SLADE

I'm beginning to think that Saffy has the right attitude and that it would be better if we could live in our own little world just the two of us.

It would certainly be easier for Saffy, easier on me…

In preparation for Saffy coming home her therapist decided it would be a good idea if we spent an afternoon in town, go to the mall or take in a movie or something.

So that's what we did, I thought it would do us both good to get out, just the two of us together doing the things we used to do.

When I arrived Saffy was waiting, ready to leave wearing her coat, with her bag in her lap.

Any way, off we went, it was only a ten-minute walk from the rehab center into the town but about halfway there I could see Saffy was tired and so I pushed her chair the rest of the way for her. 

I know the therapists say that you should let people like Saffy do as much for themselves as possible but there's only so much a guy can take.

We decided to stop by the Mall first as there was a new clothes store that Saffy hadn't visited. 

Saffy picked out this really nice sleeveless top, like the silly twat I am I asked her if she wanted to try it on first. 

It was only when she said we could bring it back another day if it didn't fit that I realized that Saffy probably couldn't get changed on her own and that the changing room was way too small to accommodate her wheelchair. 

It made me feel really bad for her and really stupid for not thinking about this sort of thing before I opened my big mouth.

The afternoon went downhill from there really. 

We went to see some new action flick everyone had been raving about at school and for obvious reason's Saffy had to sit in the aisle, any way practically no one held doors open for us as I wheeled her inside and people kept whining because they had to walk round Saffy's chair to get to their seats. 

By the end of the movie I was ready to hit anyone who so much as looked at us.  It makes me so angry the way people stared at Saffy like she was some kind of freak or pretended she wasn't even there.  It's not like Saffy actually chose to be in a wheelchair, she didn't have a choice. 

I did though.

I should haven chosen not to get in the car, chosen not to drive so fast. 

I know you can't change the past but I would give anything for us not to have crashed, anything for Saffy not to have been hurt.