A/N: Thanks as always for the last crop of reviews. Erin, Im so glad you like the stories! I hope the last chapter didnt make Amy irredeemable for anyone. Shes confused and hurt, and we all say things we dont mean from time to time; thats one of Amys biggest character flaws. Maybe this chapter will make her more likable again. Back to the triangle next time...Stay with me!
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Doug walked up behind Jack as he stood on the pier, staring out at the water. He wrapped his arms around him, clasping his hands together around Jack's chest and kissing him gently on the back of the head.
"What happened?" he asked when Jack didn't volunteer an explanation.
"Well, Amy hates me, for one thing," Jack said with an ironic little smile, putting his hand on top of Dougie's and squeezing affectionately. "She hates me and she finally felt the need to point out that I am not, in fact, her father. And how do I argue with that? She's right."
"Don't do that, Jack. Don't."
"What? It's true. She's right, isn't she, I'm not her father. Her father is some worthless deadbeat jerk who knocked Jen up and didn't let the door hit him in the ass when he found out there was going to BE an Amy. I don't want to be that guy."
"Of course you don't. You're the opposite of that guy. She's damn lucky you're the man you are, too. Look, how many times have we been through this? Our sweet little angel can act like a heartless bitch when she's upset, and you know it. She says things she doesn't mean, she does things she regrets later. This is Amy, Jack. How many times have you reminded me not to take it to heart?"
"I know. This is different, though."
"Why? Because it's you this time instead of me?" Doug asked the question in a semi-amused tone, but Jack turned around and frowned at him over his shoulder.
"I guess that's not really fair, is it? And I don't know why I can't take my own advice. All I do know is it hurts."
"That's parenthood, babe. It's our job to raise our kid with love, and it's her job to turn everything we've ever taught her against us as she morphs into this teenage beast hell bent on breaking our hearts over and over again. But we can't let her. If we do, she wins. And I don't like to lose."
Jack smiled. "What made you such an expert on parenthood?"
"Maybe it's being surrounded by young whippersnappers like you and Pacey and your long-overdue-to-cut-the-ties high school gang. As the patriarchal figure here, I guess I've just absorbed more wisdom than the rest of you. Live and learn, Jacky my boy."
Jack gently elbowed Doug in the stomach. "I forget you're an old man sometimes. You're holding up very well, you know."
"Thank you. I do my best. Now, shall we head upstairs? I believe you mentioned something earlier about appetite suppression..." Doug arched a teasing eyebrow at Jack, who glanced up at Amy's window.
"And I intend to make good on that promise," he said. "But I have to do something first."
"Come on, Jack," Doug said, serious again. "Let it go for tonight. She's done enough to spoil our evening, hasn't she? Don't give her the chance to do any more damage."
"I need to check on her. You didn't see how upset she was. There was something in her eyes. Something kind of like...hopelessness. It scared me."
"Well then let me do it, okay? I'll check on her. You hang out here and think of new and extreme ways to impress me later."
Jack hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, okay. But don't let it turn into a fight, please. I'm not nearly in the frame of mind to mediate."
Doug gave him a mock innocent look. "You wouldn't be implying that I am an instigator, now, would you?" Jack rolled his eyes, smiling, as Doug started back into the house.
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Amy felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. Sitting on the edge of her bed in her now-dark room, she gasped for breath and tried to will herself to calm down and think clearly. What had she done? In the last two hours she had succeeded in alienating the guy she was beginning to believe she was really in love with, losing her lifelong best friend and breaking his heart in the process, and saying something cruel and virtually unforgivable to her dad, who was just trying to help her. And what made it worse was knowing that these were three of the few people in the world that she had always, always been able to count on. At the moment it was impossible to feel anything but hatred for herself.
There was a sharp rap on the door, and Doug's voice called her name. When she didn't answer, he said, "All right, I'm coming in."
She sat up and swiped at the tears on her cheeks as he swung the door open and towered in the doorway, his jaw set and his eyes sharp.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked sternly. "Do you know how badly you hurt your dad's feelings? Do you care? Look, Amy, it's one thing to be upset and angry, but when you start trying to make the people who love you feel just as bad as you do, it's time to snap out of it and stop being so selfish."
