He left to sleep on the couch that night. He didn't want to be tempted to, in his words, 'take me too far'. Yeah, like I'd let him! Well, actually, I might.

I wore his shirt to bed that night, and made breakfast for him in it the next morning. "What is on our schedule today?" I asked.

"A trip to the druggist," he said with a laugh.

"Joshua..." I said softly. "Seriously. What are we going to do?"

He didn't answer me.

"Hello?" I asked, turning around.

He was staring at me.

"What?" I asked self consciously.

"You look just too adorable in my shirt."

I stuck my tongue out, "Yeah well don't get used to it, Mister."

"Why not?" he asked in a teasing tone. "I like it. Seeing you in my clothes is a mild turn on."

"I'm not a turn on all on my own?" I teased with a pout.

He pulled his Hugh Grant stammering thing on me. "I-I, well, yes you are. Quite a turn on. I think I might want to jump your bones right now. Come on, let's go at it!" he teased, kissing me.

The door opened, "That's too bad," I said with a pout.

"'Ello?"" Joshua called out.

Fitzy ran in and took a quick picture. "Sorry, me and Whit just got some of these off some guy on the street. Isn't it neat?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, I adore cameras," I said sarcastically. I walked into the bedroom to put on some of Joshua's boxers.

"Man, don't do that shit. Don't you even think?" Joshua asked when I was away.

"Sorry...didn't think it was a big deal."

"You are destroying that picture," Joshua demanded.

"Are you joking me?"

"No. Get rid of it. I don't care if you have to throw out the entire roll of film. Get rid of it."

"Fine...fine...I will, I promise. Hey, Duke's of Hazard marathon is on today."

"You're joking. We are watching, you understand this, right?"

"Duh."

I rolled my eyes. "I think I'm going to go shopping today," I said coming out of the bedroom, completely dressed.

"Oh, darling...you sure?" Joshua asked, trying to hide his smile.

"Yes...you boys can bond today," I said kissing his cheek. "I'm going to do some major damage to the clothing fund."

"Have fun darling girl," he said with a wink.

I did some damage to my credit card in Harrod's. One woman recognized me and made it her mission to find the most expensive outfits for me. "I don't wear bright yellow," I explained when she tried to hand me a banana yellow hat. "Or hats..."

"Are you certain?"

"I'm not an old lady...I'm only twenty one..."

"Right...right...pink?" she guessed.

"Soft pink," I agreed. When I was younger a hot pink top would have been great, but now I was growing up. I needed to be mature in my clothing choices.

My cell phone rang. "Excuse me," I apologized as I took my phone from my purse. "Hello?"

"Baby boy!" the other voice called out.

"Huh?" I asked, not recognizing the voice right away.

"Sorry, it's Kip. Sophie had the baby. A boy we named Kevin."

"Oh great!" I squealed. "I'm so happy! Hold on a second," I said into the phone. "Just ring all that up," I said handing my card to the sales lady. "How big?"

"Six and half pounds. Twenty inches."

"How is Sophie?"

"Great. Tired, but really happy. She wanted me to call all of her friends."

"I'll be sure to come out as soon as I can to see the baby," I promised. "Tell her congratulations and give her my love."

"I will. I'll talk to you later, Mia."

"You too Kip."

The woman rung up my entire stock of clothes. "Anything else, your highness?"

I shook my head, "No, that's fine. Have a good day," I said, leaving a few bills on the counter for her to take.

"Thank you, Princess."

I hurried back to Fitzy's place. I kicked the door open wide, "Hey boys!"

Joshua came to the door quickly, "Hey darling girl!" he said kissing my cheek and taking my bags. "Enjoy yourself?"

"Yes, Kip called me. Sophie had the baby!"

His eyes opened wide, "Well?"

"A little boy. Kevin."

His smile spread across his face. "We should make a donation in his name...we'll ask Sophie where she'd want it."

I shook my head and laughed. He was possibly the only person alive that would think of that. "We'll do that once they get settled."

"Maybe we can get over there before school starts up in the fall."

I nodded. I hid behind my hair. It was nice to hear us talking about things months into the future. "What did you boys do today?"

