William Adama raised his hand to indicate silence as he approached the brig's desk clerk. Normally quiet, on this occasion the salute received was both silent and without extraneous movement. Without words, the commander gestured to the cell release that was positioned beneath the guard's desk and received a smile. He heard the click of the door before he was even in fully in the room.
He'd been here before. Lords, he couldn't even count the number of times he'd come to this room to find out what Kara had done – from her perspective – and to try to talk her into an apology for her actions. Once or twice he'd even been called into a headmaster's office to find out just what Zak had done – this time – to violate some rule or regulation. It was something that he'd come to expect. When you were responsible for someone, whether your troop or your child, you had to take the bad with the good.
But never had he seen Lee lying on a brig cot, one arm over his eyes to keep the bright lighting from bothering him, and the other laid carefully at his side with white bandages all to obvious against his darker skin. Lee had never been a discipline problem. Ever. He knew every rule, and he followed them with a near-religious faithfulness. He relied on the book, and was the embodiment of calm when those around him lost their way. So what in hell was he doing in the brig?
Rather than saying anything, William opened the door of the cell and stepped through. Lee still hadn't moved. He finally got a response from his son when he took a seat at the edge of the cot. It wasn't a startled response as he would have expected from the man he'd thought was sleeping, but rather a tired acknowledgement that he'd done wrong.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
William had to smile, and he responded with the same question that he'd had for either Kara or Zak in similar circumstances. "That you did it, or that you got caught?"
Lee lifted his head to face him, blue eyes unusually quiet, and expression flat. "Both," he said simply. "Violence isn't the answer to anything. I know that. I screwed up. And what's worse is that my team needs to be able to trust their CAG, not fear him. I destroyed six months of work in a few blows. So, yes, I'm sorry I did it."
"Then why did you do it?" he asked his son gently. There was enough self-recrimination in his voice to manage anyone; William saw no reason to pile on more guilt when Lee had done such a spectacular job himself.
Lee took a deep breath, then put his head back down and returned his arm to his eyes as though he couldn't look at his father for the answer. "Aames was hassling Kara. She hadn't been in the room for five minutes, she looked like shit, and he wouldn't let up. Normally I let her manage it herself, but she looked so damned tired that I stepped in. He challenged, and I hit him. That's it."
"What did Kara do?" William asked. "Aside from paging me from CIC before the marines could report it to me.
Lee slid his arm up to his forehead and met his father's eyes again. "Nothing," Lee admitted. "She just… stood there."
"Did it bother her?"
Lee shrugged. "I guess. She told him to drop it; he didn't. I made him."
William thought about that for a moment. "She's a strong woman," he commented, almost idly. "Very capable of managing her own battles, and she's been doing it for a long time."
"I know that," Lee muttered. "I just wasn't thinking about it at the time. I wasn't thinking at all."
"I know the feeling." Lee gave him a questioning glance, then his father reached forward to trace the yellow shadow that had once been a bruise under his son's eye. "When you care for someone, it's easy to be defensive," he said gently.
Lee shook his head. "It wasn't what he said," Lee corrected. "It was that she wasn't even arguing."
"Should she have?" At Lee's intense look, William clarified. "Would it have made any difference at all if she'd told him off, or hit him, or whatever?"
With a sigh, Lee admitted, "It never has before. Hell, it never even got to me before. We laughed it off."
"So what was different this time?"
Lee gave a sigh. "This time it felt… personal."
"Why?"
"Because it was," Lee snapped back, and William had to smile at finally weeding through the fact to find the emotion beneath. "She deserves better than that, and frak I'm almost ready to give her my room and take her bunk just so she doesn't have to deal with those creeps."
William smiled a moment longer. "It would make a statement," William admitted. "But I don't think it's the one you want to make, and it's certainly not entirely a statement that Kara would accept. Are you implying that she can't take care of herself?"
