Chapter 14: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Liz sat back in her seat. She had always hated take off. She held tightly on to the arm rest and closed her eyes. She thought of the last week. Her days had been filled with meetings, workshops, and seminars for reporters and journalists around the world. But her nights were free, and she and Todd had toured the city of Paris, the city of Amore. She
smiled just thinking of it. She and Todd had rekindled their love which had suffered during the holiday season, and then after Jessica's miscarriage.
Todd watched her clench the seat rest between them and looked at her with a little amusement. "Why is it that you always get so tense during flying?" Todd asked her. He himself never had any problems with it. Todd, using his hand, unclenched Elizabeth's fingers and smiled at her. "Flying can be fun- if you let it." Todd sank back in his middle class seat. He and Liz were on the side of the plane, and there were just two seats. So they didn't have to share their space with anyone else, thank goodness. Todd had the window seat, and looked out it. It had been a great week. Todd had been a little skeptical, going to France? That really wasn't him. Plus he knew Liz would be working so he didn't see the point in him going. But she had begged, so Todd had taken the week off of work, and entrusted his assistant coach to lead the team for the two games that Todd missed. It really had been a great trip though. No arguing, just the opposite in fact. It had been one! big love fest. As soon as Liz would finish up her seminars for the day she'd rush to him and they'd be drawn together like magnets. It seemed as though they'd fallen in love with each other all over again. Plus Todd knew how much Liz actually needed this trip. The time away from Jessica had allowed her to start putting the bad memories of the past few weeks behind her.
"That's easier said then done," Liz said. She started to relax when the plane took off and leveled off in the air. She pulled out a book and put it on her lap. She smiled at Todd, "So was the trip worth it?" "Oh yeah!" Todd said softly, smiling straight at her. "In fact I think we should take more vacations together. Just the two of us." After the words came out of Todd's mouth, he realized something. In about 6 months it wouldn't just be the two of them ever again. It would be three.
Liz giggled, "Yeah I agree! I feel so much better now," It felt great to get away from the stress of deadlines, proofs, last minute editing and layout problems. For once she actually had a set schedule. She took Todd's hand in her own and squeezed it, a pleading look in her eyes. "I have an appointment tomorrow, you have to come remember."
Todd grinned back at her, unable to hide his happiness. "I haven't forgotten." He told her. "I'm going to go into work, and see just how much paperwork has accumulated on my desk, but I promise I'll meet you at the doctors in time." He said, kissing the back of her hand.
"Good, cause the doctor wants both of us there, Well, of course I have to be there," Liz laughed, "But she wants you there for support."
"Are you sure its the doctor who wants me there for support or is it you who wants me there for support?" He teased. "Don't worry, I'll be there." He said, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles. "You have nothing to worry about; you know that right, Liz?" He asked her. She was almost, almost done with the first trimester, a very good sign. And she had been eating right and taking care of her body, taking her prenatal vitamins. Everything she could possibly do had been done.
Liz smiled nervously, "Well it would be nice," She was so grateful that Todd was being so considerate. Ever since Jessica's miscarriage he had been over daunting to her needs, and was very cautious. But Liz was still only 2 and a half months pregnant. Almost a third of pregnancies are lost in the first 3 months, or the 1st trimester, she still had a few weeks to go before she could stop stressing. But with her doctors word she had been taking it a lot easier and was making sure not to spread herself too thin
"Tell me," Todd murmured, lowering his voice, "this isn't going to be like one of your woman doctor appointments, is it?" he delicately approached. "I'm not going to be embarrassed being there, am I?"
Liz laughed good heartedly, "I wouldn't know, this is my first appointment too! But what I heard they just take your weight, blood pressure, like a regular physical, and then they will listen to the baby's heart beat and do an ultra-sound"
Todd was relieved to hear this. Of course who knew if this is actually what would happen. "Ok, good, that I can handle." Todd said back. "So we're going to get the first picture of our baby tomorrow?" Todd asked, happy at the thought. "You know Liz- maybe we should discuss, since we really haven't yet, but well, what are we going to do about the sex." Todd said, screwing up his sentence.
"Well it's really you choice if you want to know or not, but I would like to know because so I can shop for the baby before hand," Liz said
Todd looked at her curiously. "It's my choice? I figured it would be our choice."
"Well I'm going to find out in case there are any complications later, but if you would rather not know that it fine with me," Liz said, "But that's not something we are going to find out for another few months."
Todd sat back in his seat and thought. Would he like to know the sex of his offspring right after Liz gave birth, or did he want to know the ahead of time? Hmmm. Then he thought of something else. The conversation that he, Liz, Nick and Jess had had in their living room. Jess had wanted to know so badly. Nick didn't want to know at all. And then- well then something tragic had happened. "You know I think I do want to know." Todd said.
Liz nodded, "But I don't want to know until it's important. For now we only have a growing fetus, we shouldn't think of it as a baby until it is born, because every time I get thinking about it that way I go back to thinking of Jess and how it can all disappear so quickly."
Todd's heart caught in his throat. "Oh Liz, no. No, please don't think like that" He said, putting his arms around he- well, as much as you could on on airplaner. "I want to think of it as a baby, as our child, unborn or not. I want to think of the little fingers, the little toes, the mouth. I want to get attached to this baby, so that when it's born, I will have already have loved it enough for a lifetime, making the rest of it just all the more special."
"But Todd I don't want to lose this baby. If that were ever to happen, by then I'd be so attached- Jess was lucky that she lost it so soon in the pregnancy, that she is now back on her feet and moving on with life. I don't think I could..."
"But Elizabeth if you even allow yourself to think that something could happen to the baby, then you're just putting unneeded stress on yourself. Look at me and listen to me" Todd commanded, "There is NO reason to believe that everything won't be okay. Everything is going to be just fine. Alright? Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to happen to this baby. It's ours, it was our from the second we conceived and it will continue to be ours until the day that we die." He kissed her cheek. "It's our child Liz. And I already love this baby as much as I love you."
