Prologue
I opened my eyes to the cool morning air. The sunlight scorched my eyes at first, but after a series of blinking and wiping the ceiling came into focus. I raised my arms above my head, and arched my back feeling the sweet slight pain of my muscles being extended from their stiff state. I swallowed the only spit left in my dry mouth from the night before and felt it all over again. The pain and emptiness that I had been running from for three years.
After all this time I could still smell her hair, taste her lips, and feel her satin smooth skin up against mine. Her eyes still sparkled in my memory and her laughter still rings through my ears. Her smile was as bright as the hot sun on a hot North Carolina afternoon; her sense of adventure and pure joy for fun is what kept me going.
I wrote her 365 letters, the last being my attempt at a farewell, but it still hurts the same, no matter how much I work on this old house. It was supposed to be our house. The white house with blue shutters and a wrap around porch so she could paint and be free. And I promised her and I will finish it. But what to do with it, I'm not sure. Probably sell it.
Chapter One
The seats were hard and the air wasn't working. I had been on this god- forsaken bus for two days now, watching as the world passed me by. With the funeral staying fresh in my memory I couldn't help but think how this was going make my life easier. All these years and I thought that daddy and I told each other everything, and I had to find out from some tight wound lawyer that he had a house with a friend in North Carolina that I was now supposed to go live with. The will said that this 'friend' and my father had known each other since childhood years. So here I sit. Hot, tired, hungry and on my way to place I know not, to live with a man I have never met.
The bus finally pulled into transit about two hours later. The big 'Welcome to North Carolina' sign about an hour back, was like a punch in the stomach that this was now my reality and my life. It seemed like a small town, but acquainted.
I waited my turn to get off the bus as I let the older couple and a group full of children exits the bus first. I stepped off the bus and felt the warm breeze kiss my cheek and I thought I felt heaven. I walked over and retrieved my baggage from underneath the bus and looked around for some direction. I saw a small diner across the way and picked up my heavy bag and made my way.
As I looked at others in this town, however humble it might be. Their every day attire was like my Sunday's best. I swayed my hips a little as I took the curb with ease and felt more then out of place when I stepped inside that diner. I looked around as everyone stared and found an open table for one in the back. I swerved in and out of the tables trying my hardest not to bump anything, I made it back to the open table and placed my bag down and a took a seat, removing my red hat and placed it a top my suit case and picked up the menu.
"Can I help you?" A young voice asked. My eyes skimmed the menu, I was a little frightened to look up and see what was in front of me.
"Um, yes can I please have a turkey on rye with light mayo, and an iced tea?" I asked finally closing the menu and seeing my waiter. It was a young boy. Didn't look much past thirteen.
"Yes, would you like your tea sweetened?" He asked with a nervous smile. I smiled back and nodded and added a thank you as I began to remove my gloves.
My heart was heavy, but I didn't let it show. I sat, as I was taught, back straight, legs crossed underneath me and chin parallel to the floor. When people began to stare and decided to sit more comfortable letting the arch in my back slide out and my head just hanging normal like.
The young man brought my food and I paid him for it. I ate just damn near everything and would have licked that plate if I knew people weren't watching me. I finished off my tea, and headed outside with my bag in tow. I waited nearly an hour before a taxicab picked me up to which I made carry my bag the three feet to the truck and got in the car, once again sitting. I gave him the address and tried to relax, as the seats were more comfortable then the old bus.
As he took different roads and made several turns, my stomach began to tie it's self into knots. I did not know this man from the one that was driving me around in this car. I ran my hand over the leather, with its smooth texture under my bare fingertips.
The countryside was absolutely beautiful. The trees were tall, some bendy some straight. The bushes were full and big, and the flowers were brightly colors and seemed exotic from what she was used to. The road that leads up the driveway to my fate was accompanied by a shaded older bridge and house that was charming and humble. The land in front of it stretched out as far as you could see.