"I'm saying that she's earned respect from every man and woman in that bay," Lee ground out. "It's not a matter of rank or position, or even the fact that she's saved this ship more times than I can count. It has to do with the fact that she'd die for any of them, and the best they give her back is talking behind her back, speculating about her sex life, and criticizing her choice of friends." Lee lifted his head again to pin his father with an icy cold gaze. "Not a damned person asked if she was okay. No one asked what they could do to help, or if she needed anything, or if… Dad, it was like they don't care anything about her. I don't understand that. I'm sorry; I don't. I can't figure out why they don't care. Hell, it's almost a surprise that they came after us!"
William placed a hand on his son's shoulder, encouraging him to lie back. "First of all, Kara is very well liked, both in her squadron and outside it. There were likely few offers to help because she would have snapped at anyone who made them. She's exceptionally independent, and the best way to serve her needs is to do, rather than to ask. She'll accept what's already done, but she won't agree if you offer to help her. Remember the old saying; it's better to beg for forgiveness than ask permission." Lee's eyes closed, but William went on. "Second, Kara has been dishing out her own fair share of insinuation and joking since she's been aboard the Galactica. Yes, she's a target now, but that just shows how well accepted she really is. Her squad is comfortable harassing her, even when she's been sick. Probably especially when she'd been sick, because it reassures her that she's okay and that life is normal, or getting there. Finally, even if the insinuations were out of hand, she's capable – more than capable – of fending them off in her own way and her own time. She's done it for years, and she's earned the right. She doesn't need anyone to fight her battles for her, and doing so will only undermine the respect that she's worked for."
"And this explains why you hit me?" Lee asked bitterly.
William smiled at that, and then noted that his son wasn't looking at him and let the smile fade. "That was a mistake," he admitted. "On many counts, all of which I've listed, but more so because I'm your commanding officer as well as your father." William rubbed his hands over his face as he searched for the words that he hadn't been able to find for the emotions that had hit him that night. "The last place in the world I expected to hear condemnation was from you, so it took me off guard. The remark was also unacceptably intended to hurt; not joke or tease, Lee – you went for the kill. No, I shouldn't have done it, but in the same circumstances I'd likely do it again. I've taught you to respect any woman more than that."
"Mom did," Lee said softly, but there was no accusation in the words, for which William was grateful. "You weren't around enough to teach me anything except to love planes."
"Point taken," William granted. "But the bottom line is that you knew better, and you did your best to hurt a dear friend."
"I know. And I've tried…"
"You've succeeded in making it up to her," William interrupted. "For that matter – knowing you – she didn't really take offense in the first place because she didn't believe you'd try to hurt her. I didn't either, if it came to that, but still…"
"Hit first and think later," Lee said ruefully. "We've been around her too long."
William laughed at the statement, not bothering to stress that he'd spent two more years in the woman's presence than his son had.
They were silent for a long while, and then Lee asked quietly, "How much trouble am I in?"
William couldn't hold back a sigh. "That depends on how difficult Lieutenant Aames decides to be," he admitted. "He's in Life Station for the moment, so I came here first. He would lose a lot of standing with the squad if he admitted that his CAG – the quiet, by the book CAG – beat the daylights out of him. On the other hand, getting you out of the lineup would put Starbuck in the position, and I don't think he'd want that happening any more than being labeled a loser in the fight. As it is, you both drew blood, and we can probably convince him that it's in everyone's best interest to withhold charges and accept some extra duty as a penalty for violating regs. I don't see this going to court martial any more than when any other two officers fight. It's conduct unbecoming, yes, but it's a long way from treason. As a matter of fact, if you'd both been of the same rank, or if he'd not been under your command, then we wouldn't be having this discussion at all. He was insubordinate and you were inappropriate – those charges are just about equal. Extra duties and probation will likely end the situation."
Lee let out a breath of clear relief. "Beats the hell out of the Astral Queen," he muttered.
"Granted. And I wasn't looking forward to using my rank to clean this up. I would have," he reinforced, "Because I need my CAG. You're too damned good at your job to lose because of some squadron stupidity."
Lee smiled at that, and the relief in his expression intensified before fading altogether into a serious, direct glare. "You talked to Kara?" he asked.
"Briefly. Long enough to find out what happened and where you were."