Tears came to her eyes, "Just because it is our child does not mean that it will prevent it from aborting early, or Sudden Infant Death, there are so many possible things that can happen..."
"But you've got to be positive that nothing like that is going to happen to us." He said quietly, kissing her tears. "Do you remember what we went through to get to this point? If we weren't meant to have a child honey, God wouldn't have given us this opportunity. I don't want you thinking about any more of this kind of stuff, do you hear me?"
The nurse smiled at Elizabeth Wilkins then typed up her name in the computer. "Oh Mrs. Wilkins, I have you scheduled to see Dr. Taylor today, is that correct?"
Liz nodded her head, "Yes for 1:30 pm" she said looking at the Nurse
"Ok well I'm sorry to inform you but Doctor Taylor was called away from the office a little while ago with an emergency. So I can have you see Dr. Anderson instead for today, or if you'd rather just wait for your regular ob-gyn then we can reschedule your appointment."
Liz thought about it for a second, she had already taken time off from work. Todd had too. For just this once it didn't seem like it would be a bother just to switch. It would save everybody time, "I can just keep the appointment today." She said. She looked at her watch, hopefully Todd would be here soon.
"Great Doctor Anderson is excellent and sometimes fills in here when one of our doctors has to go on leave. Luckily, he has an opening for 1:30, so you can even keep your same appointment time. The nurse will take you to your room."
"Thanks," Liz said taking a seat in one of the chairs. Around her were women with varying stages of pregnancy. There was one woman who seemed to be all baby. She looked like she was about to burst at any second. She grabbed a magazine to try and read to prevent becoming nervous.
She was wondering where Todd was.
"Mrs. Wilkins?" A deep voice called out. It was Dr. Anderson.
Liz stood up and walked over to him. She went through the door separating the waiting room and the doctor's office.
"Nice to meet you." Dr. Anderson said to Elizabeth, with an easy smile. "I'm sorry about the last minute change today."
"That's ok." Liz said shaking his hand. He was a warm gentle middle aged man and she was instantly put at ease with him.
"Alright why don't we go ahead and get started then." He suggested. "Can I have you step on the scale please?"
Liz stepped on the scale and Dr. Anderson checked her weight. Liz was surprised. She really hadn't gained much weight, but yet she was almost in the third month. She stepped off and Dr. Anderson led her to the exam room. He gave her a gown and told her he would be right back.
A few minutes later he knocked on the door. "All ready?" He asked her, as he stepped inside.
Elizabeth changed into the gown and got up on the exam table. She had left her watch on. Glancing at it one last time, she couldn't believe Todd was late for this! He had promised her yesterday on the plane
that he would be here, and he had sounded so excited about it. Liz couldn't understand why he would be late. Then she started to worry. What if something had happened?
The doctor knocked on the door interrupting Liz's thoughts. He walked in. "Would you like me to wait a bit for your husband or would you like me to start?" He asked.
Elizabeth bit her lip. "I guess we should go ahead and start, I know that you're filling in, so I'd hate to back up everyone else's appointments for the day." She told him. She tried to get her mind of off
Todd- or more precisely, off of Todd NOT being there. "Tell me, should I have gained some weight by now?"
The doctor smiled, "No, right now the baby is just about the size or your thumbnail. That's not much of a burden now is it?"
"No....It's not" Liz murmured. Although it sure felt like more of a burden.
Todd raced into waiting room and stopped the first nurse he saw. Finding out Elizabeth's room number, he walked down the hallway quickly. Todd figured he's better knock first, so he did.
The doctor heard the knock, "That must be your husband." He said opening the door.
Todd had his mouth open in an apology for being late but then quickly shut it, staring at the man in front of him. Maybe he had gotten the room wrong? Who was this guy? A nurse or something? He was pretty certain Liz had a female ob-gyn. He'd never come right out and asked her, but he'd just assumed. He opened his mouth, "I'm sorry, I was looking for Mrs. Wilkins, I think the nurse gave me the wrong room."
Liz heard Todd's voice, "Its me," she said looking around the doctor," finally allowing herself to relax. Thank god he was here.
Todd looked around the doctor, then the doctor stepped aside so that Todd could walk in, which he did. He walked over to Liz with a look of guilt for being late mixed with a little confusion as to what this situation was. He leaned down and gave her a little kiss on the forehead as a greeting as the doctor closed the door. Todd turned and looked at him. Well, it sure looked like this guy was Liz's OB-GYN.
"Hi, I'm Doctor Anderson, I am filling in today because Dr. Taylor was delivering today." he put his hand out for Todd to shake.
Todd stuck his hand out automatically, and gave Dr. Taylor a handshake. "Hi. It's nice to meet you." Todd said, then pulled his hand back. "I'm uh Todd Wilkins, the uh, the baby's father." He explained, not sure if he was expected to or not.
The doctor smiled nodding his head. "So are we ready to get started?" he asked looking at Liz.
"Yes," Liz said nervously, unsure of what to expect. The doctor held her wrist looking at his watch. He took her pulse then went to take her blood pressure. "How have things been going? Do you have any concerns?" He asked Liz as he listened for her heart beat.
"Well besides just morning sickness everything has gone fine," she said.
"That is quite normal, morning sickness is a good thing, The hormone that signals the brain that there is a baby growing can cause a bit
of nausea, so the sicker you feel the better for the baby. In another month you should start to see it dwindling off. What about your nutrients? Have you gotten your daily requirements?"
Liz nodded her head, "Yes I'm taking some vitamin supplements that my gynecologist recommended."
"Good. I highly recommend eating a lot of citrus fruits. You also want to make sure your getting a lot of folic acid and iron in this stage." There was a knock at the door, and Dr. Anderson let her in. "This is Nurse Cindy, she will be assisting me in the ultra sound." He then turned, switching on a machine which started to hum.
