Chapter Forty-one

They sat in the waiting room at GH, not speaking - mostly because they were all struck silent with fear. Rafe paced the floor, his heart in his throat. She and the baby had to be alright. There was no other option.

Abby sat on the couch, holding Kate's hand, until Kate couldn't sit still any longer. She jumped up and ran outside, suddenly needing air.

Grant looked around the room, fuming. They were all so stupid. He looked over and saw Becky sitting alone, clutching her favorite stuffed animal.

She shouldn't be by herself, Grant thought, getting even more angry. This was a complete travesty. What was wrong with everyone around here?

He walked over and sat beside her, running a hand over her head. "Hey Squirt." He said softly.

"Grant." She looked up at him with eyes full of sadness, her bottom lip quivering. "Can you do something for me?"

"Sure, kiddo." He replied as he kissed her forehead. "Anything you need."

"Can you give him to Daddy?" Becky said as she thrust her little bunny at him. "Can you ask him to give him to Grandpa Ed?"

"Becks…" Grant sighed.

Her eyes were shining with tears but they were serious as she spoke. She reached for his hands and made them take what she offered.

"I want Grandpa Ed to have it. Then maybe he won't take Mommy to live with him. I'm going to give him my bear too, so that we can find my baby brother or sister. I heard Dr. Ian say that the baby might be lost." She was trying so hard not to cry. "I don't understand though - Grant. Mommy has the baby in her tummy - right? How can it be lost? Why can't they find it?" Tears began to spill down her cheeks.

"Oh Becky." His heart broke as he pulled her onto his lap and held her close.

Her little voice was choked with sobs. "Mommy told me lots of times to put my bunny away but I forgot. I was outside playing and I forgot to pick him up. It's my fault she fell down. I left him on the stairs."

"Becks. Sweetie. Listen to me." He pulled back and stared into her eyes. He needed to make her understand. "This is not your fault. OK? It was an accident. It wasn't because of you or your bunny."

Grant couldn't take it anymore. He rubbed her back as he held her. Within minutes, Becky had cried herself to sleep.

He picked his sister up and walked over to the so-called adults, all standing around talking.

"Someone needs to call Elizabeth." Rafe was saying to them, his voice hollow and dead. "I would call her but don't know where she is. Someone has to find her. If something happens, she has to know..."

Abby placed a hand on his arm and spoke softly. "I'll find her, Rafe. You concentrate on Alison, OK?"

Still fuming, Grant tapped his father on the shoulder.

"What is it, Grant?" Rafe asked, his voice impatient.

"Not that any of you would notice anyway, but I just wanted to tell you I'm taking Becky home. Oh and here." He said as he shoved the toy at Rafe.

"What are you doing?" He asked his son, confused. "What's this?"

"Becky thinks that Mom fell because she left this on the stairs. She wants you to give it to Grandpa Ed so that he won't take her to live with him. There's a bear she has at home that she wants to give to him too. It's so she can "find" the baby. She's worried about it being lost."

Rafe stared at him speechless. Abby and Cam looked at him with surprise. No one said a word for a full minute.

Grant's voice shook with anger as he turned on all of them. "Did any of you even think to try to explain anything to her? She's beside herself. She's willing to give up everything she loves to make this right again."

Grant hitched Becky up so that her head rested on his shoulder, her little arms twined around his neck. She was tiny but she was getting heavy. "While you and Kate were busy going at each other this poor little kid's been sitting here thinking she had done something to cause all this. If Mom or the baby doesn't make it, I don't know exactly who to blame but it sure won't be her."

This thing just kept getting worse. "Oh my God. Becky…" Rafe said softly as he placed a hand on her hair. It stayed in midair as Grant pulled her away and moved towards the door.

Devastated by everything that had happened today, Rafe sank into a chair, holding his head in his hands.

"Grant!" Abby called out softly.

He didn't turn around. Cradling Becky in his arms, he strode out of the ER and straight to his car.

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Kate sat on a bench in the park across from the hospital, her breath coming out in frantic pants. She fought to get herself under control. She could barely breathe. She knew this whole thing was her fault.

Colin stood by and watched her. He had seen her run from the hospital in tears. He got here as soon as he could after Kevin called and told him what had happened.

She looked up and saw him coming towards her. She wanted to run into his arms and at the same time, she wanted to shove him away. It was all so confusing. Shouldn't it be easier than this? She thought to herself.

Silently, Colin sat beside her and tried to take her in his arms.

"I need you to stay away from me." Kate's voice shook as she pushed him away.

"Katrina…" Colin looked at her desperately.

She shook her head at him, cringing when he tried to hold her. "No. I mean it. I need you to go. We were wrong. This isn't right. I can't do this anymore."

