SLADE
Saffy wasn't just the love of my life she was my best friend.
After what happened things changed it's like she's not even Saffy any more and I really want the old Saffy back. What I hate most of all is how quiet she is; before the accident she was always talking or laughing.
I never noticed her smile before but it the most beautiful smile I have ever seen; the smile of an angel that's what Elton used to say, that's what she reminds me of an angel with her fragile beauty, sometimes I think that she will break into a million pieces if I touch her.
The first time I saw her after the accident she was lying in a hospital bed, her skin was so pale it was nearly transparent, her eyes were shut and there wasn't a mark on her. I could feel panic rising in my throat as my eyes searched desperately for some sign of life from her motionless body. I breathed such a huge sigh of relief that I'm sure the whole hospital must have heard me as her eyelids fluttered and she opened her eyes. "Hey". She said softly smiling up at me.
"Hey babe". I had replied unable to return her smile as I pulled up a chair next to the bed. "Is Elton really p****d with us?" She had asked me as I looked at her and wondered how she could be bothered about Elton's car at a time like this.
"They told you, didn't they?" She had said her voice little more than a whisper. I nodded then unable to look at her because I knew I would bawl like a little kid if I did. "It's not your fault, it's just one of these things, fate or something". She told me her voice stronger now. It was then that I started to cry the tears coming hard and fast. "Please don't be sad, it's ok really it is". She tried to reassure me even though she was crying too.
I hated seeing Saffy cry more than anything, it tares me apart so I pulled myself together and I told her that I loved her and that some how we would get through this and she smiled at me through a veil of tears with a certainty I did not share.
SAFFY
My spinal cord was damaged in three places so the doctors told me not severed or completely crushed or even bruised but damaged; T1, which affects the movements in my hands and fingers, T12 which affects my abdominal muscles and in the lumber region which affects my legs.
I spent eight weeks laying flat on this horrible electrical bed which turned every three hours it reminded me of a torture device it was awful, they put me on drugs to control my bodily functions, pain medication which made me hallucinate, I couldn't do anything for myself at all not a single thing apart from breath and talk, the worst thing of all is how degrading it was having to be fed and washed it made me feel dirty and completely helpless worse than a baby.
The first good thing I can remember was my first shower when I was moved to the rehabilitation centre it was fantastic to have my hair washed and feel the water running over my body even if I was lying horizontally on this table thing being washed by a nurse. Whoever said your hair cleans itself was wrong my hair hadn't been washed or properly brushed for eight weeks and let me tell you it was gross.
They began raising the head of my bed a little each day but I still passed out and was as sick as a dog when they finally sat me up.
Once I could sit up the therapists taught me how to use a power wheelchair and I hated it even though I couldn't move it was terrible being strapped in and having to wear a body brace which felt like I was trapped inside a turtles shell or something I think that was the worst time, I didn't want to see anyone and I had no interest in anything, I just wanted to die.