Amy nodded, looking down at her hands. "I didn't mean what I said to him."
"Of course you didn't. I know that, he knows that, but that doesn't take away the pain you've caused him. You can't just lash out in anger and then expect to apologize later and make it all better. Some words leave scars."
She raised her head to look at him, tears flooding her eyes. "So I can't fix it?"
Seeing the pain clearly on her flushed, tear-stained face, he relented and came over to squat beside her next to the bed. "Tell him you're sorry," he said. "You can't undo the damage, but that's a good first step to healing it. Let him know how much you love him. He's very worried about you, Aim. We've both been worried about you."
She looked at him, surprised. "You too?"
"Of course me too. I don't like the path you're heading down, baby. We want to trust you, and you're making that very hard to do."
She took a deep, shuddery breath. "I guess so. But Dougie, isn't making mistakes part of growing up?"
"Mistakes, yes. Not bad choice after bad choice, which is what you've been doing."
"It's not Ben's fault," she said tentatively, wanting to tread lightly in this area. "I know you blame him, but you shouldn't. I make my own decisions."
Doug sighed. "I promised Jack I wouldn't let this turn into a fight, kiddo, so we're going to table that discussion for now. That Chambers kid is dangerous territory."
"Andy's not perfect either, you know."
"No one said he was."
"I think I'm in love with Ben, Dougie."
Doug squeezed his eyes shut, wishing she hadn't said that. "Not now," he said again, biting his tongue against the urge to make a sarcastic remark. "Go out and talk to your dad."
She stood up, feeling like his non-response was at least a pseudo-victory for Ben. She started out of the room, then turned back to Doug and hugged him tightly. He was taken aback but pleased at the uncharacteristic display of affection that was usually reserved for Jack. He brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes as she looked up at him.
"You're a good kid, Aim," he said. "We just want to keep it that way, all right? Work with us, not against us."
She nodded, then pulled out of his embrace and set off to make amends with her other dad.
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Jack was sitting on the edge of the pier, dangling his feet near the surface of the black night-water of the creek. Amy stood nervously, looking down at him, hoping he was going to make this easy on her.
"Um, Daddy?" she began.
"Mmm?" He didn't look up.
"I'm sorry, okay?"
"Okay."
"Really, I am. I've had a horrible night, and I don't even know what I'm saying. I...I shouldn't have talked to you that way."
"All right."
"Dad, please..."
"Please what? You want me to tell you all is perfect again? It's not, Amy. And just because Doug sent you down here to apologize doesn't mean I'm automatically going to open up my arms and tell you everything is okay when it's not."
Amy was struck speechless for a few moments. She was tempted to turn around and leave him sitting there. She'd tried, hadn't she? Couldn't he see that she was hurting? That this was hard for her? But she shook off the thoughts and stood her ground.
"Dougie didn't send me, Daddy. I'm really sorry for what I said. You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to, but at least believe that I didn't mean it," she said, her tone taking on a note of pleading as she hurried on. "You're much more my father than the guy whose DNA I was unlucky enough to inherit. I got more than my fair share of parents with you and Dougie. You guys are the best dads in the world. I...I don't even deserve you." She trailed off into silence.
After what seemed like an eternity, Amy finally decided he wasn't going to answer, that she really had done irreparable damage by her malicious words. Feeling the tears surge into her eyes once more, she turned to walk away.
"Amy." He caught her arm and turned her to face him. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. Thank you for saying it," he said. "Come here." He held his arms out and she flung herself into them, lost in a wave of relief so powerful it took her breath away.
When they finally pulled apart, he tilted her face up so that she had to look at him. "Want to tell me what happened tonight?" he asked in a tone that left little room for her to refuse. "Maybe this time without so many insults and accusations?"
She took a deep, shuddery breath. "I'll tell you if you promise not to miss the point by getting mad at me for the trivial parts. Like Ben coming over."
He studied her face for several moments and then nodded. "Deal," he said.