He knew something bad would happen. His father would make sure of it. His pulse raced with fury as he thought of him. This was why he didn't want to get involved with her in the first place. But now that they were - he couldn't let her go.

"Katrina. Please. Just talk to me. We promised each other this didn't matter."

"I know." She said, her heart breaking as she caught the look on his face. "I know, and I thought we really could do this. But it's no use. Don't you see? Too much has happened that we can't fix, no matter how much we want to." She squirmed away from him.

"What about what we said? That us being together was finally a way to end all of this." He pleaded, his hands aching to touch her.

"That's just it. It's not ending!!" She stood and yelled at him. "It's worse than ever and my mother…." She began to sob. "If she - Colin, if something happens to the baby… I swear to you - I won't ever be able to forgive myself."

He pulled her back and held her tight. "Stop. Please. I love you Katrina." He said as he crushed his mouth to hers. He kissed her again and again. "I love you. Tell me you can walk away from me. Tell me you don't love me and I'll leave you alone."

"Colin…" She couldn't do it. She couldn't walk away from him. From almost the moment she met him she knew it was impossible. "Please. Just let me go."

"Katrina. You were the very first person besides Doc to look at me and not see my father. Do you understand what that means to me?" He moved his hands to frame her face and stared into her eyes. "All my life, I've been trying to escape him, and with you - I finally can. I never thought I'd ever be lucky enough to find you. I can't let you go. Please. Katrina, please. Don't leave me."

"Colin…" She sobbed, finally clutching his shirt and bringing him closer instead of pushing him away. "My mom. My family. It's completely falling apart and it's all because of us."

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Rafe's head shot up as he saw Ian approaching. He jumped up and pleaded. "Please. Ian. Let me see her."

Ian held Rafe's arm, keeping him from sprinting to Alison's room. "Yes. Of course. You can go in just a minute. First, I need to talk to you about her condition." He pulled Rafe to sit back down.

Ian's voice got quiet as he explained. "She's still unconscious Rafe and that's not a good sign. I don't have to tell you it's important for her to wake up soon."

"I understand." Rafe nodded. Rafe was terrified to know the truth, but he needed answers. He took a deep breath and spoke softly. "Please. I need you to tell me. What about the baby?"

Ian wasn't about to sugar coat it. "I can't tell you what will happen. I can let you know that right now? They are both stable. But, the next 24 hours are crucial. We'll be monitoring them both.

He nudged Rafe, prompting him to stand. "Go to her. I have a feeling it's exactly what she needs most."

"Thank you for taking such good care of her, Ian." Rafe said softly, his voice shaking as he moved towards her room.

"Don't mention it. Go on with you." Ian urged him.

Rafe walked through the door, his heart in his throat when he saw her.

Seeing Alison lying there brought the images to his mind again, of watching her fall, of hearing Kate's scream, of the look of terror on Becky's face as they took Alison off in the ambulance.

He moved to sit beside her, taking her hand in his. It took him a few minutes to find his voice. He didn't quite know what to say.

Rafe tried to keep his tone light. "Hey Angel. I thought we were going to stop coming here? I think we should make a pact. No hospital visits that aren't to the maternity ward."

As he said the words he tried to smile, but all he could think was that maybe they wouldn't be making a visit there after all this time. The realization had his hands beginning to shake and tears filling his eyes. How could he have let this happen? Nothing else mattered but her.

Just then he noticed the ring she wore, the four stones representing all that was precious to them both.

How many times? Rafe thought to himself. How many times would he let this happen? He was supposed to protect her - always. Over and over again she was the one that wound up hurt. It was the last thing he ever wanted to occur and yet here they were again.

Rafe brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. A tear ran down his cheek unheeded for the moment. "You have to be alright. Both of you. Do you hear me?" He whispered as he placed his other hand gently on her stomach. "Please Alison. Please, come back to me. Can't you see how much I need you?" He said as his voice broke. "I do. I need you so much. I can't…" He trailed off, the mere idea making him crazy, leaving him speechless once more.

Rafe took a deep breath and spoke again, praying she could hear him. "This whole thing - me - the kids? You have to know that we don't work without you. Even with you I manage to screw things up. So you see? You have to wake up because I know that I can't do this by myself, Alison. I wouldn't even know how to try."

He continued to hold her hand tightly. Sighing, he brought his chin down to rest on their joined hands. "I'm sorry. You warned me and you were right. Alison. I'm so sorry." He said again, fear coursing through his veins. "Please. Wake up and tell me I told you so. Wake up and be furious with me. I know how much I deserve it." He continued to whisper, over and over. "Just please wake up."