Chapter 19: Breath This Way

Todd held the door open to the community center as Elizabeth waddled in. Of course he'd never describe it to her face as waddling. But she was eight months pregnant, and pretty large.

"You up to taking the stairs tonight, or do you want to take the elevator?" He asked her, since he knew she had some trouble walking up stairs in her condition. Todd had a bag over his shoulder with stuff they were always asked to bring to class, a rolled up mat in one hand, and a pillow in the other.

"Better off with the elevator, I don't want to have to be towed up the rest of the way if I stop." Liz responded, walking to the elevator. Todd didn't want to be the one doing the towing. It was definitely worth walking to the other end of the building to the elevator, which they promptly did. Todd hit the button and the elevator started moving

up. "So how many more classes do we have after this one?" Todd asked, trying not to make it sound like he hated going. He didn't hate them, but, it wasn't his favorite thing to do either.

Liz walked into the elevator pushing the third floor. She rolled her eyes. She knew Todd hated these classes and she was glad they were almost done. "We have one more week Todd. I can't wait to be done with them either, honey." She said. She looked at him and laughed. He was carrying everything but her purse. But it wasn't really possible for her to carry anything since she had a hard enough time with just walking.

Todd rolled his eyes as he leaned back against the back wall of the elevator. "I know. It's just weird- being in that room, with all those REALLY pregnant women...." Todd said, stepping out of the elevator as it hit their floor. "I mean... It could be worse." He amended. "But I guess we're doing it for this little guy, huh?" he asked, helping

her out of the elevator before he walked ahead of her down the hall.

"Whether I enjoy it or not doesn't really matter, the only reason I'm here is so the labor won't be any more worse than it already is." Liz replied. The elevator closed behind them and they walked down the hall to the room. They were early again.

They were early. Surprise! Surprise! Todd thought to himself as he walked into their room. Liz always had to be early everywhere. Todd nodded and smiled at their instructor. She was pretty nice. A little blunt and overly honest, he felt, but nice all the same. "Liz you want to sit on the floor now, or stand?" He asked her, knowing that she

would need help sitting.

"Sit," She said bending down. The ground seemed to be harder and harder to reach more often. It had been about three weeks since she was able to tie her shoes. Todd nodded and like a routine, unrolled the mat and laid it out. Then he took her arm and very slowly bent with her, helping support some of her weight, until her bottom hit the floor.

"Thanks." She said sweetly, putting the pillow behind her and leaning back on it.

"That's what I'm here for." He said, kissing her forehead as he was bending down. He sat next to her, wishing he had a brought a pillow for himself to lean against as well. Elizabeth gave him a small smile and nod then turned to the instructor and relaxed. Even though she was a bit blunt she gave it straight up and told everyone what to expect.

There would be no surprises. She wondered what would happen today, as the other couples were starting to fill in.

"Hey man." Todd said, instantly brightening up as Jeff Thomas and his wife came in and sat down. Jeff and Todd knocked fists as Jeff's wife, Holly, a pretty redhead, waddled in behind him. Todd had totally taken a liking to Jeff. He was a sportswriter for the Los Angeles Lakers. That alone was enough to impress Todd. And Jeff was a pretty cool guy to, Lakers aside.

"So you're missing the game tonight huh?" Todd said, knowingly. And he knew because he had moaned and groaned about the two events: Lamaze class and the game.

"Yea, but I got someone to cover." Jeff said as his attention was more on helping his wife sit.

"Still, you probably wish you were there, huh?" Todd commented. Liz rolled her eyes looking at Holly. What was it about men and sports? Did everything revolve around it?

"Actually, not really." Jeff responded as he turned to face Todd. "It's not as important as being here with my wife." Todd tried not to roll his eyes but he knew it was eating at Jeff, having to miss covering tonight's playoff game. But he also knew that Holly was right there, and if he and Todd were having this conversation in the hallway, it

would be quite different.

"So Liz, you still standing firm on not finding out the sex?" Holly asked her as she rubbed her stomach. Holly and Jeff, unlike Liz and Todd, knew what they were having- a future Laker- a nice robust boy.

"As far as I know yes, we're not going to find out until she's born. I'm pretty sure she's a girl." She said winking and attempting to hide her smile. "But of course Todd figures we've got a future basketball player, so go figure."

Todd was about to respond with some snappy comment, but the instructor began speaking. After a few minutes of her speaking, she paused as she went to get the VCR ready. Todd, when he saw what was going to happen, turned to Liz obviously excited. "Cool a movie!" He said, brightening up some. Going all the way back to elementary school, he'd always lived for the times when his class would get to watch a movie instead of listening to the teacher talk. Then another thought popped into his head. He wondered if his own child would be the same way. It was weird how he started to think about stuff like this now.

Liz turned to the screen as the instructor put in the video. She then started to talk as the lights dimmed. "Moms and Dads, tonight, we're going to watch a real birth video. I know for some of you that it's going to appear gross. Some of you might end up queasy but all of you will eventually go through this, so you might as well get accustomed to

it."