They settled back down on the pier as she began pouring out the details of her heartrending evening. Jack listened carefully, not interrupting, savoring his own feeling of relief that washed over him as she spoke. She was opening up, letting him back into a world she had actively shut him out of for the past few months. Maybe he hadn't lost her after all.
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Doug walked up behind Jack as he stood on the pier, staring out at the water. He wrapped his arms around him, clasping his hands together around Jack's chest and kissing him gently on the back of the head.
"What happened?" he asked when Jack didn't volunteer an explanation.
"Well, Amy hates me, for one thing," Jack said with an ironic little smile, putting his hand on top of Dougie's and squeezing affectionately. "She hates me and she finally felt the need to point out that I am not, in fact, her father. And how do I argue with that? She's right."
"Don't do that, Jack. Don't."
"What? It's true. She's right, isn't she, I'm not her father. Her father is some worthless deadbeat jerk who knocked Jen up and didn't let the door hit him in the ass when he found out there was going to BE an Amy. I don't want to be that guy."
"Of course you don't. You're the opposite of that guy. She's damn lucky you're the man you are, too. Look, how many times have we been through this? Our sweet little angel can act like a heartless bitch when she's upset, and you know it. She says things she doesn't mean, she does things she regrets later. This is Amy, Jack. How many times have you reminded me not to take it to heart?"
"I know. This is different, though."
"Why? Because it's you this time instead of me?" Doug asked the question in a semi-amused tone, but Jack turned around and frowned at him over his shoulder.
"I guess that's not really fair, is it? And I don't know why I can't take my own advice. All I do know is it hurts."
"That's parenthood, babe. It's our job to raise our kid with love, and it's her job to turn everything we've ever taught her against us as she morphs into this teenage beast hell bent on breaking our hearts over and over again. But we can't let her. If we do, she wins. And I don't like to lose."
Jack smiled. "What made you such an expert on parenthood?"
"Maybe it's being surrounded by young whippersnappers like you and Pacey and your long-overdue-to-cut-the-ties high school gang. As the patriarchal figure here, I guess I've just absorbed more wisdom than the rest of you. Live and learn, Jacky my boy."
Jack gently elbowed Doug in the stomach. "I forget you're an old man sometimes. You're holding up very well, you know."
"Thank you. I do my best. Now, shall we head upstairs? I believe you mentioned something earlier about appetite suppression..." Doug arched a teasing eyebrow at Jack, who glanced up at Amy's window.
"And I intend to make good on that promise," he said. "But I have to do something first."
"Come on, Jack," Doug said, serious again. "Let it go for tonight. She's done enough to spoil our evening, hasn't she? Don't give her the chance to do any more damage."
"I need to check on her. You didn't see how upset she was. There was something in her eyes. Something kind of like...hopelessness. It scared me."
"Well then let me do it, okay? I'll check on her. You hang out here and think of new and extreme ways to impress me later."
Jack hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, okay. But don't let it turn into a fight, please. I'm not nearly in the frame of mind to mediate."
Doug gave him a mock innocent look. "You wouldn't be implying that I am an instigator, now, would you?" Jack rolled his eyes, smiling, as Doug started back into the house.
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Amy felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. Sitting on the edge of her bed in her now-dark room, she gasped for breath and tried to will herself to calm down and think clearly. What had she done? In the last two hours she had succeeded in alienating the guy she was beginning to believe she was really in love with, losing her lifelong best friend and breaking his heart in the process, and saying something cruel and virtually unforgivable to her dad, who was just trying to help her. And what made it worse was knowing that these were three of the few people in the world that she had always, always been able to count on. At the moment it was impossible to feel anything but hatred for herself.
There was a sharp rap on the door, and Doug's voice called her name. When she didn't answer, he said, "All right, I'm coming in."
She sat up and swiped at the tears on her cheeks as he swung the door open and towered in the doorway, his jaw set and his eyes sharp.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked sternly. "Do you know how badly you hurt your dad's feelings? Do you care? Look, Amy, it's one thing to be upset and angry, but when you start trying to make the people who love you feel just as bad as you do, it's time to snap out of it and stop being so selfish."
Amy nodded, looking down at her hands. "I didn't mean what I said to him."
