SAFFY
I guess I'm having what my therapist would call a 'bad' day today. I woke up all stiff and I just haven't been able to shake it, it's like a nagging pain that's always there, it never goes away and I can't make it stop. I wish that I could just curl up and go to sleep but I can't because if I do everyone will fuss over me and I hate that so, so much. Anyways I couldn't curl up even if I wanted too. Sometimes my life really sucks! Everything takes so long these days and I'm so damn clumsy that it feels like I can't do anything right anymore. I spilt my breakfast all down my front this morning and there was me thinking that I'd mastered this feeding myself business once and for all. Not a big deal? Wrong biggest f**king deal ever!
So I trundled off to get changed and couldn't open the drawer to get a clean sweater out cause I was so stiff. When I finally managed it I dropped my dirty sweater on the floor and couldn't pick it up because I can't even bend over. Ok well I can bend over but I can't sit back up again afterwards.
So Slade comes in to see what's taking me so long, which was a really bad choice of words considering how p**sed off I was by then. So I shouted at him and said that maybe he should try being a useless cripple stuck in a damn wheelchair the whole time. I really regretted saying the instant I saw the look upon his face because I know if he could take back what happened or swap places with me he would. He just stood there as if I'd turned him into stone and because I can't bear hurting him I reached out to him and we stayed like that for ages me with me arms around his neck and him bending over and holding me as close as he can.
The long and the short of it is that my sweater is still laying in a dirty and crumpled heap upon the floor and Slade was late for school and will probably get detention tonight.
Sometimes my life actually sucks so much it blows.