Lee Adama just stood and stared. What in the hell he was looking at – or for – he wasn't sure of. But something about the picture before him just wasn't right, and damn-it he wanted answers.
His father still had arms wrapped around Kara, who was tucked in tight, as though she belonged there. Her arms were pretty snug as well and her forehead was resting against his chest. Before that, he was half-sure his father had been kissing her. Kissing her! Kara!
He wanted answers, and he wanted them now, and if it even occurred to him that perhaps he should have knocked at the hatch to ,his father's quarters, or that both of the people before him were legally of age, he didn't let the thoughts penetrate his fury.
His father leaned slightly forward, whispered something in Kara's ear, and then gave her a visible squeeze before they released one another. Lee just tried to keep his breathing even. Given what he'd just walked in on – at least, what he thought he'd walked in on – he'd be lucky if he didn't have a frakking stroke.
"Good evening," his father said, his tones forced and clearly irritated. What? What in hell did he have to be irritated about, aside from an interrupted liaison that was… disgusting.
"Doesn't look so good from here," Lee told him with a glare at Kara, who was now putting a few items back into a basket that sat on the table. Cozy. Lee had gone out of his way to put an end to the rumors, and then he'd walked right into the middle of one. Shit, he'd even gone to Kara with this. She must be ready to laugh her ass off.
"If you're going to rely on sarcasm, please wait until Kara's gone," his father requested.
"If she can dish it out, then she can take it," Lee replied. He had the pleasure of watching Kara's hands tighten on the handle of the basket, her face a practiced mask of Caprican marble. She looked liked she wanted to say something, but then her eyes went up to his father's – and something went on there, some kind of silent communication that baffled Lee – and she gave a nod.
"Good night," she told them both as she took her basket to the door.
"Wait a minute," Lee cried out as one of the primary targets for his anger prepared to walk out of the room. "You started this, and by the Lords you'll finish it!"
He watched her take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and saw something he'd never really seen before: Kara trying like hell to control her anger. Because that's what was in her eyes. Anger. Absolute, furious, mindless anger. Whether at him, at getting interrupted, or whatever else was going on in her mind, Kara was definitely angry. And his present state, Lee wasn't ready to let her off the hook.
"I promised your dad I wouldn't let you set me off; he doesn't want me losing my flight status over this. But I swear, Lee Adama, that if you don't drop it I'm going to hit you so hard that you don't fly for a month." Her words were soft – deadly soft – and for some reason he believed her. Maybe it was that control. She didn't normally bother with it when he was around.
A small voice in his head told him that he should let her go. He should drop the conversation, let her walk out of there, and then after calming a bit go back to his own room. Unfortunately that small voice was all but lost in the roar of rage that was filling him. "The really hysterical part is that I defended you," he said in outrage. "I told people that the rumors were crap. Hell, I even came to you with them, and you put on this whole surprised act for me."
"The rumors aren't true, Lee," she said softly. "I'm not sleeping with your father; I'm having dinner with him."
"Now you eat standing up in a clinch?" Lee asked with raised eyebrows.
"That was… something else," she admitted.
"No shit," he said, his voice coming down in pitch to match hers, regardless of the continuation of his anger. "Just what in hell are you doing? Working your way through the Adamas one at a time?"
He never saw the fist coming. Maybe it was because he was looking at Kara, and maybe it was that his father was still faster on his feet than any man had a right to be. But he felt the impact, the spread of pain from the right side of his face to the back of his head and beyond. His head hit the door, thankfully closed or he would have been in the hallway from the force. As it was, he was still standing, and he was more than ready to take on his father. The betrayal was biting deep, and a physical outlet for the emotions would be welcome. But before he could martial any defense for himself, Kara had placed herself between him and his father, and by the Lords he couldn't bring himself to hit a woman in the back.
"Stop," she shouted. "This is enough. He doesn't understand. Fine. Hitting him won't make him understand."