Todd didn't really feel up to watching a birth, but he certainly knew he wasn't one of the queasy ones the instructor was warning. I mean, come on, how bad could it really be? Todd stretched his legs out in front of him, crossed them, and then leaned back on his hands.

"Don't worry Liz, I'm sure it won't be that bad." He said, nodding at her, since he knew deep down how many apprehensions she was having about giving birth.

Liz braced herself. She'd heard the horror stories from other women about labor and its pain, and how they never wanted to do it again, but yet somehow they ended up pregnant again. She felt herself relaxing and she watched the movie. Instantly the scene was brought into the hospital delivery room. She could hear a woman screaming.

Todd scrunched up his face as the screaming started. God. Why? Why did woman in films always have to scream like the world was ending? The woman was shown in a close-up and if Todd didn't know better he'd say that looked like real pain on her face, not good acting. Then the close up disappeared and her entire length of her body was shown. Her legs were up.

Todd popped a mint into his mouth which he had dug out of his pocket. He always needed to eat candy during movies. The woman remained in the same position with her face scrunched up as she grabbed the bed railing with her hands. She let out a long

groan as the doctor spoke saying the baby had crowned. On the next contraction the woman again pushed. The camera then switched to an extreme close-up of between her legs. Liz cringed with disgust.

Todd had been pretty ok with this, until all of a sudden they got that close up camera shot of between the woman's legs- in all her glory. Todd had been moving his jaw, sucking on the mint, but when he saw that he suddenly bit down hard out of shock, and the mint cracked on his tooth. Todd had to swallow, he felt his stomach turning. Oh man that was a disgusting thing that he was looking at- and, why was he still looking at it? He turned his head away from the gory reality towards Elizabeth's face.

Liz continued to watch. Either out of fascination or disgust, she wasn't sure. In the background she could still hear the woman screaming and the doctor urging her to push. The baby's head was just barely visible started to get bigger.

Well, since Liz was watching Todd certainly had to watch too or she'd be pissed, not to mention that his male macho ness would be stepped on. So Todd turned his head back to the video. His tooth hurt from where the mint had cracked on it. But man, not as bad as that probably hurt, Todd realized, with disgust, as the baby's head pushed through the woman's vagina. Man, how could something that big come out of such a small area. It was really beginning to gross him out, and as a result of Todd felt his stomach become queasy.

The baby's whole head emerged turning to the side and the doctor grabbed it and helped pull it out. It slid thought like a slick snake and a pool of blood and some whitish clear stuff gushed out after it. The baby was covered in white gunk. Liz covered her mouth. All the television programs and movies always had birth as such a beautiful thing. This was absolutely horrifying! The doctor took the blood covered baby and quickly cleaned it off before handing it over to the mother.

Todd had to cover his mouth as he saw the afterbirth gush out of the woman's body after the baby. Oh man was it a good thing he hadn't eaten that third taco before they had left the house that evening. Todd was afraid that if he moved too suddenly he just might hurl.

Liz's mouth hung open as the mother of the newborn started to cry and cuddle the baby. She couldn't see why, the baby was just so ugly. It just didn't seem right. The instructor turned off the set and hit the lights. She looked around at the other people in the room. They were either disgusted or surprised.

"Umm...." Todd said, unable to find his voice after that. "You-uh, you ok there Liz? Honey?" Todd said, squeezing her hand when he got no response.

Liz nodded scrunching her face. She didn't say anything, afraid that she would either start crying or throw up. She couldn't believe she would have to go through that. Not only did it look like it hurt, but the baby was so ugly, and so was the whole process.

"Ok, so then does anybody have anyone have any questions?" The instructor asked casually, clapping her hands, as if she'd seen that hundreds of times before, as she most likely had.

One woman with short platinum blonde hair in the class spoke up, "Is it always that disgusting?" She asked. A few people nodded their heads as if saying they had the same question.

"I'm afraid to say yes. We didn't all start out in the world as those cute little things that smile and gurgle." Their instructor casually said. Todd gave a short little snort as a laugh at that response.

Liz raised her hand shyly. She felt embarrassed for asking but she had to know, "What exactly does that feel like?" She asked. "I mean the whole business with bearing down?"

"Well it's a different experience for every woman, but it can be said that it's a lot like just period cramps a little more extreme. As for the bearing down, that's just the feeling that you need to get the baby out and it helps take your mind off the pain. Most women feel this right before they fully dilate, which we will be covering next week along with breastfeeding." She commented. "Were there any more questions about tonight's material though?" She asked the class, looking around again.

Todd shook his head, man, if that was just more than period cramps, then, he had totally underestimated just how bad a woman's period was. He suddenly had a lot more respect and compassion for PMS.

"Alright then, let's get started on our breathing practices." She said. "Dads, can you please get your wives in the correct positions, then go ahead and get yourself into position too. And please get out your focus points." She reminded them.

Todd reached for the bag, and unzipped it, "So what do you want to try tonight?" He asked Elizabeth as he rummaged around in it. "The picture you brought of me?" He asked with a smile, raising his eyebrows at her.

