A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, wonderful readers! I'm so glad you seem to like this story. I was worried about tampering too much with what happened in "Life After," but you know, I was never completely satisfied with how that one ended, and this seemed to be a necessary addendum. Hope you don't mind. And my goal is for you to like Ben and Andy both, so you can feel a little of the dilemma poor Amy is experiencing. I'm not trying to make either one of them out to be the "bad guy." I love both of them myself! =) Anyway, please keep reading and reviewing; I love seeing what you think about this story. Love, boschette
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Amy glanced nervously out her bedroom window to make sure the coast was still clear, then turned to look at Ben, who was sitting at the foot of her bed, waiting patiently for a response.
"Well? What do you say?" His green eyes twinkled mischievously.
"I say if you don't get your butt out of this house before my dads get home, it's been nice knowing you," she said, agitated but trying unsuccessfully to suppress her smile. "Ben, honestly, you've got to go. I told you that I'm working on getting them to reconsider, but as of right now, they will kill you on sight. And me too, most likely. Please leave, I'm begging you."
His expression turned serious. "Look, the last thing I want is to get you in any more trouble. Or me either, for that matter. Just please come with me. I can't get my mind off you, Amy; we need to finish what we were talking about last night before we...stopped talking. It might be our only chance for a while, if your dad doesn't drop the anti-Ben campaign. I'm begging you."
Amy took a deep breath, looking into his pleading eyes, and she was swept by a familiar sensation of longing, a feeling that she had buried months and months ago and promised herself she would forget about, one that was dizzying, dangerous, and disturbing, exciting and frightening all at once. But mostly it was just tempting. She knew she was going to give in. She knew it even before he gave her his most winning smile and kissed her on the forehead. But that sealed the deal.
"All right," she said in her best exasperated tone. "I'll come with you."
"Yes, that's my girl!" He grinned at her.
"Don't get cocky. Let's just get the hell out of here before they come home." Amy scribbled a note for Jack and Doug and left it on the kitchen counter: Going to Jessie's. Back before curfew. Love, A. She looked up at Ben. "Can't be too careful these days," she said, and he nodded and winked.
In the driveway, Ben let her into the passenger side of his newly dented car and walked around to get in behind the wheel. He was about to turn the key when Amy gasped and clapped both hands to her mouth. He looked over at her, startled by the shock in her eyes, and then followed her gaze.
Andrew was standing at the bottom of the porch steps of Amy's house. He was almost hidden in the gathering shadows of dusk, but even in the dimness Ben could make out the dark, stony expression on his face as he stared back at the two in the car.
"Not again," Ben muttered under his breath, then looked back at Amy. Her blue eyes were transfixed on Andy, her hands still hovering over her mouth in a parody of surprise that might have been comical if the situation weren't so far from funny. The moment stretched out for what felt like an eternity, until at last Andrew shattered the absolute stillness of it all when he turned and walked away, back in the direction of his own house, swallowed almost immediately by the shadows.
Amy made a helpless, strangled moaning sound in her throat, and Ben looked over to see her blue eyes swimming with tears.
"Amy," Ben said, trying to sound confidently firm and soothing and rational, and knowing it probably wouldn't help one bit. "Listen to me. It's okay. We're doing nothing wrong. We have every right to be hanging out together, at least as far as he's concerned. Look at me. It's okay, I promise. I won't tell him anything you don't want me to."
She looked at Ben, her watery gaze hitting him like an arrow through the heart. "I...I have to...I can't just..."
He nodded at her unfinished thought. "I know," he said quietly, tearing his eyes away from her. She was too beautiful just then to look at. "I know. Go after him."
She hesitated, and he thought for a brief moment that she was going to lean across the seat and kiss him, but then she was gone, running in the direction Andrew had gone, running after her best friend, her boyfriend, as if her life depended on catching up with him.
Ben smiled bitterly to himself as he watched her go, Amy Lindley, his blessing, his curse, his first love...He should have known better. He shouldn't have let himself believe, even for a moment, that it could work out. She belonged to someone else, and she always would. All the proof he needed was in her panic-stricken eyes when she had caught sight of Andrew, the desperation in her voice as she tried to tell Ben why she couldn't stay.
When she had also been swallowed up by the shadows, Ben finally started his car and backed out of the driveway.
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Amy ran all the way to Andrew's house through the connecting backyards of the neighbors' houses between them, and when she spotted him sitting in the bench swing in his backyard, she slowed to a walk. As she approached, out of breath, she suddenly realized she had no idea what she was going to say to him. Her mind and her heart were masses of confused thoughts and emotions.