The driver stopped a few feet from the path, and told me it was four dollars and fifty cents. It was the most expensive and nerve-wrecking ride I have ever taken. He helped take my bag out of the trunk and then turned around and headed off. It looked as if no one was home, my stomach began to turn again and I wasn't quite sure of what to do until I hear a creaking on the porch behind me. "Can I help you?" A man with a very heavy country accent asked. He was holding a pipe in one hand, while the other hand resided in his pocket. I took a deep breath and preceded to brave the distance between us, closing it with ever step I took. I got to the stairs and reached in my bag.
"Are you Nathaniel Calhoun?" I said with a shaky voice. I looked up from my paper to seem him examining my face.
"It depends on who wants to know? You ain't government, are ya?" He asked putting the pipe in his mouth. I smiled.
"No sir, I believe you knew my father, Jacob Madison?" I said watching the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile and then fade slowly as he realized what my presence meant. He came down the stairs towards me with sadness and hurt in his eyes.
He stood in front of me and searched my eyes. It appeared he was trying to find something. Like he knew me, he was just trying to remember me.
"Oh my god, Abby? I mean Abigail?" He stuttered taking the pipe from his lips and saw his eyes begin to tear. My heart was racing and the way he said my name made me wonder if I had known this man.
"Yes, that is my name." I said looking at him for an explanation. I saw him swallow hard and take a deep breath.
"You look just like him you know." He said smiling slowly taking hold back his emotion. I felt for this man and I didn't really even know him. He reached down for my bag and gave me his elbow, and reluctantly took it and followed him into the house.
He held the door open for me and let me walk through first. I entered and there was the kitchen and living room, parted only by a single slime wall. To the left there was an old staircase and past that seemed to be more of the house. It was humble and cozy, but foreign to her all the same.
"I know it's not much, compared to that big ole dorm room in New York, but it's a home, your home now." He said walking my suitcase over to the bottom of the steps. I looked around and found his generous eyes staring at me fondly.
"This is more then kind of you, but I'm a little tired, do you mind if I rest for a while?" I said realizing that not only had I traveled two days on no sleep, but also I had just dropped an emotional blow to this man. And if he were anything like daddy, to which he seemed to be, he would need sometime to himself to clear his thoughts. He smiled and motioned for me to follow him. Once at the top of the stairs there was a hallway and two doors, one on each side, and then at the end another staircase. The walls were a pale blue with a few framed pictures hung on the walls. The floor was solid oak and well taken care of. He stopped in front of the door all the way at end of the hall, right next to the stairs she wondered about. He opened the door and walked in while she stared at the stairs.
"Excuse me, Mr. Calhoun, where do those go?" She asked getting his attention after he closed the curtains for her in her room. He came to the door and looked at the stairs.
"Oh, that's Noah's room." I must have given him a strange look, because he laughed and pulled out his wallet.
"My son, Noah. He's out fighting that god forsaken war. This picture is kinda old, he was ten here." He said passing the picture over to me, still kinda staring at me as if still not sure if he had seen me before.
"You must miss him." I said giving it back after looking at the smiley little guy in the picture. He took it back and placed it back in his back pocket.
"Yeah, I just pray he comes back." He said shaking the bad thoughts out of his head, and laid his hand out to welcome me into my new room.
It was bigger then I imagined, and not a lot in there. Just a bed, a vanity, and a desk, right behind the door was another door that lead to her own bathroom. It had two windows on either side of her bed and the curtains blew freely in the wind. It was a beautiful shade of periwinkle. And on top of the dresser in the corner there was a vase.
"Well, just come on down when you are ready." He said and began to back out the door, I couldn't just let him leave.
"Mr. Calhoun?"
"Please, Abigail, I would be very honored if you would call me Nate." He said with a perked smile and loving eyes, I felt stupid and utterly rude.
"I'm sorry, Nate. I just wanted to thank you, for your hospitality." I said feeling about an inch tall.
"Abigail..."
"Abby, please." I said smiling back at him.