He shrugged and dropped my bags off in Fitz's room. "Worked out a bit..."

"Checked out Daisy Duke?" I teased, wrapping my arms around him.

"How'd you know?"

"You two have the worst whispering voices known to mankind!" I said, laughing.

"You spent all this time in Harrod's?" he asked, looking inside all my bags.

"Don't be peeking. Someone's birthday is coming up and he shouldn't be so darn nosy."

"Must you remind me?" he groaned.

"Yeah, because twenty five is sooo old, isn't it?"

"It's my last year of eligibility for the rugby league."

"So? You hardly ever play anymore," I replied. "You are too old," I teased.

He made a face, "You know, when you turn twenty five I am going to wake you up early and torture you from sun up to sun down. Make you respect your elders."

I shook my head, "No you won't. I plan on spending it with Lilly in New York. We agreed that when I hit that milestone we would meet up in Vegas-"

"Who is to say both your situations won't be different?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you could very well be married by then."

"Yeah right," I said sarcastically. I didn't see us heading that route for quite a few years. Not a mere two and a half years. "I'll be spending it with Moscovitz."

"With Lilly or the other?" he asked.

I stared at him, "Huh?"

"Nothing."

"No, what?"

"It's nothing," he replied, fiddling with the door knob.

I sat on the bed. "You are so stubborn."

"Huh?"

"You are as stubborn as Michael was. You know, you two are more alike than you would think. You guys are the same age, well, he's about six months older...you both had long hair at one point...even though his was black and a bit curly...but I dunno....I see a bit of him in you," I rambled. I knew I should stop but it was like my mind wouldn't let me finish until my mind was totally empty. "LIke, you both hide things from other people. You don't show many people the other sides of you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Like you seem all stuffy an proper to my family, but I know what you are really like."
"And Michael?" he said. He sounded a bit annoyed but wanted to know.

"He never told anyone about his music. He showed me once after this terrible dance we had at school. I told you about that dance, when the kid used me to get his picture in the paper? Well, anyways, Michael came and kept me company while all of my friends were with their dates."

"Uh huh, I remember you mentioned it."

"Yeah well after I slept over at Lillys. She was busy with her old boyfriend, Boris, so Michael and I went to his room and he played a song for me-"

"He wrote you a song? Geez, I thought I was original. I guess you are used to having guys writing songs to you."

I rolled my eyes, "It wasn't for me. It was for some girl he had been dating, Judith. It was a nice song. But he didn't tell Lilly or anyone else for a while. Until after..."

"After what?" he asked, rushed.

I looked up at him. It was after that computer program he showed me. After what I had once thought was a joke. I thought about it and realized his song was about me. The lyrics made sense to me now. "You know, I went to Genovia for winter holidays and came back and there was a band all of a sudden. It was very sudden ya know?"

"Yeah, whatever-"

"Joshua, I am with you-"

"In body yes. In mind? No."

"Stop being such a moron. Of course my mind is on you. It is always on you."

"Then what was that face you just made?"

"What face?" I asked, looking at my lap.

"THAT face. You looked kind of dazed and like you were in a time transport or something. What the hell Mia? Are you in love with him? Still? You can't even look at me now. You must-"

"You are acting like a pompus jerk right now Joshua. You act like you never had a crush on anyone else before me. I don't ask about how you feel about Kate or any other girl you have been with. Do I? No. I don't even know anything about the time before me. Do I accuse you of being in love with another girl?"

He looked away. "Mia, I didn't socialize as much as one would imagine."

"Oh no?"I said accusingly. I could tell there was something he was hiding.

"Mia, I won't ask about Michael anymore. I'm sorry. But sometimes I wonder if you still think about him."

"Of course I do. And I think about Lilly. And Shameeka. And Tina. And Ling Su. And Boris. And Felix. And Kenny. ANd even Lana and Josh. They were all part of my growing up in some sort of way. I wouldn't be who I am without them. So don't be jealous of him. Be thankful."

