Fate: Because I love you, you're getting two updates. Bit of a funny story attached to it, actually. Sat down last night and started chapter nine, I did. Finished it today. Checked the page count and went, "Hmm, well, it splits nicely in half to be my usual page count, and it ends what seems to be a chapter right there, too. And this story isn't exactly a long one either, either. Hmm indeed." And so, you have two chapters. Be happy.

Disclaimer: The people who write this don't really have problems with updating on time. We do. Do the maths. If you failed maths, then...well, you're kind of out of luck.

[in which mai makes a phone call]

"That was the most disturbing thing I've seen in a long time," Mai finally managed, eyeing her food with trepidation.

Jounouchi had no such restraint. "Mrf?" He swallowed, then continued, "Which of those highly disturbing moments do you mean?"

"Pretty much everything I've seen in the past twenty-four hours," Mai answered.

"I think I gotta agree with you on that one," Jounouchi said. He poked her plate. "I think it moved."

"I think so too." Mai reached over and stole some of Jounouchi's food instead. "Are you more than a little creeped out over that boy?"

"Kaiba or the blonde boyslut?" Jounouchi inquired. "Or are we talking Bakura-kun creepy? Because he definitely is that."

"Blonde boyslut," Mai specified. "I would ask how the albinos managed to find him, but I don't want to find out."

"They have names," Jounouchi said indignantly.

"Right, fine. I really don't want to shatter my perceptions of Bakura, so I don't want to know where he and the evil albino freak pulled up their blondie boyslut," Mai corrected.

"Better," Jounouchi said with a grin. "Bakura-kun's a really nice person. Just...distant. And dating a very, very disturbed man who happens to live in his mind on off days."

"Dating seems a little light, from what I noticed," Mai replied just as cheerfully.

Jounouchi choked, giving Mai the opportunity to steal some more food from his plate. "I don't want to think about that!" he squeaked.

Mai propped her chin on one hand and stared at a point to the right of Jounouchi's ear thoughtfully. "I wonder if they're both extremely vain or if they just don't notice that they're exactly alike? Or perhaps they're the kinky sort who shag with blindfolds."

Jounouchi dropped his head onto the table and made a few quiet whimpering noises, sending Mai into torrents of laughter. After a small amount of time was devoted to recovery for both parties, he lifted his head and looked at Mai thoughtfully. "So now that we've got him, what are we going to do with him?"

"You have a point there," Mai said regretfully. "We could have sent him off in a taxi with a box of condoms and a few sex toys, but I'm not too sure how well that would be received."

"Mmm. Me either," Jounouchi replied wisely. "It'd be damn useful to have someone on the inside right about now."

Blink.

Blink.

"Hang on a tick," Mai said, rooting about for her phone. "You know the number to KaibaCorp?"

Jounouchi already had his electronic planner out and was scrolling through it. "Here." He slid the PDA across the table, then scrambled around to listen to the phone conversation as Mai finished dialling the number.

"Good afternoon. I want to talk to Kaiba Mokuba," Mai said simply when the receptionist picked up. "Yes, I know him. No, I don't have an appointment. Of course he knows who I am. Yes, of course he'll talk to me. I'm Kujaku Mai, that's who I am! Yes, the duelist Kujaku. No, this isn't about the tournament. Yes, I'm sure it's Kaiba Mokuba I want to speak to. It's about his brother. No, I'm not a reporter! Look, can I just talk to him? No, I won't hold! All right, fine, if you won't put me on, I'm coming down there and I'm going to go talk to him in person!" Beep.

Jounouchi grabbed his PDA again as Mai signalled for the check. "Got the address."

"You're good," Mai said with a smile, rooting about for money to cover her share. The two blondes each slapped down some cash, then took off for the Bug.

The waitress blinked after them, looking mildly confused. "Now why on earth would they want to speak to Kaiba Mokuba?"

[-]

"Remember me?" Mai asked, leaning on the receptionist's desk.

"You...you're Kujaku Mai," the receptionist replied, looking bewildered.

"Yes, I am. I called," Mai said, batting her eyelashes. Jounouchi backed off prudently and let Mai do her stuff. "Now, listen, handsome. I know you were doing your job on the phone, but it's really urgent for the sake of the gorgeous blonde lurking in the corner and the sake of Kaiba Seto that I speak with his younger brother. It's all about the stress relief, you see."

"I see," the receptionist said, looking rather hypnotised. It wasn't every day that he had utterly hot, voluptuous blonde women draping themselves over his desk while wearing a corset and a very short skirt.