"Abby, your father was like the brother I never got to have. It is a pure pleasure to have you here. Now rest up and I will get started on dinner." He said grabbing the door handle and closing it, winking before it shut all the way. I took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. It really was a beautiful room. It was then that the beautiful room began to spin and took off my lace up shoes and stockings and lay down. No sooner then my head it that pillow, I was a sleep. I was only awakened by the fresh smell of maple syrup and the chilly breeze drifting in her windows. She sat up and stretched, again inhaling the sweet smell of maple syrup. I quickly slipped my footwear back on and made my way back down the stairs.
It was now dark outside and the crickets began to sing their evening song. The light shone on the kitchen table, set for two and I heard movement and humming from the kitchen.
I walked carefully not to make too much noise, wanting to see what was going on. I walked into the archway and saw Mr. Calhoun in an apron at the stove. He turned around to bring something to the table and saw her.
"Well Hello, you hungry?" He asked placing the plate of hot pancakes on the table.
"Starving? Isn't this breakfast?" I asked sitting down to the pancakes, sausage, bacon, and hash browns, but smiling at my favorite meal of the day.
"Yeah! Hell yeah! You can have pancakes at any damn time of the day you please! Well at least in my house you can." He winked and stuffed his mouth full of pancake. His silly gesture made me laugh and began to fill up my plate.
The rest of the night we laughed, shared memories of daddy and just learned a little bit more about one another. Like I never knew that he and my daddy used to work at the local lumber mill for years before he met my mother. And the fact that they both served in the same war.
It was kinda funny cause daddy always spoke of Nate Calhoun, and good times they had but never really of the times before he knew my mother. He told me about them joining the army together, how he was there when Nate met his wife and things of when they were grown adults. Never stories how he was when he was little.
He told me about the lazy afternoons on the river, and how they would steal his fathers boat and just paddle out to the middle of the river and pull an anchor and fish, or swim with the ducks that passed by. They found this one spot up the river, where they built a swing over the river where they could swing and let go, dropping care freely into the cool river below.
I felt sad to learn all these stories of my father and this newly found friend. I mean why had daddy never told me about this place or Nate? Or how close they were? From the way that Uncle Nate had been talking he and my daddy were inseparable, why would he hide that?
It was late and we were both yawning until there was nothing left between us, no conversation, just yawning it was time for bed. I had to ride the bus into town tomorrow and get the schooling all set up at the local college in town, and from what I was told the first bus came at seven in the morning.
"Well Uncle Nate, I think I better head on up to bed. I'll see you tomorrow?" I said placing my hand on his shoulder. He put his hand over mine and smiled.
"Okay, I'll see you in the morning, you sleep tight now." He winked and went back to rocking in this chair and staring out at the lake yards in front of him.
I went upstairs and changed into sleepwear and climbed in bed, with good feelings about my new place and new company. Mr. Calhoun was funny, charming, and down to earth and all around educated. He and I were going to get along just fine.
Chapter Two
It had been a month since my arrival here in Seabrook, and I was adapting well. I had started my first semester at Harrison College. It was a whole town over from where Seabrook was, but it didn't matter to hear because Harrison College had the better writing program, and that's what Abby wanted. She had always wanted to be a writer. Ever since her father first read her Hemingway. He read to her every night when she was a little girl. Then as she and he got older the tables switched and she would read to him.
So between her full class load over at the college, working in the only hotel that Seabrook had, and helping uncle Nate around the house her days were full, but her nights with uncle Nate were what she treasured the most. At night after dinner, the workers that worked down the road and in town would all come over and we would sit on the porch, they would play music and good times were had into the night. Then after everyone left I would read to uncle Nate and then he would go to bed and I would clean up the kitchen and the rest of the house then attend to homework and then sleep my self. It was routine and expected but there was something about this old house and this place that felt right and more importantly like home.
My days were full and busy, but they were happy times for me. Uncle Nate was good company and were had formed a special bond, one that I held closely. He missed his son Noah, to which he told me about as well. About how proud of him he was, and how much he was like his mother. I could tell when he spoke of Noah that he missed him deeply. He often would get sad and want to be alone after speaking of him and it made her curious. One lazy Sunday afternoon, after we had cleaned the house and went fishing, it was a summer day, and we sat beneath a bog oak tree in the front of house about fifty feet out. I was reading to him, I finished the chapter and noticed he had a look upon him that trouble me.