Todd had been standing on the other side of Elizabeth as Dr. Whatever took her heartbeat and pulse. Todd didn't move or say anything. He was glad he hadn't upset Liz about being late. He listened to the exchange between Liz and the doctor, feeling kind of lost, and awkward, almost like he shouldn't be there. But at the same time he was storing all the information that the doctor was saying, like iron and fruit. He knew Liz was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but figured it wouldn't hurt, knowing it too. He knew Liz was going to devote herself to taking care of herself, and Todd loved her for it. She was going to take care of their baby. He saw the nurse come in and as the doctor played with the ultrasound machine. Todd took a little step closer to Liz.
The nurse played with the machine until the screen flashed on, asking Liz to raise up her gown so she could look at her stomach. Liz quickly obliged and waited for further orders. The nurse grabbed a tube of the clear gel and rubbed it on Liz's lower abdomen. "You're still quite thin so we'll probably be able to pick up the picture better." She explained, moving the instrument over Liz's stomach. The doctor then hooked up another device and glided it slowly over Liz's stomach.
Liz was starting to feel like she was part of an ongoing medical experiment with all these machines, and the beeping. As soon as the doctor turned on the heart machine a thunking sound could be heard by all. "That's your baby's heart beat." The doctor said moving the device down further and burrowing his eyebrows.
Todd took yet another step forward. It was weird, seeing his wife on display like this. Todd looked down at his wife's stomach. She looked- well at least to him- perfectly normal. Like there was no baby growing inside of her. The blue gel that the nurse had smeared over her stomach glistened under the fluorescent lights in the room. Hearing their child's heartbeat made Todd's own heart skip a beat. All of this felt so weird to him, and he wasn't yet comfortable with what was going on around him. It made him wonder if Liz was even comfortable with it. None the less, he was glad to be there.
As the nurse adjusted a few dials on the ultrasound machine, a small grayish-black picture popped up. At first it looked nothing more than just gray static. Liz turned her head, allowing her to see the screen as the thumping sound grew louder, filling the room. She looked at the doctor and he smiled, "It's easier to hear the baby's heartbeat this way. It gives a better sense that there really is a child growing in you." he said. He moved it a fraction of an inch and the beat become even clearer.
Todd was suddenly as engrossed in that ultrasound monitor as he had been in the NBA playoff game the night before. No scratch that- more engrossed. He squinted his eyes some, hoping that it would help him to see the picture even more clearly, even though there really wasn't a picture to see. He felt himself smiling. That heartbeat was the sweetest sound he had heard in his entire life. He moved closer to the bed, feeling more at ease. The baby's- his baby's - heartbeat. "Wow." He said very softly under his breath.
Liz felt tears in her eyes. She was hearing the baby's heart beat for the first time. Even though the baby was still inside of her, she could almost feel the baby in her hands with that strong heartbeat. The doctor then moved the screen scanner over to the spot where he'd found the heart beat earlier. On the screen there was a flash of movement
Todd wasn't looking at her face so he didn't see the tears.
Staring hard at the screen, straining his eyes and ears, "What was that?," He questioned, as he saw the flash of movement. He turned his eyes away from the screen looking to the doctor for an answer.
With the pencil the doctor he pointed to the screen. "That semi-circle right there is the head," He said. Moving his pencil, he then pointed out the other distinct features. Liz put her hand over her mouth in shock. She couldn't believe the baby was that developed already. Just a few weeks ago it was a blob of cells.
Todd had no idea that they were going get to see this much of the baby already. "I- wow." Todd said, scratching his head as he was studying the screen again. "I didn't know you could see this much so soon in the pregnancy." He confessed. He looked at Liz, who had her hand over her mouth. She looked as just as surprised as he did. Well, he figured, if Liz hadn't wanted to think of the thing growing inside of her as a baby, this was sure going to make it more difficult!
"Well everything is developed that will be, the next months will be refining and developing those small things, and especially brain development. The baby will start to gain weight, and as a result you too, can expect to put on some weight now." The doctor explained. "Because the uterus sits right on top of the bladder, as you approach your 4th month, you'll probably notice a change in the frequency of bathroom use.
Todd listened, paying attention, eager to learn this new information, hoping it would give him some insight as to what they might be
experiencing. "So Elizabeth is going to start feeling the urge to use the bathroom more, but you said that the morning sickness is going to stop now? Why's that?" Then Todd smiled sheepishly, realizing it sounded like he was disappointed that the morning sickness would be ending. "Sorry, I'm just wondering why that changes."
"Well once the placenta establishes itself in the uterus it no longer has to emit the hormone HCG, which is one of the hormones that causes nausea. Another reason for this is because her body is becoming more accustomed to the changes that have taken place. But there will be increased levels of progesterone and estrogen so you may feel worn out and tired," He said, looking to his patient. "That is perfectly normal, so don't feel bad about taking a napping more often."
Todd nodded. "Don't worry, she will." Todd said, looking down at Elizabeth. He would make her if he had to. "Umm, how much should pregnant woman work? Is it going to put too much stress on her body holding a full time job?" Todd asked the doctor, feeling more comfortable in this room.
Liz was about ready to protest when the doctor smiled, "Actually no, its better for the woman to stay active throughout the pregnancy, I've had women run 2 miles everyday up until a week before labor, but I do caution not to become too stressed or overload. This is still a critical time of pregnancy and sleep and rest is a necessity to growth of the fetus."
Todd thought long and hard about that one. He didn't want to put any pressure on his wife. His only intentions were to find out what would be in her best interest. If it meant letting her work for the duration of the pregnancy, it would mean having to learn to accept it, but trying to keep the stress off her shoulders.
The nurse put a freeze frame on the screen and it snapped a picture. She then turned the screen off and started cleaning up the oil from Liz's stomach and the equipment as the doctor finished up the exam. "Did you have any other questions?" He directed the question at both Liz and Todd.
Todd's eyes followed their way down Liz's body to her stomach as he watched the goop be cleaned up. He looked to his wife as he heard the doctor ask for any other questions.
Liz sat up on the bed after the nurse had cleaned her up. "Well I was wondering about miscarriages. My sister had one recently and I was wondering if it had anything to do with how energetic she is." She asked.