Liz shook her head. She wasn't in the mood for his joking. "Give me the stuffed teddy bear." She told him.

"Alright, but I think the picture of me is cuter." Todd joked. But he got what she asked for out. Todd helped her get in the correct sitting position, and held the teddy bear up, and watched as her eyes focused.

Liz focused her eyes on the teddy bear and listened to her breathing. She always felt stupid doing this. It was like pretending to do lifeguard rescues. At the time it never seemed important, but she knew that in the labor room it would help. The theory was that a woman in labor can condition her responses to contractions through breathing and imagery to minimize her pain.

Todd listened to the "hee-hee-hoo, hee-hee-hoo" coming from all the women in the room. He wondered how much this stuff actually helped. But he knew the reason why fathers were supposed to come to this class. They were there to learn how to support the mothers-to-be, so that's what Todd would do.

"Good job Liz! That sounds perfect, keep it up!" He said, shaking the teddy bear. "Oops, sorry, I should probably keep that still huh?" He realized. Then all of a sudden that image of the baby's slimy head as it made its way out of the birth canal popped into his mind, and he froze. Damn, something told him that image was going to forever be

imbedded into his head.

Liz looked at Todd. He seemed to be in a daze ever since the movie and she couldn't help but notice. She tapped him on the shoulder, "Pay attention!" She scolded him.

"Sorry!" Todd said, snapping out of it. It was ironic, since he was here to keep her focused. "Man that was disgusting huh?" Todd said in a whisper, so that the instructor wouldn't hear. It was obvious Todd was more hung up on the grossness of it than the painfulness of it. And that of course was because he was the one watching the birth, not

actually taking a part in it.

"It wasn't that bad. I mean I'm sure you've seen stuff worse than that, you do coach high school boys remember? I'm more worried about the pain." Elizabeth replied. The instructor looked over at them and instantly Liz stopped talking and continued her breathing. This was stupid she thought. All she learned to do in this class was to breath funny like a cow, and she already know she looked like one so it certainly didn't help her self esteem any.

Todd didn't get it either. "Keep breathing sweetie, that's good." Todd said playing the act. This was all fake. Liz thought to herself. She could even hear it in Todd's voice. But she continued to do her breathing, although she was certainly ready to quit. She was starting to get hungry. She knew she should have had something before she came. She switched her visualization form the teddy bear to the mental picture of Todd eating those tacos in the kitchen about an hour ago. Finally, after what seemed like hours later the instructor said that was good and that they could stop for the night.

"So you did well tonight Liz." Todd said fifteen minutes later as they were driving home. "I'm sorry I'm going to miss the breastfeeding class next week. Jess will have to fill me in on what I miss."

Liz rolled her eyes. "I'm going to breastfeed so maybe you should try to be there," She replied, hopeful that maybe he'd consider getting someone to fill in for him coaching.

"Well, sorry." Todd said, not feeling the need to hide his feelings. "That falls on Wednesday. Besides, I mean, what can the father really do to help in the breastfeeding act? Do you need me cheering you on for that too, like breathing?" Todd lightly joked.

"You're going to feel pretty lost then." Liz said. She was starting to get irritated that he was making fun of this. "No." She said, deciding to answer his question. "But you could at least show some support. You will have a lot to do with it you know." She said sadly, hoping that he would change his opinions about breastfeeding. "It's hard to

breastfeed! Do you think it's the most comfortable thing in the world to experience? It's best for the baby though Todd and I would hope that you would encourage me on this one."

"Geez, I'm sorry Liz. I wasn't trying to rile you up." Todd explained. "I just, I don't know- that was a pretty heavy night, and I just wanted to lighten things up. And of course you know that I'm going to be supporting you in each and every step of the birthing process and the raising process. I've been there every step of the pregnancy process so far and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon, okay?"

"Yeah, but please don't joke about this." Liz said. She turned around in her seat and faced the window, her hands resting gently on her stomach.

"Liz......" Todd said, moving his hand to her shoulder and squeezed it as he used the other hand to drive. "I'm sorry. I promise not to joke about this." He told her. "But please, lighten up about it okay sweetie? You're only going to make yourself sick with stress."

"How can I lighten up about it? I'm the one that has to shoot a baby the size of a watermelon out of my body through a hole the size of a lemon!" She exclaimed, almost breaking down in tears.

Todd smiled, "Sweetie, it's going to be alright. I'll be there with you while you go through it all. You know that I'd do it for you if I could." Todd said to her, as she seemed to finally be incorporating humor into her apprehension. Then of course once again that disgusting picture from the film shot through Todd's mind and he grimaced and

swallowed shakily.

Intently, she watched his face. She had never realized that her husband was this light headed and had such a queasy stomach. She certainly knew she didn't want him to faint, or worse puke, in the delivery room. She knew she wouldn't have a hard time keeping him away from the foot of the bed in the room when it came time.

Authors Note: Just two more chapters until D-Day (Delivery Day!) ;-)

Hope you're enjoying everything leading up to it! We certainly enjoyed writing

it!