"Uncle Nate, are you alright?" I asked placing the book down marking the end of the chapter where I had left off.
"Noah would love this." He simply stated followed by a deep sigh.
"Uncle, may I ask you something?" I decided that my curiosity was going to kill me, so I decided to be brave, the worst that could happen is I would get shot down.
"You know you can ask me anything Abby." He said still looking out at the water and the tall grass dance with in the winds grasp. I took a deep breath and chose my words closely.
"I have noticed that every time we speak of Noah or his mother, you often become sullen and saddened, why?" I asked not knowing if I would retain a response from him or not.
"There are certain things about a man knowledge, that can make him many things. Some happy, some mad, and some sad. You see after my wife passed away when Noah was only seven, I promised him and her that I would never let him down, and I would never let him hurt. It was hard to watch him that year after he graduated. He went through so much and I couldn't do anything to help him. The same thing that happened to me was now happening to the person I loved most in this world and I was devastated." He paused and I could tell from his tone he was really angry and disappointed in himself.
"What happened to him?" I asked not knowing if I should have or not. He looked up to me as I sat next to him. The first time since we had settled under this big old tree, his eyes detached from the water. I wasn't sure how to take the look he was giving me. It was worried, angry, and a about a handful of other emotions swirling around all at once. He took a deep breath and spoke lightly at first.
"It was the summer after he graduated from high school. Boy, I was proud of him for that. And then while most of the boys in town were running around town having a good time, my boy went out and got a job at the lumberyard. When he came home and told me that, I just about fell over dead. I didn't understand why he would do that, until he took me to his reason." He paused.
"His reason?" I questioned a little confused at that part of this story.
"After supper one night, he took me out to this old plantation house that had been sitting on empty for about twenty or so years. He had found it one day while he and friend had been playing in the area. Looking at it, it was a mess. It basically needed to be rebuilt from the ground up. I had no idea what he saw in that old house, but the sparkle and look in his eyes as I watched his show me everything and explained what he was going to do. It was his dream house. He told me one of these days, he was going to own that house and he would fix it up and we would live in it together. That's what sparked him to work. I always taught him he had work for what he really wanted."
"It's a good lesson, one daddy thought I should learn as well." I half smiled thinking about my father and his smile.
"It was that summer that they met." I was again lost, so I pushed a little more.
"They?"
"He met Allie Nelson. She was this beautiful, smart, funny and charming girl. They met at the town carnival. He didn't want to go, but I convinced him it would be a good idea, and he went. He told me he saw her on the bumper cars. She was definitely from a different class then we were. He said when he saw the smile and her free spirit on that ride he knew there was something different about her. Yeah she was beautiful, but it wasn't that attracted him to her it was those eyes and smile. He asked her to dance and she turned him down." He laughed a little remembering Noah telling him this story that night when he got home, he was so excited and ready for love, the same look when he had met Noah's mother all those years ago.
He proceeded to tell me the story of Allie and Noah. The whole summer they were inseparable once she gave him a chance. How he finally won her over by lying in the middle of the street watching the stop lights change. He taught her to be free from her parents' high expectations, and she taught him how to laugh and love.
He also told me how things ended and I couldn't help but feel for him. Though they were only words, the way he told me what Noah was going through, I felt for him, even had a little pain in my chest for him. I had never felt a love like that before and was pretty sure it wasn't coming anytime soon.
"Uncle Nate, may I speak freely with you?" I asked adjusting my self for my foot was starting to tingle; he shook his head and sat up right.
"Although I have never felt a love for someone as you and Noah have I honestly think you cannot blame your self for what happened to Noah."
"Oh really, and why is that?" He asked intrigued by my epiphany. I swallowed and tried to be careful to talk slowly. Sometimes when I got nervous I tended to talk fast and ramble on.
"Yes, daddy always said that pain is love and love is pain. He always told me that they are a pair you can't one without the other. Noah and Allie chose to fall in love and they knew that the summer wouldn't last forever, and still they chose to love one another with their whole heart." I explained breathing deeply after that.
