A/n: Oh my giddy pig's trousers.

Thank you too all the wonderful reviews everyone, you have no idea how it keeps us going. Noodlez and Duckie are also extremely flattered with Mary Mary Quite Contrary and her sister for being fans and making T-shirts. Noodlez had an extra bag of Oreos to celebrate.

It has been too log since an update and for that I am terribly sorry. Busy bumble bees we are and time is money. But here it is at long last, Chapter 4!

Disclaimer:

Bond: We don't own Harry Potter, any of the characters, or their wonderful world of magic--

Duckie: --even though we would love to say we did--

Bond: --and we occasionally find ourselves sucked into the fantasies--

Duckie: --it just isn't true, so we still own nothing...

Bond: And we are not responsible for anything either...

Both look to where Noodlez is busy mounting the decapitated heads of Wormtail and Bellatrix Lestrange on the wall

Bond: Well, ok, we ARE responsible for not keeping our friend on a leash...

Duckie: But THAT jerks thumb at Noodlez and the trophy heads was well worth letting her out of the straight jacket for an hour!

Chapter Four:

[scene: believe it or not, I almost forgot to put this in here this time! Oopsie! Well, the scene's the same, so I guess it doesn't matter. Continue reading!]

....fat hairy man with his hairy belly hanging over his too-tight pants appeared out of nowhere. Duckie noticed that he had tiny wings on his back. Bond (.....Evan Bond.) noticed that it looked like he had not shaved since yesterday morning. Noodlez noticed that one of her little woodland friends was purple with blue polka dots, and began to wail at the indignity of the world that she should be such good friends with someone who had "Purple Skin and Blue Polka Dot Disease". Duckie decided to find out who the hairy dude was, while Bond (......Evan Bond.) decided to comfort Noodlez.

"Who are you?" Duckie asked the man while Bond (.......Evan Bond.) handed Noodlez a bag of Oreos and Noodlez sat down promptly and ate the whole bag before remembering that her stomach could not digest plastic (she'd forgotten to take the cookies out of the bag).

"My name is Fairy," said the man. "Costume Fairy," he added, grinning at an imaginary camera.

"HEY!" shouted Bond (......Evan Bond.) at Fairy Fairy.). "THAT'S MY TRADEMARK, YOU DIRTY ROTTEN TRADEMARK STEALER!" Bond (.......I'm getting tired of this so I'll stop now.) then jumped on top of Fairy and the two were immersed in an interesting battle, in which they were both fighting over the imaginary camera. Noodlez was rolling on the ground, choking on her tongue because she'd suddenly forgotten how to swallow, and Duckie was wishing she had some help. As if on cue.......

"DUCKIE!" someone shouted. Duckie looked over her shoulder and saw........

"RON!"

She ran over to him and threw her arms around him in a big hug.

"It's good to see you, Duckie," Ron said. "Hogwarts is quite boring without you and Noodlez."

"I've missed you too!" said Duckie, wiping away her happy tears and releasing Ron. "I've been getting so depressed about it that I've been sleeping in bowls of soup over it! I missed you and Harry and Hermione so much!"

Just then, Duckie realized that two of her friends were missing. "Where ARE Harry and Hermione?" she asked, worried that they might need rescuing.

"They're back at Hogwarts, telling anyone who asks that I'm in the bathroom," Ron explained. "Now, I'll explain what's going on at Hogwarts as soon as we help Noodlez and.......who's that other girl with the turban on her head?"

"Bond.........Evan Bond," said Duckie while Ron gave her a quizzical look. "Don't ask," she added.

So Duckie rushed over to Noodlez and showed her, slowly, using no words over three syllables, how to swallow properly, and Ron ran over to Fairy and Bond and told them that if they couldn't settle the fight over the imaginary camera, he'd cut it in half with some imaginary giant scissors and they could each keep one half.

"NO!" shouted Evan Bond. "I couldn't bear to see the imaginary camera get chopped into two where it could no longer capture my turban-ish face on screen. Let the fat dude take it!"

"All right then, since Bond...Evan Bond likes the camera enough to not see it get chopped in half, she may keep it," settled Ron.

"But you would've given it to her anyway because without it the story wouldn't be as funny!" whined Costume Fairy.

"I know," said Ron with a grin.

"Fine, then I'm not going to help you with my excellent fashion sense and disguise wardrobe!" said the fairy.

He stuck out his tongue and with a snap of his toes he was gone.

"Great," Duckie muttered darkly. "Now how are we going to go to Hogwarts if we can't disguise ourselves?"

"What's going on at Hogwarts anyway?" asked Noodlez, staring at her fingers and wondering how the fingernails stayed attached and didn't fall off and plumet to their falling death on the very hard ground.

"Well," said Ron, "Draco Malfoy's ghost had joined forces with Mr. Filch and........it's too awful to explain."

He buried his face in his hands and Evan Bond placed a comforting arm on his shoulders.

"Never fear!" she said. "For Bond........Evan Bond, is here!" She grinned at the imaginary camera.

"You know," said Ron looking at Bond skeptically, "I have a feeling I'm going to regret not chopping up that imaginary camera with my imaginary giant scissors."

"You know it!" said Bond with a grin that plainly said "Yes, I am wearing a turban on my head and I am proud to be doing so!" even if she didn't voice her feelings aloud.

"The school must be unusually clean and tidy!" shouted Noodlez in disgust as Ron nodded his head in agreement.

"And evil! Don't forget about when we read Umbridge's diary and she told us about the affair she was having with Mr. Filch!" Duckie joined in as Ron also agreed with her.

"And without any imaginary cameras! Because I have the only one in existence!" said Bond (.....Evan Bond. Sorry, I felt like saying that again!). Ron, though confused about what made Bond so attached to her imaginary camera, also had to agree with that.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?!" shouted Duckie, who could not wait another minute to get back to Hogwarts. "Let's get going!"

"But how will we get there?" asked Noodlez. "And how will we disguise ourselves?"

Everyone stared at her in shock. Noodlez never thought of practical things like methods of transportation to get to Hogwarts and how to disguise themselves since they were no longer allowed on Hogwarts grounds (I'm just joking with you, Noodlez, you know I luv ya! ).

"Well, we can go the way I got here," suggested Ron. "And how was that?" asked the Duck. "I skidooed into that there painting like they do on Blue's Clues," said Ron, pointing to a terribly convenient painting of Hogwarts Castle that was lying on the ground a few feet away.

Noodlez gasped happily and took out her Handy Dandy Notebook. She hugged it close, for it was her most treasured possession.

"And you and Noodlez can dress like Blue and Magenta, and Bond can just go as herself," said Ron, happy with his brain.

"Well that's a crazy idea!" said Bond, hands on her hips in a super hero stance. "So crazy......it just........might..............work!"

So Noodlez disguised herself as Blue (excitedly) and Duckie disguised herself as Magenta (worried that pink was not her color), and everyone began to do the goofy dance the Steve and whatever the hell the new guy's name is on Blue's Clues do and said, "BLUE SKIDOOED! WE CAN TOO!"

There was some goofy music and they found themselves on Hogwarts grounds slightly off-balance just in time to see.............

We'll leave you right here for the moment and don't worry, it won't take nearly as long for the next chapter.

Don't forget to review!