Lee nodded thoughtfully. "How did she sound?" he asked tentatively.
"Furious," William said with a grin. "Although I couldn't peg whether it was at you, at the situation, or because you'd been hauled off by the marines. She was definitely angry though. The majority of her profanity was directed at Lieutenant Aames, though, so I'd say that's a good sign."
Lee allowed himself a smile. "She's not going to let me live this down," Lee said fervently.
"Why this time?" William asked softly. "Now, don't tell me it was because she wasn't at her best; I'm not buying it. I can count on one hand the fights you've been in over the years, and all of them were with Zak over things that were very important. This is more than unlike you. What in hell did he say to her?"
"It's not important," Lee hedged.
"Son?"
Lee looked up at that, probably reacting to the knowledge that this was his father asking, not his commander. "She told him to drop it," Lee said thoughtfully. "He was saying something about how our conduct while freezing to death was… inappropriate. She was tired, and she told him that, and she asked him to drop it. Dad, you know her. She loves a fight; if she was too tired to battle, then she had to be miserable. I didn't plan to hit him; I just wanted him to leave her alone and let her get some rest. So I told him to drop it, he pretty much said that I gave her special treatment, and when I asked him again to leave her alone he told me to make him." Lee grinned. "I did."
William Adama smiled. "What happened on the shuttle?" he asked gently. That appeared to be what had set Lee off, so it seemed a good place to start finding out where something had shifted.
"The engine blew," Lee said. "She ran a diagnostic, figured we needed to go into shut-down mode and wait, and then we did."
"That was in the report," William said softly. "What happened?"
Lee sighed. "I'm not entirely sure. We stayed by the back wall while it was warm, which wasn't long. She slept a bit, and then we talked. It was so cold, so we got close and covered up. We… couldn't breath, couldn't get warm. She just lay in my arms and shivered. She kept me warm enough, but I couldn't do anything for her except hold her, and listen. We were that way for hours, and then I woke up in Life station."
"And the first thing you did was ask about her," William said softly.
"I was in command," Lee told his father, but clearly he was averting his eyes to do so. "She was my responsibility."
"By that definition, so was Lieutenant Aames," his father remarked. "Try again."
Lee shook his head. "I really wish I knew," he admitted. "But somewhere in between holding her and thinking I was going to lose her… Dad, it was like losing Zak or Mom, only this time I felt responsible for it. It was like a part of me…" He broke off, shaking his head. "Dad?"
"Hmm?"
"When you… were you and Mom friends before you… I mean…"
"Before we were lovers?" his father finished. With a blush on his cheeks, Lee nodded. "Yes," he answered. "Very good ones; and better than we were after we were married, but that was my fault. I was on shore leave when we met and courted, and yes she was a dear friend by the time I proposed. If she had known I would get my own command… Well, it doesn't matter. She gave me you and Zak, so we must have done something right somewhere along the line."
Lee smiled at that. "You miss her?"
William thought of his beautiful Iilya. Blond, flowing hair, blue eyes, and that quirky smile that she'd passed on to their eldest son. "More than the Colonies," he admitted. "Even after the divorce, she was still there. We still talked occasionally, and I knew she was just… there. Some days the only way I make it through is to… pretend that she's just too busy to return a call. I know that sounds silly, but…"
"I know," Lee said, his voice no louder than a whisper. "I miss her too. I didn't think anything could hurt as much as losing Zak, but…"
William nodded. Words wouldn't express what they shared – the loss of two good people, the loss of half of their family – so he didn't bother to try. "You need to get some rest," he finally said. "I'll leave you here until I can talk to Aames, and we'll go from there."
"Thanks," Lee said softly.
"Anytime, Son."
And when William Adama left the cell, nodding to the guard to lock it behind him, he looked back to see that Lee had already rolled to his side, facing the wall, and was breathing deeply and evenly. If he wasn't asleep, then he would be soon. William thanked the guard with a smile, and left the brig with his heart lighter than it had been in a very long time. Lee had been carrying enough strain in the past several weeks that a blowup was inevitable. William was just glad that the circumstances weren't as hopeless as they could have been.