He half laughed, "Yeah, be thankful for the man who my current girlfriend is in love with-"

"ARe you not listening to me? I am with you body, mind and soul. You are the man I want. ANd Michael is not a man. He was only twenty one when...when I last saw him," I said, catching myself before I admitted I had slept with him. I have a feeling that if Joshua found out about me and Michael's one night he would blow up. Maybe he'd go straight to New York and kill him or castrate. And even if I didn't love Michael anymore I certainly didn't want him killed, or have his penis cut off a la Wayne Bobbit.

I mean, he does have a very nice, SHUT UP MIA! I can't allow myself to think about that night again. As of this moment I will no longer think about Michael Moscovitz's penis. Or his abs. Or his fuzzy legs that I put my feet between when we finally fell asleep. Okay, now that is the last mention of Michael in my mind. I would not even mention his name in my journal's again.

He knew I was holding something back though. "I know. I'm sorry Mia. I am competing with a ghost aren't I?"

I nodded and kissed his cheek softly. "But you are my future," I said tentatively.

He smirked. "Will you forgive me for being a foolish old goat?"

I smiled and ruffled his hair, "Of course I will. How can I resist a man with an accent?"

"You are the one with an accent," he teased.

I loved how we could be fighting one minute, then be teasing one another lovingly. "What are we doing tonight?" I asked, kissing his chin. It was lightly speckled with hair.

He shrugged, "Fitz and Whit want to bring us for dinner, you want in?"

"Sure. Whitney seems really nice," I said, shutting the door behind me.

"What are you doing, Princess?" he said raising his eyebrows.

"I have to get changed if we are going for dinner," I replied.

"Let me give you some privacy then-"

"Why are you being so gentlemanly? You certainly had no problem seeing my naked form last night."

He blushed, "I know...but I want to do all of this right and proper. Not that I didn't enjoy last night...I quite did," he said kissing my forehead. "You, my darling girl, have skills never experienced by me. I never imagined you to be such a temptress. Where did you learn all that stuff?"

I laughed, sort of embarrassed about the previous nights activities. We hadn't gone all the way, but I'm sure you could use your imagination. "Good to know."

"I'll see you in the den then?"

I nodded and kissed him softly. "Bye sweetie."

We ate and drank late into the night, just the four of us. I saw an occasional stare and 'Is that really the princess? She doesn't look like one..". Joshua kept his arm on the back of my seat while we joked around and laughed.

"Just think, Joshua, this time in a month and a half you'll be back and we can hang out like this all the time!" Fitzy reminded us.

I had forgotten that his time in Genovia would be soon ending. He would have to return to England for his classes. I chewed hard on my food, making Joshua smile. "I suppose so. It'll be interesting, don't you think?" he asked, looking at me.

I nodded silently.

"Oh I forgot. Different countries! What are you going to do?" Fitz asked, taking a sip from his glass.

Truth be told, we hadn't discussed it just yet. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind yet. Joshua took my hand, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Shall I order another round?"

When we finally decided to leave we walked back to the flat. I didn't talk all that much, it was mostly the boys talking. Whitney was on her mobile.

Who was I kidding? This must just be a fling. What if it was just something to prove to his stupid friends that he could get me? He hadn't even used the 'L' word (yes Like, no Love), not since that first night back in June. Maybe that arguement about Michael was really about him wanting to break up with me. I mean, it was very much unlike him to be jealous. Maybe he was trying to get me so mad that I would break it off with him.

When I was friends with Joshua I always relished in the fact that he never stayed with girls too much. He always dated a girl once or twice and then ended things. Or he'd focus on sports or friends.

I ran into the bathroom once we reached the flat. I locked the door.

"I guess the food didn't agree with her?" Fitz said with a laugh.

No one came near the door for a few minutes, "Darling, are you okay in there?" Joshua's soft voice asked.

"Fine," I said, holding back my tears. Luckily he didn't know about my tendency to hide in bathrooms when I was upset.

I heard him bang his head against the door. "Let me in."

"No...I'm not feeling good."

"Then let me in to make sure you are okay. Come on Mia."

"No."

"Fine. But if you don't come out in five minutes I'm breaking in."

I sat on the edge of the bathtub and let my tears flow evenly down my cheeks. How did I actually know he loved me? I mean, we had been together for what...two months now? I suppose a lot of couples wait that long to mention it...but I thought we were different. We had four years of history to pre-date the relationship.