"Of course you didn't. I know that, he knows that, but that doesn't take away the pain you've caused him. You can't just lash out in anger and then expect to apologize later and make it all better. Some words leave scars."
She raised her head to look at him, tears flooding her eyes. "So I can't fix it?"
Seeing the pain clearly on her flushed, tear-stained face, he relented and came over to squat beside her next to the bed. "Tell him you're sorry," he said. "You can't undo the damage, but that's a good first step to healing it. Let him know how much you love him. He's very worried about you, Aim. We've both been worried about you."
She looked at him, surprised. "You too?"
"Of course me too. I don't like the path you're heading down, baby. We want to trust you, and you're making that very hard to do."
She took a deep, shuddery breath. "I guess so. But Dougie, isn't making mistakes part of growing up?"
"Mistakes, yes. Not bad choice after bad choice, which is what you've been doing."
"It's not Ben's fault," she said tentatively, wanting to tread lightly in this area. "I know you blame him, but you shouldn't. I make my own decisions."
Doug sighed. "I promised Jack I wouldn't let this turn into a fight, kiddo, so we're going to table that discussion for now. That Chambers kid is dangerous territory."
"Andy's not perfect either, you know."
"No one said he was."
"I think I'm in love with Ben, Dougie."
Doug squeezed his eyes shut, wishing she hadn't said that. "Not now," he said again, biting his tongue against the urge to make a sarcastic remark. "Go out and talk to your dad."
She stood up, feeling like his non-response was at least a pseudo-victory for Ben. She started out of the room, then turned back to Doug and hugged him tightly. He was taken aback but pleased at the uncharacteristic display of affection that was usually reserved for Jack. He brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes as she looked up at him.
"You're a good kid, Aim," he said. "We just want to keep it that way, all right? Work with us, not against us."
She nodded, then pulled out of his embrace and set off to make amends with her other dad.
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Jack was sitting on the edge of the pier, dangling his feet near the surface of the black night-water of the creek. Amy stood nervously, looking down at him, hoping he was going to make this easy on her.
"Um, Daddy?" she began.
"Mmm?" He didn't look up.
"I'm sorry, okay?"
"Okay."
"Really, I am. I've had a horrible night, and I don't even know what I'm saying. I...I shouldn't have talked to you that way."
"All right."
"Dad, please..."
"Please what? You want me to tell you all is perfect again? It's not, Amy. And just because Doug sent you down here to apologize doesn't mean I'm automatically going to open up my arms and tell you everything is okay when it's not."
Amy was struck speechless for a few moments. She was tempted to turn around and leave him sitting there. She'd tried, hadn't she? Couldn't he see that she was hurting? That this was hard for her? But she shook off the thoughts and stood her ground.
"Dougie didn't send me, Daddy. I'm really sorry for what I said. You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to, but at least believe that I didn't mean it," she said, her tone taking on a note of pleading as she hurried on. "You're much more my father than the guy whose DNA I was unlucky enough to inherit. I got more than my fair share of parents with you and Dougie. You guys are the best dads in the world. I...I don't even deserve you." She trailed off into silence.
After what seemed like an eternity, Amy finally decided he wasn't going to answer, that she really had done irreparable damage by her malicious words. Feeling the tears surge into her eyes once more, she turned to walk away.
"Amy." He caught her arm and turned her to face him. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. Thank you for saying it," he said. "Come here." He held his arms out and she flung herself into them, lost in a wave of relief so powerful it took her breath away.
When they finally pulled apart, he tilted her face up so that she had to look at him. "Want to tell me what happened tonight?" he asked in a tone that left little room for her to refuse. "Maybe this time without so many insults and accusations?"
She took a deep, shuddery breath. "I'll tell you if you promise not to miss the point by getting mad at me for the trivial parts. Like Ben coming over."
He studied her face for several moments and then nodded. "Deal," he said.
They settled back down on the pier as she began pouring out the details of her heartrending evening. Jack listened carefully, not interrupting, savoring his own feeling of relief that washed over him as she spoke. She was opening up, letting him back into a world she had actively shut him out of for the past few months. Maybe he hadn't lost her after all.