Kara shook her head as she watched the sleeping figure on her favorite cot. With a malicious drift of thought, she wondered how he liked urinating with an audience, and it was all she could do not to snicker. She had managed long ago to perfect the feat of doing so without anyone seeing a thing; it was all a matter of very careful arrangement of one's uniform. It was the final indignity, but she'd even managed to beat that. You had to, she reasoned, when the brig was your second home.
But this man had been here only from the opposite side of the bars, and he was notorious for being quite high and mighty about her incarcerations. Granted, in recent years he'd found more humor in the situations than he had before, but he still left her with an impression that he was deeply disappointed with her lack of control. It had both angered and injured her. She could think of a hundred things she could say – none of them particularly polite – to drive the point home now that he was on the receiving end of some discipline.
But he was in here because of her, and that didn't sit well with her. It wasn't that she'd needed his help; she could ignore Aames' insinuations or anyone else's, and she had done so on more occasions than she could count. But he had stuck up for her in a way in which no one had since Zak, and that had been a hell of a long time ago. No, she didn't need a champion, but she wasn't above accepting some help when she felt like watered down oatmeal. And she'd felt about that bad. Between the frozen days off immobility on the shuttle and subsequent days in a hospital bed with no more movement than what the staff provided to prevent bedsores, something as simple as walking across the room seemed like more effort than it was worth. In fact, the thought of a bed located that close to a toilet looked particularly attractive; maybe she should have tried a swing at Aames…
Still, Kara had a duty. It was her job to get on this man's nerves and to do it properly, because otherwise he'd start thinking he could fight every battle for her and things were bad enough without the squad thinking she was a helpless ninny. She was their boss – she required their respect – and they couldn't follow orders if they looked past her to Lee every time she gave one.
"On your feet, Soldier!" she called out in her best drill instructor's voice – one she hadn't used since she'd been teaching at the academy.
Like the well-trained Colonial Serviceman he was, Lee jerked himself upright and to his feet, standing at attention to face her, before he even got his eyes open. Once he did open those blue eyes, and manage to focus them on her, the expression on his face was beyond priceless. "I have so always wanted to do that," she said with a giggle.
He blinked a couple of times, then rubbed his eyes with his hands, making the white gauze wrapped around one arm quite visible. It looked a lot better than the torn up mess of meat that she'd wrapped in one of her shirts back in the bay, but she still wondered how much damage had been done. "Hey," he finally said, walking over to the bars to rest himself against them, more than a little shaky. She could relate.
"How you feeling?" she asked.
"Been better," he admitted. "You?"
She gave a shrug. Honesty wouldn't make him feel any better; she felt like crap. Instead, she sidestepped the question by posing an observation. "Y'know," she said casually. "Hitting an inferior asshole gets you in as much trouble as hitting a superior asshole."
He downu at her, but his heart wasn't in it. "You'd know," he threw back, but his head was resting against his arm.
"You okay?" she asked with honest concern. Harassing her CAG was one thing, but kicking a man when he looked worse than she felt was quite another.
"Headache," he admitted.
She nodded her head, feeling a momentarily guilt for surprising him into waking so unceremoniously. Not enough guilt, however, to force her into apologizing for the dig. Heavens knew that he'd done worse to her over the year, and normally he followed it with a lecture and two or three conditions before he'd do a damned thing to help her out. She wasn't going to be that bad; she had just wanted to see him jump. "Anything I can do?" she finally asked. She hated to see him in pain.
"Nope," he said in resignation. "Dad's taking care of what he can. Looks like I'll be mopping decks and cleaning out ovens for a while on my off-hours, probably right along side the auspicious Lieutenant.
Kara had to grin. "Oh, that'll be priceless. You'll either get along famously and team up against me, or you'll kill one another and the bodies will never be found!"
"Beats getting tossed in prison without a trial," he decided. "Or a court-martial. I really could have gotten into trouble for such a stupid stunt."
"He started it," Kara reminded it.
