't you idiots have waited until tomorrow?"

Shinji smiled and reached out for Asuka, grabbing her shoulders and pulled her towards him. Flabbergasted, Asuka looks at Shinji with much curiosity. "What do you think you're doing?"

Shinji replied, drunkenly, "I know you love me, baby! Why don't you stop hiding it, damn it! I mean, I love you Asuka!"

Rei and Kaoru both looked at Shinji with dropped jaws, not believing what he said.

Rei insisted that her brother was not thinking straight, "Asuka, don't believe a word he is saying. He is drunk and acting like an idiot."

Shinji said, "Butt out of this, woman!" He turned his attention back to the redhead. "I love you Asuka, since the first time I saw you!" He asked, "do you love me?"

Asuka paused for a minute to consider this. She replied, 'I love you too, Shinji, I always have."

Toji screamed, "A match made in heaven! We gotta go out and celebrate! Who's up for another round of binge drinking?!"

Shinji told Toji, "Shut the fuck up!" After being interrupted again, he turned his gaze back to Asuka. "I should have told you this long ago. I truly do love you, Asuka Langley Sohryu."

Asuka replied, "Shinji, I am so madly in love with you. I can never stop thinking about you." She tackled him and kissed him all over. His lips, his neck, his chest…

Rei, annoyed, screamed, "Get a room, you hentais!"

Yui came in, not expecting what she saw. "What is going on here?! You are supposed to be in the hangers for testing!"

Kaoru and Toji stumbled over to Yui.

Kaoru drunkenly said, "Asuka and Shinji have declared their love for each other, isn't that so sweet?"

Toji drunkenly said, "You are really pretty!"

Yui was furious, but tried to keep her cool. With a fake smile, she inquired, "Rei, what in the hell is going on?"

Rei answered her inquirey, "These four went drinking, and idiot Shinji finally mustered up enough balls to tell Asuka how he felt about her and vice verca."

Asuka was still kissing Shinji all over.

Yui couldn't handle her rage any longer. "You two quit that right now, God damn it! If you don't stop this non-sense, I'll get guards to escort you out of the base."

Shinji drunkenly stated, "But mom, we're in love!"

Yui asked Rei, "Where is Aida?"

Rei replied, "He's puking out by Shinji's car. Either that, or he's puking inside the car…"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, five gigantic objects fall from the sky. A planetary defense satellite fires pulse lasers at of the objects, hitting it and forcing it to burrow underground. The other four that landed, and four giant mecha's stepped out of the hatches.

Yui yelled, "Everyone, get down to the lower levels, now!"

When they finally got down to the main control room, they find all but Shinji's unit were blocked off from launch because of the fifth object's burrowed state.

Gendo ordered, "We must launch Shinji and his Evangelion to fight them."

Yui sighed, "We can't… he's intoxicated."

A bewildered Gendo yelled, "What?!"

Rei confirmed her mother's statement, "Yep, mother's right. All four of the guys went out drinking…"

Misato came running in. "Shinji has to launch now. We have scanned the enemy units, and we know what classifications they are. We have two close combat units, one heavily armored gun unit, and one long-range sniper type. He needs to launch now. These four alone could do a lot of damage to the earth."

Rei, yet again, said, "He's drunk…"

Aoba said, "Unit 01, prepare to launch!" After all preparations were go, he ordered, "EVA launch!"

Gendo, Yui, and Misato rushed in the control room like a herd of elephants.

Yui and Misato simultaneously asked, "Why is he launching?"

Misato followed up, "He's intoxicated, why didn't someone stop him?"

Kaoru and Toji walked into the control room.

Toji said, "We tried."

Kaoru followed up, "He beat the shit out of us before we could stop him…"

Shinji's com window popped up. "Pilot Ikari here. I'm about to kick some ass!" He saw the longrange sniper type first. Charging at it, it turned around and a second later, it lost its head with Shinji's progressive katana. The next one he went after was the heavily armed one. With its comrade dead, it opened fire on Shinji. Command put up a blockade and a weapon for Shinji. He grabbed the gatling rifle from inside the barricade, and used his jet pack boosters to hover. The enemy unit looked up, but was blinded by the sun's rays. On Shinji's way down, he opened fire, direct hits for every round. After he landed, the heavily armored unit was reduced to scrap metal. He dropped the gatling rifle and draws out his progressive katana and the progressive garber in battle ax mode. The first close unit charged at him with an over head cut, though Shinji blocked it. He struck at it with his battle ax, but the enemy evaded. The second one charged in, and attacked with a side strike. Shinji evaded the strike and thus began the 2-on-1 duel between Shinji and the melee units. They attacked him together, though he evaded or blocked every strike. After two minutes, Shinji yelled, "I'm tired of this fuckin' shit! Prepare to die!" He lunged at the first one, pushing its sword away with his and chopped it up the progressive garber. The second one jumped back before Shinji could cut it in half. It lunged at him, coming straight in with its sword. Shinji evaded it at warp speeds, like a phantom. Simultaneously cutting in half both horizontally and vertically with his progressive katana and garber.

((((S))))

Shinji returned to base. When he stepped out, Yui and Asuka were waiting for him.

Asuka wrapped her arms around him. "You are my hero!" She looked down at his right forearm, and saw it was bleeding.

Ritsuko, on the scene, said, "Let me look at that." She led him to the infirmary.

((((S))))

Everyone waited outside the infirmary, anxious to find out how Shinji was holding up.

Minutes later, Ritsuko came out. Asuka jumped up, "How is he? Is it bad?"

Ritsuko said, "It wasn't too bad, but I figured why it happened. It wasn't because of any damage to his unit, it was because his right arm moved at such incredible speed during the final assault. "

Yui couldn't compute. "How could that be the reason?"