"I will not stand here and let him…"
"Say what anyone else would under the same circumstances," she suggested with resignation. "He's your son, Bill. He deserves an explanation, not an attack. And yes, I'm as pissed off at him right now as you are, but as much as I'd love to hit him, I won't be a wedge between the two of you again. I've had enough of that."
Lee watched as some of the anger left his eyes, focused now on Kara. It made Lee even angrier, but he had the feeling that if he took a step towards his father Kara just might lay him out. He didn't have any illusions about beating her in a fight.
"Why did you come by, Lee?" she asked, and most of the fury was gone from her tone. Where it had bled off to, he had no idea. Perhaps he had siphoned it away, because he was getting madder by the moment.
"Like you care," he muttered.
"Stop acting like a child and just answer the question," his father snapped.
"Or what? You'll hit me again?"
"I'd smack you for speaking to any woman that way," the eldest Adama clarified. "But no, I don't have any immediate plans to hit you."
Kara tossed her bag over by the door, wincing at the crunch of something breaking as she did so, and then walked back into the room and took the largest of the seats by the table. "Sit down, both of you," she said. "Great Lords, I've become a negotiator. The world is ending."
Lee tried not to feel the humor, but it was there. He had to look stupid still leaning against the wall, his face likely wearing the same stunned expression that it had since he'd felt fist connect with cheek. Shit, he was going to have a shiner. One more story to explain. It was only the second time in his life that his father had hit him, and the first had been as well deserved as this. Still, he didn't have to like the feeling.
His father moved around the table and nudged Kara over on the wide seat, taking up a defensive position between the pilots. Lee couldn't blame him. He wanted to hit something himself, and the fact that Kara hadn't already done so was a miracle in and of itself. Lee took the remaining seat, smaller than the one Kara and his father shared. They were close, but not touching. What the frak was going on?
"I came because it was your birthday," Lee muttered, finally answering the question Kara had asked moments before but directing the answer to his father. He rubbed his hands over his aching face. Lords, that had hurt. "You know, family duty and all."
His father shook his head, and a small smile crept to his face as he looked at the woman between them. "So did Kara," he said simply. "She brought dinner, and then we danced. That was all. It was one of your mother's favorite songs, and I missed her. There was nothing more suggestive than that going on."
"You were kissing her," Lee argued, but the certainty was leaving his voice and he was floundering as the bottom fell from beneath what he thought was a solid offensive. He really didn't know what was going on. He wasn't sure he wanted to. He sounded like a sullen little boy, even to himself. Why did he always feel like a child in this one man's presence?
"On the forehead," Kara reminded him. "Probably as a thank-you for the dinner."
"And the dance," his father clarified. "It's been a long time since I've held a beautiful woman. It was nice. It deserved a gesture of thanks for her putting up with an old man."
"You aren't old," Kara argued, elbowing the eldest Adama in the ribs. And then it was back, that look between them, that understanding that belied everything they were telling him. They weren't acting like friends, or even family. Or were they? Hell, it had been so long since he'd felt that he had either one that Lee just didn't know.
"I'm not young," William Adama sighed. "And I'm sorry, Lee. Violence isn't the answer to anything, regardless of the provocation, at least not within families. I resented the insinuations, and I will not tolerate your insulting those who don't deserve it. Are we clear?"
"Yes, Sir," Lee muttered, feeling once more like the six year old who had knocked down the little neighbor girl because she'd taken his ball and wouldn't give it back.
"Okay," his father acknowledged on a released breath. "First and foremost, there is nothing going on between Kara and myself except for friendship. She was insubordinate enough to refuse to acknowledge that any birthday celebration should be ignored, and that's the end of it. It was a beautiful gesture, from a beautiful woman."
Lee shook his head. "That's the second time you've called her that," he commented. "And I'm supposed to believe there's nothing going on?"
"Lee…" Kara began, but she didn't go anywhere with the thought.
"I say it because it's true, and because she doesn't hear it often. I've been in squadron quarters for enough years to know what is said there, and as much as she pretends otherwise, Kara is still a woman." He winked at the woman in question. "Right?"