Maybe there was something to be said for low-level KaibaCorp positions after all.

"So, do you want to help me out?" Mai inquired.

"I, uh, I, sure," the receptionist stammered. "Let me put you through to his secretary."

"Aw, come on," Mai began. "Can't you just ring him up?"

"I...er, I suppose I could do that," the receptionist babbled, picking up the phone. "Eh, er, K-kaiba-sama? Th-there's a...a lady here to see you. And...and a boy," he added at Mai's meaningful look.

Pause. "I, uh, of course, sir. I'll send them right up." He hung up, then looked at Mai. "The, uh, the elevator down the hallway there, that leads to, uh, to where you're going. There's...there's only one floor on it, so you'll, you'll see where you're supposed to go."

"Thanks a ton," Mai said, easing off the desk. "You've been a lifesaver."

"I, uh, thanks?" the receptionist finally managed as Jounouchi and Mai set off down the hallway.

[-]

Mokuba was pacing in the hallways when the elevator dinged and slid open. He blinked, straightened up, and whirled to behold the blonde duo from the night before. "Hello," he said cheerily, waving. "So, you've got something new about my brother?"

"We found a lookalike Jounouchi," Mai said simply.

Mokuba gaped for a few seconds. "You're kidding."

"That's what we thought," Jounouchi piped up. "Who'da thought that Bakura-kun would've been able to find someone like me so fast, and in such a place?"

"What place are we talking about, now?" Mokuba inquired, sounding highly interested.

Jounouchi stared at Mokuba. "You can't be anywhere old enough for me to tell you that without your brother being more ready to kill me than he is."

"I'll give you that," Mokuba said easily. "But you can't be that much older than I am."

Jounouchi put his hands on his hips. "I'll be nineteen in just a few days, I'll have you know. That is certainly old enough for Mary-Sue's House of – oohshit," he finished, turning an odd shade of magenta.

"You manipulative little sod," Mai said to Mokuba appreciatively.

"I'm Seto's brother. What did you expect?" Mokuba replied. "Don't answer that," he ordered after a second.

"Fine then," Mai replied. "Do you have some place private where we could talk?"

Mokuba looked thoughtful. "Everything here is piped through the surveillance rooms. I doubt Seto-niisama would be pleased with us having our conversation here. Why not meet at the usual time and place?"

"One AM good for you?" Mai replied.

"That works for me," Mokuba agreed, inclining his head slightly. "And you?"

"I'm totally free," Jounouchi answered. "Can I get a ride?"

"Of course," Mai told him, looking slightly startled. "That gives us...what, nine hours to kill?"

"Sorry about that." Mokuba shrugged. "Bring your friends."

"Which ones?" Jounouchi asked.

"Heh. I ought to specify, oughtn't I?" A grinning Mokuba continued, "Perhaps your friends from the coffee shop, and perhaps your friends who found you your lookalike. And of course the lookalike himself."

Mai did some fast mental arithmetic. "Fitting everyone into my Bug is going to be interesting."

"I'd better call Bakura-kun now," Jounouchi said with a sigh. "Are you sure you want his yami to show up?"

Mokuba blinked. "Hang on, hang on, Yami no Bakura?"

"What, he's got more than one deranged man living in his mind?"

"I've had some not pleasant encounters with that deranged man, thank you," Mokuba said irritably.

Jounouchi raised one eyebrow. "How many times have you been a game piece?"

Mokuba thought about it. "Yami no Yuugi put me in a Shadow Game. And so did Seto-niisama, after a fashion."

"What about a Duel Monsters card?" Jounouchi demanded.

"Been there, done that," Mokuba added with a sigh. "That Crawford man was really not all there."

Jounouchi looked a bit miffed. "What are you, kidnapping bait?"

Mokuba began counting on his fingers. "Two Shadow Games, one stint as being a game card, kidnapped three times, re-kidnapped from my kidnappers twice, run into my exact likeness as a girl once – thank God it was only once – and have been used as a bartering piece two or three times. So yes, I am kidnapping bait. Especially for deranged crazy people who have gold jewellery from Egypt."

"Ah," Jounouchi answered. "That would do it."

"Wouldn't you think?" Mokuba agreed. He glanced at his watch. "Not to kick you out or anything, but I've got to fly out to the island to check on a few more things, and I believe my copter's finished being filled with gas."

"You're flying out by yourself? Damn," Jounouchi congratulated the boy.

Mokuba tossed his hair. "I'm not alone." He tapped the gun holster on one black denim-covered hip. "I've got my Magnum for company!"