She stepped in front of the swing. He looked up at her, his eyes coldly expectant. "Well? Something you want to tell me?" he asked.
Amy still didn't speak. Her heart was hammering in her ears, and she felt dizzy and weak. What was she supposed to do? Lie to him? Wouldn't that just make things worse? "I...I don't know."
"Nice opener," he said. "Not very eloquent, though. I know you can do better."
"Do you have to be so sarcastic?" she asked. "Please, Andy, this is hard..."
"Just say what you came to say," he said. "Obviously you didn't chase me down for the fun of it." His gaze was steady, the casual tone of his voice doing a great job of disguising his own racing pulse and aching heart. He wanted more than anything to just take her in his arms and hold her and forget the past couple of days. To forget that Ben Chambers existed. But he did exist, and he stood between them bigger than life, and Andrew just went on being cruel to the only girl he'd ever loved and hating himself for it. "Let's have it, I'm waiting."
"Andy...please don't rush me through this. I, uh...this wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this."
He wanted her to go away, he wished he didn't know her so damn well that he could read everything so clearly in her eyes. If only he didn't have to look at her face and see as plain as day what she was trying so desperately to figure out how to tell him. He stood up from the swing and looked down at her mercilessly. "What wasn't supposed to happen, Amy? C'mon, don't keep me in suspense...What?" he snapped in a rough tone that made her wince.
She was silent, looking at him pleadingly, her bottom lip trembling.
"Do you want me to guess, is that it? Is that how far we've regressed into immaturity, far enough to play a little guessing game with our relationship?" He felt a horrible stab of satisfaction when she began to cry, and he hated himself even more for that. "Well let me just make this easy for you, Aim...you don't have to tell me a damn thing. I think I can fill in the blanks just fine, and you know something? I don't really want to know if I win the game. I don't want to know if I'm right. There. You're off the hook." He began to back away from her, toward the house.
"Andy..." She reached for his hand and he shook free of her grasp.
"You'd better catch up with him, Amy. It's bad form to go chasing after old flames. I've made the same mistake before."
"Andy, you're not an old flame...don't be ridiculous, it's..."
"That's exactly what I am. That's all I am. It's over, Amy, isn't that what you wanted to say to me? Well I guess I did it for you. It's over. Everything. Do you understand?"
The bitterness in his voice cut her to the core, the harshness of what he was saying stinging like salt in her open wounds. She stood there, tears falling freely down her cheeks and dripping off her chin, and there were no words. The back door of the Harpers' house slammed shut with a flat crack that seemed to shake the stillness of the summer evening. Amy dropped to the ground, her body shaking with silent sobs.
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Amy glanced nervously out her bedroom window to make sure the coast was still clear, then turned to look at Ben, who was sitting at the foot of her bed, waiting patiently for a response.
"Well? What do you say?" His green eyes twinkled mischievously.
"I say if you don't get your butt out of this house before my dads get home, it's been nice knowing you," she said, agitated but trying unsuccessfully to suppress her smile. "Ben, honestly, you've got to go. I told you that I'm working on getting them to reconsider, but as of right now, they will kill you on sight. And me too, most likely. Please leave, I'm begging you."
His expression turned serious. "Look, the last thing I want is to get you in any more trouble. Or me either, for that matter. Just please come with me. I can't get my mind off you, Amy; we need to finish what we were talking about last night before we...stopped talking. It might be our only chance for a while, if your dad doesn't drop the anti-Ben campaign. I'm begging you."
Amy took a deep breath, looking into his pleading eyes, and she was swept by a familiar sensation of longing, a feeling that she had buried months and months ago and promised herself she would forget about, one that was dizzying, dangerous, and disturbing, exciting and frightening all at once. But mostly it was just tempting. She knew she was going to give in. She knew it even before he gave her his most winning smile and kissed her on the forehead. But that sealed the deal.
"All right," she said in her best exasperated tone. "I'll come with you."
"Yes, that's my girl!" He grinned at her.
"Don't get cocky. Let's just get the hell out of here before they come home." Amy scribbled a note for Jack and Doug and left it on the kitchen counter: Going to Jessie's. Back before curfew. Love, A. She looked up at Ben. "Can't be too careful these days," she said, and he nodded and winked.
In the driveway, Ben let her into the passenger side of his newly dented car and walked around to get in behind the wheel. He was about to turn the key when Amy gasped and clapped both hands to her mouth. He looked over at her, startled by the shock in her eyes, and then followed her gaze.
Andrew was standing at the bottom of the porch steps of Amy's house. He was almost hidden in the gathering shadows of dusk, but even in the dimness Ben could make out the dark, stony expression on his face as he stared back at the two in the car.