"Depends on who you ask," she said with a grin.
Lee felt some of the tension in the room dissipate. The reminders that rumors were simply fabrications had been just what he needed to bring him back to reality. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," he finally said. "Between what I'd been hearing and what I saw…"
"You assumed the worst," Adama said with a sigh and a rub to his face that was very characteristic of his son. Or did it go the other way; did Lee act like his father? The thought didn't bring comfort.
"Lee, I'm your best friend," Kara said softly, reaching for one of his hands. "If I were in any kind of a relationship with anyone, don't you think that you'd be the first to know?"
He hadn't thought of that. He'd been so busy seeing his father with another woman that it had slipped his mind for a moment that the woman in question was a friend; not just a pilot, but a friend. And she was one whom he had just insulted royally. "What I just said," he began.
She didn't let him finish. "You paid for," Kara said with a smile. "And I couldn't have done it better myself. You really need to get some ice on it."
"I'll live," he grudgingly acknowledged. "But I have to ask. I'm not accusing," he added quickly, because he wasn't. His anger had dissolved, leaving only the exhaustion that followed the adrenaline rush. "You have to agree that it looks… suspicious. Your having dinner together in the mess hall, and now in his quarters." He turned his glance to his father. "You do realize that people are going to talk. Unless you plan on punching half the fighters in fleet, you may want to be a little more… hell, I don't know. Discreet isn't right because there's nothing going on. But, I'm not the only one who's going to think that there is. Especially with the way you compliment her," he added with a pointed glance at his father.
Kara had blushed at the last. "Isn't she beautiful?" his father asked simply, honest curiosity on his face.
"Well…" Lee thought about it. Sure, Kara was pretty. She always had been. No, she wasn't all tall and curvy, but it was just as well. She wouldn't be able to handle a Viper if she'd been a centerfold. She needed the upper body strength that she'd built, and if the workouts assuring her fitness also kept her body looking pretty damned good, then that was just a bonus. Yeah, she was nice enough to look at – green eyes and a wide smile, and a face that could tell you what she was thinking before she even knew – but it wasn't something you just… said. Or was it?
"Thanks," Kara said dryly.
Lee shook his head quickly, flipping his hand over in hers to squeeze the hand that had been holding his. "I didn't mean you're not," he said, wondering if he was going to get punched again. "I just don't think about you that way."
"I may not have the eyesight to fly," his father told Kara with a wink – and another of those shared looks that made Lee so nervous. "But I can recognize beauty. If there's one thing I learned from your mother, Lee, it's that you can't take people for granted. If someone is lovely, they need to hear it. Often. If someone is out of line, you need to tell them immediately. And if someone is special to you, then the consequences really aren't all that significant. The crew can say what they like; I've had too few friends in recent years. I won't give up those that I have."
As Kara reached out with her free hand to give his father's arm a squeeze, Lee felt a wash of guilt. How many friends did his father really have? There was Tigh, just about the only person besides himself who would tell him what he really thought. Gaeta did as he was told, as did most of the crew. Kelly had the occasional meal with his dad, but Lee couldn't remember hearing the man refer to him as anything except "Sir." Kara called his father by his first name, she shared meals and holidays with him, wasn't that what friends did? And why in hell did they have to justify that, to him or to anyone.
Lee supposed that he hadn't noticed because he had so few real friends himself. He had Kara, of course, assuming he hadn't messed that up tonight. He had a couple of contemporaries in other areas of service – medical and command – but they didn't really get together except for necessary functions. Mostly, he relied on Kara's listening ear and often amazing advice. She might not think before she acted most of the time, but when she did think the outcome was pretty accurate. And she thought his dad needed someone.
"You're right," Lee said softly. Then, looking at Kara pointedly, he added, "on all counts. We don't live in a world where we can just assume that others know what we're thinking."
Lee reached up and rubbed a hand over his face. He was gritty from work, having come here directly from shift, and he needed a shave. He was also tired, and mentally exhausted. The drop from the adrenaline rush didn't help matters any.