"You are a scary, scary little kid," Jounouchi finally managed. "Always have been."

"So glad to hear it," Mokuba agreed sweetly. "Want me to drop you two off at the parking lot?"

"That would be nice," Mai said wistfully. "Why did you decide to make people park a good two kilometres from the main building?"

"That was Gozaburo," Mokuba said with a sneer. "Seto-niisama has this grand plan to rearrange the whole place so the parking lot is closer and some of our other less useful buildings are farther out, but he keeps getting too distracted with tournaments and stuff. He keeps this up and I'm going to steal the plans and do it myself," he added, sighing and heading for the door. "Coming?"

Mai and Jounouchi looked at each other for a second, then followed him along a hallway and out onto the helipad.

"We good?" Mokuba yelled up to a young woman sitting on the pilot side.

"All set, sir!" the woman called back, jumping down and handing him a clipboard.

Mokuba scanned it, then handed it back. "Thanks, Nuri-san."

"Any time, sir." The woman snapped a mock-salute, then stepped back into the building.

"C'mon," Mokuba said, jumping up into the pilot's seat and grabbing the headset. "It'll be fun, I promise."

Jounouchi warily climbed up into the copter, then gave Mai a hand up as well as Mokuba punched the chopper blades into rotation with a whoop.

A few dizzying minutes later, Mokuba touched down neatly on an open patch of asphalt near the Bug. "Here you are!"

"Thanks, kid," Mai told him, jumping out of the copter and attempting to smooth her hair. "You're a real sweetheart."

"Aww," Mokuba replied. "Most people say I'm some kind of demon from hell."

"Then maybe you have a split personality," Mai replied as Jounouchi jumped down next to her, his hair sticking up in all sorts of crazy directions. "See you tonight?"

"Tonight!" Mokuba agreed, lifting off again with a wave.

Mai and Jounouchi both craned to watch him go, then stared at each other again.

"He disturbs me too," Jounouchi finally said.

"I have to agree with you there," Mai answered, unlocking and opening her door. "So are you calling your freaky – er, Bakura-san and his shadow?"

"Just for kicks, yes," Jounouchi answered, punching the numbers in on his cell. "Thanks for letting me charge this, by the way."

"Hey, we're waiting until we're totally done with this Kaiba thing before we try and send you off to a truck stop to make phone calls and be hit on by bikers," Mai answered.

"Very funny. Damn answering machines," he added after a pause. "Hi, Bakura-kun, it's Jounouchi. Call me when you get this." Beep. "Well, now what do we do?"

Mai looked at her clock. Four forty-five in the afternoon. "I wonder if that Blaze boy is still hanging out outside my apartment."

"Oh, Lord," Jounouchi muttered as Mai put the car in gear and rocketed out of the lot.

[-]

"Blaze!"

Blaze looked up hopefully. "Hi there!" He jumped to his feet and ran up to the car, glancing at his lookalike. "Did I ever get your name?"

The lookalike blinked. "Jounouchi Katsuya. Blaze can't be your real name. Or can it?"

Blaze considered it. "Wellp, I don't really remember having much else of a name, so...I guess it is."

Jounouchi tilted his head back and forth. "Huh. Well, whatever works for you. Look, do you know the all-night coffee shop on Marandon?"

"That's near Mami-rin's corner," Blaze said thoughtfully. "I guess I know it."

"We're going there at one AM to meet Kaiba-sama's younger brother," the blonde girl called over Jounouchi's shoulder. "Do you know where the alb – Bakura-kun and his boyfriend are?"

Blaze looked thoughtful. "I think they might still be in the shrubberies. I'll go check."

"I'm closer," Jounouchi said, taking a step towards the shrubberies from the Bug.

"But I'm the whore," Blaze replied with a smirk, deftly stepping between Jounouchi and the bushes. "Aren't I in this to protect your innocence, Jounouchi-futago?" [1]

Jounouchi choked and climbed back into the car hastily as Blaze rattled the bushes. "Yoh!"

"Fuck off," Bakura retorted spiritedly.

"Are you lot decent yet?"

"We were never un-decent," Ryou said, poking his head out of the bushes. "Cross my heart."

Blaze immediately broke into a highly conspicuous coughing fit. "I'm sure," he managed after a long moment. "Anyway, your friends are back."

"So what?" Bakura snarled. "Oi, where are you going?"

"Yamiiii! Lemme go! Ack! Ow! Dammit, ow!"