I knew who to call in a time like this.

"What?" her voice cracked.

"Lilly, I'm having boy problems."

"Geez Mia, I thought once you got that Joshua guy everything would be okay. What's going on?"

"I just realized that he's going to be coming back to England."

"So?"

"So...long distance?"

"Me and Tony did it."

"B-But you came back to New York..."

"He's from Boston Mia. He goes there for holidays and stuff. I never get to see him really. And now that I'm a senior I'm really never going to have time to see him. But if you guys are for real it'll work itself out."

"But that's just the thing," I whispered. "He hasn't even said that he loves me."

Silence.

"Lil?"

"Oh, sorry. Michael just walked in. Hold on a second."

I held on, biting my lip. I heard them talking. Just hearing his voice made my heart skip a beat. But only one beat. Michael wasn't....

"Hey, sorry about that. I have him on a blind date tonight with my friend Kelly. I know he'll hate her but she wouldn't let it go until I hooked them up."

I smiled. I hoped he was happy. "How is he?" I asked. "Is he happy?"

She didn't say anything at first, "I-I'd like to say so. But I don't know. He's kind of doing a lot of his own things these days. Working and stuff. He just came back from California. He's been living there for a few years now. He hated it though so he's back here in New York."

"I see...okay, this definitely isn't helping my current situation," I realized out loud.

"Right. Okay, so how do you feel about him?"

"Well, Michael is in the past, but I dunno. I always-," I whispered.

She laughed, "I was referring to your current boyfriend. Michael is a whole different topic my friend. We can discuss your screwed up emotions about him later."

Of course. I have a problem with Joshua so my mind travels back to Michael. "Well, I do love Joshua-"

"So just tell him. What's the worst he could do?"

"Dump me."

"And if that's what he'd do then you are better off without him. But I have a sinking suspicion that he will say the same thing back. Mia, you have always held back on how you felt. I can't even imagine if you were more in touch with your emotions eight years ago."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean."

I did. Everyone, well, mostly Tina, had told me that I should have told Michael face to face about my feelings. Lilly found out about my crush from Tina and she gave me hell for not doing anything before he left for School. But when would I have? I was traumatized about the carnival thing after I got back from Genovia. Then there was his senior moments in the spring where he avoided the Moscovitz home. He was out with his band practicing all the time. THen I went to Genovia with Lilly that summer. It was not my fault. "No I don't," I mumbled.

"Tell Joshua you love him. You will regret it if you do not."

"But what if it's too soon? I don't want to freak him out."

"Look, you still have how long until you go back to school and he moves home?"

"Month and a half."

"Wait a little longer to figure it out. See what he does. Okay? I can't talk right now. Michael is spazzing out because I'm on the phone with you. If I stay on any longer he'll want to talk...unless you want to talk to him. You know, to further your confusion...hell, maybe he can give insight to the situation. Being one of the great loves of your life. He can tell you how it felt to never know how much you loved him until it was too late."

"N-No, "I stammered. "I'm fine. I'm confused enough as it is. I don't need him added to the mix."

"Mia, you love the guy, he loves you. Get over it all and just be assertive."

"Michael loves me?"

I could just see her rolling her eyes. "Um, once again, I was referring to Joshua. You know, the guy you just finished explaining how you were in love with....Shut up Michael....yes, Joshua is her boyfriend. You know, her LOVERRRR. The man who warms her sheets. Stop freaking out. She can't hear me. She doesn't know you-" she said muffling the phone. I did not want to hear the conversation. It would only bring problems to me. I have successfully avoided Michael and all that baggage. I wanted to continue avoiding it. "Shut up already assface."

I smiled. She was always telling me to be more assertive. "Okay Lilly. Thanks for talking to me."

"No prob. It's my job to be the voice of reason for the Princess of Genovia. Sorry about the muffling. I now have Michael hog tied in the kitchen. Later."

"Mia, come out already. What's wrong?"

I unlocked the door and he came in. "You okay?" he asked with a worried look on his face. "The other two went to bed."