"You look tired," his father said in an almost gentle voice, as though moments before he hadn't been yelling, lecturing, and hitting his son. Lee had had it coming, but that didn't take the sting from his cheek.
"Long shift," Lee admitted. "I just wanted to drop something by before I went to bed. You were off the ship before shift started, and I didn't get much of a break. Half my fleet is torn down. Lords, if we have a Cylon attack now we're sitting ducks."
"We didn't have a choice," Adama told him. "With the flaw Tyrol found in the fuel conversion system, it was a matter of time before we lost every one of the Mark II Vipers. They weren't designed to run on Tylium, at least not this high a concentration. We're damned lucky only one exploded before we found the flaw."
"I know," Lee admitted. "I just hate knowing we're… vulnerable."
"How long until I'm back in the air?" Kara asked.
"We'll have them done by the end of the week. "They're having to redesign as they go. We don't have the parts for the fusion systems that the VII's have, so we're going from scratch. If Tyrol wasn't so damned creative, we couldn't manage it at all."
"He is a wonder," Kara said as she gave Lee's hand a squeeze before releasing it. It gave him a bit of comfort that she did the same thing to his father's at the same time. "But he's a pain in the ass if you mess with his birds. If I'm gonna be on shift tomorrow, then I need to get to sleep.
"Thank you for the day," William said as he stood. Lee did the same; manners identical to his father's, if a little old fashioned. "It was pretty incredible. I'll remember it for a long time."
"Happy birthday, Bill," she replied, kissing him on the cheek and giving him a quick hug before heading to the door and grabbing her bag. When she picked it up and heard the clinking inside, she winced. "Next time I'll bring metal cups," she said with a wink. Then with a glance at Lee she added, "and a chaperone."
He shook his head with a smile, then walked over to the door. Quietly, he told her, "Thanks for taking care of him."
She shook her head. "It was mutual, Lee. Everyone needs a friend. I think I needed to do something for him just as much as he needed it done." She gave a lopsided grin. "That doesn't make a bit of sense."
"It does," he argued. "And… I'm sorry. Still. Again. You know I'm an asshole some days."
"Yeah, you are," she agreed with a smile. "But then, so am I. Don't keep him up too late."
"I won't." Then, as she turned and opened the hatch, he stopped her with a hand to her arm. "Kara?"
"Hmm?" she asked, turning back.
He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. "You are beautiful," he told her softly. "Inside and out."
Kara blushed. Lee had to smile as he watched color creep up from her chest to her forehead, hiding the miscellaneous freckles that he normally could see. If this was the response his father normally got, then it was no wonder that the older man complimented her so frequently. It was fun.
As she left the room, Lee closed the door and turned to see his father over at the coffee pot.
"Want some?" his dad called. "It's the real thing; one of my presents from Kara."
"Real coffee?" Lee asked as his eyebrows moved upwards. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a treat. "She went all out, didn't she?"
"She did," Adama said thoughtfully. "Which is odd, now that I think of it. She hates holidays. She avoids them like a plague, but she insisted on this."
"I didn't get quite that fancy," Lee admitted. "But I do have something for you."
"That's not necessary," his father began.
Lee cut him off. "Under the circumstances, I'd say it is. I didn't have a lot with me when I wound up here; you know that. "I tend to horde what I do have. But I wanted… I thought you might like this."
Lee extended his hand, the gift hidden carefully inside. He'd been keeping it in his pocket during the near-fight and subsequent discussion. If it hadn't been for all the talk about what Kara had done, he likely would have forgotten about it.
William Adama put his hand out, and his eyes widened slightly as he felt the warm metal slide from his son's hand into his own. The older man looked from the long chain to the gold tag attached to it. He didn't say a word.
"I used to carry them for luck," he said softly. "Maybe I'm just dumb about that kind of thing. Anyway, I ran across them in some things I was going through. I kept one for Kara, too. I thought she might… well, anyway, happy birthday.