The doctor nodded seeming to take in all the information and finally spoke, "Miscarriages can be a tough thing, for everyone. You have to remember, lifestyle only plays a small role in the spontaneous abortion. It could have just been a chromosome deformity and was the body's way of fixing the problem. No one knows for sure the real cause for miscarriages."
Todd's heart immediately went out again to Jessica and Nick. They certainly hadn't asked for one, and he and Liz certainly weren't either. "Does- well, I mean, Elizabeth is a twin. Is there any reason to think or worry more about the possibility of a miscarriage, seeing as how her twin had one? Can there be any similarities when it comes to twins in this type of stuff."
Todd found one of Elizabeth's hands with his, and gave it a squeeze.
The doctor thought of this for awhile, pondering it in his head, "Miscarriages have been proven to be genetic, but I don't believe you guys should worry any more than any other couple should, many miscarriages happen in the first trimester. There is so much that could happen before the pregnancy even makes it to the first month. The farther along you are in the pregnancy, the less likely it will abort. However, there is always the possibility, and every couple takes that risk."
Liz squeezed his hand back. The doctor seemed to be very well educated and was very willing to help them out.
Todd squeezed her hand even more profoundly as the doctor stated that every couple takes that risk. He knew their pregnancy would be ok. It just had to be. Liz was almost done with her first trimester, and Todd hoped and prayed that everything past this point would develop perfectly. "Do you have any more questions sweetie?" Todd asked sweetly as he looked down at her.
Liz bit her lip and looked at the doctor, "Does labor hurt?"
Todd hadn't expected to hear her ask that. "Liz, try not to think or worry about that yet." Todd interrupted. "That's still quite a ways away." He said, thinking he was being helpful.
The doctor laughed, "I won't lie to you, but yes it does hurt, I can't say from experience since I have never experienced it, but many women have mixed responses. Some say it is just a little bit more pain than regular period cramps, while others say it's like a train going through the whole body. I believe it's how the woman goes into the hospital thinking- if you expect a lot of pain, most likely you will over estimate it and it will hurt more. On the other hand with great support I believe it makes it easier. It's very much a pathological thing."
Liz thought about this for a second and responded with another question, "Do you think that natural birth is better or do you agree that the medical intervention is safer?"
"Safer or not," Todd offered, "medical intervention will make it so much easier on you. Why put yourself through unneeded pain."
The doctor nodded, "Yes it can be easier, but not necessarily less painful, during the pregnancy it may be less painful, but it can prolong the labor process if the women is numbed and can't feel the contractions, and it can interfere with the bodies natural rhythms, and later the doctor might have to go in and get the child with forceps and have to perform an episiotomy. This can actually make it harder for the body to heal after labor." He stopped looking at Liz. "Ultimately, it is the case of the individual; many don't want to experience pain so they opt for that. On the other hand, many like the feeling of pain to know they achieved something and are much happier when it is over. At the same time, natural childbirth is easier on the mother and child in low-risk pregnancies"
Todd nodded. "Everything you're asking makes perfect sense, but I've still got to believe that overall, that taking the drugs will put her out of a lot of pain, and maybe even more able to enjoy." There was no doubt in Todd's mind. In 6 months, he wanted Elizabeth accepting the epidural. He didn't want to watch her withering in pain, and if taking drugs could help against that, then he very much wanted her taking them.
Liz rolled her eyes. Her mother had refused medication for both her pregnancies saying it was just not right. She wanted to be awake and alert to see her children come into the world. Even though she claimed it hurt, she was thankful she did. Liz was going to do the same; she just didn't see the point in medication or even surgery. The doctor stayed neutral saying that with proper breathing and training it would help ease the pain, but that once again it depended on the individual.
Liz then asked him another question, "What about love making during pregnancy, do you recommend it, discourage it?..." She trailed off blushing.
Todd had missed Elizabeth's roll of the eyes. Instead, he listened thoughtfully as the doctor spoke. But Todd didn't need to be sold
one way or the other. He wanted Elizabeth to accept drugs during the labor. His head jerked up suddenly, as he heard her last question. He looked at his wife's face, shocked that she would so bluntly ask that question.
He felt his face grow a little red. "Umm, yeah. We've been kind of hesitant." Todd offered. But it was true. Ever since Elizabeth had told him the news about being pregnant, every time before they were going to make love, he hesitated and voiced his concern. It was definitely something on his mind.
The doctor smiled, "Many couples ask that same question, and here's what I tell them. Love making is perfectly fine. It won't hurt the
baby the slightest, but in later pregnancy it might become more difficult depending on your willingness. You may have to find some more creative positions. Love making is also a natural way to induce the pregnancy when the time is right."
Todd laughed. Induce. He tried to imagine him and a very 9 month pregnant Elizabeth trying to have sex to get the labor started. He couldn't even imagine it- it was too funny. Funniness aside, he needed to get over his little mental job with this whole sex thing, and he figured the doctor could once and for all put it to rest. "So you're sure- absolutely sure, nothing can happen, nothing even remote, that I could do while in there, to affect the baby or her pregnancy?" It was embarrassing, but he needed to know.
"I'm absolutely positive," The doctor said. He turned to Liz. "Everything seems fine though, the baby is developing right where it should
be. It seems to be healthy."
"That's great news, right Liz?" Todd asked, smiling and squeezing her hand. "So when do we get to come again? When do we get to listen to another heartbeat and get a new picture?" Todd asked, a little excited.
The doctor laughed at his eagerness, he was used to this from first time couples, "Well you can schedule another appointment for next month with the nurse. I can give you my card though, if you have any questions before then, go ahead and call me. Dr. Taylor is also available and she will answer any more of your questions you have,"
"Ok, great!" Todd said, letting go of Elizabeth's hand. He reached over her and shook Dr. Anderson's hand again, and this time, was a little more into it. "Thanks." He told him.
"Your welcome," he said shaking Todd's hand. He then turned to Elizabeth and shook her hand, "Listen I'm not usually a sales person, but I do recommend taking some iron and calcium supplements, along with a balanced diet." He said he turned back to Todd. "It was nice meeting you guys, and I wish you good luck." He then smiled and left the room.