"Verbally," Lee said, meeting her through the bars. "Not physically. I swung first; that's the bottom line."
"He gave you reason," she reminded him, reaching through the bars almost unconsciously to grab one of his hands. She didn't know why she felt the need to reassure him – and realized she would normally be much more inclined to harass him – but the look in his eyes bothered her. While getting in trouble was her area of expertise, it was something he'd never done well. "I told him to stop, and you did the same. If he was too stupid to listen to both his CAG and Lead Pilot, then he deserved what he got."
"No one deserves to get hit," Lee muttered, his eyes averting much as they had when he'd been at her bedside in Life Station.
Rolling her eyes, she tightened her grip on his one hand and reached through the bars with her other to turn his face to hers. "You're allowed to be human," she told him seriously. "And you're not at your best right now. Why don't you cut yourself some slack?"
He gave her almost half a smile. Almost. "Seems weird to have to doing the lecturing," he commented.
She grinned at that. "Yeah, well it seems weird to be on this side of the bars. You want some pointers on making the time pass?"
She shook his head, but didn't break eye contact, which for some reason she found to be a relief. "I'm not up to pushups," he told her. "Or sit-ups, or curls, or any of the other things you tend to do in here. For the moment, sleeping is about as much as I can manage."
"That's actually what I was going to suggest," she told him with a grin.
He gave her a grin, albeit a tired one, and went to sit down on the bunk. She would have been hurt at the implied rejection of her touch, but the fatigue in his features told her that there had been nothing personal in his action. He just couldn't stand up any longer. While he'd been awake far sooner following their misadventure, he hadn't moved around all that much more and he was probably as tired as she was. Truthfully, he'd spent that extra time at her bedside, so he was probably even more exhausted.
"How bad is it in quarters?" he asked as he sat further up on the bed, put a worn down excuse for a pillow behind his back, and rested himself against it.
"The usual," she said, taking his cue to grab the chair against the far wall and taking a seat herself. The aisle between the wall and the cells was fairly narrow, so it wasn't much of a reach. Really, it was only about a four foot span in which guards could accompany less agreeable prisoners in relative security. "They're talking, and making their remarks, but no one's really taking any of it seriously."
"Even after I went ballistic?" he asked. The concern in his voice seemed more intense with this question.
"It's really no different," she said simply. "Lee, they insinuated that we were sleeping together before, and we ignored it. Then they started making remarks about me and your dad, which we didn't ignore and that got entirely out of hand. Now it's back to the status quo. We're back where we started, and I'm thinking it's a good thing. If they want to pair me up with someone, at least it won't put a question mark on your reputation, I don't have to deal with the accusations of homosexuality, and the guys stop making their half-assed passes. When all's said and done, it's probably a better scenario than if they stuck with the truth. I can't work with the guys asking me out and getting all offended when I tell them no, and your dad can't work with half of CIC whispering behind his back. You, on the other hand, can get away with just about anything. You can date me, and any three other women, and that's all fine and good because you're a man. It increases your status Lee, with me it decreases status. Yeah, it's a double standard, but that's nothing new."
"They accused you of homosexuality?" He asked, his voice incredulous.
Leave it to Lee to latch onto the one sentence she'd spoken that she'd found uncomfortable. "It's just one of many rumors, Lee. I don't go out with anyone else, we deny I go out with you… so it's their logical assumption that I have something to hide. And what's the most carefully hidden secret in military quarters?"
"That's sick," he muttered.
She grinned at that; so prim and proper. "Lee, it's a valid lifestyle choice, and more than common under military conditions when there isn't exactly a balance between men and women. I don't reinforce the notion, but it doesn't offend me either."
He shook his head. "Does any of this offend you?" he asked, and she could have sworn that there was anger in his voice.
"Well, I'm not thrilled that the Adama clan has taken over the defense of my dignity," she admitted. "I mean, first your dad clobbers you, and then you beat on Aames. I've been defending my own honor for a very long time. I'm not sure why you think that all of a sudden it's your job."
He shrugged, looking uncomfortable, but didn't reply.