"Thank you," he said as he looked at the dogtag inscribed with the name Zak Adama and the miscellaneous information that was requisite for the tags. His father's words seemed genuine.
"You mentioned coffee?" Lee asked hopefully.
His father's grin let him know that he wasn't out of line. "Let me get it.
The two of them were seated at the table several moments later, drinking coffee and loving it, neither saying a word. Lee couldn't remember the last time he and his father had done this: just sat. There was nothing pressing to call their attention from the moment, and regardless of the altercation moments before there was little stress between them. There wasn't much in this life that coffee couldn't fix.
"I'm sorry," his father said softly.
Lee reached up to touch the tender skin around his eye, which had swollen more than the cheek itself and was hurting more. Kara had been right that he should have gotten some ice.
"Not just for that," his father added. "For… not explaining. I guess I wanted to keep her for myself just a little longer."
"Her? Kara?" Lee was confused.
The half-shrug didn't tell him much, but his averted eyes did. William Adama had never been one to hedge, so he wasn't all that good at it. "She's a special woman," he said softly. "And if you want to know the truth, if I were thirty years younger, then I might think of her a lot differently."
Lee smiled. "I can see where you'd be… attracted. She does have an energy about her. Flying with her is like skirting an abyss. You just never know when she'll take you over it, and into something you're just not ready for."
"You worked with her at the academy?" his father asked.
Lee frowned. His father knew the answer to that. "We were friends there, too. We taught opposite one another, though. She taught actual flight and I taught theory."
"Has she always…"
"What?"
His father shrugged again. "Was she always this intense, or did it come from losing Zak. I didn't know her well before, but since I've spent time with her I see such a need to… I can't explain it. The only humor I usually see in her is pure sarcasm, and she has a guard that she never really lets down."
"She's always protected her feelings," Lee admitted. "Like I said, we were friends, but little more until she started dating Zak. At first I was on them about it. I mean, she was older than he was, and there was the whole issue of fraternizing with the students. But she wasn't teaching any of his classes directly, so it wasn't really a problem. At least, I didn't think it would be."
"Did she enjoy teaching?"
Lee shrugged. "She seemed to," he said, taking another sip of the coffee and savoring it for a moment. "She doesn't do much half-way. She was pretty much a hard-ass though; didn't take any shit from the students. A lot of the students were pure hell to reason with, a few of the instructors too if it came to that. A number off them pushed her for dates. That much got better after she and Zak linked up. She didn't seem to trust the men very much. I never made a pass, so I think she tolerated me more than most. Well, that and Zak made her hang around with me. But yeah, I think she liked to teach. She hated the shit some of the brats put her through, but the teaching itself was fine."
"I just wondered," his father said thoughtfully. "She doesn't seem to enjoy very much lately. I wondered if we might initiate a flying program to get some of the weaker pilots up to snuff. Do you think she'd be interested in that?"
"You'd have to ask her," he said with a shrug.
"I was just wondering."
Lee was quiet a while longer, enjoying the coffee and the undemanding presence of his father. He rarely felt comfortable with his dad. For two years he had been beyond horrible, and the fact that his actions had been based on misunderstanding didn't take away the fact that even if he'd been right, he wouldn't have been justified. A part of him had always wondered if his anger towards his father had been one of the factors in his mom's decision to leave. Lords, he hoped not. But at the time it would have seemed a reasonable concession. He wouldn't have cared; not at all.
Lee and Zak had been a set growing up. Although they had been a few years apart, they had shared many of the same interests and abilities. Both had loved sports, although Zak had played for fun whereas Lee had played to win, and both had made good grades. Lee had studied like crazy, but the learning came easily for Zak. It had been the same with girls. Zak had found women to be yet another toy to play with, whereas Lee got so caught up in the "respect" issue that he found it difficult even to ask a girl on a date. As a result, once at the Academy Zak had been the Adama with the friends, and Lee had been the Adama with the workload. It hadn't had a thing to do with their actual responsibilities, but rather their outlook.