Liz sat back in her seat. She had always hated take off. She held tightly on to the arm rest and closed her eyes. She thought of the last week. Her days had been filled with meetings, workshops, and seminars for reporters and journalists around the world. But her nights were free, and she and Todd had toured the city of Paris, the city of Amore. She
smiled just thinking of it. She and Todd had rekindled their love which had suffered during the holiday season, and then after Jessica's miscarriage.
Todd watched her clench the seat rest between them and looked at her with a little amusement. "Why is it that you always get so tense during flying?" Todd asked her. He himself never had any problems with it. Todd, using his hand, unclenched Elizabeth's fingers and smiled at her. "Flying can be fun- if you let it." Todd sank back in his middle class seat. He and Liz were on the side of the plane, and there were just two seats. So they didn't have to share their space with anyone else, thank goodness. Todd had the window seat, and looked out it. It had been a great week. Todd had been a little skeptical, going to France? That really wasn't him. Plus he knew Liz would be working so he didn't see the point in him going. But she had begged, so Todd had taken the week off of work, and entrusted his assistant coach to lead the team for the two games that Todd missed. It really had been a great trip though. No arguing, just the opposite in fact. It had been one! big love fest. As soon as Liz would finish up her seminars for the day she'd rush to him and they'd be drawn together like magnets. It seemed as though they'd fallen in love with each other all over again. Plus Todd knew how much Liz actually needed this trip. The time away from Jessica had allowed her to start putting the bad memories of the past few weeks behind her.
"That's easier said then done," Liz said. She started to relax when the plane took off and leveled off in the air. She pulled out a book and put it on her lap. She smiled at Todd, "So was the trip worth it?" "Oh yeah!" Todd said softly, smiling straight at her. "In fact I think we should take more vacations together. Just the two of us." After the words came out of Todd's mouth, he realized something. In about 6 months it wouldn't just be the two of them ever again. It would be three.
Liz giggled, "Yeah I agree! I feel so much better now," It felt great to get away from the stress of deadlines, proofs, last minute editing and layout problems. For once she actually had a set schedule. She took Todd's hand in her own and squeezed it, a pleading look in her eyes. "I have an appointment tomorrow, you have to come remember."
Todd grinned back at her, unable to hide his happiness. "I haven't forgotten." He told her. "I'm going to go into work, and see just how much paperwork has accumulated on my desk, but I promise I'll meet you at the doctors in time." He said, kissing the back of her hand.
"Good, cause the doctor wants both of us there, Well, of course I have to be there," Liz laughed, "But she wants you there for support."
"Are you sure its the doctor who wants me there for support or is it you who wants me there for support?" He teased. "Don't worry, I'll be there." He said, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles. "You have nothing to worry about; you know that right, Liz?" He asked her. She was almost, almost done with the first trimester, a very good sign. And she had been eating right and taking care of her body, taking her prenatal vitamins. Everything she could possibly do had been done.
Liz smiled nervously, "Well it would be nice," She was so grateful that Todd was being so considerate. Ever since Jessica's miscarriage he had been over daunting to her needs, and was very cautious. But Liz was still only 2 and a half months pregnant. Almost a third of pregnancies are lost in the first 3 months, or the 1st trimester, she still had a few weeks to go before she could stop stressing. But with her doctors word she had been taking it a lot easier and was making sure not to spread herself too thin
"Tell me," Todd murmured, lowering his voice, "this isn't going to be like one of your woman doctor appointments, is it?" he delicately approached. "I'm not going to be embarrassed being there, am I?"
Liz laughed good heartedly, "I wouldn't know, this is my first appointment too! But what I heard they just take your weight, blood pressure, like a regular physical, and then they will listen to the baby's heart beat and do an ultra-sound"
Todd was relieved to hear this. Of course who knew if this is actually what would happen. "Ok, good, that I can handle." Todd said back. "So we're going to get the first picture of our baby tomorrow?" Todd asked, happy at the thought. "You know Liz- maybe we should discuss, since we really haven't yet, but well, what are we going to do about the sex." Todd said, screwing up his sentence.
"Well it's really you choice if you want to know or not, but I would like to know because so I can shop for the baby before hand," Liz said
Todd looked at her curiously. "It's my choice? I figured it would be our choice."
"Well I'm going to find out in case there are any complications later, but if you would rather not know that it fine with me," Liz said, "But that's not something we are going to find out for another few months."
Todd sat back in his seat and thought. Would he like to know the sex of his offspring right after Liz gave birth, or did he want to know the ahead of time? Hmmm. Then he thought of something else. The conversation that he, Liz, Nick and Jess had had in their living room. Jess had wanted to know so badly. Nick didn't want to know at all. And then- well then something tragic had happened. "You know I think I do want to know." Todd said.
Liz nodded, "But I don't want to know until it's important. For now we only have a growing fetus, we shouldn't think of it as a baby until it is born, because every time I get thinking about it that way I go back to thinking of Jess and how it can all disappear so quickly."
Todd's heart caught in his throat. "Oh Liz, no. No, please don't think like that" He said, putting his arms around he- well, as much as you could on on airplaner. "I want to think of it as a baby, as our child, unborn or not. I want to think of the little fingers, the little toes, the mouth. I want to get attached to this baby, so that when it's born, I will have already have loved it enough for a lifetime, making the rest of it just all the more special."
"But Todd I don't want to lose this baby. If that were ever to happen, by then I'd be so attached- Jess was lucky that she lost it so soon in the pregnancy, that she is now back on her feet and moving on with life. I don't think I could..."
"But Elizabeth if you even allow yourself to think that something could happen to the baby, then you're just putting unneeded stress on yourself. Look at me and listen to me" Todd commanded, "There is NO reason to believe that everything won't be okay. Everything is going to be just fine. Alright? Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to happen to this baby. It's ours, it was our from the second we conceived and it will continue to be ours until the day that we die." He kissed her cheek. "It's our child Liz. And I already love this baby as much as I love you."