I nodded. "I'll be fine."

He knew I was lying. "Liar."

"How'd you know?" I asked. I had covered up my nostrils and everything.

"Because when you are lying to me, your ears turn red."

I grabbed my ears and felt that they were in fact rather warm. "Oh."

"What's wrong with you tonight? Did I do something wrong?" he looked nervous. "I mean... you still want to be with me, right? Mia, earlier I was just being a stupid brute."

I had to laugh. He had no idea how much I wanted to be with him. And he sounded like a teenager when he asked that. Thinking that a little upset ness made me not want to be with him.

"What?" he asked, biting his lip.

I smiled at him, "Joshua, you have no idea how much I want to be with you."

"So why are you upset? You have me, darling," he said, putting his hands on my hips.

"But in another month you'll be back here. In school. Playing rugby. NO time for me... am I being selfish? I'm sorry...I shouldn't be upset-"

He interrupted me with a kiss. "Mia, you know that I'm going to find every excuse to come see you, right?"

"But what about your friends..."

He waved that worry away. "Mia, you are...we are growing up. Finding other people to spend time with. More important people to be around. New responsibilities." He pushed my hair behind my ears. "You are that important person to be with..."

I kissed him. "Can we go home tomorrow?"

He nodded, "What ever you want, darling girl. I just want to make you happy.."

"Well, you could stay, if you wanted to, and hang out with your friends-"

"No. I don't have that much time left with you before we go back to the real world. And, it's so much more fun to sneak around on your grandmother and father. And I'm sure your servents are missing our hush money."

I giggled. "Okay, if you are certain."

He kissed my nose. "I'll call the jet right now, okay?" he teased.

"Thank you."

We celebrated his twenty fifth birthday in the woods, reading poetry to one another. This time we stayed away from the morbid stuff and went straight to Shakespeare's sonnets. "This isn't the same blanket as that summer, is it?" I asked as he set it on the ground.

"No, I burned that," he said with a grin. "Bad memories. Well, mostly good ones stained by one terrible drunken moment."

I kissed him before he set his head on my lap and allowed me to read to him. "American accents are so soothing...buttery," he cooed sarcastically.

"Just because I enjoy the sound of your voice does not give you license to tease my accent," I said laughing.

As we finished up for the night I stopped him before he could fold up the blanket I stopped him. "Wait a second, okay?"

He nodded, "Sure, what is it darling?"

I reached into my bag and handed him a box. "Happy birthday darling boy."

"Mia...you didn't have to. I was satisfied with just this."

I glared at him, "Yeah, right."

He slowly, painfully opened up the box. A note that explained that a donation was made in his favorite three charities. His face exploded, "Mia, this is too much!"

He picked me up and spun me around, "No, that's not all though. Could you sit down for a second?"

He put me down and sat down nervously. "What is it darling?"

I sat next to him. I spread my dress out like a fan around me. "I-I just wanted to let you know something that has been in my mind for quite some time actually..."

"Yes?" he asked, following my lowering gaze.

"I love you."

He smiled slightly, "I thought you were going to tell me some bad news. Something I didn't already know."

Okay, not the reaction I was expecting. "Huh?"

He kissed my cheek, "I know you love me. You didn't have to tell me that. I've always known."

"Why haven't you said anything?"

He shrugged, "Cold Englishman?"

I smiled, "You can't hide behind that."

"I dunno...I've never told someone that before. Never really thought I had to say it. I try to show you I do..."

"You do," I replied quickly.

"Good then."

"But it's nice to hear," I hinted.

"You are not one for subtly."

I grinned, "Nope."

"Well, if you couldn't guess it, I love you more than anything in this entire world. If it was possible, I'd spend every single moment with you. Kissing you...holding you. I'd give up anything for you. Anything," he said putting his thumb on my chin. "How did a gift to me become one to you?"

"I'm veddy veddy sneaky," I replied with a smile. "But...I do love you. So much more than I could have ever imagined. And It's going to be miserable when you leave here..."

"Let's not think about that. Let's just agree to make it work, okay?"

I nodded silently. He kissed me softly, "Thank you for the perfect birthday."