"But I went through the same thing with his mother and I didn't want him to go through what I did for love."
"Yes, but it would have happened with another. If not Allie, it would have been some other lovely girl. You can't tell someone whom to love or when, you know that you had your wife Rachel. And I know it's not the same or mean anything coming from me, but Noah had to live his life. He had to find his own path, as you once did." He took a long time to look at me then returned his eyes back to the water. Silence fell between us for a few minutes before he spoke again.
"For someone who has never been in love before, you sure know a lot. They teach you up there at that school?" He half smiled and then threw the rock he had been messing with back into the grass, and helped me up from where we had been sitting. It was about suppertime so I headed back up to the house to start the food and uncle Nate folded up the blanket and went to the shed before dinner.
We sat down to dinner, uncle Nate said a prayer from Noah and then we ate, with small talk and jokes made, it was pleasant, they prepared the porch for our nightly guests.
After the sounds of the music and laughter faded, I told uncle Nate to go upstairs and head to bed I would wrap things up down here.
"Look Abby, I just wanted to say thank you for this afternoon. Sometimes an old dog needs to be re trained." He said holding her face in his rough hands and pulled her forehead towards his lips and placed a simple kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes as my father used to say goodnight as well.
"How many times do I have to tell you? You are not old, just handsome." I smiled genuinely, and watched him go up the stairs.
I cleaned up the porch, the kitchen then headed upstairs for some reading on a lecture I was having in my first class tomorrow morning. But that was mission impossible for the story of Noah and Allie heavy on her mind; she ached to know what it was like. To see them together, to know what could have been, but mostly to feel that kind of love from another person as well as to love someone like that, with your whole heart.
I finally made my brain and heart stop running a million miles an hour, and I settled into my soft white cotton sheets and let my head sink into my fluffy pillow and closed my eyes wishing for a chance at a love like Noah and Allie had.
Chapter Three
I have found the greatest thing about living here in Seabrook is the afternoons in the fall. I love this time. The afternoons are warm, not hot and breezy. The breeze that comes through in the afternoons is right out of a dream. I started walking home from college when fall hit because it was my favorite time of the year.
Some how I blinked and four years had passed. I was in my senior year at Harrison, and getting ready to graduate. I had no clue what I was going to do when I did graduate. I mean uncle Nate was getting older and he had been my companion for the past four years. We had laughed, cried, and yelled together. He had become like a second father to me and there was no way that I could leave him. I was still working at the inn and was content with it for now. But my dreams were bigger. I had always wanted to work at a paper or magazine. I wrote for the school paper for three years, and loved every minute of it. The feeling of writing and having others like what you write is a feeling I don't think I have ever tried to describe cause I didn't think I could do it, which usually shocks people because I'm an English major. At times it often frustrates me! Still, to have a career were I could do exactly what makes me feel alive would be a feeling I couldn't imagine, but will never happen cause I will never leave uncle Nate.
I reached our long drive way and everything was normal. Uncle Nate was fooling around in the tool shed when I got home.
"Hey, I'm home." I said kissing his cheek as he sanded down a table he wanted to refinish for Noah's room.
"Hey princess. How were classes?" He asked taking off the gloves he wore.
"They were fine. My final is in two weeks and then I graduate the week after that. Table looks like it's coming along nicely?" I semi asked taking notice that he had a lot more sanding to do but it was coming along.
"Yeah, should be done soon." He said smiling from ear to ear.
"Say you look like you could use some lemonade. I made some last night you want some?" I said with a wide smile knowing that he looked a little tired and hot. He smiled back and followed me in the house. He changed out of his work clothes and plopped down on the porch swing he made and I helped him paint and hang a couple of weeks ago. I brought him a tall glass of lemonade with ice cubes and sat myself in the old rocking chairs across from him. We sat and talked for about an hour and I noticed something was off about him.
"What's wrong Uncle Nate, something is off, is everything all right?" I asked concerned and worried.
"There's something I gotta tell you Abby..."