For a moment Kara closed her eyes in pure frustration. She could get so much more out of Lee if she could just touch him. She could make him look at her, take a hand in hers, something. With some physical connection – his choice or not – she felt that she could read his emotions far more clearly. It surprised her as she'd never been one to like getting close. Even with Zak, whom she'd been madly in love with, she'd found hugs nearly confining and the hand-holding childish. It was easier to touch their father, reassuring him with a pat on the arm or a kiss to the cheek, and she'd become used to doing so. She supposed it was because he was older; either that or she was growing up. Her dislike of touch had stemmed from a childhood where she had been easily restrained, relocated, or just knocked around a bit. As a child, she never had come to really trust anyone who wanted their hands on her. Zak had helped her work through a lot of that because he was so damned tactile, and she hadn't had it in her to deny him the privilege. Lee was less touchy – more formal – and that suited her well. His father was the same. But at this moment, she would have given just about anything to have access to the button that would allow her into that cursed cell. Hell, it was nearly her home; she should at least have a key.
"Lee?"
"Hmm?" he returned, but she could see him lying down, looking steadfastly at the ceiling, and not really listening to her comments. Damn, but she hated the stupid bars!
"Do you have a problem with… you know? What goes on in quarters?"
He was quiet for a long time. Too long. "I don't think about it much," he finally admitted. "I mean, I know it happens, but it's kind of like your parents having sex. It has to happen, but it's something you don't dwell on because it's damned weird."
"So you're saying you don't want a list of who's with whom in quarters," she said in a sardonic tone.
"Lords, no," he replied adamantly.
She laughed at that. Lee could be so old fashioned – so Caprican. Absently she wondered where she was from. She remembered enough travelling before she really had a memory that she wasn't entirely sure if she'd been native to the planet or not. It was unlikely, given her hair and eye color as well as her build, but she liked to claim the planet if for no other reason than she had grown up there. Capricans were notoriously traditional – in almost every area of life. It was also the colony with the fewest prisons, the hardest penalties, and the lowest crime rates. It had been a wonderful place to grow up. More than once, she'd thanked the Lords that before her father went off that last, horrible time he had found the sense to hole-up on Caprica.
"That's not a happy thought," he remarked.
Kara's eyes flashed up to Lee's where he had sat back up and was looking at her urgently. "It wasn't unhappy either," she told him. "Just remembering. You can lay down; get some sleep."
"What about you?" he asked as he looked over at the guard who glanced at them periodically, but in general was ignoring them.
She shrugged. "Hell, this is home," she muttered, tipping the chair back to rest her head against the wall and her feet on the bars. "I'm more comfortable here than in quarters."
Lee grinned, and then his face became serious. "I won't be there for a while," he said softly. "You can take my office if you want. You know there's a bunk in back, and it's quiet. Kennings is working the CAG position while we're out of commission, but he likes his CIC desk better."
She looked at him for a moment, considering a smart-assed remark at the offer, and then remembered how he'd reacted the last time she'd thrown such a gesture back in his face. "Thanks," she told him honestly. "I may just take you up on that in a while. For now, I'm comfortable here so long as you don't mind the company."
He shrugged, then spun around on the bed and lay back down. "Suit yourself," he told her. "Entrance code is 4837."
Kara grinned at the number. "Zak's ID code," she murmured.
He shrugged again. "It's easy enough to remember, and not as obvious as my own. I figured you could keep it in that mind of yours."
Kara was touched, both that the offer still stood and that he'd chosen a security code that she would know intimately. It was a number she could never forget; Lee had known that. Had he always planned to loan her his space? If so, she'd offended him far more the last time he'd offered than she knew.
"Go to sleep, Lee," she told him. "Once you're out, I'll go lay down. This place is a little intimidating if you aren't used to it. Sometimes having a friend nearby makes it easier to sleep."
He nodded. "Thanks, Kara," he told her.
She just smiled; his easy acceptance of her presence soothing something inside her that she hadn't known was irritated. She would wait until he was asleep, then she just might take him up on the offer of a quiet room and a soft bed.