Tears came to her eyes, "Just because it is our child does not mean that it will prevent it from aborting early, or Sudden Infant Death, there are so many possible things that can happen..."
"But you've got to be positive that nothing like that is going to happen to us." He said quietly, kissing her tears. "Do you remember what we went through to get to this point? If we weren't meant to have a child honey, God wouldn't have given us this opportunity. I don't want you thinking about any more of this kind of stuff, do you hear me?"
The nurse smiled at Elizabeth Wilkins then typed up her name in the computer. "Oh Mrs. Wilkins, I have you scheduled to see Dr. Taylor today, is that correct?"
Liz nodded her head, "Yes for 1:30 pm" she said looking at the Nurse
"Ok well I'm sorry to inform you but Doctor Taylor was called away from the office a little while ago with an emergency. So I can have you see Dr. Anderson instead for today, or if you'd rather just wait for your regular ob-gyn then we can reschedule your appointment."
Liz thought about it for a second, she had already taken time off from work. Todd had too. For just this once it didn't seem like it would be a bother just to switch. It would save everybody time, "I can just keep the appointment today." She said. She looked at her watch, hopefully Todd would be here soon.
"Great Doctor Anderson is excellent and sometimes fills in here when one of our doctors has to go on leave. Luckily, he has an opening for 1:30, so you can even keep your same appointment time. The nurse will take you to your room."
"Thanks," Liz said taking a seat in one of the chairs. Around her were women with varying stages of pregnancy. There was one woman who seemed to be all baby. She looked like she was about to burst at any second. She grabbed a magazine to try and read to prevent becoming nervous.
She was wondering where Todd was.
"Mrs. Wilkins?" A deep voice called out. It was Dr. Anderson.
Liz stood up and walked over to him. She went through the door separating the waiting room and the doctor's office.
"Nice to meet you." Dr. Anderson said to Elizabeth, with an easy smile. "I'm sorry about the last minute change today."
"That's ok." Liz said shaking his hand. He was a warm gentle middle aged man and she was instantly put at ease with him.
"Alright why don't we go ahead and get started then." He suggested. "Can I have you step on the scale please?"
Liz stepped on the scale and Dr. Anderson checked her weight. Liz was surprised. She really hadn't gained much weight, but yet she was almost in the third month. She stepped off and Dr. Anderson led her to the exam room. He gave her a gown and told her he would be right back.
A few minutes later he knocked on the door. "All ready?" He asked her, as he stepped inside.
Elizabeth changed into the gown and got up on the exam table. She had left her watch on. Glancing at it one last time, she couldn't believe Todd was late for this! He had promised her yesterday on the plane
that he would be here, and he had sounded so excited about it. Liz couldn't understand why he would be late. Then she started to worry. What if something had happened?
The doctor knocked on the door interrupting Liz's thoughts. He walked in. "Would you like me to wait a bit for your husband or would you like me to start?" He asked.
Elizabeth bit her lip. "I guess we should go ahead and start, I know that you're filling in, so I'd hate to back up everyone else's appointments for the day." She told him. She tried to get her mind of off
Todd- or more precisely, off of Todd NOT being there. "Tell me, should I have gained some weight by now?"
The doctor smiled, "No, right now the baby is just about the size or your thumbnail. That's not much of a burden now is it?"
"No....It's not" Liz murmured. Although it sure felt like more of a burden.
Todd raced into waiting room and stopped the first nurse he saw. Finding out Elizabeth's room number, he walked down the hallway quickly. Todd figured he's better knock first, so he did.
The doctor heard the knock, "That must be your husband." He said opening the door.
Todd had his mouth open in an apology for being late but then quickly shut it, staring at the man in front of him. Maybe he had gotten the room wrong? Who was this guy? A nurse or something? He was pretty certain Liz had a female ob-gyn. He'd never come right out and asked her, but he'd just assumed. He opened his mouth, "I'm sorry, I was looking for Mrs. Wilkins, I think the nurse gave me the wrong room."
Liz heard Todd's voice, "Its me," she said looking around the doctor," finally allowing herself to relax. Thank god he was here.
Todd looked around the doctor, then the doctor stepped aside so that Todd could walk in, which he did. He walked over to Liz with a look of guilt for being late mixed with a little confusion as to what this situation was. He leaned down and gave her a little kiss on the forehead as a greeting as the doctor closed the door. Todd turned and looked at him. Well, it sure looked like this guy was Liz's OB-GYN.
"Hi, I'm Doctor Anderson, I am filling in today because Dr. Taylor was delivering today." he put his hand out for Todd to shake.
Todd stuck his hand out automatically, and gave Dr. Taylor a handshake. "Hi. It's nice to meet you." Todd said, then pulled his hand back. "I'm uh Todd Wilkins, the uh, the baby's father." He explained, not sure if he was expected to or not.
The doctor smiled nodding his head. "So are we ready to get started?" he asked looking at Liz.
"Yes," Liz said nervously, unsure of what to expect. The doctor held her wrist looking at his watch. He took her pulse then went to take her blood pressure. "How have things been going? Do you have any concerns?" He asked Liz as he listened for her heart beat.
"Well besides just morning sickness everything has gone fine," she said.
"That is quite normal, morning sickness is a good thing, The hormone that signals the brain that there is a baby growing can cause a bit
of nausea, so the sicker you feel the better for the baby. In another month you should start to see it dwindling off. What about your nutrients? Have you gotten your daily requirements?"
Liz nodded her head, "Yes I'm taking some vitamin supplements that my gynecologist recommended."
"Good. I highly recommend eating a lot of citrus fruits. You also want to make sure your getting a lot of folic acid and iron in this stage." There was a knock at the door, and Dr. Anderson let her in. "This is Nurse Cindy, she will be assisting me in the ultra sound." He then turned, switching on a machine which started to hum.