"Not again," Ben muttered under his breath, then looked back at Amy. Her blue eyes were transfixed on Andy, her hands still hovering over her mouth in a parody of surprise that might have been comical if the situation weren't so far from funny. The moment stretched out for what felt like an eternity, until at last Andrew shattered the absolute stillness of it all when he turned and walked away, back in the direction of his own house, swallowed almost immediately by the shadows.
Amy made a helpless, strangled moaning sound in her throat, and Ben looked over to see her blue eyes swimming with tears.
"Amy," Ben said, trying to sound confidently firm and soothing and rational, and knowing it probably wouldn't help one bit. "Listen to me. It's okay. We're doing nothing wrong. We have every right to be hanging out together, at least as far as he's concerned. Look at me. It's okay, I promise. I won't tell him anything you don't want me to."
She looked at Ben, her watery gaze hitting him like an arrow through the heart. "I...I have to...I can't just..."
He nodded at her unfinished thought. "I know," he said quietly, tearing his eyes away from her. She was too beautiful just then to look at. "I know. Go after him."
She hesitated, and he thought for a brief moment that she was going to lean across the seat and kiss him, but then she was gone, running in the direction Andrew had gone, running after her best friend, her boyfriend, as if her life depended on catching up with him.
Ben smiled bitterly to himself as he watched her go, Amy Lindley, his blessing, his curse, his first love...He should have known better. He shouldn't have let himself believe, even for a moment, that it could work out. She belonged to someone else, and she always would. All the proof he needed was in her panic-stricken eyes when she had caught sight of Andrew, the desperation in her voice as she tried to tell Ben why she couldn't stay.
When she had also been swallowed up by the shadows, Ben finally started his car and backed out of the driveway.
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Amy ran all the way to Andrew's house through the connecting backyards of the neighbors' houses between them, and when she spotted him sitting in the bench swing in his backyard, she slowed to a walk. As she approached, out of breath, she suddenly realized she had no idea what she was going to say to him. Her mind and her heart were masses of confused thoughts and emotions.
She stepped in front of the swing. He looked up at her, his eyes coldly expectant. "Well? Something you want to tell me?" he asked.
Amy still didn't speak. Her heart was hammering in her ears, and she felt dizzy and weak. What was she supposed to do? Lie to him? Wouldn't that just make things worse? "I...I don't know."
"Nice opener," he said. "Not very eloquent, though. I know you can do better."
"Do you have to be so sarcastic?" she asked. "Please, Andy, this is hard..."
"Just say what you came to say," he said. "Obviously you didn't chase me down for the fun of it." His gaze was steady, the casual tone of his voice doing a great job of disguising his own racing pulse and aching heart. He wanted more than anything to just take her in his arms and hold her and forget the past couple of days. To forget that Ben Chambers existed. But he did exist, and he stood between them bigger than life, and Andrew just went on being cruel to the only girl he'd ever loved and hating himself for it. "Let's have it, I'm waiting."
"Andy...please don't rush me through this. I, uh...this wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this."
He wanted her to go away, he wished he didn't know her so damn well that he could read everything so clearly in her eyes. If only he didn't have to look at her face and see as plain as day what she was trying so desperately to figure out how to tell him. He stood up from the swing and looked down at her mercilessly. "What wasn't supposed to happen, Amy? C'mon, don't keep me in suspense...What?" he snapped in a rough tone that made her wince.
She was silent, looking at him pleadingly, her bottom lip trembling.
"Do you want me to guess, is that it? Is that how far we've regressed into immaturity, far enough to play a little guessing game with our relationship?" He felt a horrible stab of satisfaction when she began to cry, and he hated himself even more for that. "Well let me just make this easy for you, Aim...you don't have to tell me a damn thing. I think I can fill in the blanks just fine, and you know something? I don't really want to know if I win the game. I don't want to know if I'm right. There. You're off the hook." He began to back away from her, toward the house.
"Andy..." She reached for his hand and he shook free of her grasp.
"You'd better catch up with him, Amy. It's bad form to go chasing after old flames. I've made the same mistake before."
"Andy, you're not an old flame...don't be ridiculous, it's..."
"That's exactly what I am. That's all I am. It's over, Amy, isn't that what you wanted to say to me? Well I guess I did it for you. It's over. Everything. Do you understand?"
The bitterness in his voice cut her to the core, the harshness of what he was saying stinging like salt in her open wounds. She stood there, tears falling freely down her cheeks and dripping off her chin, and there were no words. The back door of the Harpers' house slammed shut with a flat crack that seemed to shake the stillness of the summer evening. Amy dropped to the ground, her body shaking with silent sobs.