With their parents, they faced the same differing views. If Zak wanted a hug, or wanted to play, he merely crawled up on Mom or Dad's lap and asked. Lee generally hovered in the background, unnoticed until the game was underway and Zak invited him in.
There were certain people in life that others seemed to gravitate towards, and Zak had been one of those. At his funeral, there had been standing room only. Lee in his more bitter moments had wondered if anyone would have shown up to his. He could almost picture his parents and Kara sitting there in an empty church. There was an old analogy between military assignments and placing one's finger in water… ripples were made going in and coming out, but there was no great change in contents, and afterwards little was left to show the finger's presence. Lee felt that way about his life. He had thought the importance of being CAG would alleviate his feelings of inadequacy, but if anything the dislike from his pilots had made it worse. Now he was apart not only by personality but also by position. You couldn't befriend those you worked with; it didn't work. And yet hadn't he done that with Kara? Hadn't his father?
"Those thoughts don't look… happy," his father commented.
Startled from his self-exploration, Lee startled. "They weren't," he admitted. Then, he decided that if they had something in common, they could at least benefit from it. "Dad, I know that you can't really socialize with those you command, but how do you… sometimes it seems…"
"Damned lonely?" his father asked.
"Yeah," Lee admitted.
"You have a lot of options," Adama said thoughtfully. "There are a dozen other Captains on the ship; you could socialize with any of them. Then there are those subordinates who are not in your chain of command, such as the medical or technical departments. Or you can just pitch the rules and take your friends where you find them and to hell with it. I prefer the latter approach, honestly."
"You don't have a lot of options," Lee sympathized. "I guess I hadn't thought about it. I've spent so much time… just working, that I didn't think a lot about friendship. I didn't think about a lot of things."
"At first all any of us thought about was surviving," his father admitted, setting down his now empty cup. "But there's more to life. I heard you went on a date not long ago."
"Um… yeah."
"I take it that it didn't go well?"
Lee gave a sheepish grin. "She was a little… grabby. Maybe it's old fashioned, but I don't think jumping into bed on the first date is a bright move, end of the world or not."
William Adama grinned. "So your mother's influence had some effect after all," he mused. "You're right, though. Sex for the sake of sex is pretty meaningless. You need the emotion that goes with it, the closeness. I mean, physically it doesn't matter. But if you're going that direction, you can make things a lot less complicated by taking a couple of extra minutes in the shower and managing the situation yourself."
"Is that what you do?" Lee asked, wondering if his father would answer; wondering if he should have even asked, regardless of the opening. Some things you just didn't talk to your parents about, but Lee didn't really have anyone else who understood.
"When necessary," Adama said with a ruddy blush. "As you get… older, it's not something that's an issue all that often. Hate to tell you that; I'm sure it's not what you want to hear."
"What, that sex drive diminishes with age?" Lee asked. "That's not the mystery of the decade."
The older let go with a laugh that sounded rusty and unused. "Lords, when I was your age, though. Let's just say I wasn't discriminating until I met your mother and leave it at that."
"Sounds like Zak," Lee mused, then clarified. "He dated right, left, and sideways up until he met Kara. Then it was just the two of them; it was a love you could touch. He was different when he was around her. Better, I guess. More focused. And the look on his face… it was as though he was walking on the sun."
"That's rare," Adama agreed. "And worth waiting for. Is that what you're worried about? Not finding that kind of love?"
"Well, with the world as it is, the options aren't limitless. Sometimes it concerns me. I mean, I've seen marriages of duty and dedication," he said, lowering his eyes so he didn't have to look at his father. His parents' marriage had seemed little more than that. "I want more than that. I want what Zak had. If he had it; Lords, it was so long ago, I don't know how much was real and how much I've made up."