Todd had been standing on the other side of Elizabeth as Dr. Whatever took her heartbeat and pulse. Todd didn't move or say anything. He was glad he hadn't upset Liz about being late. He listened to the exchange between Liz and the doctor, feeling kind of lost, and awkward, almost like he shouldn't be there. But at the same time he was storing all the information that the doctor was saying, like iron and fruit. He knew Liz was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but figured it wouldn't hurt, knowing it too. He knew Liz was going to devote herself to taking care of herself, and Todd loved her for it. She was going to take care of their baby. He saw the nurse come in and as the doctor played with the ultrasound machine. Todd took a little step closer to Liz.
The nurse played with the machine until the screen flashed on, asking Liz to raise up her gown so she could look at her stomach. Liz quickly obliged and waited for further orders. The nurse grabbed a tube of the clear gel and rubbed it on Liz's lower abdomen. "You're still quite thin so we'll probably be able to pick up the picture better." She explained, moving the instrument over Liz's stomach. The doctor then hooked up another device and glided it slowly over Liz's stomach.
Liz was starting to feel like she was part of an ongoing medical experiment with all these machines, and the beeping. As soon as the doctor turned on the heart machine a thunking sound could be heard by all. "That's your baby's heart beat." The doctor said moving the device down further and burrowing his eyebrows.
Todd took yet another step forward. It was weird, seeing his wife on display like this. Todd looked down at his wife's stomach. She looked- well at least to him- perfectly normal. Like there was no baby growing inside of her. The blue gel that the nurse had smeared over her stomach glistened under the fluorescent lights in the room. Hearing their child's heartbeat made Todd's own heart skip a beat. All of this felt so weird to him, and he wasn't yet comfortable with what was going on around him. It made him wonder if Liz was even comfortable with it. None the less, he was glad to be there.
As the nurse adjusted a few dials on the ultrasound machine, a small grayish-black picture popped up. At first it looked nothing more than just gray static. Liz turned her head, allowing her to see the screen as the thumping sound grew louder, filling the room. She looked at the doctor and he smiled, "It's easier to hear the baby's heartbeat this way. It gives a better sense that there really is a child growing in you." he said. He moved it a fraction of an inch and the beat become even clearer.
Todd was suddenly as engrossed in that ultrasound monitor as he had been in the NBA playoff game the night before. No scratch that- more engrossed. He squinted his eyes some, hoping that it would help him to see the picture even more clearly, even though there really wasn't a picture to see. He felt himself smiling. That heartbeat was the sweetest sound he had heard in his entire life. He moved closer to the bed, feeling more at ease. The baby's- his baby's - heartbeat. "Wow." He said very softly under his breath.
Liz felt tears in her eyes. She was hearing the baby's heart beat for the first time. Even though the baby was still inside of her, she could almost feel the baby in her hands with that strong heartbeat. The doctor then moved the screen scanner over to the spot where he'd found the heart beat earlier. On the screen there was a flash of movement
Todd wasn't looking at her face so he didn't see the tears.
Staring hard at the screen, straining his eyes and ears, "What was that?," He questioned, as he saw the flash of movement. He turned his eyes away from the screen looking to the doctor for an answer.
With the pencil the doctor he pointed to the screen. "That semi-circle right there is the head," He said. Moving his pencil, he then pointed out the other distinct features. Liz put her hand over her mouth in shock. She couldn't believe the baby was that developed already. Just a few weeks ago it was a blob of cells.
Todd had no idea that they were going get to see this much of the baby already. "I- wow." Todd said, scratching his head as he was studying the screen again. "I didn't know you could see this much so soon in the pregnancy." He confessed. He looked at Liz, who had her hand over her mouth. She looked as just as surprised as he did. Well, he figured, if Liz hadn't wanted to think of the thing growing inside of her as a baby, this was sure going to make it more difficult!
"Well everything is developed that will be, the next months will be refining and developing those small things, and especially brain development. The baby will start to gain weight, and as a result you too, can expect to put on some weight now." The doctor explained. "Because the uterus sits right on top of the bladder, as you approach your 4th month, you'll probably notice a change in the frequency of bathroom use.
Todd listened, paying attention, eager to learn this new information, hoping it would give him some insight as to what they might be
experiencing. "So Elizabeth is going to start feeling the urge to use the bathroom more, but you said that the morning sickness is going to stop now? Why's that?" Then Todd smiled sheepishly, realizing it sounded like he was disappointed that the morning sickness would be ending. "Sorry, I'm just wondering why that changes."
"Well once the placenta establishes itself in the uterus it no longer has to emit the hormone HCG, which is one of the hormones that causes nausea. Another reason for this is because her body is becoming more accustomed to the changes that have taken place. But there will be increased levels of progesterone and estrogen so you may feel worn out and tired," He said, looking to his patient. "That is perfectly normal, so don't feel bad about taking a napping more often."
Todd nodded. "Don't worry, she will." Todd said, looking down at Elizabeth. He would make her if he had to. "Umm, how much should pregnant woman work? Is it going to put too much stress on her body holding a full time job?" Todd asked the doctor, feeling more comfortable in this room.
Liz was about ready to protest when the doctor smiled, "Actually no, its better for the woman to stay active throughout the pregnancy, I've had women run 2 miles everyday up until a week before labor, but I do caution not to become too stressed or overload. This is still a critical time of pregnancy and sleep and rest is a necessity to growth of the fetus."
Todd thought long and hard about that one. He didn't want to put any pressure on his wife. His only intentions were to find out what would be in her best interest. If it meant letting her work for the duration of the pregnancy, it would mean having to learn to accept it, but trying to keep the stress off her shoulders.
The nurse put a freeze frame on the screen and it snapped a picture. She then turned the screen off and started cleaning up the oil from Liz's stomach and the equipment as the doctor finished up the exam. "Did you have any other questions?" He directed the question at both Liz and Todd.
Todd's eyes followed their way down Liz's body to her stomach as he watched the goop be cleaned up. He looked to his wife as he heard the doctor ask for any other questions.
Liz sat up on the bed after the nurse had cleaned her up. "Well I was wondering about miscarriages. My sister had one recently and I was wondering if it had anything to do with how energetic she is." She asked.