"You never call me Abby anymore, what's wrong?" I asked, the pace in my breath picking up and my heart started to race. He looked down to his half empty glass and struggled with in him self to get the words out. It was then he just stopped and looked up slowly. If I had to put my life on it I would have swore he was looking straight at me, and softly muttered "Noah" And bolted off the porch. It was then that my head snapped over my shoulder to watch him run towards a slender man in a dark brown uniform.
"Noah?" I muttered and stood up and watched the two men fly in each other's arms and felt a little more out of place. I went inside and went up to my room to get something and let them have some time to one another.
"Hey dad." Noah said happy to his face after five long years. He felt home and safe.
"Hey, how are you? Let me look at you, there's no blood coming out of anywhere is there? You look good." Nate was so excited that he rambled on and on after making Noah go in circles making sure all of him came back. Nate looked into his son's smile and knew he had to tell him now or he would burst.
"Come here." He grabbed his son and dragged him back into the house. He walked in and waited for his father to turn around.
"Here." His father handed him a check with an amount Noah had only ever dreamed about making at the paper mill.
"What is this?" Noah asked confused and still stunned by the amount in his hand.
"It's yours, take and go fill your dreams." He said smiling so big his cheeks were hurting but he didn't care.
"Dad what are you taking about, what dream?"
"Your dream. I sold the house, that's enough money for you to rebuild her from the ground up, that's enough for your plantation dream house." He said looking to his shoes for a few minutes.
"Dad you sold the house? I can't take this..."
"Yes you can, it's already done. The plans for the new house are al ready for you to pick up in Charleston everything is a done deal. I already spoke to the bank and they are gonna give you the loan, so just go." Noah looked down at the check and then his father and wrapped his father in a bear hug.
"Thank you dad." Noah said patting his father lovingly on the back.
"Wait, dad where are you gonna live?" Noah asked seriously.
"With you dummy, where do you think I was gonna live!" They had a good laughter together. I heard every word and every laugh they shared together and packed my bags. When I had everything I came down the stairs disrupting the bonding. Both turned and looked at me as my heals made noise on the stairs.
"Abby, what the hell are you doing?" Uncle Nate asked me, I took a deep breath and passed him an envelope with some money in it.
"Here, this should cover for the time that you have let me stay here. I appreciate it I really do. Good luck with your house." I said and then walked out the front door.
"ABBY!" Uncle Nate screamed after me as he started after me. Noah nodded towards me and looked at his father with confusion.
"Abby would you just wait, please?" I heard behind me as I kept up my pace and tried to suck back the tears.
"It's fine Uncle Nate. I'll just stay at the Inn until after graduation and then move back to New York, Thank you for your kindness, have a nice life in your new house." I said not looking back.
"Would you please just stop." He begged so I stopped, but it was hard to keep still I was so angry and hurt. How could he? How could he just sell the house and not even tell me? Not ask me if I had anywhere to go.
"Abby, I'm sorry but after our talk the other day I thought this was the best. I mean you told me it was time for him to live his own life. And fill his own dreams. I never meant to hurt you." Nate said trying to catch his breath, I saw Noah walking up from behind. He was handsome, devilishly, but her focus was Uncle Nate right now and the hurt and anger she was feeling.
"I meant about his own love life and what he wants to do with it and to stop blaming your self for his choices, he's a grown man and can make his own choices for his love life." By this time Noah had caught up and was curious to know what the hell was going on. Uncle Nate had finally caught his breath.
"What's going on here?"
"Nothing, I was just leaving."
"Well who are you?" Noah asked looking for an introduction.
"Sorry, Abigail Madison. My father and your father were close most of their lives and my father's instructions after he passed was for me to come here, but I have stayed my time and now I am leaving." I turned to leave and saw his hand pop out, as if to shake my hand.
"I'm Noah Calhoun, it's nice to meet you." He said with a reassuring smile on his face. I shook his hand reluctantly.
"I know who you are. It's nice to meet you as well, I have heard a lot about you. Have a nice life and good luck with your new house." I said tried to walk away.
"What's going on here?"