"It was real," William said softly. "A love you could touch. That's exactly what it was. I was scared to death when he called and said he was engaged, and when I got her name I was petrified. Kara was pretty well known, even outside the academy. She was a hotshot and a daredevil, and she wasn't known for following the rules. But the minute I saw them together, everything changed. Your mother and I picked them up from the airport, and she looked so nervous. She held onto his hand for dear life, and even forgot to let go when she went to shake my hand. Your mother and I thought it was funny, but she was mortified. You can see every thought she has on that face; I have no clue how she's so damned good at cards – she bluffs like a master. Anyway, once we'd been introduced we went to wait on luggage, and Zak pulled her aside. He put his arms around her and… I can't explain it. It was as though he gave her strength, and she gave it right back. It was amazing. Lords, it had been years since Iilya and I had been that way, and it made me miss it so much."
"You… had that with Mom?" Lee asked softly.
William nodded, giving a soft smile. "At first," he admitted. "I loved her more than flying. I even stayed grounded for a year or so, until you were born, but then she told me to go and fly. She said I was dying without it, and she was right. Once I was back in the air, the family didn't feel real. Then when I was on leave, the Service didn't seem real. It was like being two different people, and I didn't like either one. Gradually I spent more and more time with the one just to keep my sanity. I chose to fly, and I'll always wonder if I chose wrong. I lived to fly, and I enjoy command, but that was never fair to Iilya. It was worse after Zak was born because then she needed help, and I wasn't there to give it to her."
"When did we stop being a family?" Lee asked, his voice just over a whisper.
"When we stopped trying to be one," Adama answered. "Love… isn't a feeling. It's an act of will. It's not easy, or fun. Lords, it's work, and worth every moment of it, but that doesn't make it any less difficult. Somewhere in the fray, we just… stopped trying. I went back to the service, you and Zak moved away, and your mother needed someone who was willing to work with her, be with her."
"Are you ever sorry?"
His father smiled sadly. "Every day," he said quietly. "But mostly, when I look at Kara. She is so much like your mother, Lee. Beautiful yes, but so much more. She cares so much, and she does her best to hide it. Tonight she danced with me, nothing more. But Lee, do you know how long it's been since I just held someone? Just… stood, and swayed, and enjoyed the warmth of a woman in my arms. Kara and I aren't involved, and we wouldn't be even if it weren't for the age issue. I could never marry another when I have this ship to command. But she makes me wish… maybe that I didn't feel this way. It's hard to explain."
"She makes you want your family back," Lee suggested.
"Most assuredly that."
Lee looked at the brown remnants in his cup. The coffee was gone. His eye was throbbing, his body was starting to itch, and he needed to get some sleep. "It's time to head out," he told his father. "I have mid-watch tomorrow again, but I can never sleep once they're moving around in quarters."
"You'll get used to it," his father assured him.
"Maybe. Good night, Dad. And… happy birthday."
"It was," Adama said softly. "The first happy one in a long while."
The eldest Adama walked his son to the door, then stood there and waited with him for a moment. Lee got the feeling they weren't finished.
"Son?" he asked finally.
"Hmm?"
"I never ask this of my pilots, and it's not fair to ask you…"
"What?"
"Kara," he said on a whisper. "Take care of her," he requested. "She flies like a demon out of hell, and she can fight her way through a Cylon barrage, but she has no defenses against people. She says the rumors don't hurt her, but… she's done a hell of a lot for your old man. And in my position, all I can do is order them to leave her alone. That would make things worse, not better. At your level, you can be there for her, keep the rumors within reason. She's softer than she seems."
"I know," Lee said, looking down. "I need to apologize to her again."
His father grinned. "Just looking at your face is apology enough," he said. "I really am sorry."
"It sounds like we all are," Lee decided.
"A sorry bunch; that's us."
Lee watched his father for a moment more, then leaned forward to put an arm awkwardly around his father's shoulders. Moments later, the hug was returned with a force that was just shy of painful. They held one another for a long time, then Adama released his son and turned away, clearing his throat before speaking. "Have a good night."
"You too, Dad," Lee told him, clearing his throat quietly, hoping his father didn't notice.
Then Lee headed towards quarters. As much as he wanted a shower – and clean clothes, and to put some ice on his face – what he needed more was to find Kara and apologize for what he'd said, what he'd thought, and so much more.