Ritsuko replied, "His body isn't used to that much power and speed. The EVAs work by our bodies limits. When Shinji pushed himself beyond his limits, it literally ripped open the flesh.

The alarm system went off. Gendo's voice was heard over the intercom, "Everyone report to the bridge."

It seems more trouble was on the horizon. When they were on the bridge, Gendo debriefed them on the situation. "Five more units have landed in Paris, France. We have been ordered to take a team there to take them out. Yui, Rei, Koaru, and Kensuke, you will be going with me to Paris. Shinji and the others will stay here incase they attack elsewhere."

Shinji, as arrogant as ever, spoke up, "Fuck this flesh wound, I'll get in my mecha and bust some ass right now!"

Misato said, "Even if you did not injure yourself, you DID damaged the EVA. We must replace the unit's arm first."

((((S))))

Gendo, Yui, Rei, Kaoru, and Kensuke boarded an APDF battle cruiser and headed west for France. Three hours later, they arrived. Rei, Kaoru, and Kensuke dropped out of the cruiser in their units. Before they even hit the ground, Rei took out two units with her sniper rifle.

Rei said, "There's only three left. They are all close combat. Open fire, guys!"

The enemy units took cover. Kaoru, acting like the brave hero, dropped his rifle and charged at him. One of the units tripped him from behind a building. A second one stood up and was about to lunge a sword into his unit's head. Rei shot her round right through the enemy's skull, Kaoru then lunged his garber in lance mode at the other enemy unit.

Rei said, "You owe me one, Kaoru. That means you follow my orders in bed tonight!"

Kensuke, somewhat disgusted, said, "You might not get a chance if we don't kill this last one!"

They spread out, looking for the last enemy unit. Kensuke found it when it charged at him. He opened fire, and blew off one of its legs.  The unit hit the ground and tumbled a half kilometer. Kensuke walked over with his progressive garber, now in katana mode, and decapitated the enemy unit. He said, "The battle is over, I got the last one."

All three of them walked to the airport, where the plane landed. Yui walked out, load your units on to the plane, although we're not leaving until tomorrow.

((((S))))

In Tokyo, Shinji and Asuka were sitting in Shinji's living room. While Toji is getting over his hangover and the beating he received at Shinji's hands. Of course the reliable Hikari nursed him back to health. Shinji and Asuka began to kiss, but then it got out of control, so much that they had to continue the rest in his bedroom. The next morning, Shinji and Toji wake up to the smell of a delicious breakfast. They both walk out of their rooms at the same time, wearing only their boxer shorts. They walked over to the table, and look into the kitchen. They saw their woman fully nude, minus an apron, cooking breakfast. They sat back and waited to be served.

Shinji said to Toji, "I guess we both had a good night last night. Let me rephrase that… we both had an excellent night, last night."

Toji, with a triumphant grin, said, "I'm really glad you had a guest room for us to stay in."

Shinji chuckled, then replied, "I guess we're all just one big family in a way."

((((S))))

In France, Yui walked in on Gendo lying with a French prostitue… She screamed at the top of her lungs, "You're never stepping foot in my house again. This is it! I swear. I will never be with a man again. As of now, I will be a lesbian!" She ran away, crying.

Gendo quickly got up and put his pants on, and ran after her. Kaoru (who overheard) stepped out of his (and Rei's) room, and said, "Leave her alone man, she doesn't want to be near you right now."

Gendo growled, "Get out of my way, now!" He pushed him aside.

Rei ordered, "Stop him, Kaoru!"

Kaoru tackled Gendo and beat the shit out of him.

Kensuke came out of his room and said, "What is going on here?!"

Rei informed him of what happened. Kensuke walked over to Gendo, and helped Kaoru beat him into a bloody mess.

Yui, Rei, Kaoru, and Kensuke returned to Tokyo, leaving Gendo with his whore.

((((S))))

They arrived at HQ. Shinji asked, "Where's dad?"

Rei told him what happened, and everyone looked at Shinji. None one has ever seen him so pissed off before, and of course, they were in fear for their lives. He stormed into his father's office, contacting APDF executives, and demanded that a new leader of the APFD be appointed, or that he will never pilot again.

The executives pondered this decision for over an hour. After reading the report on his battle with four enemy units, they agreed his loss as a pilot was out of the question. They happily fired Gendo and appointed three people to oversee the entire APDF. Shinji asked, "Who are they?"

The head executive replied, "Doctor Yui Ikari, Major Misato Katsuragi, and Doctor Ritsuko Akagi."

Shinji did not complain with their decision. Going to congratulate them all them he first ran into Misato and showed her the papers from the APDF executives. Misato gave him a huge bear hug, a told him, "Good work."

Next, he went to find his mother and Ritsuko. He went into his mother's office, and found his mother and Ritsuko…

…He was not prepared for what he saw.

End Chapter Two.

((((P))))

King Drako Starwind's Notes: Chapter two is where we decided to define this fan fic series. I have to say, this is definetly my best work to date. I have posted much here, but this is definitely my best work. I could not do this great story without Ultima Tech Incorporated. I hope you enjoyed this, I put much time and effort into this, we all did. If you loved this chapter, you will ultimately love the next one. And if you have a problem with my writing, fuck you. If you have a problem with that, come and find me, and I'll beat the shit out of you. Like always, see you next time… -KDS

Ultima Tech Notes: What do you get when you combine the demented talents of the most perverted, psychotic authors on this earth? Why, you get a totally orgasmic, jacked up story of holocaustic proportions, of course! You thought our (Ultima Tech Inc.) stand alone fics were bad? Well, with the KDS additive ingredients, the contents will become four times as perverse and wacked out, kinda like a death metal band composed of apes and prostitutes. Until next time… -UTI