"Shit! Shitfuckowshit! Ow! What'd I do? What is it?!"

"Goddammit! Get your fucking elbow out of my ribs or you're not going to have an elbow in five seconds! And get your teeth off my neck!" Ryou screeched, flailing about. "Ow! Ow!"

"I'm going to burn this bush," Bakura swore under his breath. Blaze's eyes widened and he backed away prudently, hitting the Bug as he did so.

"Care for a ride?" the blonde girl asked, her eyes just as wide.

Blaze dove into the back seat and stared some more. "They scare me."

"Don't worry about it." Jounouchi seemed to be the only one totally at ease. "They do this all the time. It's why Ryou tends to be a little more distant. He knows he's got this effect on people. Or, actually, his yami. Well, that is him. Or...something."

The three all stared at the bush some more.

After about five profanity-filled minutes, Ryou finally managed to drag himself out of the bush. All movement in the bush stopped as Bakura poofed serenely into existence next to him.

Jounouchi hung out the window once more. "So, uh, Bakura-kun. And deranged nutcase. And Blaze...futago," he finished, for lack of a better suffix. "And Mai-chan, of course," he added when the aforementioned girl glared. "We're meeting Kaiba's little brother at the coffee shop on Marandon at one AM. And you're all coming with us."

"That'll be a hell of a squish," Blaze observed.

Bakura wrapped one arm around Ryou's waist and rested his chin on the slighter boy's shoulder. "That thing seats four. What's the problem?"

Blaze raised his eyebrows. "I count five."

Bakura stared at him. Ryou stared at him. Jounouchi stared at him. Mai stared at a spot on her car roof.

"Oh. Right. Four. Forgot about that shiny thing."

"Mine," Bakura said possessively, using his other hand to grab onto the Millennium Ring resting on Ryou's chest.

"Yeah, yeah," Blaze agreed. "So how long do we have until this meeting?"

Jounouchi consulted his watch. "Seven hours or so?"

"Can I come back at, say, midnight?" Blaze inquired. "I've got some things to take care of. Errands and such. Making myself pretty. You know."

"Sure," Mai said, finally getting out of the car and slamming the door. Jounouchi followed suit, allowing her to lock and set the alarm on the car as well. "You lot staying or going?" she asked Ryou and Bakura.

The pair looked at each other thoughtfully. This was done with no small amount of difficulty, given their present entwined state.

"Or are you shagged out for the day?" Mai prompted.

Ryou turned an odd shade of magenta and squeaked. "I could, uh, I might have, uh, I...homework to do?" he finally managed.

Jounouchi stared at him. "You were a graduating senior in my class. What homework?"

"...summer reading?"

"It's July."

Bakura finally got bored with this back-and-forth and gazed meaningfully at Jounouchi with one of his higher-level 'this is the part where I EAT YOUR SOUL! AHAHAHAHA!' looks.

"Right. Homework it is," Jounouchi agreed, stepping behind the car for added protection. Ryou squeaked again.

"Midnight?" Bakura said carefully, still with the soul-eating expression firmly in place.

"Yes," Mai answered, as Jounouchi seemed incapable of speech.

"...when is that again?"

Ryou finally tugged free of his yami's grasp and started dragging him down the sidewalk. "Yami, you are such a ditz."

"I am not, you little shit!"

"Are too, fucktard."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"I'm not!"

"You are so a ditz."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you – mmmph!"

Cue the sweatdrops and the thanking of each individual god or gods that the pair had already turned the corner.

Fluffy: [1] Blaze is calling Jounouchi his 'twin', just to be...Blaze. )shrug(

Inuko Metallium: I try. ;;

lilmatchgirl007: Mai and Blaze? Hmm. Never considered that one. Wonder if I'd get killed for – )is pelted with various and sundry...stuff(

Kitten: Yes. Er. Yes.

Sailor Epyon: XD Now I want to write some kind of side-oneshot detailing Blaze, Ryou, and Bakura's meeting. )the various and sundry stuff is flung again(

Shadow of Arashi: Sorry, no. I am a supporter of SxJ, so...maybe once I get my life sorted out and all these effing fics under control, I'll be able to figure out something to that effect. )pokes pile of fics( )runs screaming when fics chase her across the room(

Shinnyu Kudzu: Thy wish is my command. XD Check the next chapter.

Liviania: Don't they just? I'm having fun with Ryou and Bakura, too. I don't need to be all serious and angsty with them. It's really fun. ;;

Flame Swordswoman: I like your nick. ;; Thanks!

Duel: Yo. Review.