The doctor nodded seeming to take in all the information and finally spoke, "Miscarriages can be a tough thing, for everyone. You have to remember, lifestyle only plays a small role in the spontaneous abortion. It could have just been a chromosome deformity and was the body's way of fixing the problem. No one knows for sure the real cause for miscarriages."
Todd's heart immediately went out again to Jessica and Nick. They certainly hadn't asked for one, and he and Liz certainly weren't either. "Does- well, I mean, Elizabeth is a twin. Is there any reason to think or worry more about the possibility of a miscarriage, seeing as how her twin had one? Can there be any similarities when it comes to twins in this type of stuff."
Todd found one of Elizabeth's hands with his, and gave it a squeeze.
The doctor thought of this for awhile, pondering it in his head, "Miscarriages have been proven to be genetic, but I don't believe you guys should worry any more than any other couple should, many miscarriages happen in the first trimester. There is so much that could happen before the pregnancy even makes it to the first month. The farther along you are in the pregnancy, the less likely it will abort. However, there is always the possibility, and every couple takes that risk."
Liz squeezed his hand back. The doctor seemed to be very well educated and was very willing to help them out.
Todd squeezed her hand even more profoundly as the doctor stated that every couple takes that risk. He knew their pregnancy would be ok. It just had to be. Liz was almost done with her first trimester, and Todd hoped and prayed that everything past this point would develop perfectly. "Do you have any more questions sweetie?" Todd asked sweetly as he looked down at her.
Liz bit her lip and looked at the doctor, "Does labor hurt?"
Todd hadn't expected to hear her ask that. "Liz, try not to think or worry about that yet." Todd interrupted. "That's still quite a ways away." He said, thinking he was being helpful.
The doctor laughed, "I won't lie to you, but yes it does hurt, I can't say from experience since I have never experienced it, but many women have mixed responses. Some say it is just a little bit more pain than regular period cramps, while others say it's like a train going through the whole body. I believe it's how the woman goes into the hospital thinking- if you expect a lot of pain, most likely you will over estimate it and it will hurt more. On the other hand with great support I believe it makes it easier. It's very much a pathological thing."
Liz thought about this for a second and responded with another question, "Do you think that natural birth is better or do you agree that the medical intervention is safer?"
"Safer or not," Todd offered, "medical intervention will make it so much easier on you. Why put yourself through unneeded pain."
The doctor nodded, "Yes it can be easier, but not necessarily less painful, during the pregnancy it may be less painful, but it can prolong the labor process if the women is numbed and can't feel the contractions, and it can interfere with the bodies natural rhythms, and later the doctor might have to go in and get the child with forceps and have to perform an episiotomy. This can actually make it harder for the body to heal after labor." He stopped looking at Liz. "Ultimately, it is the case of the individual; many don't want to experience pain so they opt for that. On the other hand, many like the feeling of pain to know they achieved something and are much happier when it is over. At the same time, natural childbirth is easier on the mother and child in low-risk pregnancies"
Todd nodded. "Everything you're asking makes perfect sense, but I've still got to believe that overall, that taking the drugs will put her out of a lot of pain, and maybe even more able to enjoy." There was no doubt in Todd's mind. In 6 months, he wanted Elizabeth accepting the epidural. He didn't want to watch her withering in pain, and if taking drugs could help against that, then he very much wanted her taking them.
Liz rolled her eyes. Her mother had refused medication for both her pregnancies saying it was just not right. She wanted to be awake and alert to see her children come into the world. Even though she claimed it hurt, she was thankful she did. Liz was going to do the same; she just didn't see the point in medication or even surgery. The doctor stayed neutral saying that with proper breathing and training it would help ease the pain, but that once again it depended on the individual.
Liz then asked him another question, "What about love making during pregnancy, do you recommend it, discourage it?..." She trailed off blushing.
Todd had missed Elizabeth's roll of the eyes. Instead, he listened thoughtfully as the doctor spoke. But Todd didn't need to be sold
one way or the other. He wanted Elizabeth to accept drugs during the labor. His head jerked up suddenly, as he heard her last question. He looked at his wife's face, shocked that she would so bluntly ask that question.
He felt his face grow a little red. "Umm, yeah. We've been kind of hesitant." Todd offered. But it was true. Ever since Elizabeth had told him the news about being pregnant, every time before they were going to make love, he hesitated and voiced his concern. It was definitely something on his mind.
The doctor smiled, "Many couples ask that same question, and here's what I tell them. Love making is perfectly fine. It won't hurt the
baby the slightest, but in later pregnancy it might become more difficult depending on your willingness. You may have to find some more creative positions. Love making is also a natural way to induce the pregnancy when the time is right."
Todd laughed. Induce. He tried to imagine him and a very 9 month pregnant Elizabeth trying to have sex to get the labor started. He couldn't even imagine it- it was too funny. Funniness aside, he needed to get over his little mental job with this whole sex thing, and he figured the doctor could once and for all put it to rest. "So you're sure- absolutely sure, nothing can happen, nothing even remote, that I could do while in there, to affect the baby or her pregnancy?" It was embarrassing, but he needed to know.
"I'm absolutely positive," The doctor said. He turned to Liz. "Everything seems fine though, the baby is developing right where it should
be. It seems to be healthy."
"That's great news, right Liz?" Todd asked, smiling and squeezing her hand. "So when do we get to come again? When do we get to listen to another heartbeat and get a new picture?" Todd asked, a little excited.
The doctor laughed at his eagerness, he was used to this from first time couples, "Well you can schedule another appointment for next month with the nurse. I can give you my card though, if you have any questions before then, go ahead and call me. Dr. Taylor is also available and she will answer any more of your questions you have,"
"Ok, great!" Todd said, letting go of Elizabeth's hand. He reached over her and shook Dr. Anderson's hand again, and this time, was a little more into it. "Thanks." He told him.
"Your welcome," he said shaking Todd's hand. He then turned to Elizabeth and shook her hand, "Listen I'm not usually a sales person, but I do recommend taking some iron and calcium supplements, along with a balanced diet." He said he turned back to Todd. "It was nice meeting you guys, and I wish you good luck." He then smiled and left the room.